As the bubble burst on the high-flying bubble days of the late 90s and early aughts, the world watched some of the greediest, most unsavory corporate overlords act like scoundrels, then get their comeuppance. Few matched the avarice of Tyco International CEO Dennis Kozlowski.

A jury would eventually find Kozlowski and a fellow Tyco executive guilty of swindling $600 million from company coffers. Kozlowski’s most notorious purchase with those looted funds? A $2 million Roman Orgy birthday party for his wife, on the Italian island of Sardinia, complete with the finest food and drink, scantily-clad dancing girls, and an ice sculpture of Michaelangelo’s David…with vodka shooting from David’s frozen penis.

(Seriously, all this, and more, really happened).

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Welcome to the 2011 MLB All-Star draft! Here at FanGraphs, we were so impressed by the cool format of the NHL All-Stars selection that we’ve decided to appoint two captains and choose sides in the same way. Dave Cameron and I will be the captains, with Dave going first, and each captain picking two at a time thereafter, until each team has 25 players (we refuse to pick a bloated 90-man roster, or whatever roster size they’re using this year).

The requirements are that you fill out a 25-man roster. You draft your starters the way you would a typical ballot – every position is specific except outfield, where you can take any combination of outfielders you like. Each team must also select at least 11 pitchers, to mimic real life. We’re using Chase Field as the game’s venue, since that’s where the 2011 All-Star Game is being held. Finally, the idea is that every player (or darn close) should play, same as the real All-Star Game.

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Mike Napoli is underrated. Relief pitchers are inherently overrated. We hold these truths to be (supposedly) self-evident. So why does today’s trade of Napoli for Frank Francisco look just as good for the Jays as it does for the Rangers?

Let’s start with the basics. Both players are slated for arbitration. Francisco has asked for $4.875 million, while Texas countered with $3.5 million. Napoli asked the Angels for $6.1 million, and was offered $5.3 million…before the trade that saddened America. The Rangers will reportedly send less than $1 million to the Jays. So if both players win their arbitration cases, the Jays figure to save something like $2 million.

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Victor Martinez – four years, $50 million. Joaquin Benoit – three years, $16.5 million. Brad Penny – one year, $3 million. It wasn’t Carl Crawford and Adrian Gonzalez. But by bringing in a solid bat, a set-up man coming off a monster season, and a potential bargain of a back-end starter, the Tigers still made more shiny moves to upgrade their roster than many other teams this off-season.

Detroit, meanwhile,  kept its core intact, led by one of the five best hitters in the game in Miguel Cabrera, and (arguably) one of the five best starting pitchers in Justin Verlander. In a division with two solid but still beatable rivals, you’d think Tigers fans should get excited for a possible 2011 playoff run. So why does this roster seem…not quite right?

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Many years ago, when Jacobs Field was shiny and new, I was friendly with this girl from Cleveland. Everyone in her family was a big Indians fan, and Manny Ramirez was just coming into his own as one of the greatest right-handed hitters the game would ever see.

Whenever the Indians were on TV, the whole family would gather around to watch. When Manny would do something particularly amazing, everyone would go nuts. “Manny Ramirez! Manny Ramirez!”, they’d all yell. The family’s King Charles spaniel was your typical cute little lap dog, rarely making noise or bothering anyone. But every time anyone exclaimed “Manny Ramirez!”, the dog had the same reaction: YIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIPYIP

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Previously on Scooby-Doo, Where Are You?, the gang tried to learn the secret of the haunted lagoon, only to run into a veeeery scaaaary surprise. Also, we took a crack at figuring out the Most Valuable Player in Baseball.

As a reminder, here are the ground rules:

Every active player who has played a game in the major leagues is eligible. Every team has the same budget, and the same salary commitments (which is to say, none). Every ballpark has the same neutral dimensions. Leagues and divisions are abolished. We’re assuming that every team magically evaluates every player exactly right, so a sneaky-good player with “hidden value” (say, Daric Barton) isn’t the answer.

Finally (and perhaps most importantly), every player would be a team’s to keep for the rest of his career.

Under those conditions, which player would be most in demand? In other words, who is the most valuable player in baseball, no conditions attached?

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It started with Bill Simmons’ annual NBA Trade Value column for ESPN.com. Dave Cameron picked up the baton for FanGraphs with his MLB Trade Value rankings. Breaking down the top commodities in each sport based on a combination of ability, age and contract status offers fun fodder for debate, and insight into what different teams have with their most valuable assets.

Feh! Too much nuance, I say.

The feeding frenzy already started over Albert Pujols’ potential free agency reminds us how rarely truly elite players hit the open market, and the raging demand that emerges at the slightest hint that a true superstar could become available. So what would happen, I wondered, if every player in baseball was declared a free agent tomorrow? Who would be the most sought-after player in the game?

Here are the ground rules. Every active player who has played a game in the major leagues is eligible. Every team has the same budget, and the same salary commitments (which is to say, none). Every ballpark has the same neutral dimensions. Leagues and divisions are abolished. Finally (and perhaps most importantly), every player would be a team’s to keep for the rest of his career.

Under those conditions, which player would be most in demand? In other words, who is the most valuable player in baseball, no conditions attached?

To find our answer, let’s use some process of elimination. Then tomorrow we’ll break down our top three candidates, and pick a winner.

(Note: We like short(er)-form writing here at FanGraphs, so a few of these may rival Bill James’ infamous “pass” on Jeff Bagwell for brevity and glibosity. That’s what the Comments section is for.)

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Every year, baseball’s intelligentsia settle on a new sleeper team. The ballclub in question is usually young, with a bunch of players coming off strong seasons. Because of those players’ youth, we assume continued progress the next season, even a playoff run.

The A’s have started to crystallize as 2011’s go-to sleeper team. They went from 75 wins to 81 in 2010. They’re armed with a universally-admired, young starting rotation, and have recently upgraded their offense and their bullpen.

Niche blogs have jumped on the bandwagon. Sabermetrically-inclined analysts writing for mainstream sites have done the same. Buster Olney’s on the A’s too (Insider subscription required), profiling Gio Gonzalez as one of the key young stars who could propel Oakland to the postseason this year.

Is everyone doing this wrong?

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When the Brewers traded four young players to Kansas City and snatched away Zack Greinke, the deal triggered two reactions:

1) The Brewers traded for Zack Greinke? The Brewers?!?!
2) Too bad they had to take back Yuniesky Betancourt to seal the deal.

The Betancourt snark was funny, but few people actually figured it would make a big difference. The Brewers had already nabbed one of the most underrated starting pitchers in the game in Shaun Marcum. Now they were adding one of the best pitchers on the planet in Greinke to team with Yovanni Gallardo and a potent lineup that included the likes of Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, Rickie Weeks, Casey McGehee, and Corey Hart. This Brewers team owns enough front-line talent to make a serious run this season. So how much harm could one stone-handed statue of a shortstop possibly cause?

A lot, actually. So much in fact that Betancourt, combined with the rest of a marginal defense, could torpedo a potential run at a championship.

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