Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 8/19/13

Dan Szymborski: Announcing, for your amusement, bemusement, and possible cemusement, Time’s Person of the Year for 2006, a man who drinks so much beer that he *literally* provides revenue to bars and breweries exactly equal to the amount he spends on beer, Daniel John Jacob Jingleheimer Szymborski!

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Comment From GSon
Can we make this an ARod Free Zone for the next hour?

Dan Szymborski: YOU ALREADY DONE BROKEN IT!

Comment From Jon
Would trading for Justin Morneau help the Pirates? He could take over for Jones’ side of the 1B platoon and push Jones into a RF platoon with Tabata.

Dan Szymborski: Honestly, very marginal upgrade. Morneau’s toasty.

Comment From zack
How awesome will the wave of righteous anger be when AROD ties Willy Mays on the all time home run list?

Dan Szymborski: Good ol’ MLB. A-Rod was such a fun guy to make fun of with his tone-deaf antics, but MLB’s so incompetent and overbearing that I now sympathize with him.

Comment From Hi, Im Big Boy Brandon son of Anne
who’s your daddy and what does he do

Dan Szymborski: Well, my daddy died back in the late 90s, so I presume decomposing?

Comment From Girardis left cross
CC…wtf? I get that the velo is down but doesn’t the guy know how to pitch?

Dan Szymborski: He had been getting through with lower velocity early on, but now he just looks so hittable. Almost like everybody suddenly realized his stuff’s not as solid as it used to be

Comment From GSon
XB, just promoted to the Sawx.. project his 40 (or so) game totals for the remainder of the 2013 season..

Dan Szymborski: Mid 700s OPS, I think.

Comment From Pete
What type of pitch is most common when a pitcher intentionally throws at a batter?

Dan Szymborski: Fastball not at top velocity.

Comment From zack
Will BJ upton ever not suck again?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Marjinwalker
Welcome to the show, d’Arnaud and X-Box. Am I wrong to think that the playing time for both will be a bit sparse, though?

Dan Szymborski: They’ll get the ABs, but neither will just be given scads of playing time, I don’t think

Dan Szymborski: d’Arnaud has the easier road, simply because it’s logical

Dan Szymborski: Though it was also logical to trade Marlon Byrd for whatever they could get…

Comment From peachesnnuts
what does ZiPS say for Jose Abreu? did you post it and i’m just dumb?

Dan Szymborski: I’m likely doing a piece on him when he signs, so I’m holding that off.

Comment From person
So I’m likely in the playoffs in my H2H keeper, but have my wagon hitched to Matt Harvey. Staring an innings shutdown in the face for the money rounds, I’ve got an offer on the table of Adam Jones + Gio for the entirety of Harvey’s future awesomeness. Decisions, decisions ….

Dan Szymborski: It really depends on just *how* stringent your keeper rules are.

Dan Szymborski: But remember, flags fly forever.

Dan Szymborski: Until the sun increases in size enough to incinerate everything on earth, leaving the planet a dark, lifeless shell for eons.

Comment From Jon
What’s your prediction for how the NL Central finishes up?

Dan Szymborski: I think STL pulls it off and PIT/CIN very close behind.

Dan Szymborski: I still believe the Cards are the most talented team, top-to-bottom, of the 3

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
I hope Morneau is toasty. It can get pretty cold and lonely on a winter night in Minnesota.

Dan Szymborski: The buttery toast kind.

Comment From Alex
EUIV, best game of the century that most will never play? Really, really great game if you haven’t gotten it yet and you like Civ you need to get it.

Dan Szymborski: I preordered, but haven’t had a whole lot of time in it as I had couple TF2 scrims this week and a CK2 game I’m still working on.

Comment From Rated Rookie
Do cranky, slow-to-heal high ankle sprains like that of Oscar Taveras dim any long-term projections for him?

Dan Szymborski: Nah, he’ll be fine. Smart to just rest him.

Comment From John Farrells Bullpne Missmanagement
Is this chat from one month in the future? Are the Pirates still in first? Have the Red Sox had an epic collapse?

Dan Szymborski: The world of September 19, 2013 is similar to the world where you are, on August 19, 2013, except the weather is a few degrees cooler in the northern hemisphere!

Dan Szymborski: I SEND YOU A DARK VISION OF REQUIRING A LIGHT JACKET SOME MORNINGS

Comment From Gila Monster
I know this has been suggested before, but why hasn’t A-Rod just turned completely heel? Everyone loves a great villain,his

Dan Szymborski: That’s my take. Embrace the hatred. Nobody’s going to love you. Crowd boos? GESTURE FOR MORE. Throw salt in Dustin Pedroia’s eyes! While walking to plate, hold up blown up photos of Red Sox losses.

Comment From zack
How much money will Lincecum get this offseason?

Dan Szymborski: I think 2/20

Comment From John
Well this just took a morbid turn…so errrr…yeah.

Dan Szymborski: He asked the question!

Comment From Jon
Has your opinion of Giancarlo Stanton changed at all after a down year so far? Has his price dropped for teams looking to acquire in the off-season?

Dan Szymborski: It probably cuts back his ceiling a little bit, but he’s had a very injury-filled year

Dan Szymborski: Ain’t nobody getting him at a discount.

Comment From zack
Will Matt Carpenter be the cardinals everyday 3rd basemen next season?

Dan Szymborski: Honestly, too soon to really guess how it shakes out yet.

Comment From Shark Mapiro
What do you predict as the Indians’ starting rotation next year?

Dan Szymborski: Not all that dissimilar. You have to pick up Jimenez’s 8 million option

Dan Szymborski: Obviously Z-Mac and Masterson

Dan Szymborski: Kluber, Salazar

Comment From Jon
I agree Morneau is toast, not exciting. Any other options to help the Pirates improve their run-scoring?

Dan Szymborski: At this point, nothing very interesting at all.

Dan Szymborski: Interesting was for July. In August, to be slightly interesting, yo uhave to pick up some lousy contracts

Comment From Tim E.
Dan – Hosmer leads the MLB in distance per home run and is 26th in batted ball distance (ahead of quite a few established power hitters). Would you take this to mean that he has the potential for a significant power increase (which could in theory result in a drop in his BA) or is it just random data?

Dan Szymborski: I’ve been calling for big Hosmer breakout for 2 years, despite him continually making me look stupid, so I’m certainly not going to be less bullish after he seems to be putting it all together.

Comment From Cochise
should i start Arod over Lawrie in a shallow roto league?

Dan Szymborski: I wouldn’t.

Comment From GSon
Javier Baez.. has seen a power surge that is making Cubbie fans everwhere droooooool.. His recent promotion to the AA Tennessee Smokeys hasn’t slowed down his power numbers..but a dark cloud has appeared on the horizon, a K-Rate that has risen from the low 20 % area to just over 30 % in nearly 200 PA, It rivals Mark Reynolds!! Should Cubbie fans be worried?

Dan Szymborski: I would not worry yet. He’s still a very young player and given how well he’s been hitting the ball, it’s not unexpected that he’s swinging at a lot of stuff right now

Comment From Dr. Met
Are you a believer of the Hoes… as in his recent good destruction of Cali pitching?

Dan Szymborski: I still see him as a long-term solid 4th OF type

Comment From Ramon
If you have two guys with identical stats for a season but the first one had a crappy April and May and a great August and Sept, and the other had a great April and May but a crappy August and Sept, would ZiPS for the following season (assuming all else equal) project them equally or would it take into account the arcs of their respective seasons?

Dan Szymborski: I haven’t found any significant value in the month-by-month splits. There may be signal there, but it’s hidden under piles and piles of noise

Comment From Tim
Why has Anibal Sanchez turned into one of the very best pitchers in the league this year?

Dan Szymborski: His changeup has looked filthy to me this year, though I havent checked the charts to see if reality matches my belief.

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
So the Phillies are giving away something called a “John Kruk Action Figure” at this Fridays game. Two questions: Is the figure anatomically correct, and can you look 14 and under?

Dan Szymborski: Most action figures are not completely anatomically correct, though I’m not an anatomy expert.

Comment From zack
Who is the worst manager in baseball?

Dan Szymborski: Yost

Comment From Dewey
Can you guys collectively proclaim Smoak has broken through his struggles and is now primed for a long MLB career, so we can get past this and he can go back to being a failed prospect?

Dan Szymborski: I’ll say yes. I was very skeptical, but he really has turned it around enough that he can be taken seriously again

Comment From Sean
Can it be argued that Cabrera is having one of the best non-Bonds seasons since the 50s?

Dan Szymborski: Yes.

Dan Szymborski: Especially offensively – his defense moves him down a bit

Comment From James
Vegas odds now have Dodgers as WS favorite. Great team, but don’t buy that yet. You?

Dan Szymborski: Atlanta my favorite.

Comment From person
re: Harvey. We keep up to five players (as top-5 draft picks) with no limit on how many seasons. Harvey definitely makes the cut, Gio likely not. Jones is on the line, but I’ve also got Carlos Gomez patrolling CF so there’s some redundancy

Dan Szymborski: Oooo, then it’s harder to let Harvey go. What you need to do is sit down and estimate just how much Harvey on an IP count would hurt you, rather than think in binary terms.

Comment From Justin
Will history remember Miggy Cabrera as the greatest hitter who looked like a chubby 10-year-old?

Dan Szymborski: Heh.

Dan Szymborski: Speaking of guys that look like chubby 10 year olds, check out Hector Luna’s domination of NPB this year.

Comment From Debbie Downer
Would there be anything sadder than Pittsburgh finishing a dozen games over .500 but missing the postseason?

Dan Szymborski: It would be sad, but quite difficult – they’re practically guaranteed a postseason spot, though obviously it could be the 1-game round. Still counts as postseason though!

Comment From Frogs
I’m looking to trade Addison Reed in my 20 team dynasty league. Is targeting *elite* offensive prospects like Yelich, Rendon, etc a reasonable start?

Dan Szymborski: Yes. Closers, you want to burn ’em then churn ’em

Comment From Chris Davis
Trout and Cabrera suck, trust me when I say this. I’m an expert.

Comment From RotoLando
I’ve created a new line of casual businesswear by cutting the legs off my slacks. “Slorts” is a horrible name, so I’ve decided to call them “Szymborskis”

Dan Szymborski: I like gym shorts around the house. They wick moisture on hot days or when I have to bite the bullet and finally mow the lawn and I can pretend that I was at the gym.

Comment From Stomper
Who’s at the top of your video game developer Power Rankings?

Dan Szymborski: Haven’t given it much thought. Based on hours I play, Valve and Paradox Interactive.

Comment From Andy
Is it time to start panicking about the Pirates collapsing again?

Dan Szymborski: No

Comment From zack
More likely to pitch again in the majors: Mark Prior or Rich Harden?

Dan Szymborski: Possibly Prior.

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
A-Rod throwing a fireball at Jose Reyes as he rounds second base after a homer would be classic.

Comment From Hobo Vittles
Is Kris Medlen going to becaome an ace again, or is the guy who keeps offering him to me for all my good players smokoing some form of crystalized cocaine that I’ve taken to calling “crack”?

Dan Szymborski: I think the ace people got too excited. He’s not going to be an ace again, though he can be a very solid pitcher

Comment From zack
Who makes the playoffs sooner: Marlins or Phillies?

Dan Szymborski: Phillies – the team is lousy, but they do have scenarios in the next year where they could get close enough to be itneresting

Comment From Jon
I get that Indians isn’t *as* offensive as Redskins as far as team nicknames go, but I still think Cleveland should be awesome and change their name to the Spiders.

Dan Szymborski: Or go full on heel like A-Rod and pick a *more* offensive name.

Comment From Travis
SSS, but Heyward’s been absolutely fantastic in the leadoff spot. Think he sticks there next season?

Dan Szymborski: Probably not.

Comment From Ben
Do you see Matt Adams getting a starting job with STL next year? What do you see his upside comp as?

Dan Szymborski: I see him to have to go the Craig super route for a couple of years.

Comment From zack
Will Manny Machado ever start taking walks?

Dan Szymborski: It’s never going to be one of his strong poitns

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
When you mentioned A-Rod holding photos of Red Sox losses, do you mean pictures of a prostrate David Ortiz in the parking lot after a game after a group of A-Rod’s cronies put the boots to him? Or pictures that show games scores of losing

Dan Szymborski: You could do both.

Comment From Eminor3rd
Now that I found the Free Skyrim Mod community, will I ever do anything else again?

Dan Szymborski: Well, you have to eat and drink or you will likely die.

Comment From Shark Mapiro
I think Jimenez’s option is basically a mutual option because he was traded (he can void it or something), so do you think he will take 1/8, or void it and see if someone pays him something longer term?

Dan Szymborski: Ack, was not aware of it, I thought from memory that it was a straight option

Dan Szymborski: If so, I think he probably opts out. 1/8 is nothing these days.

Comment From Daniel
Hi Dan, big fan of Fangraphs. two part question. A lot of people compared Wil Myers to Jay Bruce before Myers got called up. Based on the small sample of how Myers has been what would you say his ceiling is?

Dan Szymborski: I still think of Wil Myers as Danny Tartabull-esque

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think he’s going to be a superstar, but a more “ordinary” star, if that makes any sense

Comment From Daniel
2nd part. Do the Rays have enough offense to make it to the World Series?

Dan Szymborski: If you have enough offense to make the playoffs, you have enough to make the World Series.

Comment From b.now
How in the world does Chris Davis have a .306 batting average with 149 strike outs. That has to be by far the highest average in a season with that many K’s..

Dan Szymborski: He has enough power that he’s got a high BABIP that he can mostly keep

Comment From Rated Rookie
Is the end of the Bonifacio era in Toronto a harbinger of Lawrie’s return to 2B in 2014?

Dan Szymborski: Blue Jays keep publicly changing their mind on his position – I’m not sure what they’re going to do, to be honest

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
I would like A-Rod to buy time on the jumbotrons in opposing ballparks so that he can deliver promos.

Comment From Jon
Given that his 20 year old season in MLB was incredibly bland, how many years do you predict until Profar is a top 5 at his position.

Dan Szymborski: I’m not unduly worried about his bland 20-year-old big gulp in the majors – he’s 20!

Dan Szymborski: He’ll be fine

Comment From CJ
Is Alex Wood the best starting pitcher for the Braves this year? He has been dynamite since they started using him as a starter.

Dan Szymborski: I know I keep saying I don’t think he’s more suited to the bullpen long-term, but that last start’s making me disagree with myself

Dan Szymborski: I have nothing to back it up, but watching him, it seems that knuckle-curvey thing he started using this year gets better every start

Dan Szymborski: I’ve watched his last 3 starts and it’s been moving like supermodels away from me when I get near them

Comment From Prich
Nelson Cruz… Is the value there as a DH on a buy-low contract?

Dan Szymborski: Yes.

Comment From Todd
Is Ivan Nova good now?

Dan Szymborski: I hope so. I listed him in my breakout 2013 candidates piece last September and named him several times as the guy most likely to crush his ZiPS projection this year

Comment From Daniel
If the contracts were identical would you as a GM of a team rather sign Choo or Ellsbury?

Dan Szymborski: Ellsbury, even with his injury history

Comment From Ramon
If Yost is the worst who is the best manager in MLB?

Dan Szymborski: Maddon

Comment From WorkDrone
If I didn’t have frequent FanGraphs chats to catch, I would probably go mad at work and lose all hope in life.

Dan Szymborski: Now i’m going to feel guilty when I take a year off

Dan Szymborski: err a week off

Comment From LarryA
Why is Miggy getting intentionally walked at a rate nowhere close to Bonds. Is it more a testament to Bonds or has strategy significantly changed over the years?

Dan Szymborski: Bonds slugged .800 over a *4 year period* remember

Comment From Luigi
Wondering what you think about Matt Adams. Do you think given full-time PT he could be a top tier 1b (at least offensively)?

Dan Szymborski: I wouldn’t say top tier, but I think he’d be in the 55th-to-70th percentile.

Comment From John
So I know it would be best for the Twins to trade Perkins. But Perkins is awesome, so I struggle. You ever wanted your team to do something irrational because it pleased you?

Dan Szymborski: Yes.

Dan Szymborski: I’d *still* be pleased if the O’s signed Mickey Tettleton. Now. Just to get closure on that HORRIFIC TETTLETON TRADE THAT MADE ME VERY ANGRY AT THE TIME

Comment From Maxamuz
Lucas Duda and Braun, who makes Hall of Fame first?

Dan Szymborski: Still Braun

Dan Szymborski: He has the better chance of putting up HoF type numbers and there’s at least some chance that decades down the road, Grownup Time happens and people are able to deal with the fact that players have been pushing the envelop with illegal PEDs going back to at least the early 60s.

Comment From The Oriole Bird
Since I asked you last week whether Brian Roberts has become an expensive team chaplain, he has moved into the positive side of the WAR ledger. Good for him!

Dan Szymborski: I can do reverse jinxes. I mock-praised Francoeur and they released him. Then I announced to Cards fans that I would only say nice things about Ty Wigginton. I did and a week later, Wiggy hit the waiver wire.

Dan Szymborski: And Eric Hosmer got hot immediately after I said that I was going to stop jinxing him by calling him a breakout candidate.

Comment From Eminor3rd
I think you should write a whole article about your A Rod villain ideas. The one where he mimics injecting himself during a homer trot makes me laugh for like 4 minutes every day

Dan Szymborski: Oh yeah, I forgot about that idea. Did I answer this exact same question last week?

Dan Szymborski: Because now I remember suggesting that he should mock inject his biceps after every home run.

Comment From STiVo
Coolstandings has the Orioles playoff odds at 33%. Sound about right to you?

Dan Szymborski: Hard to say exactly because I don’t know *exactly* what goes into the Cool standings cake.

Dan Szymborski: Am I still here? My internet hiccuped

Comment From The other Kyle
Could it be that Miggy is really Manny from “Modern Family”? Miggy-Manny, Manny-Miggy. Makes you think, huh?

Comment From BarryFractionalBonds
At which point does the average age of positional players for a team become a source of concern?

Dan Szymborski: Generally past 30, because as a group, the players will likely decline, so the players have to be good enough to compensate you for that downside risk

Comment From balticfox
Jim Johnson: given that he cost the O’s 6.5 million this year and has struggled at times, will the O’s let him walk as a free agent at season’s end?

Dan Szymborski: I think they’ll still try to keep them. As I say, closers that aren’t of the super elite category have a shorter shelf life than mayonnaise from the dollar store.

Comment From GSon
The Cleveland Indians became the Indians as an honor to Luis “the Deerfoot of the Diamond” Sockalexis, a full blooded Penobscott Indians who was the first native American to play in the Major Leagues. Simply stated, the controversy in the name is misplaced

Dan Szymborski: Try, but you have to remember the semantic shift of terms over time. Retarded used to be the *nice* thing to say, but now I’m told I’m not allowed to say it

Dan Szymborski: Even though I spent my formative years calling my friends retards, with no thought of smearing the developmentally disabled

Comment From RotoLando
I think A-Rod should use D-X’s “suck it” to celebrate a HR

Comment From balticfox
Vogelbach or Gallo more likely to be hitting bombs in a couple of yrs at 1B?

Dan Szymborski: Gallo I think.

Comment From Dave
Why does Neil Walker insist on switch hitting? He’s terrible at it.

Dan Szymborski: You’d be surprised how many switch hitters have huge splits.

Comment From Frank with an F
Do Lincecum and Jimenez show that pitchers with unorthodox deliveries crash harder than normal pitchers?

Dan Szymborski: I think you have to be careful drawing too many conclusions.

Dan Szymborski: Pitchers as a group crash more often than a plane that I build myself without any knowledge on how planes fly

Comment From JPM
The Ravens have a Royal Farms logo on their field now. That is all.

Dan Szymborski: They have great potato wedge things at Royal Farms

Dan Szymborski: I ate so many of those growing up – one of my best friends Phil lived right down the street from Royal Farms in riderwood MD, so we were there a lot

Comment From Gila Monster
Can we please create a MLB-WWE cross

Comment From Maxamuz
I hope you take a year off.

Comment From Maxamuz
Take a year off Dan or the kittens will be after you.

Comment From Downtown Dom
Will Dominic Brown get even better or do you see this as his ceiling?

Dan Szymborski: No, I don’t think he’s getting better than this.

Comment From miggy
somebody got the date horribly wrong on this post, somebody is getting fired!

Dan Szymborski: Wait, what?

Comment From Maxamuz
Let’s just take 5 seconds and dance. Ok..back to chatting.

Comment From Maxamuz
WAIT, are you telling me LUCAS DUDA HAS A CHANCE TO BE IN THE HOF?!?!

Dan Szymborski: Rounds to zero.

Dan Szymborski: But it’s a chance.

Comment From AJT
If you could be a character in any show/book/movie etc, what would you be a character in?

Dan Szymborski: Can I be in a web page?

Dan Szymborski: If i can be on a web page, I want to be in this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forbes_list_of_billionaires

Dan Szymborski: If not, It’s Always Sunny

Dan Szymborski: I am slightly deranged and drink lots of beer.

Comment From Dan
How does Zips handle IBBs? For instance 7 of Maness’ 10 BB’s in 45+ innings have been intentional. Also, better control, Otero or Maness?

Dan Szymborski: In-season, it’s treated very simply. Season-to-season, ZiPS has a separate model for IBB and regular ones

Comment From Fred
Have we reached the point where Cabrera is not just the best player in Baseball but the best player in American team sports (sorry LeBron)

Dan Szymborski: He’s the best hitter, but *player* defense does count and it brings him down a little to the other elites

Comment From Baseball Writer
30 yrs from now, do I forgive one of the best hitters of all time, Pete Rose, for being a knucklehead? Plenty of knuckleheads in baseball, even though he was the only one dumb enough to bet.

Dan Szymborski: I think you can’t forgive him while he’s alive, simply because he’ll be so obnoxious about it that you’d wish you didn’t

Comment From AJT
Will Venable underrated? He seems to fly a bit under the radar for his production.

Dan Szymborski: I think his power spike will not be sustained – he’s usually about the averagest player on earth at like everything.

Dan Szymborski: Which isn’t bad, average players are valuable

Comment From LBEST
WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT THIS SECOND?

Dan Szymborski: The screams of the dying in my basement as they try to figure out if they should scream for death or life.

Dan Szymborski: Or Immaculate Machine “You Got Us into This Mess”

Dan Szymborski: one of those

Comment From Dan
What did you dislike about the attitude era? I thought it had no shortage of great angles etc, and only slightly worse wrestling. HBK et al were putting on plenty of 4* ish matches amidst the wackiness.

Dan Szymborski: How did this become wrestling chat? The midcard had some terribly underutilized workers

Comment From John
Man I forgot how bad that Tettleton trade was, what was the rationale at the time? Purely arbitration cost based?

Dan Szymborski: batting average and strikeouts

Dan Szymborski: Seriously, the O’s bitched constantly about that

Dan Szymborski: You know why the O’s got Glenn Davis? Because they *didn’t actually know* that Randy Milligan was good

Comment From Maxamuz
Lightning round…COMMENCE!

Dan Szymborski: Good timing, got to this right at 1:00

Comment From AJT
This is amusing from Jeff Sullivan: https://twitter.com/based_ball/status/369500815393689600

Dan Szymborski: doesn’t work for me!

Comment From TitoInSloMo
Speaking of the Indians why are they not stealing bags at a record pace? Out of Bourn, Kipnis, Stubbs, and Cabrera, only Kipnis has a reasonable amount of attempts.

Dan Szymborski: Francona likes conservative, high-success stealing.

Comment From Maxamuz
What would happen if A Rod came out as homosexual? Would the collective group explode?

Dan Szymborski: A-Rod’s so hated that it would cause all states to repeal their gay marriage laws.

Comment From LarryA
Adam Dunn: .313 avg since beginning of June. Can he challenge for a batting title in 2014?

Dan Szymborski: No.

Comment From Izzy
Once a player is promoted, ZIPS ROS projections don’t incorporate their minor league stats from this season, right?

Dan Szymborski: Correct, on FG. When *I* give one, it does use their minor league stats.

Dan Szymborski: FG doesn’t have a translation setup.

Comment From Rain Dog
Is Matt Holliday an “ordinary star”?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, that’s about what I consider an “ordinary star”

Comment From Dan
Is Donnie Murphy an underrated sort as basically average at 3 IF positions with big pop for said positions?

Dan Szymborski: I think so – but you have to prepared that he’ll have some rough slumps as he’s not a patient hitter

Comment From Cochise
Do you think cargo will come back strong?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Dan
Also, MLE’s for Amador and the other signing please? You can’t be getting an article from a minor Houston signing, can you?

Dan Szymborski: I had Amador in the .720 OPS range, Heras in the mid 600s

Dan Szymborski: There’s a *lot* of air in Mexican League stats

Dan Szymborski: It’s been years since the ERA was significantly below 5 and th Diablos Rojos play in a park that regularly has park factors for R and HR in the 130 range

Comment From Eminor3rd
A-Rod should donate a $1000 to a large, private banking corporation every time he hits a homer

Comment From Gila Monster
Is Barry Bonds a first ballot hall of famer? He is the best player of all time. Plus there is no proof of PED use post JDA.

Dan Szymborski: Well, by the strictest definition, absolutely not, given that he didn’t make the hall of fame on his first ballot.

Dan Szymborski: I see absolutely zero reason to penalize players for using PEDs before 2004.

Dan Szymborski: And even if we did, there’s even less reason to consider pre-2004 PED users as somehow cheaters and Mays/Aaron/Schmidt/Rose/Snider not.

Comment From Sean
When are you gonna do one of those “guess the song” games again where you post the sound clips? That was fun as hell.

Dan Szymborski: Probably a once or twice a year thing. I don’t want to overdo it.

Comment From Russ
Local grocery store now offers a store-brand Thin Mint all year long…and we wonder why there is an obesity problem. I am going to add 400lbs between now and Thanksgiving. At least the Girl Scouts made you wait.

Dan Szymborski: Holy hell. If my grocery store had samoas and thin mints, i’d have diabetes in a year.

Dan Szymborski: If McDOnald’s ever goes all-day breakfast, I’m having a mcmuffin-induced stroke in 6 months

Comment From RotoLando
You need a gimmick, Dan. Eno has his beer thing. Your choices are limited to wrestling or shorts.

Dan Szymborski: I thought my gimmick was that i’m very strange?

Comment From Eminor3rd
A-Rod is a 2Fort sniper that taunts after every Machina kill

Dan Szymborski: A-Rod is ninjamoocow. I love making references that absolutely nobody will understand.

Comment From Maxamuz
If A = B and B = C so A = C, does that mean Bud Selig will beat up a small child?

Comment From Mazola Johnny
Did Amaro just scapegoat Charlie Manuel?

:

Comment From Insuperable, Insufferable Bastard
Do you ever stop in the middle of playing a video game and think, “I’m wasting my life, my God-given hours,” but then shrug and resume playing and say “But I having so much damn fun”?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t fret about it too much. It’s not like i’d be doing something productive.

Dan Szymborski: And being an internet baseball wanker, drinking too much beer, and playing a lot of video games worked out pretty well so far.

Comment From Travis
Tajiri’s Green Mist/Buzzsaw Kick is my favorite finisher ever.

Comment From Czarface
You really don’t care about PED use pre-2004? What about the integrity of baseball?

Dan Szymborski: What integrity? Players have been using illegal drugs for at least 50 years. I support a drug-testing agreement, but not applying made-up rules in hindsight.

Dan Szymborski: PEDs have risks, but they’ve also been overblown – PEDs aren’t one big bucket where everything is some goofy thoughtless stereotype of east germany in the early 80s.

Comment From Dan
Do you get the Edy’s/Dreyer’s Girl Scout Ice creams on sale, melt them and eat the samoas and thin mints within? That seems like your best play.

Dan Szymborski: I didn’ tknow they had those

Comment From Diabetes
Only a year? Be honest, Dan. I’d be coming for you in a week, maybe less.

Dan Szymborski: True story: Had recent physical and blood work done. Blood pressure, heart rate, cholesterol, glucose levels all perfectly fine.

Dan Szymborski: But my doctor was seriously annoyed – I think he wanted them to be bad as impetus for me to lose weight

Comment From GSon
you have to improve significantly to get alllllll the way up to very strange..

Comment From RotoLando
Great, now I have “Real American” stuck in my head. Thanks, Dan.

Dan Szymborski: I am a Real American. Fight for the rights of every man!

Comment From Liver Cells
What about me?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t appear to have a yellowish hue.

Dan Szymborski: On that note, time to log off for another week.

Dan Szymborski: Hope to see you all next week! Thanks for joining me.

Dan Szymborski: As my usual reminder, you can find most of my work at ESPN.com, my weekly chat and projections here on FanGraphs, DSzymborski on Twitter, and wherever overweight nerd writers are worshiped as gods and given offerings of barbecue and pork rinds in return for fertile growing seasons, wombs, and eternal bliss.

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