Daily Notes, Partially Crowdsourced

Table of Contents

Here’s the table of contents for next September 20th’s edition of the Daily Notes.

1. Matt Harvey: Can’t He Decide On That Surgery Already?
2. The Story of Luke Hochevar’s 63rd Save
3. Derek Jeter’s MVP Comeback Season Continues
4. The iPhone 6, and how you can not only watch the MLB.TV Free Game on it, you can also play center field.
5. Today’s Complete Schedule, except for the Dodgers and Diamondbacks, still stuck in Australia, waiting to get out since April.

Alternatively, here’s the table of contents for today’s partially crowdsourced edition of the Daily Notes.

1. An Introduction
2. Hot Bruce Chen GIF
3. Mike Trout Slash Lines
4. Today’s MLB.TV Free Game
5. Today’s Complete Schedule

An Introduction

I am graph-impaired, and far more comfortable writing poems about anti-semitic urine collectors, scripts for the new NBC comedy, “Park Factors and Recreation,” and fake fantasy mailbags than actual non-fictional content about current issues on the baseball diamond.

Thus, in preparation for filling Carson’s shoes this morning, I begged the loyal NotGraphs readers to help me fill these notes. They responded by requesting hot Bruce Chen GIFs, Mike Trout’s slash line, and daily drink selections to help you cope with watching the Astros on the MLB.TV free game of the day, which is perhaps MLB’s punishment for not upgrading to a more expensive app.

I will try to fulfill these requests, and also provide you with a chart of today’s starting pitchers. Carson will be back on Monday, and all will be better.

Hot Bruce Chen GIF

Commenter Samy Dangerfield requested a hot Bruce Chen GIF. This is the best I can do.

CRITICAL NOTE: He’s hot because there are two suns. And the grey stuff is steam. Someone please teach me Photoshop.

Mike Trout Slash Lines

Commenter ettin wanted Mike Trout slash lines. According to this 2011 Baseball Prospectus piece by Emma Span, which you probably do not want to read at work, slash fiction refers to stories about people (and cartoon characters?) having, uh, very graphic extracurricular lives. Thus, I assume that ettin was asking for lines like this:

“…and then Trout gently stroked his bat…”

“…and with the final poker hand decided, Mike Trout, Albert Pujols, and the Rally Monkey were the only ones with any clothes still left on….”

“…and Trout said to Josh Hamilton, ‘I know exactly how we can bust that slump….'”

Or maybe he just wanted to know that Trout’s at a ridiculous .330/.435/.570, topping last year, with an even more ridiculous second-half line of .346/.496/.581, with 53 walks in 56 games. No walks since Sunday though… Monday ended a 9-games-with-a-walk streak.

Today’s MLB.TV Free Game

Houston at Cleveland | 19:05 ET Brett Oberholtzer (60.1 IP, 107 xFIP-, 1.0 WAR) faces Zach McAllister (125 IP, 113 xFIP-, 1.5 WAR) in the day’s longest-combined-last-names-of-starting-pitchers matchup. Also, the Indians should probably try and win this thing for the sake of their wild-card hopes.

Readers’ Preferred Broadcast: Vin Scully, three hours later, broadcasting an entirely different game.

Today’s Complete Schedule

Here’s the complete schedule for all of today’s games, with beer and non-beer pairings, courtesy of prolific and helpful NotGraphs commenter Well-Beered Englishmen, whom you can also find on Twitter. Ah, Twitter. Pitching probables and game times aggregated from MLB.com and a random guess as to who will be pitching for the Yankees, since, as of this writing, it’s TBD*.


Away Beer Non-Beer Home Time
Paul Maholm ATL Three Floyds Alpha King Gin and Tonic CHC Scott Baker 14:20
Mat Latos CIN Yuengling Traditional Lager Louis Roederer Brut Champagne PIT Fr. Liriano 19:05
Oberholtzer HOU St Arnold’s Pumpkinator Cuyahoga River Water CLE Zach McAllister 19:05
Jacob Turner FLA Dogfish Head Punkin Ale Classic Mojito WAS J. Zimmermann 19:05
D. Matsuzaka NYM Pabst Blue Ribbon Vodka, Straight PHI Cole Hamels 19:05
Tim Lincecum SF Brooklyn Pennant Ale Manhattan NYY Ron Guidry* 19:05
Andre Rienzo CHW New Holland Dragon’s Milk Anaconda Malt Liquor DET Max Scherzer 19:08
Jason Hammel BAL Cigar City Jose M. Am. Porter Quivira Zinfandel ’10 TB David Price 19:10
Esmil Rogers TOR Sleeman’s Honey Brown Ale Baileys Caramel Irish Cream BOS Jon Lester 19:10
Rand. Delgado ARI Left Hand Milk Stout Nitro Ace Pumpkin Cider COL Jhoulys Chacin 20:10
Shelby Miller STL Leinenkugel’s Oktoberfest White Russian MIL Johnny Hellweg 20:10
Martin Perez TEX Lakewood Lager Long Boat Sauv. Blanc (NZ) KC Ervin Santana 20:10
Matt Albers MIN Anchor Porter Leese-Fitch Cab. Sauv. ’10 OAK Bartolo Colon 22:05
Eras. Ramirez SEA Stone Ruination Ramen with 1 Tbsp Sriracha LAA Jered Weaver 22:05
Edin. Volquez LAD Stone Sublimely Self-Righteous Margarita on the Rocks SD Robbie Erlin 22:10


*Okay, I checked again and it’s CC Sabathia. But why change a whole chart?!

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
10 years ago

Are the drink pairings based on the quality of the pitchers involved, or are they all recommended choices courtesy of W-BE?

Well-Beered Englishman
10 years ago
Reply to  tz

Recommended based on a number of factors, namely:
(a) association with the home or away team’s region;
(b) relevance to team character (e.g. champagne for the Pirates to celebrate a winning season);
(c) purely subjective assessment of what would be fun to drink to what game;
(d) blatant anti-Phillies prejudice.

10 years ago

Not enough Phillies prejudice. Need something a lot stronger than straight Vodka to stand watching Daisuke and the Phillies. Something well aged, perhaps, given how much time you’ll have in between pitches.

10 years ago

Gonna go with the dogfish 60 minutes at the Red Porch tonight, only because someone drank up the 90 minute. Only good use for Punkin is Chunkin.

Hirohitahomerun already
10 years ago

I enjoy Black n Tans (Two Beers in One!) with Pittsburgh’s uniforms.

Robbie Erlin makes me think Duchesse De Bourgogne, Scherzer sounds like Sazerac, and Latos the The Laddie (Bruichladdich). St Louis non-beer is Redbreast (cask strength). Or for Shelby and the oppressive Midwest heat how about a Shandy? (Not Leinenkugel’s canned shandy.)

Need a session beer for Dice K’s belabored stylings. PBR was an excellent choice since they both suck.