Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 9/14/15

Dan Szymborski: If you die at 1 PM today, you will die knowing that you wasted the last hour of your existence because it’s time for the Dan Szymborski Cavalcade of Mediocrity!

Comment From Ryan Goins
MEDIOCRITY? THATS MY MIDDLE NAME!!!

Dan Szymborski: Cruel parents.

Comment From Walt Jocketty
Hey Danny Boy! Did you see Skip’s gritty home run vs. St. Louis this weekend? Vindication is sweet! EAT CROW STATS BOY

Dan Szymborski: heh

Dan Szymborski: It’s a holiday that comes twice a year!

Comment From Kwisatz Hadarach
If you are Jon Daniels, what is your game plan for the coming offseason?

Dan Szymborski: Wait and see. If I’m Daniels now, I don’t even know who is healthy in NOvember.

Comment From Neal
What should we take from Marcus Stroman’s first outing? Other than the yankee special he seemed pretty alright.

Dan Szymborski: Pretty solid.

Dan Szymborski: Nothing super notable other than he gives the Blue Jays another upper-tier rotation guy for the playoffs.

Comment From Tom
Think the Cardinals will hang on to the NL Central division lead?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Matt Harveys UCL
How about them Pirates? 2.5 back, think they can take the central?

Dan Szymborski: They can, but time favors the Cardinals. The calendar is getting small.

Comment From Neal
Insert weekly question about where Price signs here.

Comment From Concerned Reader John
Thought(s) on Johnny Cueto’s recent struggles?

Dan Szymborski: Oops, forgot to insert the weekly question for Neal

Dan Szymborski: “Where does Price sign?”

Dan Szymborski: But since I can’t ask questions at my own chat or it would destroy the chat trope, I cannot answer.

Dan Szymborski: I’d have to look at it more, but I get the impression almost that his delivery’s much sloppier than it usually is. But that could also be confirmation bias – I know he hasn’t pitched well lately, so I may be more inclined to believe it’s something like that.

Comment From Bob
What surprise Mystery Team signs Price this offseason?

Dan Szymborski: Bailing out Neal from the trap!

Dan Szymborski: Right now, I’m going to say Cubs.

Comment From Phillies113
Dan, I don’t really have a good baseball question to ask. What would be a good topic for me to bring up for this chat? Thanks!

Dan Szymborski: Anything you can think of once we hit the Lightning Round.

Comment From Marcus Stromans ACL
Who is your WS favorite right now this very moment?

Dan Szymborski: Dodgers right now. They’ve secured the race enough that the chances of the Giants foiling them are very long, so those scenarios don’t crush their WS odds.

Comment From Tim
Do you agree with Atlanta’s tanking strategy? It seems like losing that much could alienate a lot of fans

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure you can call it tanking. A full rebuild is sometimes necessary. People act like winning 65 games instead of 72 means something to the fans, when there’s no real evidence that it does

Dan Szymborski: It just sounds good “Hey you can’t completely tank or you lose the fans!” But the O’s decade not too long ago and the Rockies most of the time featured teams refusing to rebuild and going for .500 and it appears to be done absolutely jack @#%# for retaining fans.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, the Marlins killed their fan base, but that was also an extreme case.

Dan Szymborski: We’ll see how Astros attendance looks next year (attendance tends to lag a bit)

Dan Szymborski: Remember in the Marlins case it was essentially announcing “We’re going to sell off everybody because we don’t want to pay for anything and we demand a new park and by the way, our claims of losing $30 million is a complete @#%#% lie if you read the Smiley report.”

Comment From Neal
DAMNIT MY CONQUEST TO DESTROY THE SZYMBORSKI CAVALCADE OF MEDIOCRITY HAS BEEN RUINED AGAIN

Comment From Art Vandelay
Tulo down for H2H playoffs, should I use Sano or Lindor ROS?

Dan Szymborski: Depends how much the position is worth it to you.

Dan Szymborski: It’s not lik you can put Sano at short. If it’s a position, however, where SS/3B doesn’t matter, Sano then.

Comment From MSW
I’m in the fantasy playoffs so I need some halp. Which is a better start, Kazmir @ Texas or Quintana vs Oakland?

Dan Szymborski: I’d take Quintana.

Comment From Michael
Mediocrity as a middle name isn’t cruel parents. Mediocrity as a *first* name is cruel parents.

Dan Szymborski: Now, first name is *really* cruel parents.

Comment From Nostradamus
Presumably, Price will sign towards the bottom of the final sheet of the contract that is verbally agreed upon. Depending on the format, he may initial each page as well.

Comment From Guest
Dodgers sign Price and Grienke?

Dan Szymborski: I think they go all-out for Greinke and probably don’t win Price.

Comment From Lightning
What video games are you playing this week?

Dan Szymborski: The usual. (sorry, meant to save for Lightning Round)

Dan Szymborski: Hearthstone, Final Fantasy XIV

Dan Szymborski: (Finally got through the expansion storyline on the latter, now I’m starting to save up tomes for gear and getting remaining crafting/gathering to 60 and getting red scrip stuff)

Comment From Lightning
Portal Stories: Mel, played it?

Dan Szymborski: I have not.

Dan Szymborski: DAMMIT LIGHTNING

Dan Szymborski: I am very stupid, so I’m easy to trick.

:

Comment From Neal
There are some Blue Jays conspiracy theorists who believe that Tulo isn’t actually that injured, and the 2-3 week estimate is just to “give him a reason to get rest”. I don’t know why I’m posting this.

Dan Szymborski: That’s not a question. That’s a statement!

Comment From Andrew
Does Daniel Murphy get a QO?

Dan Szymborski: No.

Dan Szymborski: As we’ve seen from the Mets, they value $ and don’t value draft picks.

Dan Szymborski: Though I guess from the Cuddyer signing, you could say they don’t value either.

Comment From Ehhh
Think the Royals hold onto the AL lead?

Dan Szymborski: Yes. 2 games is more than it sounds at this point (not insurmountable, but 2 games is enough to make you signif favorite)

Dan Szymborski: And the Royals don’t have many tough games left

Dan Szymborski: There’s the Cubs makeup game and the Indian series (I still thin kthe Indians are better than the Twins) left

Comment From Frank
Do you think the Astros will go after a 1B for 2016, or rely on what they have until AJ Reed is ready?

Dan Szymborski: No, I don’t think that’s what they’ll target.

Dan Szymborski: 1B spending in FA tends to be inefficient.

Comment From Houzer
Are the Rays the worst offense in baseball right now against righties?

Dan Szymborski: Don’t think so – last I checked, I think the Marlins had like a 650 OPS against righties

Comment From Guest
Tulo with a cracked shoulder blade. What strange injury does he have next?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think a player has ever been put on the DL with beriberi!

Comment From MSW
So you think the Dodgers will top the Mets in the NLDS?

Dan Szymborski: I do.

Dan Szymborski: In the NLDS, you get a disproportionate amount of Greinke/Kershaw compared to what you get in regular season

Comment From Mike
I saw your retweet of Greg Holland’s precipitous velocity decline … I don’t remember – in general does a sudden, dramatic decline in velo strongly suggest injury?

Dan Szymborski: It can, but I don’t want to cause any panic.

Comment From Steve Donahue
why did it take three MRIs to figure out that Teixeira’s leg was broken?

Dan Szymborski: Maybe the first two were MREs? “Nah, the boil-in-bag spaghetti says he’s ok?”

Comment From Thorn
I’m streaming verrett tonight. Thoughts?

Dan Szymborski: Home and the Marlins suck. There are worse ideas easily

Comment From Tim
As a pirates fan who went through Dave Littlefields yearly “drive for 75” and then saw Huntington tear it down, a lot of locals DID care about winning 70 instead of 60. Fans went insane when he traded away the “core” of McLouth, Nady and Bay

Dan Szymborski: Except you’re making my point.

Dan Szymborski: THe more rabid fans yelled about it on talk radio

Dan Szymborski: There was no decrease in attendance. Since 2009 – the Pirates attendance has been up every year.

Dan Szymborski: 2014 was the 3rd highest attendance/game in the history of the Pirates. 2015 is the 1st.

Dan Szymborski: Despite the complaining, nobody actually valued winning 70 instead of 60. People valued *actually being a good team*

Dan Szymborski: And sweeping Dave Littlefield’s Augean Stables was the best way to actually be a good team.

Comment From Jordan
It’s looking more likely that the Jays are going to take a run @ Price in free agency, do you think they are for real or just pandering to what the fan base wants to hear?

Dan Szymborski: I think they will but will be outbid

Comment From Mike
So where are the Indians right now as far as playoff odds? Where were they a month ago? Is there any chance? (I think the answer to the last question is no but I’m hoping you say yes.)

Dan Szymborski: Low single digits. Actually a slightly worse standing than last month – the calendar was always against them

Dan Szymborski: If the schedule was 182 games, the Indians would have a decent shot. 162 games, not so much.

Dan Szymborski: All of these things have to happen: they have to be 4 better than the Twins over 21, 2 better than the Angels over 21, and at *least* 5 games better than the loser of the AL West.

Dan Szymborski: And the schedule hurts them because with the AL West teams playing each other, one team tanking will help the other teams.

Dan Szymborski: Like say the Rangers fall apart. 20% of their remaining games are against the Angels, so that takes away a scenario

Dan Szymborski: Because let’s say the Rangers go 8-12 in their final 20 games. That’s good for the Indians. But they also need that to be against Houston and Seattle, not against the Angels.

Dan Szymborski: If you pencil in an 0-4 scenario for Rangers against Angels, the Angels have a 4-0 scenario and with that assumption, their average result over last 20 would be 12-8, which puts Indians needing .667 ball

Dan Szymborski: Obviously, that’s *one* scenario of many, but just pointing out that every scenario like this that exists hurts the Indians

Dan Szymborski: That’s why it can sometimes be very very hard to make up even a few games when you’re behind several teams that play each other a lot

Dan Szymborski: Same with the Twins. The Twins could suck in September and lose a bunch of ground to Indians in 7 games. But if the Indians suck in September, it’s likely they also sucked against the Angels.

Comment From Christian
Which GM job would you prefer: Phillies or Mariners? I am afraid you will say Phillies since they have something that actually resembles a farm system 🙁

Dan Szymborski: Phillies.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think the Mariners actually understand why the Zduriencik years failed.

Dan Szymborski: I believe the Mariners believe that the Mariners organization had good plans that Zduriencik failed to execute. I’d argue that the organization had bad plans that Zduriencik executed in average fashion.

Comment From ozzie
Cespedes to Baltimore this offseason?

Dan Szymborski: Probably not. He’s going to be very overpaid I think and that’s not usually the O’s gas.

Comment From Michael
It looks like the projections show the Dodgers would be about 3-2 favorites over the Mets in the NLDS. Seems a little high, no?

Dan Szymborski: 60% isn’t that crazy.

Comment From MSW
Somehow the Mets managed to rebuild despite trying to not tank completely because they were worried about losing fans.

Dan Szymborski: Except they *did* lose fans.

Dan Szymborski: Go check their attendance numbers – tryign to win 75 games a year didn’t do anything to retain the fans of the late 00s

Comment From Josh I
Hi Dan! Been waiting a while to ask you this. Best career – Chris Bassitt, Sean Nolin, Kendall Graveman, or Jesse Hahn?

Dan Szymborski: If Hahn were healthy right now I’d say him

Dan Szymborski: But he’s not

Dan Szymborski: Bassitt probably safest

:

Comment From Geralt of Rivia
Hi Dan, any opinion on the regular meltdowns of Sale against the Twins? It’s mostly luck by them or they found sometingh to lecture him ??

Dan Szymborski: I wouldn’t read too much into noisy data. Even if there *is* signal here, you’ll never find it.

Comment From Ol Sea Capn
Where do you see Taijuan Walker ranking next year? His second half has shown promise but is he ready to breakout?

Dan Szymborski: He’s always on the verge of it, but he still goes through these long stretches where he just looks like he has no idea what he’s doing out there

Dan Szymborski: Now, walks aren’t an issue, so I’m not talking about that

Dan Szymborski: It’s just that he goes up there and sometimes seems like he’s just out there throwing.

:

Comment From brian
Will Kyle Schwarber play another game at catcher, and pick up eligibility for next year, or are the Cubs worried about the rib injury?

Dan Szymborski: He might sneak in another one still.

Comment From Tim
Fun Fact: Oliver Perez’s 2004 season is in the dictionary beside the word “outlier”

Dan Szymborski: You have a really weird dictionary

Comment From Neal
If the Mets don’t sign Cespedes. Will the fans reach Rockies Reyes levels of depression?

Dan Szymborski: Possibly.

Comment From Jeremy Corbyn
Be seeing you.

Dan Szymborski: Well, if I’m hanging out in 4th place in the 2020 election, sure.

Comment From Ol Sea Capn
Is Odorizzi worth the hype? I feel like I missed an opp to sell high on him pre injury but unsure what hos future holds. Thiughts?

Dan Szymborski: I think he’s rated fairly accurately right now

Comment From Jill
Pick 1 to stream. I don’t need K’s. Smyly vBAL (Chen) or Matz vNYY (Pineda). Matz was shakey against the Braves & Smyly has been great & not so great.

Dan Szymborski: At home I’ll go with smyly

Comment From Tito F.
When’s Kluber coming back?

Dan Szymborski: When his hammy’s better. I dont’ think he’s on a specific timetable.

Comment From Marc
Was the weekend series the kiss of death for the Yankees with respect to the division?

Dan Szymborski: Not death, but 3.5 games is fairly serious at the this time of year.

Comment From Guest
Worst cliche playoff trope announcers start to wheel out around now? I nominate “winning the playoffs is all about getting hot at the right time,” which is as much of a tautology as I can come up with.

Dan Szymborski: I always enjoy that one. It’s essentially A = A.

Dan Szymborski: (as you note of course)

Dan Szymborski: All the various playoff experience bullcrap.

Dan Szymborski: There’s actually no evidence that teams with playoff experience on the roster out-perform their expected records and vice-versa

Comment From Gary
Why Lindor gettin’ no love for the AL ROY?

Dan Szymborski: Evaluating defense is tricky — even with Lindor expected to play excellent defense — and Lindor came up about the time the mainstream stopped paying attention to the Indians

Comment From Guest
Do the Cardinals sign Heyward this offseason?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Phillies113
What if the parents are Greek, and they name their child Mediocrates?

Comment From Guest
apparently jack white attempted to fight the guy from black keys last night. good on him

Dan Szymborski: I have no idea what the background of this is

Comment From Gary
Any thoughts on Trout’s precipitous decline in stolen bases?

Dan Szymborski: It’s not unexpected. First, stolen bases peak very very very early

Dan Szymborski: And guys that prove to be extremely crucial *outside* of their stolen bases tend to see their attempts decline quite a bit

Comment From Greg Hollands Mother
MY BABY BOY IS INJURED?

Comment From Guest
“the ‘core’ of McLouth, Nady and Bay” my heart pines for the people of pittsburgh

Comment From Ryan
Should the Nationals consider rebuilding, or are they still in decent shape for next year?

Dan Szymborski: I think they’re in pretty good shape

Comment From hscer
What changes in ZiPs from late September to next year’s preseason projections?

Dan Szymborski: Full model, year of aging significant. Things like BABIP are “stickier” in season than season-to-season

Comment From Jordan
Is Alex Anthopoulos the exec if the year?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Guest
Cubs’ playoff odds something around 100%, and division odds have been so low that I never considered it as a possibility. Is there any reason I should care about games they lose?

Dan Szymborski: Well, home field for the playoff game is a few percentage points

Comment From 20longyears
If you’re Neal Huntington, what offer do you make to Happ after the season? He’s not this good, and he’d cost more, and Kingham and Glasnow and Taillon will crowd the rotation soon, but he’s probably still better than Locke.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think I would

Comment From Guest
What do the Cardinals do with Moss next year? Or do they trade him before then?

Dan Szymborski: If nobody shows interest, he’s a possible non-tender.

Comment From hscer
FG still has the Nats at non-zero to win the World Series! (0.1%, but still!) Do you?

Dan Szymborski: Well, not zero – I wouldn’t put the odds that we’re living in a simulation of the universe at exactly zero. Longer than FG for sure.

Comment From Julio Pepper
Any chance Choo can be a 2-ish WAR player and salvage some of his contract?

Dan Szymborski: He can be 2ish maybe. It’s still looking pretty awful

Comment From Guest
Astros only have 91% playoff odds, seems pretty low no?

Dan Szymborski: You guys always want to ask about the odds I dont’ run! lol

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think that’s low.

Dan Szymborski: They’re not *that* far ahead of the Twins and Angels.

Dan Szymborski: If they don’t win ithe division, the events that make them not win the division are also likely to make winning a wild card difficult

Dan Szymborski: If they don’t win the division, all their odds are essentially WC2 because if they don’t win the division, they sure as hell didn’t lose the division *and* catch the AL East loser (likely the Yankees)

Comment From Sean
Do you see Yasmani Tomas having trade value, especially if a team could put him at 1B? I think he’d be a plus defender at first (he’s surprisingly athletic, just raw) and he definitely has potential with the bat. His contract is pretty friendly too.

Dan Szymborski: I think he would have some trade value.

Dan Szymborski: But Arizona would only trade him for $70 million worth of prospects because that’s what he signed for.

Dan Szymborski: Trout only signed a $1.2 million signing bonus. So ARizona would need just under 60 Trouts or so in return to make a trade.

Comment From Neal
DAMN DAN. SHUTTING DOWN ALLLLLL INDIAN FANS HOPES AND DREAMS.

Comment From Cube Jockey
Would you rather see the rosters for the Wild Card games carry over to the division series so that the WC games have to be managed more like a standard game?

Dan Szymborski: No, I think the all-in play-in is a really good thing

Comment From Mandatory High Socks
So, Ryan Dull. Any thoughts?

Dan Szymborski: He’s lucky *his* parents didn’t name him Mediocre

Dan Szymborski: He’s deserved a shot – I think it’s always smart for teams to look at guys that defy their original scouting reports

Dan Szymborski: He’s not a big guy and his fastball doesn’t pop any high numbers, but he’s got a crapload of movement

Comment From Matt
Who will be a bigger disappointment relative to their contracts that they’ll sign next year – Jason Heyward, or Yoenis Cespedes?

Dan Szymborski: Cespedes

Comment From Mandatory High Socks
What midrange SP would the A’s go after in free agency? Buerlhe?

Dan Szymborski: Buehrle in Oakland would be fun, though there’s always the chance he retires which he always threatens

Comment From tom
What are your thoughts on Craig Counsell as manager? From the limited amount I’ve seen him, he seems to love sacrifice bunting with his position players with a man on first and no outs..

Dan Szymborski: Honestly, I dont’ turn to a ton of Brewers games this year so any impression of this type would be small sample

Comment From Josh Thole
I’m Dickey’s personal catcher. I close my eyes when I catch his knuckleball, and I’m the best one at it. I CLOSE MY DAMN EYES, DAN.

Comment From Phillies113
If each playoff-bound team could choose only one player from a non-playoff team to play for them just for the duration of the playoff run, which players would (or should) each team take?

Dan Szymborski: Harper?

Comment From Luke
Sting WWE Champion?

Dan Szymborski: WOuld have been more interested if this was 15 years ago

Comment From MSW
Correct, the Mets lost a ton of fans, and most like me refused to spend money on the team because of ownership. I’d have preferred a total teardown, or even if they admitted before 2012 that they had been rebuilding for three years. That being said, they tried the half-assed rebuild plan, it took 6 years, and now they’ve got a contender. I’m pleased with the result even though I railed against the process.

Comment From AgaveOtter
Your opinions on Patron Warrior? should he be nerfed? if so, how?

Dan Szymborski: oops, clipped wrong one

Dan Szymborski: Well, we’re getting to 1 PM

Dan Szymborski: OK, let’s call the start of the Lightning Round. Especially since everybody was good and I only8 had to save a couple questions for the Lightning Round.

Dan Szymborski: The rules of the Lightning Round are simple. I have to answer every off-topic question EVEN IF I DO NOT HAVE ANY PARTICULAR INSIGHT OR KNOWLEDGE. Usual exceptions (explicit stuff, work-related)

Dan Szymborski: So if you ask me question about ESPN and esports or something that counts as something I do not have to answer!

Dan Szymborski: (and won’t)

Comment From Guest
Is there something wrong with the fact that each of our 9 supreme court justices attended one of three law schools? Or does that simply reflect that our system works well to smoke out merit through two levels of higher education gatekeeping (i.e. admissions) and evaluation (i.e. grades)?

Dan Szymborski: I think what it comes down to is that the brightest and also importantly *ambitious* minds try to hit those schools.

Dan Szymborski: And bright minds that are also *ambitious* will more likely seek out those schools.

Comment From Guest
‘No way to prevent mass shootings,’ says only nation where this regularly happens

Dan Szymborski: Actually, on a per capita basis, our standing in mass shootings is rather unimpressive – where we excel are those run-of-the-mill murders.

Dan Szymborski: Like our overall murder rate kicks germany’s ass, but our rampage shooting deaths per capital is only liek 20% higher.

Comment From Art Vandelay
Is too much RNG ruining Hearthstone?

Dan Szymborski: No, RNG is a big part of spectator sports of all types.

Dan Szymborski: Look at how BABIP is a thing.

Dan Szymborski: Poker has even bigger RNG and it’s a very successful spectator event for a card game

Dan Szymborski: The thing is RNG *does* help better players too – it creates a wide variety of tactical situations.

Comment From Guest
The Outfield – Your Love: great song or greatest song?

Dan Szymborski: heh

Comment From Matt
Tomas could be had for a school of trout? Seems low, no?

Comment From Guest

Mr. Stewart, we have your shipment here in return for Yasmani Tomas.

Comment From Guest
How much does recency bias affect FA contracts? Talk of Cespedes getting a boatload, certainty that Fowler will get a QO, etc. when they’re not exactly young and having career-best seasons.

Dan Szymborski: There’s quite a bit of recency bias

Dan Szymborski: Would be interesting to do a more specific study

Comment From That guy
You know WWE isn’t real, right?

Dan Szymborski: You know Breaking Bad isn’t real, right?

Dan Szymborski: OMG YOU SO STUPID DID YOU THINK BRYAN CRANSTON WAS ACTUALLY MAKING METH? LOLOL

Comment From Guest
Why not call this the thunder round?

Dan Szymborski: Thunder is loud and seeing text isn’t loud.

Comment From Mark
Fixing Patron is easy: Warsong commander’s effect is a buff – once something gets higher than 3 attack it no longer has charge.

Dan Szymborski: That’s what I would do. The problem with Patron Warrior isn’t really the Grim Patrons.

Dan Szymborski: The Patron Warrior deck should best be described as a Frothing Berserker deck.

Dan Szymborski: Patrons are annoying as hell, but it’s those Berserkers doing 40 damage that is what makes the deck overpowered

Dan Szymborski: And relatively non-interactive.

Dan Szymborski: I might raise Patron to 6 or reduce to 3/2, but only after testing after a warsong fix.

Comment From Guest
Bruce Springsteen even wrote a song about it, Thunder Round

Dan Szymborski: heh

Comment From Guest
What’s the most explicit thunder round question you have declined to answer?

Dan Szymborski: Sex-related stuff. Not sure why people would ask a dumpy nerd approaching middle age sex questions but people are odd.

Comment From Mandatory High Socks

Comment From Guest
Have you ever been to japan

Dan Szymborski: I have not.

Comment From Guest
Have you ever been to scotland

Dan Szymborski: I have.

Comment From Guest
Have you ever been to italy

Dan Szymborski: I have not.

Comment From Guest
Have you ever been to sweden

Dan Szymborski: No

Comment From Guest
Have you ever been to lesotho

Comment From Phillies113
Who dropped the screw in the tuna?!

Dan Szymborski: I’m guessing this is a sexual question?

Comment From Guest
is shrek love? is shrek life?

Dan Szymborski: No, yes

Comment From Matt
Soup, or Spaghetti?

Dan Szymborski: Spaghetti

Comment From Blast Hardcheese
When you want to get rid of a headache, what do you reach for? Aspirin, Tylenol, Aleve, Advil, Vicodin, or something else?

Dan Szymborski: ibuprofen

Comment From Aaron
Is the hot dog a sandwich?

Dan Szymborski: hell no

Comment From Your Display Name
Ever tried MtG?

Dan Szymborski: Yes, but i mostly played mtg in the 90s

Dan Szymborski: I was a blue-white control guy

Comment From Matt
Thunder and lightening are different sides of the same coin, Dan.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, but I emphasize the speed part rather than the sound part

Comment From Matt
REO Speedwagon was neither fast, nor a wagon. Thoughts?

Dan Szymborski: Their popularity fell off quite fast

Comment From Bernie Sanders
FEEL THE BERN BABY!

Dan Szymborski: Not a question

Comment From Matt
Have you ever been to Narnia?

Dan Szymborski: No. I don’t think I’d fit in a school locker.

Comment From Pogo
Frankfurter and Hamburger or dog and burger?

Dan Szymborski: hamburger and hot dog

Comment From Druidiful
Is pizza a sandwich?

Dan Szymborski: No

Comment From tom
Seriously? What is the argument for a hot dog not being a sandwich? That the bread is connected? Is a hoagie not a sandiwch?!

Dan Szymborski: The hinge is a big deal. Also, forces are applied differently. I dont’ consider subs sandwiches either.

Comment From Matt
Blue-white control guy. Does that make you a smurf?

Dan Szymborski: heh

Comment From Kevin
Punishment for the HS football players that took out the referee?

Dan Szymborski: Expulsion. Even in the event that the racial slur story was true. Violence is unacceptable.

Comment From Pogo
is there a town in germany called KauFleischhoff that would have been a more appropriate home of the hamburger?

Dan Szymborski: heh

Dan Szymborski: I do not believe so

Comment From Bernie Sanders
OK HAVE YOU FELT THE BERN YET???

Dan Szymborski: No

Comment From Guest
Should I rename my car the Oreo Speedwagon when I go to the groceyr stire

Dan Szymborski: Trademark violation?

Dan Szymborski: I actually play with a TF2 player named Oreo Speedwagon

Comment From Adam
what are the top 3 movies you’ve seen in the past 5 years?

Dan Szymborski: Uh Lincoln, Imitation Game and I can’t say best, but I really loved Skyfall

Comment From Guest
Is pizza an open-faced sandwich?

Dan Szymborski: No

Comment From Guest
Is an open-faced sandwich a sandwich?

Dan Szymborski: It is not

Comment From Guest
“sub” is literally short for “submarine sandwich”

Dan Szymborski: I can call something angel hair pasta and that doesn’t make the hair of angels into pasta

Comment From tom
“I don’t consider subs sandwiches”- GET OUT JUST GTFO

Comment From Matt
I once heard someone not from America order a Hot Dog sandwich. It made me chuckle.

Comment From Kevin
Why weren’t there more Rafael Palmeiro and Viagra jokes?

Dan Szymborski: Ther ewere

Comment From ar
The argument is as follows: if someone was out and texted you and said “hey i’m getting sandwiches, do you want one?” and you said “sure” and then they came back with a hot doq, you would be a)surprised, and b) pissed.

Dan Szymborski: Correct

Comment From Druidiful
Do you play WoW at all?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, though at this point mostly at the expansions

Comment From Blue Cat
If a health inspector shut down a food business because they served pork and it offended his Islamic religious beliefs, would the flag eagle people holding up the kentucky lady as a martyr have a crisis of mental conflict?

Dan Szymborski: letter warriors only defend their side

Comment From Mike
is gravy a condiment or a sauce?

Dan Szymborski: sauce

Comment From Kevin
Why do people wear their sunglasses at night?

Dan Szymborski: To increase the chances of car accident

Comment From Matt
On a scale of 1 to 10, what’s your favorite letter?

Dan Szymborski: Seven

Comment From Druidiful
What TV do you watch other than baseball?

Dan Szymborski: football, wrestling, it’s always sunny

Comment From Guest
why would someone ask sexually explicit questions of you in the thunder round? I don’t ask sexually explicit questiosn where I eat.

Dan Szymborski: People are insane

Comment From Kevin
Did you know most people think that Def Leppard is a hearing-impaired large cat?

Dan Szymborski: That was the original drummer

Comment From Permanent Scars
Those are some seriously weak movies, you should watch better movies bro

Dan Szymborski: Sorry

Comment From tom
Is Dan Symborski a sandwich?

Dan Szymborski: Don’t know him

Comment From Kevin
What is the difference between a submarine sandwich, a Hoagie and a Hero?

Dan Szymborski: that submarine is a good name and the others are dumb

Comment From Bruce
The chat box beeps, Szymborski’s mouse clicks. Like a vision he types across the screen as the radio plays. Countless people chatting cause they’re lonely, hey that’s me and I want Dan only. Don’t IP ban me again, I just can’t face myself alone again. OOOOOOOO THUNDER ROUND

Dan Szymborski: You can’t possibly hear my mouse from there

Comment From MSW
A hot dog is a kind of sausage, the bread is irrelevant.

Comment From Matt
Bacon and Chili are the only food in a category of their own ad things that can pass as both meals, and condiments. Agree?

Dan Szymborski: Chili is a stew. You can use it as a condiment but it’s still stew

Comment From spudchukar
Good on you for recognizing the greatness of “The Imitation Game.” And if the MVP in the NL were voted on by the players, I bet Yadier Molina would get a lot of votes.

Comment From Guest
baseball is a tv?

Dan Szymborski: I assume baseball-related programming

Comment From tom
ar, if someone asked you if you wanted a sandwich and you didn’t specify the type, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE UPSET. If someone brought me a tofu sandwich I wouldn’t eat it, but I’d have no right to be angry because I am the idiot who wasn’t specific

Comment From Guest
when does it’s always sunny come back?

Dan Szymborski: I actually thought it was coming back in september!

Comment From ar
feels like they are running out of ideas for brawls… do you have any good ones that haven’t been done yet?

Dan Szymborski: I’d like to see one in which we get the same decks powers as random naxx bosses.

Dan Szymborski: So you could be Heroic Mode Kel Thuzad against Heroic Mode Anub’arak or something

Comment From Kevin
What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?

Dan Szymborski: I’m only one of those. I imagine edits Wikipedia a lot.

Comment From Blue Cat
If you were Terrence Howard, would you publicize the fact that you left a school because you argued with a teacher about if 1 times 1 equaled one, and you thought it didn’t?

Dan Szymborski: Probably not, but I tell dumb stories about myself too

Dan Szymborski: If mean, if you were Dan Szymborski, would you publicize the fact that you ruined a $100 keyboard with gravy?

Comment From marc
Cats names Dexter and Walkter after two TV B.As. Yay or nah?

Dan Szymborski: Walkter?

Comment From marc
Yay or nah on “Better call Saul”?

Dan Szymborski: Yay, but I’m biased because I tend to overlike Bob ODenkirk tghings

Comment From Art Vandelay
If you’re German, sauerkraut is also in the food/condiment category

Dan Szymborski: Sauerkraut is a salad

Comment From mtsw
Expectation created by new Subway ads that the person making my sandwich will be enthusiastic about receiving custom sandwich requests the least realistic thing an ad has expected to believe recently?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Matt
Jack and Coke, hold the coke, or Rum Chatta on the rocks?

Dan Szymborski: I can’t drink much straight-up liquor – i’ve had occasional stomach acid related issues over th years

Comment From MSW
A dog named Barktolo Colon, best idea or bestest idea?

Dan Szymborski: That is a good

Comment From Druidiful
Do you think that Curtis Granderson was being truthful about believing the moon landing was faked?

Dan Szymborski: Well, truthful that he believed it

Comment From Matt
If I were Dam Szymborski, I would not only not admit that I owned a $100 keyboard, but also that I wasted gravy.

Comment From Guest
Craig Finn on a seamless ads, attributed solely as “craig.” what

Dan Szymborski: wait, what?

Comment From marc
whats a good underrated Netflix series?

Dan Szymborski: Honeslty I’d have to look at a list

Comment From Kevin
Does taking the new Jared Subway challenge result in jail time?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think Subway endorses child pornography

Comment From Matt
Curt Schilling, The Dali Llama and Rick Flair go to a bar. What’s the punchline?

Dan Szymborski: They all have an enjoyable dinner?

Comment From Guest
A cat named Clayton Kershawhisker

Comment From Guest
A rabbit named Bryce Hopper

Comment From Guest
A duck named Bill

Comment From Guest
A horse named Rollie Neighlor

Dan Szymborski: OK, that looks like a good time to stop

Dan Szymborski: Thank you all for coming! Hope to see you guys next week!

Dan Szymborski: As a reminder, you can find my work on ESPN.com, chats and projections here at FanGraphs, and DSzymborski on Twitter. ZimSmash on Twitch (though slow during baseball season), DSzymborski on Steam, and Zim#1236 on Blizzard! Or if you don’t like Szymborski avoid all these things! But if you don’t like Szymborski why are you wasting your time here? It’s not like you’re hanging out days early for Sully or Cameron.