Hey, Strasnuts, wouldn’t it be hilarious if you walked someone someday?

Florida (7) at Washington (5) | 19:05 ET
Regarding a Thing the Author Has Done
Once again, the author has seen fit to assign a NERD score of greater than 10 to Mr. Stephen Strasburg for the purposes of giving Strasburg’s game the evening’s highest overall game score.

On What Authority the Author Did That
This authority, mostly:

On What Other Authority He Did It
That, especially with the Red Sox’ victory over the Rays last night, Strasburg’s start probably really does represent the most interesting game this evening.

Strasburg’s Numbers So Far
Strasburg has done this through his first two starts: 8.0 IP, 27.6% K, 0.0% BB, 33.3% GB, 2.14 SIERA, 2.26 xFIP, 59 xFIP-.

A Brief Note on the Nationals Broadcast Team
From my brief experience of listening to him, I feel confident saying that colorman F.P. Santangelo is above average.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Nationals Television.

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Matt Wieters entered his rookie season of 2009 with considerable fanfare — especially among the baseballing nerd community. Even before he’d played his first major-league game, Wieters had been celebrated both as the sporting version of Chuck Norris and, by the PECOTA projection system, as very possibly the best hitter in the majors.

While perhaps overzealous, the expectations were based in some substance. Wieters slashed .366/.484/.594 in three years at Georgia Tech while walking (152) about 1.5 more times than he struck out (108) — as a catcher, no less. After being drafted fifth overall by Baltimore in the 2007 draft, Wieters slashed .343/.438/.576 with almost as many walks (102) as strikeouts (106) across three minor-league levels between 2008 and the beginning of 2009 — again, as a catcher. He was ranked as the 12th and then first overall prospect on Baseball America’s preseason top-100 lists from 2008 and ’09, respectively. If not likely, it seemed at least possible, that Wieters would be a star instantly.

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You know what just got you know what.

Tampa Bay (7) at Boston (9) | 19:10 ET
Brass Tacks
With Tampa Bay’s 9-2 victory yesternight, the Rays are now only three games behind the Red Sox in the AL Wild Card.

Brass Tacks, Vol II
Per Cool Standings, Boston’s and Tampa Bay’s playoff odds are 88.7% and 8.2%, respectively.

Brass Tacks, Vol III
Per our mortal enemies, Boston and Tampa Bay’s playoff odds are 94.5% and 4.4%, respectively.

A Note on Tonight’s Pitchers
You should consider filing tonight’s pitching matchup under Best Case Scenario, in terms of how it features something like each team’s staff ace in James Shields (226.1 IP, 78 xFIP-) and Josh Beckett (173.2 IP, 89 xFIP-).

A Note on Tonight’s Pitchers, Vol II
That is, unless you include the other pitchers who are something like each team’s staff ace in David Price (210.1 IP, 80 xFIP-) and Jon Lester (176.0, 88 xFIP-).

A Note on a Relevant Internet Meme
If you don’t mind seeing the word sh-t over and over on your computer screen, you might consider bathing your eyes and mind in this particular Google image search.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Red Sox Television.

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Jeremy Hellickson: already angry at you.

Tampa Bay (7) at Boston (10) | 19:10 ET
Brass Tacks
In terms of why this game is interesting, it’s because these two teams begin a four-game series today with one team (the Rays) exactly four games behind the other (the Red Sox) in the AL Wild Card race.

A Note Regarding Jeremy Hellickson
Jeremy Hellickson, who’s starting tonight for Tampa Bay, entered the season as one of the game’s most interesting prospects, thanks to his command and excellent changeup.

A Second Note Regarding Jeremy Hellickson
Hellickson’s season has maybe been a bit disappointing in light of his pedigree. Line: 170.1 IP, 15.6% K, 8.5% BB, 33.8% GB, 4.48 SIERA, 4.57 xFIP, 114 xFIP-.

A Third Note Regarding Jeremy Hellickson
Hellickson has faced 56 total batters over the last two games and struck out only three of them.

A Fourth Note Regarding Jeremy Hellickson
The author would mention none of this to Hellickson himself, owing to how the latter appears to be constantly annoyed and is almost definitely carrying a shiv of some description.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Red Sox Television.

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Peacocks actually can fly; they’re just really shy about it.

Washington (6) at New York NL (4) | 19:10 ET
What the Big Deal Is
The big deal in this game is how Bradley Peacock is making his first major-league start for the Nationals.

On Account of Why That’s a Deal, Big or Otherwise
Bradley Peacock’s first major-league start is a pretty big deal owing to his excellent minor-league numbers — or, at least his excellent Double-A numbers.

Regarding the Aforementioned Numbers
Here are Peacock’s minor-league numbers from 2011:

At Double-A: 98.2 IP, 11.77 K/9, 2.10 BB/9, 0.36 HR/9, 1.87 FIP

At Triple-A: 48.0 IP, 9.00 K/9, 4.50 BB/9, 0.94 HR/9, 4.18 FIP

On Account of Why Peacock’s Debut Is a Deal, Part II
Bradley Peacock’s first major-league start is also a pretty big deal because it allows one to ejaculate “Let the peacock fly!”

Regarding That Comment, What’s Funny About It
That comment is pretty funny, on account of peacocks can’t actually fly.

Regarding That Comment, What’s Funny About It, Part II
That comment is also pretty funny, on account of the word ejaculate is in it.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Nationals Television, maybe?

Two Other Games
Los Angeles AL (5) at Oakland (1) | 15:35 ET
Tonight in Oakland, the Angels persist in forcing us to imagine that there’s a playoff race in the AL West.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Angels Radio?

Arizona (9) at Los Angeles NL (4) | 20:10 ET
Observe as Arizona continues its attempt to “win all the games.” They face Clayton Kershaw.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Dodgers Television.

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Matt Wieters, and at least eight other people, play(s) for the Baltimore team.

Toronto (6) at Boston (10) | 19:10 ET
Regarding the Situation Here
The situation here is that, with Tampa Bay’s 5-2 victory over Baltimore on Monday night, the Red Sox are now only three games ahead of the Rays in the wild-card race — a fact which, much like a bee or a cell phone near a pair of speakers, is creating buzz.

Regarding the Situation Here, Part II
Another part of the situation here is that elder statesman — and actual elder — Tim Wakefield has made seven fruitless starts in pursuit of his 200th win.

Regarding the Situation Here, Part III
Some more of the situation is that WAR leaders — and probably AL MVP frontrunners — Jacoby Ellsbury (8.2) and Jose Bautista (7.8) are both playing in this game.

Regarding the Situation Here, Part IV
The last part of the situation is how Brett Lawrie — slashing .304/.383/.647 (188 wRC+), with a totally sustainable .316 BABIP over the last month — and Brandon Morrow are playing in this game, too.

Regarding Parts No. II and III, Above
Those aren’t actually so compelling for the author.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Red Sox Television.

Two Other Games
Tampa Bay (7) at Baltimore (2) | 19:05 ET
David Price of the Wild Card-contending Tampa Bay Rays will pitch against Matt Wieters and whomever else on the Orioles can get away for three hours.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Rays Television.

Los Angeles Americans (5) at Oakland (1) | 22:05 ET
As mentioned in yesterday’s rapture-inducing edition of the Leaderboards of Pleasure, Jerome Williams (pitching tonight) leads all pitchers with 20-plus innings as a starter in swinging-strike percentage, at 14.9%.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Hummina Hummina?

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Let the Leaderboards of Pleasure get all up in your nucleus accumbens.

Much like a perfectly orange and barely clothed Jim Palmer circa 1981, this edition of the Leaderboards of Pleasure wants nothing more than to hold you tight, tell you everything will be okay, and flood your brain with the neurotransmitter dopamine.

In our totally scientific and always rigorous search for pleasure, today we find a number of familiar faces, but also some new ones, too.

New ones like:

• Alejandro De Aza, who, after just 39 games and 116 plate appearances, already finds himself fourth among White Sock position players in WAR (and still fifth, if we discount his defensive contributions).

• Mike Trout, whose inclusion, so far as surprises go, isn’t one (i.e. a surprise).

• Jerome Williams, who, at 14.9%, has the highest swinging-strike rate (by a large-ish margin) of any pitcher with 20-plus innings as a starter.

Soak in the pleasure, ladies and gentlemen. (But mostly gentlemen, I’m guessing.)

1. Team NERD Leaderboard
2. Underrated Player Leaderboard
3. Player NERD Leaderboard
4. Pitcher NERD Leaderboard

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Juliet isn’t totally stoked about today’s slate of games.

Los Angeles Americans (5) at Oakland (1) | 22:05 ET
A Jeopardy Answer for Today’s Game
Jai Miller, Anthony Recker, and Michael Taylor.

A Relevant Jeopardy Question, Option No. 1
Who are three players with fewer than 100 career plate appearances combined?

A Relevant Jeopardy Question, Option No. 2
Who are three players who started for Oakland on Sunday?

Regarding Those Players, Their Triple-A Stats This Year
Miller: 475 PA, .276/.368/.588 (.401 BABIP), 11.4% BB, 37.7% K.
Recker: 412 PA, .287/.388/.501 (.328 BABIP), 13.6% BB, 19.7% K.
Taylor: 400 PA, .272/.360/.456 (.310 BABIP), 11.5% BB, 20.0% K.

Regarding Jai Miller, His Strikeout Rate
I’m no expert, but I’ll suggest he consider low-ifying it.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Ladies Choice.

Also Playing
Here’s the complete schedule for all of today’s games, with our very proprietary watchability (NERD) scores for each one. Pitching probables and game times aggregated from MLB.com and RotoWire. The average NERD Game Score for today is 5.3.

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Yeah, that’s Trout right there. I bench him just to eff with people.

New York Americans (10) at Los Angeles Americans (5) | 15:35 ET
A Thing
Provided I’m reading his BR game log correctly, it appears as though the Angels are 11-1 in games that Mike Trout has started since his (i.e. Trout’s) August 19th recall — over which time the team, as a whole, is 13-6 (making them 2-5 in games Trout has not started).

Obvious Question
Is that stat predictive in any way?

Rational Answer
No, obviously not.

Follow-Up Question
But do you, Carson Cistulli, still kinda feel like it’s a predictive stat?

Follow-Up Answer
Yes, of course I do.

Final, Important Note
With their win last night — and a Ranger loss — the Angels are only 1.5 games back in the AL West.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Angels Radio.

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John Locke: not a Pirate.

Florida (8) at Pittsburgh (5) | 19:05 ET
Boom, Debut
Though you probably already wrote about it in your diary and everything, allow me to inform you that left-hander Jeff Locke, 23, makes his major-league debut tonight for Pittsburgh.

Regarding Locke’s Numbers
Here are Jeff Locke’s numbers this season between Double- and Triple-A: 153.1 IP, 8.2 K/9, 3.2 BB/9, 0.6 HR/9.

Regarding Some Other of Locke’s Numbers
Per StatCorner, Locke’s ground-ball numbers appear to’ve hovered in the 45-50% area in the minors.

Regarding Locke’s Relationship to the Philosopher of a Similar Name
On the subject of Locke’s relationship to the 17th c. philosopher John, FanGraphs hasn’t been able to establish any relation between the two, although it should be noted that the former (i.e. Jeff) is fluent on the subject of epistemology.

Regarding How Long It Took to Craft That Fourth Section
Embarrassing minutes.

Regarding How the Yankee-Angel Game Tonight Is Way More Meaningful
Please go blerg yourself.

MLB.TV Audio Feed: Pirates Television. (Or Radio, is it, that’s better?)

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