Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 1/26/17

Dan Szymborski: Now, fill up the glasses with treacle and ink and anything else that’s pleasant to drink!

Dan Szymborski: The chat has started.

RotoLando: Save us, Dan, from the worthless wasteland Twitter has become…. tell us about your cats.

Dan Szymborski: I think they’re all sleeping. It’s 2 PM, so Galileo should be appearing any minute to sit on my lap and start buttering me up for dinner.

Ryan: Greg Holland to the Rockies. Good or bad for the Rockies? Good or bad for Greg Holland?

Dan Szymborski: I’m optimistic. I’m not sure it’s the best environment to rehab your value, but he’ll probably help the Rockies.

Dan Szymborski: The Rockies are tricky – the players aren’t really that bad and you’d ideally think they had a really bright future. I just have little faith in the front office.

Roadhog: Rosales is better than Lowrie, yes? Can the A’s trade Jed! or is he just getting cut?

Dan Szymborski: I’d say Rosales is a bit better at this point in all likelihood.

Dan Szymborski: I can’t imagine he gets much in a trade.

CarrotJuice: Is Brian Kenny a sabermetrician? I sometimes can’t tell…

Dan Szymborski: It depends on semantics.

Dan Szymborski: Is a sabermetrician then one who *calculates* the numbers and/or designs them.

Dan Szymborski: Or is a sabermetrician also anyone who uses them heavily.

Sandy Kazmir: Dannnn! Unlike these ingrates I just want to know how you’re doing, buddy.

Dan Szymborski: Fine as far as I can tell. I do need to get a haircut.

Dan Szymborski: Will probably get one tomorrow.

Dan Szymborski: I’m speaking at my high school next week and I don’t want to look like fat Beethoven.

Quincy from Alaska: Odds Royals sign one of the following to DH: Brandon Moss, Chris Carter, Pedro Alvarez

Dan Szymborski: Maybe 2-1 against?

Dan: Whoo. This is finally up. I was afraid it was neglected again as part of Cistulli’s extended heel arch.

Dan: I can’t quit you.

Frank: Can Danny Duffy be a Cy Young contender?

Dan Szymborski: Yes, but not the favorite.

CarrotJuice: Will you join me in seeking retribution against Carson Cistullli?

Dan Szymborski: Always.

Brad: How well do you do in fantasy baseball and do you mostly rely on zips to do your fantasy baseball projections or do you adjust it manually based on what zips doesn’t know? Thanks.

Dan Szymborski: I do fairly well. I use projections as a base and make my own judgments after that.

Skip: Digital Dandy personal question- Favorite minor league hat? Favorite hat that you own?

Dan Szymborski: My favorite minor league hat was the Butte Copper Kings hat.

Dan Szymborski: It looks like a prime Brian Blessed about to beat the crap outta someone.

Dan Szymborski: My favorite hat is my old black porkpie which is my drinking hat.

Devil Ray J. Johnson: Sad week for the Royals. How does it work on the business side when a tragedy like this happens? Do agents and other teams stand down on business with the organization until someone tells them it is ready to move forward again?

Dan Szymborski: Honestly, I’m not sure if there’s a playbook for this kind of thing.

Bitterness Incarnate: Any ideas why the Dodgers can’t get an ASG? 7 year longer drought than the next longest

Dan Szymborski: No idea.

Dan: Asst GM Avg Salary, if you had to guess??

Dan Szymborski: I’ve never asked because it’s a bit gauche, but I’d guess in the 100-125K range.

Pirate Fishing: With Glasnow slipping a bit w/prospect rankers, and Josh Bell having a lot of the “DH-only” talk start to stick to him, should the Pirates ramp up efforts to package both as part of a bigger deal for other needs (i.e. a Quintana), before Opening Day?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure I’d want to trade *both* as part of the package.

Profar for the course: Why is Profar still in Texas? No market value? Daniels asking for too much? Texas still believes he has a future/position to play?

Dan Szymborski: I think the Rangers still want to see what they have in him.

CarrotJuice:

Devil Ray J. Johnson: Assuming Royals do not have the money to sign Hammels, what is their best move to bolster the rotation? Sign the best starter who will take $2 million? Give Strahm a chance to start? Trade someone like Cuthbert for a 5th starter type?

Dan Szymborski: If you can’t sign Hammel, the guy who wants less than him is going to be pretty bad.

Dan Szymborski: Might as well through stuff at the wall.

Slamboni: Who do you like more in terms of future value at catcher: Zack Collins or Chance Sisco?

Dan Szymborski: Sisco.

Dan Szymborski: Chance Sisko is Benjamin Sisko’s degenerate brother that gambles latinum in an episode of DS9 that I just imagined.

Jeb: Can you share your ZiPS projection for Nick Markakis….had he been a pitcher?

Dan Szymborski: All Markakis questions are to be forwarded to Travis Sawchik.

Dae ho free: More likely: Felix bounce back or gallardo bounceback

Dan Szymborski: Felix.

brecrew: Do you share Sullivan’s optimism in Keone Broxton? Can we expect league-average bat?

Dan Szymborski: I’m cautiously optimistic.

Nick: If Todd Frazier does get traded befoer the season starts, where are the most likely landing spots?

Dan Szymborski: I think it’s now more likely he gets traded in-season.

Devil Ray J. Johnson: Did the Rays just get significantly more interesting, especially if they pick up one of the cheap DH types still left?

Dan Szymborski: They’re interesting, but will need some help.

syjjborski: Is this the year Carlos Rodon breaks out? I’m thinking 200 IP, 200K, sub-3.50 ERA with periperals to match.

Dan Szymborski: It ‘s very possible, I’m a fan.

Dae ho free: Jerry dipoto seems to seriously buy into Dan VogelBach as the primary 1b for years to come. How productive do you really think he will be?

Dan Szymborski: I think he’ll be OK – he doesn’t have much defensive value, so he really needs to hit.

Dan Szymborski: But if he doesn’t work out, the M’s aren’t really tied up on him.

jake: Why do the Orioles insist on platooning Kim? He didn’t have huge platoon splits in Korea, and Joey Rickard is absolutely awful.

Dan Szymborski: Joey Rickard should get a Vegas show as a hypnotist – he’s actually convinced a depressingly large number of people that he’s a major leaguer.

CarrotJuice: I’d like to thank my doctor for getting the flu, so he had to cancel my checkup today, and thus I can partake in this chat.

Dan Szymborski: My pathogens are working.

Devil Ray J. Johnson: Do you have any confidence that Alex Cobb bounces back?

Dan Szymborski: Some, I’m always more optimistic about an elbow.

Dan Szymborski: Oh, and Galileo just arrived. 2:16 is kinda late for him, he’s usually within 10 minutes of 2.

Donatello: Bossa Nova!

RotoLando: If you got a running start, how many people do you think you could “Stooge slap” in a line, before losing momentum?

Dan Szymborski: Not sure. I’m actually a surprisingly good runner for a fat guy and I think I can power through a good number of slaps.

Dan: What do you think the current level of talent in the Serie Nacional is? Are large error bars, and the short seasons a reason to not project any defectors that aren’t certain to make AAA/MLB during the season?

Dan Szymborski: I get a high-A league with a TON of variance.

Dan Szymborski: It looks a lot like an A-ball league that has a bunch of star major leaguers that got stuck th ere.

Dan Szymborski: Which I guess is true in a sense.

San Diego John: Have any of you analytics writers been offered jobs from MLB teams?

Dan Szymborski: Lot of people get offered jobs, I only know what has to do with me.

Dan Szymborski: I made my decision to work in media a while ago, I have little interest in leaving for a team job.

Dan Szymborski: Except for data selling, so long as I express no advisory opinions of my own on any subject.

Dan Szymborski: (Conflict of interest and all that)

ChiSox2020: Quintana trade seems dead for now. What should be the White Sox next move?

Dan Szymborski: Making them not dead.

Dan Szymborski: Waiting for deadline is a fool’s errand. When you have a star pitcher at the top of his game and healthy, the average future expectation is *always* worse.

A Tribe Called Kipnis: Cleveland seems to be close to set. Aside from maybe another lefty reliever, what little move could they make to bolster their chances?

Dan Szymborski: Nothing major left.

guitar_davey: The Blue Jays desperately need another lefty in that pen. Who do you think is the most likely option? Blevins, Logan, Wood, or a trade for somebody like Tony Watson? Thanks! Love the chats.

Dan Szymborski: I suspect Logan has the best shot – the team’s expressed some interest in him at various times in the last year or so.

Fred: Best adjective to describe Matt Kemp’s defense?

Dan Szymborski: unembiggening

Mike: Who do you predict wins the Royal Rumble on Sunday?

Dan Szymborski: Randy Orton

CarrotJuice: Yesterday I realized the Rays had 13(!!!) first round picks from 2010-2011. Only 3 made it to the majors, and only Snell has had even the slightest amount success or projects to be anything going forward. Is that an historically bad draft record?

Dan Szymborski: Not sure it’s historical — would have to look at it — but someof their problems in recent years are due to the lesser performance of their draft treadmill

Jim: Whats with Colorado. First, a Desmond acquisition to play first base (questionable acquisition), now Holland, (as a FG article even questioned), trying to rebuild pitching reputation … of all places, in Colorado?! Whats in the water up there that causes these questionable decisions ? (not just the team, but free agents!!)

Dan Szymborski: I think the Rockie Rot comes from the top.

Dan Szymborski: I liked Bridich interview recently where he said (and I’m paraphrasing) that planning is good but sometimes you have to have common sense.

marklxndr:

Dan Szymborski:

$11 Worth of Taco Bell: How many games back of a playoff spot do the Royals need to be on July 25 to commence the sell off?

Dan Szymborski: 8

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, and I’m pulling that out of my butt.

Mark: Is Mychal Givens closing in Baltimore come 2018?

Dan Szymborski: No, Britton’s not a FA until after 2018 and I’m not sure the O’s trade him before FA.

derewere: What the hell is behind the Gsellman hype?

Dan Szymborski: He did pitch well last year, but I think some of that is the Shane Greene Trap.

Dan Szymborski: Though I like him better I did Greene back then.

CarrotJuice: Re: Kenny: I was asking as someone who uses them heavily and correctly. He indicated recently that Scherzer was not a top 5 MLB SP, but Lester and Bumgarner were, because they “give up fewer runs.”

Dan Szymborski: Kenny’s writing for a general audience. I tone down stuff too.

Gopherballs: I got a 2 for 1 coupon for Sports Cuts. I’ll share but you have to pick me up.

Dan Szymborski: Are you near me?

Fred: Let’s say that for every pound Matt Kemp loses this off-season, he makes one additional play in the field that he otherwise would not have made. How many pounds does Matt Kemp need to lose to be a league-average player, overall (considering offense, defense, and baserunning)?

Dan Szymborski: About 22?

Dan: wear Louise Belcher’s cap and you can be a “cat beethoven.”

Mike: What do you see the Cubs getting out of Brett Anderson this year? Seems like an incredibly low risk/high reward move for them, but at the same time, they could use more reliable 5th starter type guys, no?

Dan Szymborski: I could seem him being a swing guy part of the time, on the DL the other 4 months.

Gopherballs: Without revealing any trade secrets, how is ZiPS generally incorporating Stat Cast information?

Dan Szymborski: A lot of the pure statcast stuff, I’m getting a handle on

Dan: Would Cistulli’s promos be delivered in the form of Iowa Writers Workshop style blank verse poems?

Big Game: My friends and I often discuss who is the best looking MLB player. I say Cole Hamels. Who gets your vote, Dan?

Dan Szymborski: Bartolo Colon of course.

Fred: ZiPS likes Jose De Leon less than Steamer. Any idea why?

Dan Szymborski: No. People always ask these types of questions but I don’t run Steamer so I can’t contrast approaches.

Dan Szymborski: It’s like asking me “Why do you like yogurt more than Gustav Mahler?” I don’t know him, I’m not him, and he died 65 years before I was born so without knowledge of his reasoning, I would only know my increased love of yogurt, not the underlying causes that would lead to him liking it less than I do.

Fred: If Nick Markakis draws power from his beard like Samson did from his hair, how long would he need to grow his beard to hit 25 HRs this year?

Dan Szymborski: At least 0.85 ZZTop

greg: Looking at Dan Straily’s numbers last year, BR gave him 4.3 WAR, while FG had him at 1.2. Is this 3 win difference due entirely to the 1.12 difference between his ERA and FIP? Kind of striking.

Dan Szymborski: Mostly. FG starts with FIP, BR doesn’t

RotoLando: Did you look like fat Beethoven in highs school? Consistency is an underrated virtue, and kids need to know that.

Dan Szymborski: Chubby Beethoven.

Dan Szymborski: I doubt the kids will know what I looked like 20 years ago though.

Dan Szymborski: Only a single teacher I had in four years remains.

Dan Szymborski: And one of the math teachers was a year behind me in high school.

Devil Ray J. Johnson: Glad I’m not the only one with a drinking hat, but I bet yours does not have feathers.

Dan Szymborski: It does not

Chachi: David Phelps started 5 games last year. 19/17/12 the three years before. Why isn’t he projected to start any games in ZiPS for 2017? My Diamond Mind rotation was banking on him in the back end…

Dan Szymborski: With players with clear, likely roles in the MLB, I’m more aggressive at telling ZiPS to consider them a full-time starter or reliever.

ChiSox2020: How many people in these chats do you think are at work?

Dan Szymborski: All I hope

CarrotJuice: Is Chass’s insistence that his blog is not a blog actually actually a high concept tribute to Magritte? If you go under the working theory that he’s a surrealist, then many of his actions make sense.

Dan Szymborski: High concept for Murray Chass involves asking his caretaker if he can watch reruns of F-Troop on the big television upstairs.

Bern: Will the Expos ever return, in your opinion?

Dan Szymborski: Yes. Never’s a long time.

CarrotJuice: True or False: The Rockies will use Holland as a first basement and Desmond as a RP.

RotoLando: Whose name do you misspell most often?

Dan Szymborski: Various Zack/Zach players.

Dan Szymborski: They’re distributed too much so you can’t just remember the outliers.

Dan Szymborski: Like when I learned Domonic for Domonic Brown, that was easy, because he was the Domonic.

Dan Szymborski: Or Laynce Nix.

Dan Szymborski: So far this year, I’ve projected 10 Zacks and 26 Zachs.

Dan Szymborski: So there are more Zachs, but Zack isn’t a rarity.

Andrew: Where is the JD Martinez love?

Dan Szymborski: Love is all around us.

Dan: If Matt Manning has the same stats at Low-High A as he did in the rookie league this year, would he then get a Kopech-ian projection for 2018?

Dan Szymborski: Well, no, because that’s like 25 innings.

Coppy: Am I ever going to trade for hitting? Or do I just ride this train and bank on my low minor hitting prospects?

Dan Szymborski: You have Kemp AND Markakis. Hitting is set.

Devil Ray J. Johnson: Is the A’s plan “let’s collect as many 1.2 WAR players as possible and try to maximize playing time efficiency”?

Dan Szymborski: I gave up figuring it out.

Dan Szymborski: They seem to be trying to pick up flippable guys.

Dan Szymborski: But people overrate how many guys actually get flipped.

Dan Szymborski: Last season, teams that finished below .500 had 26 guys signed the previous winter to one-year MLB contracts. only 7 were traded.

Dan Szymborski: And only 3 of the 7 guys fetched someone that was then ranked in their top 30 by MLB.com

Dan Szymborski: (Hill fetched their current 3, 10, 15, Kelly Johnson 24, and Fernando Rodney 8)

Dan Szymborski: They year before, only 2 of the 18 were flipped (Cotts, Gomes) and neither fetched significant prospectage.

Dan: Galileo 2:16 says “Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow”

Manuel Margot: Am I a top 50 outfielder this year?

Dan Szymborski: I think it’s very possible.

Rufus T. Firefly: Have you ever considered becoming a nudist?

Dan Szymborski: Considered and summarily rejected.

Devil Ray J. Johnson: Is “Markakis” Greek for “Baba booey”?

Fred: What’s crazier, Carl Everett denying the existence of dinosaurs or our President’s claims about voter fraud and the size of his Inauguration Day crowd?

Dan Szymborski: I stay out of politics stuff.

Dan Szymborski: So don’t ask me.

Dan Szymborski: Though I’d love Carl Everett to meet Darwin Barney.

Not jeff sullivan: Can Paxton have an outside shot at the cy young?

Dan Szymborski: Quite outside.

britishcub: Are any of the players big gamers that you know of?

Dan Szymborski: Many are, though I don’t feel comfortable saying their names unless they’re public with it.

Dan Szymborski: Like Trevor May is a big gamer.

Henry: Who is better this year Mitch Haniger or Manuel Margot?

Dan Szymborski: If given a full job, I think Margot

CarrotJuice: Should the Cubs be concerned about their lack of pitching depth? Their 7th starter on the depth chart is, uh, Aaron Brooks, I guess.

Dan Szymborski: Yes, actually.

Dan Szymborski: The Cubs are not immune to injuries and if they hit the rotation, I think that’s one of the scenarios that really sees them disappoint

Dan Szymborski: I think they’d actually survive a loss of Bryant or Rizzo for a year better than a starting pitcher.

What The?: Where did my question go?!?!?!

Dan Szymborski: I get a bazillion questions, I can typically only answer about a third.

Dan Szymborski Sentient Email: Did you intend to renew your online Cat Fancy subscription at the Premium instead of Platinum level?

John: Jabari Blash and Kyle Blanks should have been tag team partners. Blanks-n-Blash

Dan Szymborski Sentient Email: Did you forget that your invitation to the Ricky Gervais Fan Club is waiting for you?

Stan: Better long term Franco or Jake Lamb at 3b?

Dan Szymborski: Franco still has more upside, I think

Andrew: You’re a day late!

Dan Szymborski: Carson forgot to set me up! Which is fine, I forgot I had chat last week.

Dan Szymborski: I’ve been doing Monday Noon for several years so it’ takes time to get used to it

Mike: Will you try Taco Bell’s new Naked Chicken Chalupa? Something about a fried chicken shell for a chalupa fascinates me.

Dan Szymborski: No, I live in a town with an actual taco place that’s good.

Matt: Dan! I missed you.

Dan Szymborski: It’s only been 8 days.

Dan Szymborski Sentient Email: I swear to God if you do not turn off your LinkedIn notifications setting, I will go HAL 9000 on you

Dan Szymborski: I’m awaiting approval for like 80 people.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t check my linkedin much.

Dan Szymborski: The truth is that national sports journalism isn’t *that* big a world.

Dan Szymborski: And since I’ve been around for awhile, I know most people anyway, so LinkedIn doesn’t have quite as much networking value.

Boo Radley: Is Gary Sanchez projected as a top-5 MLB catcher this season?

Dan Szymborski: Looks like it.

Gopherballs: That was not part of the deal

Matt: At the risk of sounding heartless – let’s say Ventura had a decently sizable contract, and the tragedy happened in June. How would that work against the teams Lux Tax?

Dan Szymborski: I *think* it depends on whether they have to pay it out or not.

Boo Radley: Which teams do you see as having their window of opportunity closing post-2017?

Dan Szymborski: KC

Dan Szymborski: I think Detroit’s at the end of the rope.

Dan Szymborski: O’s may be soon.

Thr33Rings!: Buster Posey is the best looking but Pence has the best body.

Thr33Rings!: If Buster Posey becomes a full time 1b does he become a top 5 1b in baseball immediately?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think so. I have him projected at an OPS+ that would put him somewhere around 7th. So it dpeends on how much it improves his hitting and how good he is defensively full time

Sgt. Slaughter: Who would you rather have in your corner, The Big Boss Man or Sgt. Slaughter?

Dan Szymborski: Sgt. Slaughter. First, he’s alive. And second, he can bring in the GI Joe characters to help.

Dan Szymborski: Big Boss Man can bring in Akeem, but Sgt. Slaughter knows Snake Eyes and Flint

Sandy Kazmir: Would you rather have Logan Forsythe and Brock Stewart or just Brian Dozier?

Dan Szymborski: I think Forsythe and Stewart, but I don’t think it’s a slam dunk

Dave: JP Crawford or Amed Rosario?

Dan Szymborski: Crawford

Jeb: Did you like Akira?

Dan Szymborski: TETSUO!!!!!!!!!!

Outfield Fly Rule: What are the odds we can move Matt Kemp for anything at all? That contract scares me…

Dan Szymborski: I think he’s still slightly movable to an AL team.

britishcub: i’m not at work i’m playing mass effect 3…in preparation for andromeda

Preston: Leody Taveras came in at #35 in KLaw’s top 100 prospects. Impressive for someone that young to land so high on the list. I’m curious to know your thoughts on him and his projections?

Dan Szymborski: Taveras comes lower in ZiPS.

Dan Szymborski: The ZiPS Top 100 prospects comes out tomorrow!

Henry: I am not at work, however I might be the only one in the chat who is currently in a college class. Your chat is far more interesting than a Business Law Lecture.

Dan Szymborski: I will only answer questions that come in between now and the next 5 minutes if they’re about the Uniform Commercial Code.

Dan Szymborski: So if it’s time-stamped as coming in between 2:58-3:03, it has to be on that subject.

Dan Szymborski: Or anything else business law.

Matt: If given the choice between yogurt and Gustav Mahler, I pick Mahler, Dan.

Dan Szymborski: I didn’t say yogurt was better than Mahler, I said I like yogurt more than Mahler did. Probably.

DamnFinePie: Who do you think Trump’s favorite MLB player is?

Dan Szymborski: Kershaw is the highest paid. Plus his friends look like they’d wear Trump ties.

Jeb: Bern: If you look under your bed, you will see that they already have

CarrotJuice: Re: ZiPS v Steamer on De Leon. ZiPS likes De Leon a little more in K/9 and BB/9 more than Steamer. But Steamer projects De Leon to have a HR/9 rate slightly *lower* than the MLB average, while ZiPS projects it to be a bit above average. Considering one of the biggest knocks on De Leon is “he gives up too many HR” I think it’s fare to take ZiPS in this case.

Dan Szymborski: HOW MUCH IS THE FARE?

Matt: At the risk of bringing your livelihood to a screeching halt, I must ask you – is there any specific area that you think ZiPS has trouble correctly quantifying? Put another way – what is ZiPS weakest area?

Dan Szymborski: The future.

Dan Szymborski: I’ve got the past down.

Joe: Is there more to Jon Schoop, or is this what he is?

Dan Szymborski: I think he’s about where he’ll be, which is fine.

Matt: If Dan Szymborski eats a sandwich, is it a szandwich?

Dan Szymborski: So long as it’s not a hot dog.

Yu: Three team trade: Profar to Detroit, Iglesias to SD, Jankowski to Detroit, JD Martinez to Texas. Thoughts?

Dan Szymborski: Meh for Detroit.

RotoLando: What martial art would be most applicable to your current lifestyle?

Dan Szymborski: Sumo?

Matt: I know you’re not a fantasy guy, but do you have an opinion on paying a guy like Posey? His overall numbers (and counting stats) are well above output for a catcher, and C has positional scarcity. But then 11 of the other 12 options are much closer to each other, so it could be argued that the incrementality is not that much.

Dan Szymborski: I think he’s enough that I aggressively go after Posey if he’s in the right slot and precisely nobody else.

Dan: Kopech was only 52 innings at High A this year. Manning could get like 90 innings at A/high A. Just a hypothetical

Dan Szymborski: You asked if Manning had his 2016 performance!

J.P. Crawford: Is it possible I am a starter on opening day?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Outfield Fly Rule: Why is Travis Demeritte getting so much love from a lot of places?

Dan Szymborski: He does have interestnig power

Thr33Rings!: Why do people think Kershaw is so much better than Bumgarner? Honestly I there is a honest argument to be had as to who is the better pitcher.

Dan Szymborski: There isn’t.

RotoLando: Finish this sentence: “You’ll rue the day you met Dan Szymborksi, _______ __________!”

Dan Szymborski: Mr. Bad Speller!

Dan: who are you most rooting for as the rando novelty old-school entrant/entrants in the rumble? Or do you think at 22 confirmed not counting NXT and roster surprises that there won’t be room for randos.

Dan Szymborski: VADER

Matt: What is one third of a bazillion? Seems like you’re giving yourself a lot of credit there, Dan…

Dan Szymborski: A bazi

JT: I knew this was somehow Cistullis fault

RotoLando: Who will be the next Stark to die?

Dan Szymborski: Pete Stark?

norman: Rate in order these young SP’s.

Dan Szymborski: 1, 2, 3, 4, and then 5.

thanksfor1984: Is it safe to show up for an MRI drunk? If so I am in trouble.

Dan Szymborski: Not sure.

Gub Gub: Can you change your LinkedIn profile to “Medium-sized Beethoven”

Matt: If you know so many people are the sports world then why hasn’t anyone asked you to play for their team, Dan?

Dan Szymborski: See, they know me.

Dan: rank the following foods. Kielbasa Knishes Kishka Knodel Kneydlach knockwurst

Dan Szymborski: Kielbasa, Knockwurst, Kneidlach, Knishes, Knodel, Kishka

Devil Ray J. Johnson: Have you done a podcast with Cistulli? That could be entertaining.

Dan Szymborski: Only once.

norman: should major league teams have a no driving in dominican republic clause in contracts

Dan Szymborski: Seems it would be tricky. People gotta get around.

Dan Szymborski: Are they going to pay for all their minor leaguers to have chauffeurs with humvees?

CarrotJuice: Do you think the Giants window of contention is shorter than is commonly? Not much young talent, an aging and expensive core.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think they’re in danger zone yet

Zac: You think that’s bad, you should try having the name. And everybody assumes there’s a K or H, when really the path of least resistance is neither

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, there are Zacs too. Curtis and Rosscup and I’m probably forgetting someone

Eric: Your conspicuous (borderline stubborn) refusal to talk politics gives a strong whiff that you’re a Trump supporter but ashamed because you know it’d make you a pariah in much of Baseball and Video Game Twitter. Dunno if you are or not. But if not, you may want to consider that you’re doing more damage by omission than you would by answering a few softballs once in a while.

Dan Szymborski: I did not vote for Trump.

Dan Szymborski: I did say I voted for Gary Johnson before I took the no-politics position in chats.

Dan Szymborski: Politics all over the spectrum is pretty nasty.

Dan Szymborski: My readers are Obama voters, Trump voters, stay homes, Johnson voters, Stein voters, and in lots of countries that have other elections. I see no reason to get involved in something this divisive that isn’t connected to my job.

HappyFunBall: This is 3rd hand, so take it for what it’s worth. But a friend of a friend actually is an AGM for a major market MLB club, and he makes almost $200k

Dan Szymborski: It could be right. I’ve never asked anyone, it’s a bit gauche for me.

Gub Gub: What is the Uniform Commercial Code, and can I cite it in my lawsuit against Wendy’s employees ongoing stress test of the XL size category?

Dan Szymborski: You can cite Big Mac v. Little Mac (1985)

thanksfor1984: Too bad, I have only studied Bird Law.

Dan Szymborski: Bird Law in the United States isn’t covered by reason.

Devil Ray J. Johnson: My fish chowder had a large bone that cut the inside of my cheek. Did this violate any warranties under the UCC?

Dan Szymborski: I would personally so no. I feel that you should’ve had clam chowder instead.

Dan Szymborski: And since you didn’t, whatever happened to you is good and legal.

Bork: Canadian Prime Minister said that a hot dog is a sandwich. Sorry Dan. Fearless leader trumps you.

Dan Szymborski: Proper Sandwich Identification Trumps Hate.

Alex: What would be better, hot dog filled beer or beer filled hot dog?

Dan Szymborski: Uh, the latter.

ohioastrosfan: Tell me why Sports Illustrated was right about 2017

Dan Szymborski: What did they say?

ohioastrosfan: George Springer is my favorite Astros player, and my fiance said he’s dreamy. Is it bad that she is right?

Dan Szymborski: Do you have a jersey? I sense some very nerdy roleplaying…

Jon Papelbon: I’d like to punch the Uniform Commercial Code…in the face!

Hairy Son: The K-food guy forgot to ask you about knoepfle and Kix!

Dan Szymborski: Oh, anything spätzle based goes to the top

Dan Szymborski: Not Kix.

Dan Szymborski: Thankfully, I didn’t have a choosy mom and she got me a better cereal.

norman: cabs or uber

Dan Szymborski: Uber

ohioastrosfan: Favorite rapper pls

Dan Szymborski: Not really my genre.

Dan Szymborski: Parappa?

ohioastrosfan: Biggio or Bagwell

Dan Szymborski: Bagwell

Gub Gub: I recently learned that “Knoblauch” in German means garlic. Therefore, you will now refer to him as Charlie Garlic

Hairy Son: Is it OK to say I love you just a little bit more knowing you didn’t vote for Trump?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think you should base love on who someone voted for!

ohioastrosfan: Thoughts on Yankees no facial hair policy?

Dan Szymborski: Fine for me, I can only group crappy beards.

ohioastrosfan: —Do you have a jersey? I sense some very nerdy roleplaying…—–

Laughed out loud at my desk because I do in fact have a Springer Jersey.

Dan Szymborski: “Hey babe, wanna see some isolated power?”

Gub Gub: Any interest in the new Star Trek series (despite the baffling decision to tie it to CBS’ ill-fated internet adventure)?

Dan Szymborski: No.

Dan Szymborski: I’m not interesting in yet another prequel.

Dan Szymborski: I want the storyline to move forward where we left off after DS9 Voyager/TNG movies.

Matt: If Dan Szymborski eats a salad, is it a szalad?

Dan Szymborski: Why not?

JT: My girlfriend finds Daniel Norris dreamy. I grew a beard just to be safe

Dan Szymborski: Are you also living in a van down by the river?

Harold: Who was the most underappreciated player in the nineties?

Dan Szymborski: Bagwell still. He’s a top 5 modern 1B.

ohioastrosfan’s girlfriend: Come to bed, George Springer, and let me show you MY OBP.

Dan Szymborski: “Sorry, i got caught stealing your heart again”

Matt: If a salad eats Dan Szymborski, does he become Dan Simborsky?

Dan Szymborski: That only happens if we’re living in Rand McNally

Guest: If you were to write a baseball novel what would the premise be?

Dan Szymborski: Ridiculousness.

Dan Szymborski: OK guys, now it’s time for a handsome little bookend, now it’s time to tie up all the loose ends.

Dan Szymborski: Thanks for joining me, everyone! You can read my work at ESPN.com (ZiPS Top 100 prospects TOMORROW), chats and projections at FanGraphs, and DSzymborski on Twitter.

Dan Szymborski: If for some odd reason you miss my chats when I’m not here, I’m just as stupid and obnoxious on Twitter.

Dan Szymborski: NOW GO AWAY. IT’S OVER>