Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 11/9/15

Dan Szymborski: Monday: A Time for Chats.

Comment From Ben
Is Billy Burns a reasonable comp for Boog Powell?

Dan Szymborski: Naw, I think Burns is faster and has better baseball skills.

Comment From RotoLando
All right, let’s just get this out right now. Bung-Ho Park. Go on, get the giggling out of your system, and let’s have a mature discussion of topical themes.

Dan Szymborski: Wait, is this a Twins joke? I never promised not to make Twins jokes.

Comment From ronnie
One keeper spot left for next year. Who do you keep, Rendon or Springer?

Dan Szymborski: While it would mostly depend on the rest of my time, I’d probably keep Rendon.

Dan Szymborski: Even though I’d be asking for trouble expecting him to stay healthy!

Comment From Adam
For the Mets assuming that they have dollars to spend but lack the right position players to spend it on, would it make sense to sign Price to a long-term deal and trade away one of their young controllable pitchers for a bat? Seems like they could reallocate dollars from hitting to pitching that way and maximize value.

Dan Szymborski: I guess it could work, but to be honest, I don’t think they have those dollars to spend.

Comment From Bork
So I was thinking about how challenges in Tennis work, with tennis players being able to challenge a call that a ball is in or out, and it’s reviewed. Do you think something will ever be used in baseball for called strikes/balls?

Dan Szymborski: No, I think we’ll eventually just get to robots, as we should.

Comment From Jordan
Hi Dan.
Can you please explain this conman idea that Price will land with the Cubs? I don’t see how they are going to have Lester making over 20/mil a year, Price making over 20/mil a year a soon Arrieta will cost over 20/mil a year. On top of all that they have all those arb cases coming up to players that wont be cheap….I just don’t see it, I could see them making a trade for Salazar or Carasco mind you. Basically do they really have the current and future payroll for such?

Dan Szymborski: I think they do. They’re in an incredibly large market, one that’s starving for success. Hey, look how much Vegas likely made getting Cubs fan suckered into 12-1 World Series championship odds at the start of the season.

Comment From RotoLando
I’m assuming The Rays were forced to take Logan Morrison in order to get Brad Miller. Otherwise, this seems like Luke Scott 2.0.

Dan Szymborski: Logan Morrison is like when you get a great deal on a house but you need to replace the furnace but you already factored in that into the cost of the house which was too good a deal to not get anyway.

Comment From Cornholio
I am The Great Cornholio! I need TP for my Byung-Ho! Oh….sorry.

Dan Szymborski: Ah. That’s a stretch, isn’t it?

Dan Szymborski: I didn’t even seen the joke initially and I’m essentially a 10-year-old with the income of an adult.

Comment From Sam
How does Heyward project over the next 5 years? 10 years?

Dan Szymborski: In 5 years, Jason Heyward is projected to have completed the 2020 season. In 10 years, that figure is likely to be 2025.

Comment From Xolo
How good does Shields need to be this offseason to opt out into next year’s weak FA class?

Dan Szymborski: Given that he’s actually getting up there in years, I don’t think it’s likely he ends up opting out.

Comment From mtsw
Orioles blog Camden Chat had a piece today arguing the Orioles “must sign” Chris Davis or “fans will lose interest.” It’s okay though because swing-and-miss slugging 1B never turn into albatross contracts.

Dan Szymborski: The Orioles are in an awkward position in which they can’t afford to lose Chris Davis but can’t afford to keep him.

Dan Szymborski: I’ve written fairly extensively on this subject – the O’s essentially start the offseason as a team in the 72-74 win range based on the current roster, but already with a $90 million payroll baked into the cake.

Dan Szymborski: So many of the minor leaguers that could plausibly have contributed in 2016 either had massive injury setbacks or just didn’t play all that well, so I’m not sure where the O’s get the wins to not start the season in the “Meh + a dice roll” tier.

Comment From b
who would be a good match for a trevor plouffe trade now?

Dan Szymborski: I’m going to be mean and say Red Sox just because

Comment From BennyIce
Talked to a friend about the possibility of Chris Davis going to Toronto…Boy, I would be afraid for the pitchers to face them if that happens

Comment From Joe
No more beating around the bush Dan. Answer the hard-hitting questions. WHO SIGNS SKIP SCHUMAKER AND FOR HOW MUCH?

Dan Szymborski: A team with some bad ideas for sure. Imagining who it will be ruins the surprise!

Comment From mtsw
If the strikezone was 100% robotic would you still have an umpire stand right behind the catcher, just so the pitcher wouldn’t be thrown off by his absence? (You’d still need an ump for plays at the plate but it doesn’t make sense for him to stand in his usual spot if he’s not calling balls/strikes)

Dan Szymborski: You’d still have the initial check swing evaluations too

Dan Szymborski: No needs to change how everything looks until such day you can get rid of an ump

Comment From Cain Marko
Who is your #1 prospect for next year?

Dan Szymborski: Seager

Comment From RotoLando
Do you subscribe to the theory that a robot future is inevitable? If so, do you worry that our future robot overlords will scour the web for all your past public opinions and decide to exterminate some and reward others? Hail Robonia!

Dan Szymborski: Sure, but I’m not ashamed of my past opinions. I’ve always known that the internet has a long memory. At least my past opinions (and present and future) will just be jerkass stuff, I won’t have people making fun of me because I was upset about Halloween costumes and the dean didn’t give my graham crackers and apple juice and gently stroke my head while they fall asleep to whatever the hell five year olds watch today

Dan Szymborski: I seem to have changed tense a few times there. And I became they at some point.

Comment From Ben
Griffey is making his debut on the HoF ballot this year. Will he be a first-ballot HoFer?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Bork
But robots wont have the personality of COWBOY JOE WEST and Angel Hernendez!!!

Dan Szymborski: You never heard of the T-1000?

Comment From Cornholio
You gotta jump on a good pun team name quickly.

Comment From YouHateMyTeam
Cards need power bad. They missed out on Park and Davis doesn’t seem like a Cards style move…what do they do?

Dan Szymborski: I think they’ll stay efficient and low-key.

Comment From Is there w ZiPS schedule yet
Is there w ZiPS schedule yet?

Dan Szymborski: Not a schedule yet, but they’ll start to pop after thanksgiving as usual

Comment From Bork
Way to brag about your income of an adult, jerkborski.

Dan Szymborski: I said an adult, not a rich adult

Comment From Sam R
Now that the Pirates missed out on Park, see them trading for Lind?

Dan Szymborski: Would be fun, especially if the Brewers are going to go all Acknowledging Reality on us or something

Comment From Brett W
If the Cubs earn an A for off-season transactions, it will be because they successfully…

Dan Szymborski: …made off-season transactions that I felt put them in the tier for the highest evaluation among the MLB teams, based on their off-season transactions.

Comment From mtsw
Often hear that free agent pitchers like Greinke don’t want to play in a hitter’s park like Yankee Stadium. Considering its almost certainly his last contract before retirement, what does he care that his front-line numbers will look worse? Could this really make enough of a difference that he’d pass up a larger contract in order to stay in Dodger Stadium?

Dan Szymborski: They care, everybody cares. I don’t think it’s usually a real factor except for extreme park situations.

Comment From Jordan
Do you see the Jays making any big signings? I mean Zimmermann/Cueto not Price/Grenkiw]e]

Dan Szymborski: I think they’ll rightfully see value in following up from a successful 2015

Comment From Gary
In terms of value (and not positional needs), who says no to something like Machado for Moncada/Devers/Eduardo?

Dan Szymborski: I suspect the Orioles will categorically refuse to consider a Machado trade, even if they find themselves in a situation in which they need to do so.

Comment From b
orioles should take mauer!

Dan Szymborski: Are the Twins throwing in the time machine to enable the O’s to get the Joe Mauer that hit for average?

Comment From JP
% chance the Red Sox open 2016 with an outfield of Betts, JBJ, Castillo?

Dan Szymborski: Pretty good, actually

Comment From Bork
How much would Twins fans riot if they traded Mauer once/if they get Park?

Dan Szymborski: Oh, they’d riot a ton and it would be hilariously entertaining to mock their stupidity.

Comment From Miggy Azalea
Realistically how far off are robot umps?

Dan Szymborski: A ways. MLB.TV succeeded because much of baseball’s retrograde leadership didn’t have their fingers in that pie. Replacing the umpires would involve said leadership being heavily involved

Comment From Jimmy
I’m on board with Dipoto, and excited for what’s to come, but I can’t help but feel like he shot his wad by trading Miller (who seemed like his biggest trade asset) and didn’t get a terribly exciting return. Am I undervaluing Karns, overvaluing Miller, or maybe it was a pretty even trade and sometimes they just aren’t that exciting?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think it was an awful trade, but I’m not enthralled by the return for Miller.

Comment From Christian
Unless I am missing something Logan Morrison is still in his arbitration years, so if the Mariners simply didn’t want him anymore they could just DFA him with no money lost. I’m guessing the Rays are using him as their safety net at 1B and will cut him if a better option materializes.

Dan Szymborski: That’s my guess. LoMo needs to HitMo.

Comment From Danny
When does the bidding for Eric Thames begin?

Dan Szymborski: heh

Comment From Vicente
Pirates need to take advantage of McCutchen prime years and his team friendly contract for the next 3 years, can they tempt the A’s to trade a package of Gray/JReddick for Glasnow/Bell and Polanco?

Dan Szymborski: Eh, I think Glasnow will be contributing in the majors very soon.

Comment From Jordan
Do the O’s wreck pitchers with big promise or are we just seeing a string of bad luck plus Arrieta breaking out? Kind of seems like they have massive turnover in pitching coaches, is this common around the league and if not could this play a part?

Dan Szymborski: There is some bad luck there, I think.

Dan Szymborski: And really, if other teams around baseball saw Arrieta becoming what he has, they’d have crushed a Feldman/Clevenger offer

Comment From WNMNKITFS
If you were a hotdog, and you were starving… would you eat yourself (on the condition that you had to call yourself a sandwich)?

Dan Szymborski: No. Some things just are not done.

Comment From RotoLando
How long does a “blow up the team and start over” rebuild take? Do teams tend to deny the grim reality of a non-contender situation for longer than they should out of fear of the fanbase, or just the length of time to rebuild?

Dan Szymborski: Depends. There a are a lot of variables there

Comment From Brian
Could Justin Masterson be a sneaky FA target for someone looking to upgrade the back end of their bullpen?

Dan Szymborski: Maybe, but I’m cautiously pessimistic

Comment From Bork
I can’t wait for Dan Roborski to be available to take out questions 24/7 when the new robot order takes over.

Dan Szymborski: I would think I’d be one of the last baseball writers to replace – I would think my nerdery and weirdness would make it tricky to emulate exactly

Comment From JBone McGraw
Who do you predict the Mets sign this offseason? I think Dave predicted Ian Desmond but I really can’t see them giving up the money and pick that he’ll cost. Especially with a couple decent SS prospects in the pipeline and Flores looking relatively solid and possessing several years of cost control.

Dan Szymborski: I think they do next-to-nothing. Which, actually, would make this offseason a better one than the last one.

Comment From mtsw
Does Alex Gordon make more sense as a ~$20M/year signing than Chris Davis? Given how weak their pitching staff is, extra good defense seems like it’d yield more than extra dingers.

Dan Szymborski: Arguably yes, but remember Gordon isn’t young either

Comment From Derek
I think robot umps are an awful idea. I understand we want to get the call right, but this is just a damn game. I don’t want baseball to turn into the Jetsons where even the players are robots.

Dan Szymborski: Umpires aren’t the game, they only exist because of a limitation in technology

Dan Szymborski: Might as well argue that vaccines eliminated the magic of the crippling childhood roulette wheel.

Dan Szymborski: Which incidentally, is probably a better argument against vaccines than the ones actually presented.

Dan Szymborski: Strengthen the Szymborski herd.

Comment From mtsw
2016 as JJ Hardy bounceback year: unlikely or impossible?

Dan Szymborski: Tough, but not impossible. I mean it’s encouraging one one end that it was likely more due to the various injuries rather than disappearance of baseball skills, but on the other hand, discouraging in that he’s at an age where injuries aren’t likely to magically go away

Comment From Robert
Do the Angels have one of the more perplexing ways of going about their budget? “Go ahead and spend right up to the luxury tax but not a penny more.” Seems like with this FA class and the fact they have a large amount of money coming off this upcoming season, might be better to bite the bullet now and go over the tax instead of waiting until a weaker class next year

Dan Szymborski: Hey, that’s more thinking than the Angels usually execute.

Comment From Joe
Dylan Bundy shut down with forearm stiffness and is “day to day” in the AFL. No question, just sandess.

Dan Szymborski: I’ve definitely got some sand somewhere about poor Bundy’s injuries.

Comment From mtsw
Does ZIPS have any special adjustment for projecting a guy like Mychal GIvens who was converted to pitcher from another position?

Dan Szymborski: Not for hitters becoming pitchers, no.

Dan Szymborski: It’s *quite* variable

Comment From Bork
Are the Orioles at a place where they should just blow up the team? Machado will just decrease in value while they hold onto him and there’s a very low chance they’ll be competitive in the AL East in 2016/17.

Dan Szymborski: I think they are. But they do not.

Comment From mtsw
Machado and Jones for Panda (Red Sox eat his contract), Bradley, E-Rod, Moncadat. Who says no?

Dan Szymborski: Orioles.

Comment From Joe
Is Mat Latos being undervalued? Dave predicts he’s gonna get 1 year $10 million. His peripherals are still solid and I don’t see any reason why we should expect him to have an ERA two runs worse than his FIP going forward… What am I missing?

Dan Szymborski: I think he’ll get more than that, but there’ sa lot of uncertainty

Comment From Postseason
Minus 2015, why the high regards for Anthopoulos? The Jays have maybe a two year window if what’s left of their SP prospects pan out.

Dan Szymborski: Minus 2015? That’s a bit like the old “Except for that Mrs. Lincoln, did you enjoy the performance?” question.

Comment From Guest
How much money would it take for you to never watch, hear about, or even talk about baseball ever again? A million? Hundred mil? Billion?

Dan Szymborski: Probably more than a million. Well less than a hundred million.

Comment From Matt
If the moon were a piece of pizza, would ya eat it?

Dan Szymborski: Of course. I can’t eat enough moon pizza to affect tides.

Comment From Bork
Jays already called takesbacksie on Eric Thames.

Comment From mtsw
2015 offseason was domianted by fake Mookie Betts trades. Who gets fake-traded the most in 2016?

Dan Szymborski: Matt Harvey

Comment From Trainman
Reading a lot of Desmond to Mets.. I think it’s a bad idea.. Am I crazy for thinking that?

Dan Szymborski: No

Comment From Postseason
Is this chat an AI program?

Dan Szymborski: It would probably move quicker if it did

Comment From Bork
HOW DARE YOU SAY THE METS LAST OFF SEASON WAS BAD. THEY GOT CUDDYER AND hahahah I’m sorry I can’t going.

Comment From Postseason
What are dreams, Dan?

Dan Szymborski: All that we see or seem

Comment From Trainman
Who is the most underrated free agent out there in your eyes?

Dan Szymborski: Possibly Gallardo

Comment From mtsw
Google now has machine learning-based template replies for inbox http://arstechnica.com/gadg… Seems like it’d be pretty easy to re-program this to auto-generate replies to Fangraphs chat questions. Just saying.

Comment From mtsw
If we have robot umps, should they be actual humanoid robots a la “Super Baseball 2020” for neo geo?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah. That way players can still argue with them. Which would be hilarious, watching people futilely argue with a computer. Because THATS WHAT MY INBOX LOOKS LIKE WHEN PEOPLE GET MAD ABOUT ZIPS PROJECTIONS

Comment From Postseason
Polio = balls and strikes, that’s new one.

Dan Szymborski: We still don’t have a vaccine for Joe West

Comment From Postseason
Where can I find a nice used car for less than $10,000?

Dan Szymborski: Private seller? Also 1990.

Comment From kevinthecomic
still don’t understand those who are reluctant to go with robot umpires — ships sailing the high seas have successfully transition from starlight navigation to gps with nary a complaint

Dan Szymborski: You don’t see passengers storming airplanes and going TURN OFF THE AUTOPILOT WITH ITS CORRECTIONS, WE WANT HALF-INSANE HOBBYISTS WEARING WHITE SCARVES AND FUNNY 1910S GOGGLES

Comment From Rick
Do the Braves do anything interesting this offseason?

Dan Szymborski: Interesting probably. But no real 2016 moves I don’t think

Comment From Jordan
Should the Jays make a play for Votto?

Dan Szymborski: That would actually be a lot of fun and I would in fact recommend th is.

Comment From Postseason
Bigger abomination in public : crocs or old school sweatpants with elastic bands around the ankles?

Dan Szymborski: Sweatpants

Comment From Mill Burray
Machado for Lucas Sims, Max Fried, and Braxton Davidson, who says no?

Dan Szymborski: Again, Orioles.

Comment From Ben
In light of the Twins possibly displacing Joe Mauer, which player is the most “untradeable” right now? Not because they’re too good/bad, or are paid too much, but rather because it would be a nightmare for the organization.

Dan Szymborski: Cabrera

Comment From Jason
If you’re the Royals, do you try to sign Gordon and Zobrist or do you just move on?

Dan Szymborski: I try to sign them.

Comment From Merv Throneberry
So Byung-ho Park picks up some of the power responsibilities for the Twins? Quick projection…25 dingers first year?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not going to go that far. Remember, not only is KBO a huge hitters’ league but Park also played in a very small park

Comment From Joe
Is the Presidential battle-tournament settled yet? I’m still not sure how any one could possibly have ever voted against Teddy Roosevelt….

Dan Szymborski: Crap, meant to fire it up today since start of FA means chat population gets back to normal level

Comment From Postseason
Samardzija back to the Cubs on a 1 year deal?

Dan Szymborski: Would be fun actually. I think his best play is taking the QO, though I don’t think it’ll be happen

Comment From Byung-ho Park
Would it be completely ludicrous for the Twins to move Joe Mauer back to C in a platoon situation?

Dan Szymborski: I think it’s a moot point now – it’s not happening.

Comment From RotoLando
Why are cutoff jeans acceptable, but cutoff sweatpants get you kicked out of the supermarket?

Dan Szymborski: The problem is we’re TOO permissive. I want to go to an over-21 only supermarket.

Comment From Bork
Bigger abomination in public: those sweatpants he mentioned or fedoras?

Dan Szymborski: Fedoras are better, but the people wearing them are more punchable

Comment From mtsw
Zobrist to the Orioles make any sense? It’d be kinda like if Ryan Flaherty ate a Mario Bros mushroom and powered up.

Dan Szymborski: Yes, but it would involve ownership being a little more practical than they think they are

Comment From Joe
You’re wrong on Cabrera being the most untradeable Dan. If The Cardinals traded Yadier Molina the city of St. Louis would be lit on fire.

Comment From Bork
It’s pretty much impossible to project KBO players. Kang played to contact so he was easier to predict having success. Park ehhhhhhh not so much.

Dan Szymborski: I think there’s a bit of danger of assuming Kang’s 2015 is his baseline (even without the injury), too

Comment From mtsw
Who among the current candidates for President makes the most formidable contender in battle royale (now that Jim Webb dropped out)?

Dan Szymborski: Martin O’Malley maybe?

Dan Szymborski: And you know Trump’s going to sneak in brass knuckles in that hair

Comment From zipzop
so (I think?) last week I said my girlfriend thinks that Yadi Molina is the best catcher ever and there was a response posted which suggested we don’t know enough about catcher metrics to shoot that down… problem is that she thinks he is the greatest to ever play that position… offense included… and then I look at about 31 WAR

Dan Szymborski: See, this is why I’ve never dated anyone who is into baseball.

Dan Szymborski: I mean what if I’m dating someone and she thinks that Ryan Theriot was a terrific second baseman? There’s NO WAY things can go back to the way they were before I learned that.

Comment From Mill Burray
Should Braves go after Plouffe, as a stop gap till Ruiz/Riley come up?

Dan Szymborski: Meh, I’m not sure *trading* for a stopgap is usually a good idea

Comment From jtt
why did they move mauer all the way down to 1b? They had a massive hole at 3b at the time and he probably could’ve handled it

Dan Szymborski: For one, they thought he’d be able to stay healthy at first

Comment From mtsw
Given the gaping hole in their starting rotation, should the O’s considering stretching out Zach Britton or Brian Matusz and letting them having another go as a starter? Britton is a way different guy than he was in 2011 and Matusz looked surprisingly solid starting in ST last season.

Dan Szymborski: I would, but I don’t think the O’s are that creative

Dan Szymborski: This is a team, remember, even with Hardy crippled and the season essentially *over* still started PAUL JANISH at shortstop more often than Machado.

Comment From mtsw
Kinda hilarious to go back to 2011 and read articles about how Dylan Bundy’s long-tossing throwing training made him impervious to injury.

Dan Szymborski: I’m an O’s fan, I don’t find this hilarious!

Comment From Dave
Is Rusney Castillo capable of .300 with 10 homers and 20 steals?

Comment From mtsw
360-degree video: fad or gimmick?

Dan Szymborski: Sure

Dan Szymborski: wait, why can’t it be both?

Comment From Dave
Is Rusney Castillo capable of .300 with 10 homers and 20 steals?

Comment From Derek
Re: Robot umps: Here’s the flaw in your logic, humans are still going to control the robot umps. It’s like calling up your bank. What would you prefer, having a human answer on the first ring, or going through an automated system? Lets just enjoy being humans and have humans be the judge on balls and strikes.

Dan Szymborski: Balls/strikes isn’t a customer service thing, it’s a DETERMINE WHERE A WHITEISH SPHERE THING CROSSES PENTAGON thing.

Dan Szymborski: That’s like saying “humans are going to perform the heart surgery and humans make the electrocardiogram so why not skip the fancy computer and give a hobo quaaludes to use his penis as a heart-based dowsing rod?”

Comment From RotoLando
Should robot umps be shaped like C-3PO or R2-D2?

Dan Szymborski: R2-D2. C3PO robots would be punched

Comment From Minty
What’re your thoughts on Lindor offensively going forward?

Dan Szymborski: I’m very optimistic given his age.

Comment From Bork
There’s human component to baseball, sure, but a lot of Umpires take it to the next level. You shouldn’t have Umpires giving ‘vets’ a free pass on borderline pitches and then chirping back to players when they get upset. If the Umps were consistently consistent in calling a proper strike zone the argument for the whole human component in baseball argument would be actually have something.

Dan Szymborski: The human component to baseball is the baseball players!

Comment From Bret
Mark Shapiro has already come out and said that he sees the Jays having one more year left in their window. Bautista and Encarnacion will likely be gone after then, but Donaldson, Martin and Tulowitzki are still under contract, plus a bunch of good/useful/cheap parts (Stroman, Travis, Pillar). Is Shapiro wrong?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think he’s necessarily wrong

Dan Szymborski: After 2016, Donaldson will be two years from free agency and will have trade value if the Jays arne’t competing

Dan Szymborski: But he doens’t have to commit to anything now

Comment From Ullu Ka Patta
Park to the Twins? I guess we have to take seriously the reports that Sano is playing OF this winter, because otherwise I don’t know where everyone fits. Either that or Plouffe gets traded I suppose.

Dan Szymborski: Plouffe does get traded, I think

Comment From KP
Syndergaard will win a cy young true or false

Dan Szymborski: False, simply because there are so few Cy Youngs available that pitchers that aren’t kershaws have lower odds of getting one

Comment From anon
Should there be robo umps for all tasks of the game? fair vs foul, safe on base running etc. Is there some aspect of the game that should be allowed to have small chance of human error?

Dan Szymborski: Why? They’re not part of the game. Just like the side effects aren’t part of the desired cure for a medicine.

Dan Szymborski: If someone takes medicine for restless leg syndrome, the chance of IMMINENT BLOODY DEATH (I think that’s what tyhe commercial calls it) isn’t part of the magic of the medicine. It’s part of the limitations of the medicine in return for the cure.

Dan Szymborski: The only purpose of umpiring is to get the call right.

Comment From Philbert
Human umps are more like calling your bank, having a human answer on the first ring, and then that human giving you a rough estimate of approximately how much is in your account.

Dan Szymborski: “Man, why do you have to give such an accurate balance? Where’s the magic of you guys losing $5,000 of my balance somehow?”

Dan Szymborski: “Man, these self-driving cars suck. The magic of some asshole sideswiping me and me crashing into a watermelon truck is gone.”

Dan Szymborski: “Goddamn post office. I remember the days of the early 21st century when the frigging postal service lost the Playstation 3 I ordered in Amazon in Dover Delaware somehow and the tracking left it there for a week until I called Amazon and they had to send me a new one.”

Dan Szymborski: The last one actually happened.

Dan Szymborski: Actually, the first one kind of happened too.

Dan Szymborski: When I bought my current car, I got a cashier’s check for the price of the car from the bank and drove the car home.

Dan Szymborski: Then I call for my balance the next day and someone at the bank had apparently taken the amount out of my bank account TWICE

Dan Szymborski: So I had a negative balance in the 5 digit range. And at that shortage, the bank doesn’t magically grant overdraft and give you a horrible payment penalty – my power bill I had just paid bounced

Dan Szymborski: Still pisses me off. Fucking SunTrust.

Comment From Matt
Some people think the side effects of NyQuill are more useful than the intent of the medicine…

Comment From Joe West
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAD $5000 YESTERDAY WHEN YOU CALLED IN? IM SAYING YOU HAVE $2500 AND THATS THE END OF IT. IF YOU KEEP THIS UP YOU’LL HAVE NOTHING LEFT.

Comment From Christian
I for one can’t wait for the future where the FBI is investigating the Cardinals for hacking into the Astros’s robot umps.

Comment From Joe
Jim Edmonds is on the HOF ballot. Two questions: does he deserve to be in the HOF? And will he even make it to a second ballot?

Dan Szymborski: Absolutely. Not a chance.

Comment From Matt
The resistance to robo umpires proves that “umpires” are a jobs program. The MLB is not supposed to be a jobs program. Its a source of entertainment. ‘Merikuh.

Comment From Joemama
Would the robot umpires be allowed to use steroids?

Dan Szymborski: Are there robot steroids?

Comment From VanExcellent
Do you think Alex Gordon will give the Royals any type of discount?

Dan Szymborski: Some, not much.

Comment From Matt
Do you often call to check on your balance two days in a row? Just checkin’ in? Maybe you should treat your money like a mature adult and let it be, Dan.

Dan Szymborski: When I write a check of that amount I certainly do!

Comment From VanExcellent
Is the end game of all of this to eventually have robot players?

Dan Szymborski: What does that have to do with everything?

Dan Szymborski: There is a human element to the game: the players.

Dan Szymborski: The umpires aren’t a part of the game. They’re essentially a technological component. It’s just that 1880s computer technology was made of people.

Comment From VanExcellent
But robot players would be pretty dang cool

Comment From Sun Trust Customer Care
We’re very sorry you had a bad experience with us. We don’t want you back, though.

Comment From VanExcellent
Who do you see as a ‘surprise’ team that could be in play for guys like Heyward or Price? Giants?

Dan Szymborski: I could see the Giants in on Price, but probably nto Heyward

Comment From Guest
If all PEDs were suddenly allowed, how much would offense grow in the next few years, assuming all other factors remained the same? I think it would be a lot less than most expect.

Dan Szymborski: Doubt very much. Not only would you have questions of their value beyond incremental improvements, but both pitchers and hitters would use htem

Comment From anon
R2D2 would get punted

Dan Szymborski: Remember, he’s got that shock thing.

Comment From VanExcellent
Does Puig for Sonny Gray make any sense for either team in your mind?

Dan Szymborski: Eh, that doesn’t seem to be the greatest fit

Comment From Matt
Robot ump would make the Balls/Strikes hting a lot more accurate, sure. But what about when they start attacking the players? What then, Dan?

Dan Szymborski: Hey, if there’s any chance a robot eats Jonathan Papelbon, don’t you think you have to support that?

Comment From Minty
How much does Carlos Martinez’ injury worry you?

Dan Szymborski: Very much. I’m worried about pitchers all the time.

Dan Szymborski: Pitchers are the “priceless Ming vase set on the edge of the counter next to an angry cat while a webcam is recording” of sports.

Comment From VanExcellent
What do you make of the Dodgers interviewing Gibson? Doesn’t strike most as a “Friedman” type.

Dan Szymborski: I think they’re being nice to a guy who had a small, but significant, role in team history

Comment From Bork
Cy Youngs and individual awards are overrated anyways. Would you rather have 1 player with an outlier season winning a Cy young or a great but not Cy Young pitcher for multiple years?

Dan Szymborski: But really, who was the last pure outlier season Cy Young guy?

Dan Szymborski: Dickey and then you have to go back a ways

Dan Szymborski: And even Dickey had a similar season a couple years before

Comment From anon
Who of the cubs young hitter would you trade for pitching? or would you trade from minors and keep major league intact? or just sign a bunch and no trade?

Dan Szymborski: It really depends on the actual offers. You should never go into trades thinking *that* is the guy I trade and *that* is the guy I don’t.

Comment From Phillies113
If we have robot players and robot umpires, could we, theoretically, plug in a controller and manipulate the on-field action from the comforts of our respective homes?

Dan Szymborski: I would hope so!

Dan Szymborski: It would be sweet if Papelbon was choking Harper and then someone at home could do Ryu’s Shoryuken move on the controller and then his head would pop up and dingoes would come and feast on the remains.

Comment From Matt
Re: Robots eating Papelbon. Touche Dan, Touche.

Dan Szymborski: Or dingoes. Whatever works.

Comment From Bork
Do you worry about us, Dan, do you worry about your Szymborski herd?

Dan Szymborski: There’s a Szymborski herd? This is way too much repsonsibility

Comment From Christian
Not necessarily disagreeing with you but seeing the entire stadium & players turn to the scoreboard to see if the robot ump called the pivotal strike 3 or not.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, but you could equip the robot with cool features for this.

Dan Szymborski: Like a STRIKE THREE FIREWORKS ROCKET

Dan Szymborski: and the louder the crowd in decibels, the BIGGER THE ROCKET IS

Dan Szymborski: Like if the crowd is going insane Royals-2015-fan style, strike three launches an eagle with a trout in one claw and the american flag in another claw and god bless america starts and then aerosmith from before they all their lips got weird is shot out of a heavy metal cannon and starts banging out all the patriotic songs heavy metal style and then the beer copter brings beer for everybody

Comment From Matt
What’s your take rate on comments in a chat? Are we seeing 50% of comments? 25%? 75%?

Dan Szymborski: We’re back to the usual 25% or so. On the slow weeks, we’re as much as 90

Comment From VanExcellent
Would robot players get mad at each other over bat flips though?

Dan Szymborski: Sure.

Comment From RotoLando
Yes to robot umpires, no to Gobot umpires. You gotta draw the line somewhere.

Comment From The Humber Games
Can we also have robot fans who know not to reach into the field of play?

Dan Szymborski: No, but we can have a robot that PUNISHES fans.

Dan Szymborski: Like a blade that travels at the speed of light and removes hands from people that go over the line if the ball is in close proximity

Comment From RotoLando
Would robot umpires be able to eject players and managers?

Dan Szymborski: Yes. Into space.

Comment From BB-8
Each umpire should have his/her own custom robot. Future generations won’t believe there was a time when umpires didn’t have a robot by their side.

Comment From RotoLando
OK, so robot umpires are implemented. Next up, robot PA announcers. Would you rather be introduced by a robo-stadium announcer in the style of Stephen Hawking, or Trans-era Neil Young?

Dan Szymborski: ROBOT MERLE HAGGARD

Dan Szymborski: wait, I did a pirate robot thing

Dan Szymborski: Crap crap, need to find it quickly

Dan Szymborski: Dammit, I did it back when they were going to preserve Bob Sheppard’s voice

Dan Szymborski: http://www.baseballthinkfac…

Dan Szymborski: Wait, I can just upload it! Hold on

Dan Szymborski: If you are at work MUTE YOUR SOUND BECUASE THERE WILL BE SOUND

Dan Szymborski: 10 SECONDS THERE WILL BE SOUDN

Comment From Dave
Could Marte-McCutchen- Polanco be the best outfield in baseball 2016?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Oren
Ryan Goins hit .274/.361/.387 in the second half, with a .343 BABIP, but also did make a noted change in his stance at the plate to try and give himself a chance to be more patient and selective. Probably unlikely that slash line is real for him, but how much of it are you willing to believe in? Could you see him hitting .260/.330/.350 or something? Would be decent for a good defensive SS.

Dan Szymborski: I’d actually like to see what ZiPS thinks first.

Comment From Derek
Look, I have to say, I do understand and to a point agree with you that umpires aren’t a part of the game. But I don’t want every aspect of my life to have to be dictated by a computer. Joe West will never be perfect, but there’s just something so gosh darn cute about his tatrums that make me enjoy baseball. This s all for fun and entertainment. I’d rather live with imperfection with my fellow humans than to always be told right/wrong with a computer.

Dan Szymborski: Then give him a terrible TV show on public access.

:

Comment From RotoLando
And now, to sing our national anthem, please welcome Paulie’s Robot from Rocky III

Dan Szymborski: HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAULIE

Comment From Ben
we’re seeing 100% of the robot-related questions though..ugh

Comment From Old Glory Insurance
And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can’t break free.. because they’re made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don’t cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice.

Comment From Bork
I would be become a season ticket holder if robot umps could punish fans. You have no idea the amount of people at Jays games fighting each other to grab a ball in play in the outfield.

Comment From Dave
Dan.. Better MLb career.. Big Papi or Manny Ramirez?

Dan Szymborski: Still Manny

Comment From Oren
Can you tweet out the Goins projection once you run it? 🙂

Dan Szymborski: I can!

Comment From Bork
I’m glad I started this robot chat with my initial question.

Comment From Jordan
but what do they give up?

Dan Szymborski: I dunno, I thought about it for 15 seconds. It’s hard to tell with the Reds FO reshuffling

Dan Szymborski: OK, let’s finish up with a LIghtning ROund.

Dan Szymborski: A quick one., we’ve been kinda off topic for awhiel.

Dan Szymborski: The rules for the Lightning Round are simple: I *must* answer any question, so long as it is off-topic. The exceptions are explicit things or work-related things, so don’t ask me about Grantland or something

Comment From Matt
Cheesecake, or caked cheese?

Dan Szymborski: Cheescake, I’m not sure what caked cheese is

Comment From Dave
2016 World Series winner?

Dan Szymborski: Yes, there wil be one.

Comment From Matt
The Alaskan Bush People are neither Alaskan, bushes, or people. Thoughts?

Dan Szymborski: We need to develop the technology to turn them into bushes.

Comment From Bork
Are you ever tempted to give an incorrect answer on purpose to a fantasy question just to mess with the person.

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Dave
Tacos or sushi?

Dan Szymborski: Tacos at the moment.

Dan Szymborski: I had some sushi that agreed with me very poorly last year and I haven’t craved sushi since

Comment From RotoLando
How far can you go in adding things to a grilled cheese sandwich before it is no longer a grilled cheese sandwich?

Dan Szymborski: Very quickly. The basic concept of a grilled cheese sandwich is the dramatic tension of the crispy fried bread and the non-newtonian cheese. Once you lose that basic interplay, it’s not a grilled cheese

Comment From RotoLando
Is the saguaro the Cadillac of cacti?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not calling anything the cadillac of cacti becuase it will involve me getting injured somehow. I stay away from cacti

Comment From Bret
Which baseball player do you think would have the easiest time convincing you to vote for them for President of the USA?

Dan Szymborski: Derek Jeter. Those calming eyes.

Comment From billg
If quizzes are quizzical what are tests?

Dan Szymborski: Testicles, of course.

Comment From Dave
Favorite sport besides baseball?

Dan Szymborski: Football

Comment From Bork
On the topic of bushes, rose bushes are the worst.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t like any flowers because they require gardening effort.

Comment From Art Vandelay
Once you add a protein, it’s not a grilled cheeses

Comment From Matt
I’m in IL and speak English. The BCBS ad at the top of my page is for TX and in Spanish. Is that your fault?

Dan Szymborski: No. You should be required to learn any language that Google makes you learn.

Comment From Zonk
It’s not about the money, is it?

Dan Szymborski: It always is.

Comment From RotoLando
Bears or Chargers tonight?

Dan Szymborski: Chargers.

Comment From Bork
yo you know your sandwich facts

Dan Szymborski: I do.

Comment From Christian
Did you see anything interesting come out of BlizzCon? I was hoping for some big cool announcement, like at least a d3 expansion pack or something.

Dan Szymborski: The thing is a lot of the stuff we saw was stuff we knew was coming.

Dan Szymborski: Glad Overwatch is coming soon. I want to play it, not watch popular streamers given beta keys play it.

Dan Szymborski: We knew a lot of the WOW Legion stuff

Dan Szymborski: And while the Hearthstone adventure should be fun, I wanted them to unveil the new Mysterious Challenger that DIDNT DRAW AND PLAY FIVE SECRETS.

Comment From Julio Pepper
Let’s try this empirically: grilled cheese + bacon, grilled cheese?

Dan Szymborski: It’s not grilled cheese. It may be good, but it’s not grilled cheese.

Comment From Mike
Are you married

Dan Szymborski: I am not.

Comment From Matt
Phil Hartman as UnFrozen Caveman Lawyer: Good Caveman lawyer, or the BEST Caveman lawyers?

Dan Szymborski: Best of course.

Comment From Luke Skywalker
Lightsaber to your face, you must pick one: I am a) hiding out like Obi-wan was b) hiding out on Dagobah living in Yoda’s old hut c) part of the dark side d) living with Han and Leia

Dan Szymborski: Living on the couch and making awkward situations.

Comment From RotoLando
I would like to commend you for wrangling the flash flood of gibberish and nonsense a simple robot umpire question set off.

Comment From Mike
Do you like Trump?

Dan Szymborski: The candidate, no, the Twitch streamer, yes.

Dan Szymborski: Now, if Trump weren’t actually running for president and was just being an ass and trolling, I think it’d like him more

Comment From Bork
Max Scherzer has the opposite effect that Jeter does. Those eyes man.

Dan Szymborski: His eyes suggest indecision. Even god couldn’t decide. But still, I love the Silver Hammer.

Comment From Q-Ball
Do baseball fans spend 95% of their disposable income on boner pills, pickup trucks, and daily fantasy? Because the adds shown during the playoffs were in that proportion.

Dan Szymborski: Correct.

Comment From Ullu Ka Patta
Yeah, the contextual ads stink. I keep getting ads for t-shirts with snarky messages on them, even though I don’t wear clothes.

Comment From Matt
Re grilled cheese sandwiches. It depends on what is the modifier and what is the noun. Is it a grilled cheese-sandwich? Or a grilled-cheese sandwich? If the latter, then it has been misnamed for some time.

Dan Szymborski: no hyphen.

Dan Szymborski: Grilled cheese sandwiches walk that line of ambiguity, like every great movie hero.

Comment From Mike
Favorite movie?

Dan Szymborski: Princess Bride

Dan Szymborski: Though my answer will vary depending on my mood in any given day

Comment From Mike
Straight outta _________?

Dan Szymborski: Well, for me, I was Straight Outta Towson

Comment From Bork
As someone who has seen Overwatch for about 2 minutes…is it pretty much TF2 with more?

Dan Szymborski: To an extent, but it’s not class based so much as individual hero based, if that makes sense.

Comment From Bork
Do you like Trump’s singing?

Dan Szymborski: Neither Trump’s singing

Comment From Larry
Have you ever had Heady Topper?

Dan Szymborski: Never even met her.

Dan Szymborski: More seriously, I have no tried it. Though I imagine I would enjoy it

Dan Szymborski: I’m a sucker for an IPA

Dan Szymborski: If you called broccoli an IPA, I might actually try it and then punch you

Comment From J0seph
Best dip? Hummus? Queso? Guac?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure I would call hummus a dip

Comment From RotoLando
Would you lend your name to Dan Szymborski brand breakaway sweatpants?

Dan Szymborski: Sure.

Comment From Mike
Barcelona or Madrid? Clasico coming up soon!

Dan Szymborski: I have no association football knowledge.

Comment From Matt
T or F: Grilled Cheese >= Robot Umps

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Larry
Anybody want a peanut?

Dan Szymborski: Someone does, I’m sure. There are a lot of people.

Comment From mapsamountainrange
Favorite Director?

Dan Szymborski: Kubrick

Comment From Cain Marko
Is the weather trippy or is it the way we interpret it that is indeed trippy?

Dan Szymborski: The latter

Comment From L. Scott
Odds of Pete Rose and Alex Rodriguez being the future of Fox baseball broadcasting?

Dan Szymborski: I hope 100%

Comment From RotoLando
How about a nice game of chess?

Dan Szymborski: Nah

Comment From Mike
Favorite international city?

Dan Szymborski: Vienna

Comment From RotoLando
Do you get mean or weird when you drink gin? Third option: hives.

Dan Szymborski: I do not get mean or weird.

Dan Szymborski: Well, weirder than I typically am.

Comment From Oscar
To the tune of the Oscar Mayer bologna song: “Dan Szymborski is my best friend, it’s S, Z, Y, M, B, O, R, S, K, I, Dan Symborski chats on Monday’s on F, A, N, G, R, A, P, H, S. I like to read it every day and if you ask me why I say, ’cause Dan Szymborski and Fangraphs has a way with B, A, S, E, B, A, L, L, W, O, R, D, S.” I think my song needs work.

Comment From Larry
Its phenomenal. Will send you one if you would like. Only cost you a ZiPS projection or two..

Dan Szymborski: Ah, the great dilemma of man. Refuse to sell out or miss out on beer?

Comment From Matt
If you lent your name to breakway sweats, would you require they had zippers instead of buttons and call them the Dan Szymborski ZiPS?

Dan Szymborski: They would be called Szyppers.

:

Comment From Bork
How many people are usually in these chats at one time?

Dan Szymborski: Between 200 and 1500

Comment From RotoLando
Do you ever go an entire day without going outside? Not including bad weather days

Dan Szymborski: Not typically. Now there are certainly days I don’t go out much

Comment From Mike
Favorite tavern brawl?

Dan Szymborski: Last week’s. Those Randomonium was more fun to play multiple times

Comment From Bork
Pete Rose is like an old uncle who hasn’t watched baseball since the 80’s and is critical of any in game decision he doesn’t understand, commenting that it’s JUST NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE about every 5 minutes.

Dan Szymborski: But entertaining

Comment From Matt
Wait. The people are….IN the chats?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, at least 18% of you are not figments of my imagination

Comment From Stu
Do you have any phobias

Dan Szymborski: Heights

Comment From Minty
Who would win in a fight, Lemy or God?

Dan Szymborski: I’m sure gods win all fights because they set the rules of the Calvinball we call existence.

Comment From Christian
Have you ever used vacation to play a game at launch?

Dan Szymborski: I’ve never really used “vacation days” in my life.

Dan Szymborski: So no

Comment From Bork
Cat update plz.

Dan Szymborski: Galileo is on his pillow on a desk to my left, looking at my laptop, Pandora is staring at something that I can’t see. Possibly at Reagan or Mercutio, of whom I currently know the location of neither.

Comment From Matt
Calvinball. Great name drop, Dan.

Comment From Minty
Trick question, Lemy is God. In Airheads, that’s how they tricked the undercover cop.

Dan Szymborski: And on that note, time to end the chat!

Dan Szymborski: Thanks for joining me everyone!

Dan Szymborski: As the usual reminder, you can read my work at ESPN.com, chats and projections on FanGraphs, DSzymborski on Twitter. And the ZiPS Top 25 free agents comes out this week!

Comment From Matt
If Mat Latos has Cat Latos, is the next logical step for Garrett Jones to buy a ferret?

Dan Szymborski: Seems reasonable.

Comment From Steve
Your favorite Brady (excluding Tom, but including Alice?

Dan Szymborski: Matthew Brady, who captured the awesome facial hair of Civil War-era people.