Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 12/28/15

Derek Carr: Kenta to the Dodgers is all but done, right? He was visiting the stadium over the weekend

Dan Szymborski: While it seems likely, lots of things have seemed likely.

Dan Szymborski: Remember when everybody in the world was 100% sure Bernie Williams was going to sign with the Diamonbdbacks?

Dan Szymborski: And I’m saving the off-topic questions for the Lightning ROund

Dan Szymborski: Unless it looks like nobody’s here, possibly caused by the weird time we started.

BK: Simply looking for a gut reaction here: If you were Carlos Correa, what number would it take for you to sign a lifetime contract right now (same AAV every year, deal pays until you’re 38)?

Dan Szymborski: $300 milion or GTFO.

Zach: John Jaso was the quintessential Pirates first baseman signing. What starter on the open market do you see as the quintessential Pirates signing? I say Mat Latos.

Dan Szymborski: Fister?

Derek Carr: Let’s say the A’s have about $12M in budget room left, given that they were still in on Kaz. Does some free agent hitter drop low enough to take a 1/12 deal, try again next offseason?

Dan Szymborski: Not a good one.

Dan Szymborski: Even Butler got 3/30 from the A’s.

Trainman: Mets and De Aza.. Very underwhelming this team it appears won’t sign that big bat with that power pitching and dominant closer. Is my frustration justified?

Dan Szymborski: Not really – just how much, in reality, do you think you can upgrade over a Conforto/Lagares/Granderson 2016 outfield?

Dan Szymborski: Cespedes was a beast in the second half, but htat’s not also Cespedes’s baseline expectation

Dan Szymborski: The Mets are known to have owner-related financial issues

Dan Szymborski: Is a horrid overpay to a good-not-great outfielder really the smartest thing for the organization to do?

Dan Szymborski: Other needs will pop up at some point.

Dan Szymborski: The Mets signing an expensive outfielder looks like a transaction in search of a need rather than the other way ’round.

Will Graham: Will someone ever solve the mystery of the Jorge Posada searching on Fangraphs?

Dan Szymborski: Not sure what it’s referring to.

Guest: Surprised about Uptons market or lack thereof?

Dan Szymborski: There’s not a perfect correlation between buzz and interest.

Jason: Can you explain the value of 1 WAR being around $8 million? A 3 WIN player should be paid $24/million/year? Seems excessive.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t believe it’s that high.

Zach: Fister is definitely a good choice, though some feel he doesn’t quite fit the typical mold of a Pirates reclamation project.

Dan Szymborski: Molds are boring.,

Kip: What would a Nathan Eovaldi or Michael Pineda extension look like?

Dan Szymborski: Hard to say – both have too many questions to go nuts.

rlcoop: What does a Collin McHugh projection look like this year?

Dan Szymborski: Now we’re just cheating.

Kip: Hey dan. Do you watch Rick and Morty?

Dan Szymborski: I have not.

Will Graham: Jorge Posada is always the most searched name every single day regardless of the situation

Dan Szymborski: Oh, news to me.

Jim: Red Sox finish in ___ place this year.

Dan Szymborski: a

Eli: How dumb is Chris Davis for not taking the Orioles offer? I don’t see a bunch of teams lining up for the Ryan Howard 2.0 type contract Boras is asking.

Dan Szymborski: Not going to call him dumb because when I do, life has a way of making it smart.

Dan Szymborski: The Rockies giving QO to Cuddyer looked like the dumbest idea ever.

TJ: Which of the big FA OF’s signs next ?

Dan Szymborski: Gordon

@RationalMLBfan: take advantage of their unique home field–amount of foul territory, length of grass, watered down infield, outfield dimensions, etc. In contrast, the measurements of the courts/arenas in NBA, NFL, and NHL are standard. Yet the home winning percentage seems to be greater in non-MLB sports. Why is that? Is it due to the amount of “control” that individual players have in a game? That is, MLB is more susceptible to chance/randomness, which is an equalizer despite crafted rosters? And/or, NBA, NFL, NHL is more susceptible to the “human element” of performing in a hostile environment and therefore perform poorly on the road?

Dan Szymborski: Simply because there are only so many ways to take advantage of unique home field.

The Ghost of Dan O’Dowd: Corey Dickerson for Jose Iglesias. Who hangs up first?

Dan Szymborski: Tigers. I’m not sure they make a trade just to shift their problem position.

Kristian: who is the odd man out in the Cubs rotation? Hammel or Warren? (assuming Hendricks is the #4 starter)

Dan Szymborski: I think they’ll sort it out in the spring

@RationalMLBfan: I think I only typed part of my question in a previous post: Unlike other sports, MLB teams can craft their rosters to take advantage of their unique home field–amount of foul territory, length of grass, watered down infield, outfield dimensions, etc. In contrast, the measurements of the courts/arenas in NBA, NFL, and NHL are standard. Yet the home winning percentage seems to be greater in non-MLB sports. Why is that? Is it due to the amount of “control” that individual players have in a game? That is, MLB is more susceptible to chance/randomness, which is an equalizer despite crafted rosters? And/or, NBA, NFL, NHL is more susceptible to the “human element” of performing in a hostile environment and therefore perform poorly on the road?

Dan Szymborski: Simply put, baseball has an RNG, so the teams are simply closer in ability and many games aren’t going to come down to that kind of thing.

Dan Szymborski: There are only so many ways to build a baseball team.

Dan Szymborski: Baseball is more a game of execution than about tactical planning.

Dan Szymborski: Significant baseball decisions are on the strategic level.

Andrelton Simmons Big rig: Could Jose De Leon and Blake Snell be solid rotation arms down the stretch for their teams?

Dan Szymborski: I think Snell more likely this year.

Dan Szymborski: But yeah

TJ: Will the White Sox make one more big move ?

Dan Szymborski: I think they’ll try. They may not have accomplished enough last year, but they were at least familiar with what they ought ot be trying to do

j6takish: With all the talk of moving heyward to CF, are teams going to be more open about moving elite defenders up the spectrum? Ian kinsler had been a 5-10 run defender for the past few years, could he have handled shortstop all that time?

Dan Szymborski: It’s possible. Will most likely happen with the truly elte defenders.

David: I know some people who keep on insisting that Salazar could net Pederson and De Leon and that a Bauer for Pederson or Puig straight up is fair. Can you please confirm that they are vastly under valuing how much Pederson and Puig are worth?

Dan Szymborski: That’s a little…optimistic.

JKD: I was distinctly unpsyched about the Daniel Murphy signing until I actually compared him to Ben Zobrist and Brandon Phillips. Zobrist is the best of the bunch – but years 3 and 4 of his deal, at 37 and 38, are probably not going to be pretty. And he was injured last year, and probably fine, but – he’s 35. Phillips will be later this year, has lost ISO every year for almost a decade, doesn’t get on base, and is only average in the field now – and apparently wanted almost the same money as Murphy to okay the deal. Murphy will lose some games with his glove and baserunning – but win probably just as many with his bat. He’s a consistent 110 wRC+ player, never misses the ball, and will only be 33 in Year 3 of the deal. The Nats, meanwhile, have Danny Espinosa under control for those same three years, and Trea Turner and Wilmer Difo on the way. If everything breaks right, Murphy maybe gets traded or maybe is a solid 400 PA bat by the end of the deal. If everything breaks wrong, they’re out $23M and a year less tha

Dan Szymborski: Is there a question with this?

Dan Szymborski: It’s not a *great* signing – giving up a first rounder does hurt.

GSon: Mike Napoli crushed at the end of the 2015 season.. Would a triple slash of .270/.370/.470 with 25 dingers and boat load of RBI’s be considered at excessive expectation in 2016?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

SR: What position does Olivera end up playing more over the next couple years?

Dan Szymborski: Left unless Freeman is traded.

RotoLando: Are there any guidelines from MLB when it comes to stadium dimensions? Could a team make a large gap in the centerfield wall that goes back another 50 ft, but is only 6 feet wide?

Dan Szymborski: MLB has some rules about minimums and the like, which I don’t have memorized

Kip: Are you able plug in different hypothetical scenarios into ZiPs just to see what would happen in extreme situations? Harper/Trout in Coors, Kershaw in Petco with best defender at every position, etc.

Dan Szymborski: I can.

Guest: The Detroit media seems to think that the Tigers would be better off waiting until mid season to assess their needs rather than acquire a LF in the near term. I see the risk in going “all in” today given the number of injury prone stars, but the number of sellers has diminished in the last couple seasons. Does it make sense to wait?

Dan Szymborski: No. They have needs now. Not addressing needs for an entire season now because of possible needs for two months is kinda stupid.

Dan Szymborski: It would be different if the Tigers were a really solid team now. They’re not – they’re a .500ish team that needs a lot to go right.

RotoLando: Who is your (or ZiPS’) very early Comeback Player of the Year prediction?

Dan Szymborski: I usually do a piece on this subject, os not pspoiling

Chris: Of the teams that are actively “rebuilding” how would you rank what the reds are doing and their chances of long term success? Playoffs annually

Dan Szymborski: Rather poorly. They started too late, failed to trade two of the players they need to, and what they got for Todd Frazier is frigging awful.

Dan Szymborski: I would argue that they got as much for one year of Alfredo Simon as they got for two years of Todd Frazier, which is just embarrassing.

Kip: Age old question: Which sport has more parity, Baseball or Football? Die hard fans of each sport always seem to answer with the one they’re a fan of. I’m no different and firmly believe baseball is the absolute correct answer.

Dan Szymborski: Baseball easily. It’s the nature of the game.

Eli: Josh Reddick – extended or traded? A’s don’t have much OF depth right now, so either makes sense.

Dan Szymborski: Traded, I expect.

Guest: Thoughts on the Ryan Howard, Manning and Harrison ped story?

Dan Szymborski: Hope they kept their receipts.

Joe: Where do the Reds go from here ?? Miserable start to the rebuild…

Dan Szymborski: Last place.

rlcoop: Was Joc Pederson’s 2nd half last year a sign of things to come, or is 200 AB’s too small of a sample size to make a judgment on?

Dan Szymborski: People got too excited about the early season then too depresseda bout the late season

Meowmix: I think the White Sox should just go all in and get Gordon and Desmond. What say ye?

Dan Szymborski: They should.

Kip: Does Heyward in CF have a higher WAR than Heyward in RF? Assume same hitting stats. Very curious if the + positional adjustment from RF to CF is enough to make up for the less elite defense

Dan Szymborski: In projection yes. ZiPS believes Heyward will adjust better than the average corner outfielder would.

Andrelton Simmons Big rig: I don’t expect Tommy Pham to produce at a 125 wRC+ again, but should he be getting more consideration for a larger role with the Cardinals ?

Dan Szymborski: That’s a little optimistic.

Dan Szymborski: They’ll sort through their random collection of interesting OFs this spring

TJ: Who would you bat lead-off for the Cubs , Zorbist ?

Dan Szymborski: Why not?

I am the Walrus: Why does it seem managers are reluctant to bat lefties back to back? Should they be against an elite righty?

Dan Szymborski: LOOGY

Shane: Are the Red Sox a World Series contender or do they still need better starting pitching behind Price?

Dan Szymborski: I think any halfway decent AL team is a World Series contender.

Devin: What kind of ceiling do you see for Kike Hernandez?

Dan Szymborski: Solidly above-average player, not a star

I am the Walrus: Do you see the price for pitching in terms of prospect to go down some from this ridiculous level at mid-season?

Dan Szymborski: No.

morineko: Twins rotation speculation: is deploying Trevor May as a reliever a better idea than as a starter?

Dan Szymborski: I probably would use him as a reliever unless I *really* need to use him in the rotation

The Cincinnati Kid: How often do YOU see what the projections spit out and say, “No way!” Like once on a 25-man roster? More, less?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t really count. There are degrees.

Joe: what kind of trade value do you think Jay Bruce has ? Angels and Orioles seem like a fit.

Dan Szymborski: Not much.

Dan Szymborski: He’s been really lousy for two years now.

Dan Szymborski: If Bruce were a free agent, I’d have to think long and hard if I wanted to sign him to a 1/13 deal.

Dan Szymborski: I’m certainly not giving up anything of value

Dan Szymborski: Teams can overpay when they have desperate needs, but the problem is, I’m not sure 2016 Jay Bruce can actually satisfy any such need.

Dan Szymborski: It makes sense for a drowning man to overpay for a life preserver. It doesn’t make sense for a drowning man to overpay for a sandwich.

Tyler: Thoughts on Brewers rebuild?

Dan Szymborski: Still early.

I am the Walrus: Do you think teams are overvaluing and paying much in trade value for elite rp’s?

Dan Szymborski: Possibly.

JK: Should Pedro Alvarez be shagging flies im

Dan Szymborski: Given his defense at 1st and 3rd, he’s probably better off not answering the questions of whether he can play in the outfield and leaving it in doubt.

Shane: What do you think it costs to lock up Mookie Betts?

Dan Szymborski: A ton.

Chris: Could we have gotten peraza and vertigo for

Dan Szymborski: Already got peraza. I wouldn’t recommend getting vertigo – I had a case of it mys enior year of high school

Chris: Sry. Could the reds have gotten peraza and vertigo for Chapman and still had the Frazier piece?

Dan Szymborski: I think so.

Kip: Does Joey Votto have positive trade value? Would any team hypothetically take him and his contract without any prospects being sent over?

Dan Szymborski: Probably not positive, but I think it’s close enough that a team with a real need might have some interest.

Dan Szymborski: Won’t get any great prospectage without eating salary of course.

Dan Szymborski: Unlike Bruce, overpaying for Votto can actually fill a need.

TJ: If the Angels were able to post Trout like they do for the Japanese players , how high do you see the bids going ?

Dan Szymborski: All the tea.

RotoLando: Dingers?

Dan Szymborski: Sure

Brian: Why isn’t Denard Span getting more buzz? Seems like a sneaky good signing.

Dan Szymborski: Problem is he’s a CF on the wrong side of 30 with slipping defensive numbers who had back and hip problems.

Dan Szymborski: Though I do think he could be a good signing.

Adam: Does Kolten Wong get 150 starts at 2B for the Cardinals or is he replaced by Jedd Gyorko?

Dan Szymborski: He shouldn’t be replaced with Gyorko

Andrew: What does Lunhow see in Evan Gattis? First to acquire him, then to ensure he’s the everyday DH by keeping him and not adding a replacement? He’s not good at all is he?

Dan Szymborski: Wasn’t all that excited about him.

Aaron: I know you’ve said in the past that you tinker with ZiPS projections a few years into the future before releasing updated versions. Are you using any new variables (or substantially different weights) from years past?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, more pitch data is involved.

RotoLando: A team of 8 Mike Trouts with Kyle Farnsworth pitching, vs a team of 8 Barry Bondses with Juan Nicasio pitching. In Coors, late May.

Dan Szymborski: heh

Jimbo: Which of the remaining FAs are most likely to consider a pillow contract and which are most likely to wait until after the season starts to sign?

Dan Szymborski: Latos

Pat: who signs pedro alvarez

Dan Szymborski: Local car dealership

Chris: Of Pederson, grichuk and polanco, who is line for the biggest step forward and the largest step back?

Dan Szymborski: Polanco, wouldn’t say any of them take a huge step back

Zonk: Jason Heyward’s signing bonus is deferred, unless he opts-out; it makes it all the more likely he will opt out after 3 years, barring injury of course. If he continues to perform, is 3/78 a reasonable pay for the next 3 years of Heyward?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Q-Ball: Jorge Soler…are you a believer? Obvious power potential, loud contact, but poor defense last year and middling results.

Dan Szymborski: I like him, but I feel I was always more realistic than some people who went crazy

Dan Szymborski: Half you guys were pissed at me last year for his 2-WAR projection in ZiPS

Dan Szymborski: Like I said then, he has potential, but there was always limited data on him and people got too excited about setting a high baseline for him

morineko: What do you think the Braves are trying to do out there with their minor league pitcher stockpile?

Dan Szymborski: With young, upside pitchers, it makes sense to throw em all against a wall and see what sticks.

Devin: What Relief Arm in Dodgers Farm system has highest upside for this year?

Dan Szymborski: Montas

TJ: Thanks for making a really crappy weather day in Illinois go a little bit faster .

Dan Szymborski: Technically it’s still going the same speed.

Johnny5Alive: How bad is the de aza signing, given the Mets needs

Dan Szymborski: It’s mostly irrelevant.

Pinstripe Wizard: Where do you think Upton and Gordon ultimately land?

Dan Szymborski: Airport.

RotoLando: Have you ever made two fantasy teams, one with the #1 average draft position at each position, versus the top ZiPS player at each position, and played them against each other?

Dan Szymborski: I have not.

Q-Ball: If the Cubs decided to stand pat as far as major moves, and roll into the season with what they have, would you still consider that a very successful offseason? Are you liking Theo’s moves?

Dan Szymborski: I think it’s a successful ofseason.

adam wainwright: do I seem extremely bitter?

Dan Szymborski: Eh, people are emotional

Pinstripe Wizard: Given the Yankees lack of starting pitching depth and their apparent lack of success in the FA market this year, who’s the most likely hitter to be flipped for some starting help? What kind of pitcher would the Yankees get back for him?

Dan Szymborski: Honestly, I think the Yankees have mostly been thrashing.

I am the Walrus: Paradox…pitchers are by far the most risky to sign to long term deals and drain an team financially from competing, yet they are the most valuable and most impactful player in the short term to winning a playoff series. Correct?

Dan Szymborski: Not unreasonable.

Dan Szymborski: But here’s the thing, contracts for pitchers have actually tended to reflect this risk.

Pinstripe Wizard: If Ryan Howard was on HGH, shouldn’t he have been better after his injuries than one of the worst players in baseball?

Dan Szymborski: Unlike steroids, in which there’s some evidence of an effect, there’s still little in studies about real benefits to athletes.

Dan Szymborski: But like corking, if it’s against the rules, he should still be suspended (in the case the evidence is convincing)

Dan Szymborski: I consider post-2004 PED use as very different than pre-2004 PED use.

Dan Szymborski: And don’t bring up the Fay Vincent memo which had as much authority as me declaring Kate Upton is my girlfriend.

Dan Szymborski: (Even *Vincent* knew it was worthless and had no effect on players – he said as much in interviews)

Zonk: Indians beat reporter says the Tribe is pretty much done after signing R. Davis and Napoli. That means an opening OF of Davis/Almonte/Chisenhall, with Urshela, Santana, and Napoli playing major roles. For their lineup to score enough runs, seems like everything has to go right, doesn’t it? Should the Indians be more aggressive about getting a bat? Why weren’t they in on Frazier?

Dan Szymborski: I do think they should’ve been more aggressive. The AL looks like a lot like it was last year with a bunch of middling teams.

Dan Szymborski: I think all the best teams and all the worst teams are in the NL.

Archie: What do you think the Daniel Murphy singing means for the Turner/Espinosa timeshare?

Dan Szymborski: I think the general Tenor of the move is that Turner will be given every chance to take the job and Espinosa will likely find enough time to fill in at various infield spots.

Clay: What’s your most interesting team for 2016?

Dan Szymborski: Detroit. That team is so on the verge of just blowing up into a billion pieces.

Dan Szymborski: It’s like watching a Titanic movie. Yeah, everybody’s enjoying dinner NOW but you just know they’re going to hit that iceberg at some point.

Dan Szymborski: It’s not like there’s going to do a Titanic movie in which they miss the iceberg and everybody has a good time.

I am the Walrus: What is now the most unvalued thing in baseball? Baserunning, defense?

Dan Szymborski: Korean players.

Dan Szymborski: From the league, not the ethnicity.

Pat: What are your thoughts on Danny Valencia? Is he a late-stage breakout and can sustain 85% of last year or is he Steve Pearce?

Dan Szymborski: He’s shown glimpses before. I think he’s gonig to be at least decent.

j6takish: dexter fowler back to the cubs right? They don’t lose a draft pick and it seems odd for a team to go “all in” and still have an obvious hole like that

Dan Szymborski: What hole would that be?

Bob: Thoughts on the Mariners? They looking like contenders for 2016 IYO?

Dan Szymborski: They don’t look terrible, which makes them a contender.

HappyFunBall: Span announced a couple of weeks ago that he is doing a public workout shortly after New Years to demonstrate his heath. I’m not remotely surprised no one has signed him just yet.

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure a public workout really means much to anybody.

Dan Szymborski: The question is how healthy will he be after starting 80 games in 3 months.

Dan Szymborski: It’s not like there was one big thing that was fixed.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, a guy coming off Tommy John throwing 96, that’s useful

Eric: Did Daniel Murphy’s post season numbers factor on the ZiPS projection you tweeted after he signed? If so why is the projection below last seasons even though he out performed it, is it the home park?

Dan Szymborski: Yes.

Dan Szymborski: And I can’t answer the second question off-hand like this

Dan Szymborski: I don’t even know what his 2015 projection *was* off-hand

I am the Walrus: Is it likely that an above avg fielding ss be a good fielding 3B?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

some guy: Who would have to add something for a Conforto for Schwarber swap to work? How big a something would it be? The defensive difference would be pretty decent right? And Conforto’s bat looks solid.

Dan Szymborski: Kind of a weird trade.

The Cincinnati Kid: Were you on the Nice list or the Naughty list?

Dan Szymborski: I didn’t believe in Santa Claus when I was 4.

Andrelton Simmons Big rig: Think Nick Ahmed can turn around his low BABIP and become a league average SS at the plate?

Dan Szymborski: Wouldn’t go that far.

Jon: Will Nick Castellanos ever become a decent player? Were you high on him when he was a top prospect?

Dan Szymborski: I was high on him, but neither his bat or defnese have really developed like one hoped.

@RationalMLBfan: I’m interested in learning coding—not for a particular purpose, but just to add a skill to my tool kit. What language would you recommend as being generally useful? (It’s been awhile–I’ve used BASIC and Pascal, so I understand the structure of programming, but I obviously am not familiar with current languages.) And would you recommend any online tutorials, or should I just enroll in a class?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not a coding expert by any means, so you should probably direct this question elsewhere.

Dan Szymborski: My programming experience is learning some C++ in my required comptuer science credit in college

Dan Szymborski: And the damn class was at 9 AM so I was mostly asleep

Dan Szymborski: I’m not actually sure how I got a B- in that class. Now that I think of it, I dont’ remember actually doing much work.

Dan Szymborski: OK, we’re past 1, so time for the Lightning Round.

Dan Szymborski: The rules for the Lightning Round are simple: I have to answer every off-topic question, with a few exceptions (very personal, work-related, stuff like that). The Lightning ROund continues until I cathc up.

Dan Szymborski: If I dont’ catch up, it NEVER ENDS.

Dan Szymborski: Well, that’s not true, I do have to do work eventually

Dan Szymborski: And Go.

RotoLando: Why is the carpet wet, Dan?

Dan Szymborski: Poor drainage in the basement?

Mike: Do you have insider knowledge of Al-Jezeera’s dislike of Christmas?

Dan Szymborski: I do not. Probably they heard Wonderful Christmas.

RotoLando: If Mike Trout is Hulk Hogan, and Bryce Harper is Macho Man, who is Miss Elizabeth?

Dan Szymborski: Scott Boras?

Kip: Have you ever watched Harmontown?

Dan Szymborski: I have not.

Kip: I promise you Rick and Morty will be your favorite show. Trust me. GET ON THAT!

The Cincinnati Kid: Lightning Round: Would you rather fight 1 horse-sized duck or 10 duck-sized horses?

Dan Szymborski: 10 duck-sized horses.

Dan Szymborski: I imagine they would attack more black ninja style. That horse-sized duck may be MEAN though.

The Cincinnati Kid: Lightning Round: How many third-graders would it take to overcome you in a fight? (Avg third-graders, but with a reason to fight you)

Dan Szymborski: 30. Fewer if they practice cooperative takedowns.

The Cincinnati Kid: I know you’re in Ohio: thoughts on goetta? I can’t goetta enough

Dan Szymborski: Haven’t had.

The Cincinnati Kid: How long do we have to wait for Star Wars: The Force Awakens spoilers? Like, if someone doesn’t know Vader is Luke’s father, I have no problem breaking it to them at this point.

Dan Szymborski: Until it’s out of theaters.

Dan Szymborski: If you didn’t catch it in the theater, you didn’t really want to see it that badly

anon: How many total jobs do you have?

Dan Szymborski: 1

Dan Szymborski: Anthony, I only can answer a percentage of questions. You asking the same question 15 times just makes me put you on ignore.

Elton: Favorite TV show of 2015

Dan Szymborski: Man in the High Castle

Dwight Schrute: What type of bear is best?

Dan Szymborski: honeybear since it’s the only bear I can think of in the name of a good album

Chuncey Wiggins: You hear about teams giving players courses on financial planning, public speaking, and so on…should they also include statistical analysis as well? Cooking classes?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think it’ sa suleful for a player

I am the Walrus: Does a fish know he’s wet?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Jamie XX: How good is my new album?

Dan Szymborski: Have not heard and not really my genre.

TJ: Who’s on first?

Dan Szymborski: Who.

Dan Szymborski: Not the pronoun, but a player with the unlikely name of Who, is on first.

Michael: The Force Awakens–Best Star Wars movie in a decade? Y/N

Dan Szymborski: Well duh

Chris: In the event smalls was killing you, how would he do it?

Dan Szymborski: You mean liek Biggie Smalls?

Dan Szymborski: I guess scaring me? I don’t believe in ghosts, so one would scare the hell outta me.

TJ: What’s on second?

Dan Szymborski: Correct. Though they sometimes start Whatever on a day game following a night game

Anthony : thank you for wasting my time

Dan Szymborski: Doesn’t appear to have been that valuable.

Josh: Lighting Round: How many Cardinal fans does it take to change a lightbulb

Dan Szymborski: One as it is a simple one-person task.

TJ: Donald Trump ??????

Dan Szymborski: Not sure what the question is. But. No.

Chuncey Wiggins: How much would an outfield of centaurs affect opposing teams’ BABIP?

Dan Szymborski: Centaurs would have amazing range I imagine.

Dan Szymborski: Flyball BABIP would be very low.

Druidiful: Are you enjoying World of Warcraft?

Dan Szymborski: I usually do.

Dan Szymborski: But on and off.

Aaron: How many total jobs would you like to have?

Dan Szymborski: 1

charlie brown’s teacher: whaah whaa whaah whaa whaah?

Dan Szymborski: Damn muted trumpets.

Guest: I ahev to wait for force awakens on DVD, single parent working graveyard and yes I do want to see it bad

Dan Szymborski: You need to find a 19th century workhouse to make your children work at.

Blake: What are your 3 favorite TV shows of all time?

Dan Szymborski: Seinfeld, Simpsons, It’s Always Sunny

Fashion police: Mid-century modern or French country?

Dan Szymborski: Uh, modern?

@RationalMLBfan: It’s lunch time, so I want to ask: if a ham sandwich is better than nothing, but nothing is better than eternal life, then is a ham sandwich better than eternal life?

Dan Szymborski: There’s no transitive property of philosophical equality

Jon: Would you outrun bartolo colon in a40 yard dash?

Dan Szymborski: I think I could

Druidiful: I’m excited for whenever season two of The Man in the High Castle comes out.

Los: Driver or Christensen?

Dan Szymborski: Driver

Guest: Any dec noise cancelling headphone rec’s?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t have a set of noice cancelleing

Dan Szymborski: noice? I spelled it noice?

Dan Szymborski: and cancelleing?

Dan Szymborski: dafuq

Chuncey Wiggins: What would be the most useful or helpful thing to fire into the sun?

Dan Szymborski: Chuck Lorre?

Jonny: Have you ever heard of twenty one pilots?

Dan Szymborski: I have not.

Dan Szymborski: Unless this isn’t a proper noun and is asking me to name twenty one pilots.

Dan Szymborski: Come to think of it, I dont’ think I could name 21

Stalin: How would you characterize Americas’ obsession with all things Nazi?

Dan Szymborski: The Nazis were a fascinating group of asstards.

Chuncey Wiggins: Will people be sick of Star Wars by the end of 2019?

Dan Szymborski: No. If the prequels didn’t make people hate Star Wars, nothing will.

Jim: Are you fairly local?

Dan Szymborski: I like to think I’m fair.

RotoLando: Did you read The Man in the High Castle, and were you a fan of the book before?

Dan Szymborski: Yes, I’m a fan of Dick.

Billy: What NBA player would make the best baseball player??

Dan Szymborski: Hmm, I don’t really know

Dan Szymborski: Trying to think who played baseball

RotoLando: What is wrong with the chilismiths of Cinncinati? Chewed hummus is NOT the texture you should be aiming for.

Dan Szymborski: Chili also should not taste like pumpkin pie filling. Or be on spaghtetti

RotoLando: How many monitors do you have?

Dan Szymborski: 5

RotoLando: What’s the classiest foreign accent, and what’s the best one for anger?

Dan Szymborski: Posh British, German

RotoLando: I can see how working in a graveyard would limit your social engagments.

SPED: Vince Staples or Drake?

Dan Szymborski: Not really my thing

RotoLando: I need your immediate first impressions on a baby name: Barnold.

Dan Szymborski: Shouldn’t give your kid a nickname that results in their nickname being Barn

Eric: No Arrested Development?

Dan Szymborski: Just not in top 3

morineko: Better hair: deGrom or Syndergaard?

Dan Szymborski: Gotta go with Thor’s flowing golden mane

Chuncey Wiggins: Do centaurs have bowel control like humans or horses? Maybe this is more of hygiene/etiquette question. Are centaurs discrete when using the restroom or are they all pissing and defecating without discretion?

Dan Szymborski: Lower GI is horse, upper human

KyloRen: I went darkside because I couldn’t stop Lena Dunham from having her way with me as I clearly explained on the bridge.

RotoLando: Would you wrestle a Komodo dragon for its treasure, or would you leave it be and earn money by the usual means?

Dan Szymborski: Can I just steal it?

Blake: Who are you taking in a fight………Jason Bourne or Jack Bauer?

Dan Szymborski: Bourne is younger.

RotoLando: What sport desperately needs a better fantasy game?

Dan Szymborski: basketball

Guest: Hopefully the new star trek will be better than the last

Jack Clark: Were Nazis right wingers or left wingers?

Dan Szymborski: Before night of the long knives both, then right wingers

Dan Szymborski: Though I find left-right comparisons in cases like these to be exceedingly lame

Dan Szymborski: Becuase left-right varies in times of history and places and they don’t always translate to the current American situation

RotoLando: I just can’t take seriously, an army who would use the title Obergruppenfuhrer so often, and not come up with a shorthand.

Dan Szymborski: But German is fun, the way you just tack on sylalbles

Dan Szymborski: syllables

Dan Szymborski: I can’t type today

Jim: Why did the tigers sign pelfrey?

Dan Szymborski: Delusions?

j6takish: How did Dooku taking grevious as his apprentice not violate the sith rule of 2? This is prequel so don’t worry about spoilers

Dan Szymborski: He was an iconoclast with a terrible name.

Engelbert Humperdinck: If Davis is trying to get 8-$200, why wouldn’t a team just try to trade for Votto instead? I know he is 3 years older but I’d rather have Votto until the age of 39 than Davis until the age of 37. What do you think Votto’s trade value is?

Dan Szymborski: I’d rather have Votto than Davis of course.

Foul Ball Stealer: Hey I’m a dick fan, too!

Will Graham: Oh come on Dan, you can’t answer a question with “I’m a fan of Dick”

Dan Szymborski: It was capitalized

jar jar binks: am I a sith lord?

Dan Szymborski: No.

TJ: Your New Years resolution is ?

Dan Szymborski: 1080p. My GPU isn’t quite where it should be to get 1440p and 4K is still not super-practical yet.

Martha: How bad is Tom Crean at coaching?

Dan Szymborski: Quite

RotoLando: The DanChat Lightning Round is my favorite part of the off-season chat schedule

The Cincinnati Kid: Who wins Super Bowl 50?

Dan Szymborski: A football team.

Dan Szymborski: Actually, I’d say Patriots, but that’s such a lame boring answer

Guest: What baseball player would be good at basketball?

Dan Szymborski: I dunno, Amir Garrett?

Guest: How good would Mike trout be at football?

Dan Szymborski: Mike Trout would be the best at anything he ever does.

Logic: Hegel or Kant

Dan Szymborski: Kant

RotoLando: Would you say you have cannottypetodaydiseaseofthehands?

Dan Szymborski: Dont’ think it’s a disease

RotoLando: If you were allergic to clams and clam juice, to the point of needing to call 911 upon exposure, would you ever order something called a seafood sampler?

Dan Szymborski: No. I’m very careful about ordering lobster

Chuncey Wiggins: What would centaurs even eat? Whatever it is will be in massive quantities.

Dan Szymborski: I think they eat human food and their lower GI adjusts

Guest: Who had larger bowel movements yokozuma or Andre the giant?

Dan Szymborski: Yokozuna

Chris: Of the fangraphs guys, who would have the highest class job if not for the one they have now

Dan Szymborski: Appelman?

Dan Szymborski: Cistulli would be a prison snitch

KyloRen: Mookie Betts was a top HS basketball recruit as well as a top bowler.

GetTheseCookies: Kenny Lofton was the starting point guard for the Arizona basketball team that went to the final four (Steve Kerr was on that team as well)

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, but he’s not young now

Dan Szymborski: If we’re going in the past, we’ll just take Jordan

BIg hen: i think you could turn LeBron into a pretty ridiculous CF in terms of range. not much of a question here.

philoso-raptor: if you try to fail, and succeed. is that a failure?

Dan Szymborski: Yes.

Dan Szymborski: CAUGHT UP

Dan Szymborski: And so ends the tale of the Dan Szymborski 12/28/15 chat.

Dan Szymborski: Let’s remember the good times.