Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 9/21/15

Dan Szymborski: LATE LET US GET STARTED QUICKLY

Comment From WHAM!
You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky high when your lovin’ starts…

Dan Szymborski: For those that don’t follow me on Twitter, I shared the dark secret of a family member. They think that the first line is Chilibug

Comment From hscer
so…early 2015 Strasburg was ____

Dan Szymborski: 5 months younger than he is now.

Comment From Zonk
New Brewers GM David Stearns…..now what in Milwaukee? An Astros-style teardown?

Dan Szymborski: That would be smart. The Mozeliak/Luhnow family tree is going to have a lot of GMs in 5 years

Comment From Zonk
Should/can the Brewers trade Ryan Braun? 5/105 left after this year, but nearly full NTC.

Dan Szymborski: They should but they won’t and I’m not sure they can without eating

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, he’s having a really good year, but he’s already 31

Comment From RotoLando
Oh my God its 12:03! Dan, are you okay! DAN! DAN! Well, it looks like the cats have finally done it.

Dan Szymborski: I was actually irrigating my ear then got distracted by Twitter

Comment From JP Morosi
Can you please inform the public that my tweet that suggested the pirates should start Locke in the NLDS is stupid and should be ignored? Thanks Dan!

Dan Szymborski: The only reason Locke should start in a playoff game is it’s Losing Edge situation like in South Park and the team just wants to go home and enjoy their October golfing before the weather starts getting cold

Comment From Los
I moved from Pittsburgh to Chicago last week. Can you push these chats back an hour so that I can join the chats at noon or are you going to make me adjust to 11 am chatting?

Dan Szymborski: You will have to adjust. It’s not my fault you moved to an inferior time zone.

Comment From GSon
there’s Szymborski being fashionably tardy again..

Dan Szymborski: I’m a dedicated follower of fashion.

Dan Szymborski: It’s not my fault, I love discoteques.

Comment From The Big Dipper
Thoughts on CC?

Dan Szymborski: It is a metric unit of volume. Cm^3 is preferable to cc.

Comment From GSon
So.. Correa or Lindor for AL ROY?

Dan Szymborski: If voting, I’d probably take Lindor right now, but think Correa has it

Comment From hscer
If I were asking you an arithmetic question about Strasburg, I’d have put it in the lightning round as an arithmetic question 😛

Dan Szymborski: But if I figure out you’re trying to cheat a baseball Q in there, there will be repercussions.

Comment From sam
bryce harper has a 295 wRC+ and a 1.543 OPS in the month of september. has anyone since bonds had a month that good? (assuming he keeps it up)

Dan Szymborski: None of the top of my head.

Comment From Hareeb al-Saq
On a scale of Dusty Baker to Donald Trump, how stupid is it that takeout slides are still allowed?

Dan Szymborski: Kirk Gibson?

Comment From Zonk
Given the “third time through the order” penalty, will any team try something radical to maximize results? Like, 2 piggybacking LH/RH “starters” pitching every 3rd day?

Dan Szymborski: Not really as you need to design very different staffs. I don’t like tandems because they have to be so carefully calibrated and can fall apart easily

Comment From The Big Dipper
and he’s having back surgery in the offseason…

Comment From RotoLando
The fantasy baseball season is coming to an end. Are you still in the hunt for any titles? Do you have any crazy moves left?

Comment From Natitude Adjuster
What does your model think are the Nats’ chances of making the playoffs? (Chance of play-in game vs. Mets?) I harbor a mostly delusional feeling about their odds and I’d love to hear what you think.

Dan Szymborski: I think that’s a bit high.

Comment From hscer
Fangraphs has the Nationals at 2.2% in the NL East. Where do you have them?

Dan Szymborski: Sorry, meant to post both Qs

Dan Szymborski: Haven’;t run ZiPS standings this morning

Comment From Q-Ball
Pick one: Sano, or Schwarber?

Dan Szymborski: That’s a mean Q.

Dan Szymborski: Possibly Sano in a tie, just because I think the chances of Sano playing 3rd are ever-so-slightly higher than Schwarber at catcher.

Comment From GSon
By moving from Pittsburgh to Chicago and the relative tardiness of the start, my noon chat experience is maintained..

Comment From Cards Fan
I’m a Cards fan. Are we really the most insufferable fans in baseball, or is that just other fans being jealous of our undeniable superiority?

Dan Szymborski: Cards fans can be pretty insufferable, but they also have legit bragging rights to supporting their team.

Dan Szymborski: St. Louis isn’t a big market – it ranks just behind Sacramento in Nielsen media markets. But the fans support the team and that allows the team to punch above its weight

Comment From The Big Dipper
Do you think Ryan Braun and Aaron Rodgers are lovers?

Dan Szymborski: I lack the requisite knowledge to form an opinion.

Comment From Phillies113
Which team that, if the season ended today would be in the playoffs, will in fact NOT make the playoffs?

Dan Szymborski: None. I think th eplayoffs will be all the teams that are currently in the playoffs.

Comment From TJH
Looking for a spot starter today in points league – Ubaldo, Niese and Erik Johnson are available. Any preference? …Best of the worst?

Dan Szymborski: Niese

Comment From Q-Ball
Pick one: Francisco Lindor, or Addison Russell?

Dan Szymborski: Lindor

Comment From Q-Ball
Pick one: Kris Bryant, or Carlos Correa?

Dan Szymborski: Correa

Comment From The Big Dipper
Instead of being a smartass can you answer the question about how you feel about CC SABATHIA and his apparent resurgence?

Dan Szymborski: Yes, I can.

Comment From Aranathor
Are we just going to have to get used to the fact that formerly terrible pitchers can, without warning, be suddenly great in their late twenties?

Dan Szymborski: Pitchers are weird.

Comment From mtsw
Can the Orioles truthers who think their bullpen/defense allow them to systematically outperform projections hold onto the fact their run diffential is substantially better than BaseRuns predicted? Or does 2015 basically prove everyone who thought they were just lucky in 2014 correct?

Dan Szymborski: There’s this weird idea that the bullpen quality is a huge factor in one-run-game record.

Dan Szymborski: And it should be noted that the 2014 Tigers were substantially better in one-run games than the 2014 Royals were.

Comment From RotoLando
Please describe “alternate universe” Dan Szymborski to us,

Dan Szymborski: He has brown hair, is in great shape, is in a job he hates, is a Mormon, his mom died when he was 19, he drives a car called a Adzam somehow, and hamburgers eat him.

Comment From Pete
Why are the Brewers talking about Lucroy returning this year? Why take the chance? Isn’t it better just to let him rest and get healthy for 2016?

Dan Szymborski: Brewers gotta Brew.

Comment From jake
are you ready for a decade of trout vs. harper debates?

Dan Szymborski: Absolutely. Debating awesomeness is awesome.

Comment From Zonk
By results, the Cubs #3 starter these days seems to be “Bullpen Day”. Should we be worried for the playoffs?

Dan Szymborski: Not overly

Comment From Lineup Setter
Setting my lineup for championship week. Would you start Carlos Santana (3 @ MIN, 3 @ KC) over Miguel Sano (3 vs. CLE, 3 @ DET)? I don’t like those matchups vs. Salazar and Kluber for Sano (H2H league, so K’s are bad.)

Dan Szymborski: I’d take Sano

Comment From Johnny5Alive
is this the beginning of the end for the mets… 6 games seems like a lot, but when you cant throw your best pitcher more than 5 innings and your other best pitcher you need to skip because of fatigue… is this the downside on relying on young pitching?

Dan Szymborski: 6 games *is* a lot right now.

Dan Szymborski: Me having a 10 foot lead on Usain Bolt in a foot race seems small. But if I’m at 9.9 meters, it’s a gigantic lead.

Dan Szymborski: Now obviously, this scenario having happened involved me getting a significant heat start on Bolt.

Comment From Natitude Adjuster
Where does Dan Snyder (Redskins) fall in the continuum of contemptible sports owners?

Dan Szymborski: Quite obnoxious. Lowest stire

Dan Szymborski: tier

Dan Szymborski: STIRE?

Dan Szymborski: I spelled tier STIRE?

Comment From RotoLando
Do you prefer leagues with a trading deadline, or do you like to have teams trading right up to the last day of the season? Does H2H make a difference?

Dan Szymborski: Trading deadline

Comment From Bob
Think Cole will have his start skipped this week? Any chance of the same happening to Strasburg? Weekly fantasy league problems

Dan Szymborski: Is there a story I missed? Didn’t they already skip a start to get him aligned for the WC game?

Comment From RotoLando
Bringing leftover Buffalo wings to work for lunch, while wearing a white shirt….what was I thinking?

Dan Szymborski: You were greatly overrating your ability to eat buffalo wings neatly.

Comment From The Big Dipper
You’re kind of a childish prick.

Dan Szymborski: I’ve been doing these chats for what, 4 years? It should have dawned on you way before this.

Comment From Raoul Duke
should I drop Tanaka or pray that he makes a start late in the week?

Dan Szymborski: I wouldn’t count on it.

Dan Szymborski: They’re making it clear they don’t wnat him ptiching while the hammy is sore and hammy soreness can be annoying

Comment From Natitude Adjuster
Do you think Harper might surpass 11.0 WAR this season?

Dan Szymborski: Outside chance in bWAR at least, but needs some fortune

Comment From SouthSider
I get the feeling the White Sox aren’t going anywhere….they’ll re-tool for next year, and produce the same mediocrity. Tell me I am wrong?

Dan Szymborski: You are wrong. But I’m only saying that because you requested it.

Dan Szymborski: The White Sox did make a real offseason effort to improve, but when it went bad, they should’ve made more of an effort to retool a little for the future

Dan Szymborski: Though it woudl be tricky given the specific contracts

Comment From Pete
Betts or Marte? They have shocking similar numbers this year.

Dan Szymborski: Betts – 4 years is pretty signficiant

Dan Szymborski: What is it with me and spelling today?

Dan Szymborski: STIRES?

Comment From hscer
We are already 3 years into that decade of Trout v Harper

Comment From Jocketty
Pick One: Paul Maholm or Kevin Gregg

Dan Szymborski: I’d let the warden make a choice.

Comment From Gary
Springer or Pederson?

Dan Szymborski: Still Pederson

Comment From Houzer
what happens to Dylan Bundy next year?

Dan Szymborski: His injuries continue to make me sad

Comment From Mike
Was the Lindor over Russell a glove+bat basis? I.e., whose bat do you like between the two? Russell due to HR power?

Dan Szymborski: Russell obviously has more power upside, but Lindor has serious glove potential

Dan Szymborski: And the fact is Lindor *is* displaying significant offensive development

Comment From Tom
Dan, you did not miss a story. They pushed Cole back a week ago but he should not be skipped going forward. They are, however, pushing Liriano back to the Chicago series and not pitching him in Denver

Comment From Love the Mariners
8 years left at $196mil for Cano. Please tell me this won’t be a disaster for the team. Maybe lying would help?

Dan Szymborski: Well, it’ll turn out better than Howard

Dan Szymborski: It did make my Top 10 of Worst Contracts Remaining for this year

Comment From Hareeb al-Saq
You should see how I spelled “annul sect’s contracts”

Comment From RotoLando
So…how bout that CC Sabathia guy?

Dan Szymborski: I’m continually annoyed that he isn’t C.C. Sabathia. Ain’t nobody better than periods.

Comment From The Average Sports Fan
How many managers get fired this offseason?

Dan Szymborski: Are we coutning Ausmus who is the fired manager to be named later?

Dan Szymborski: Williams, Ventura, Jennings, Price, McClendon I think

Comment From RotoLando
There seems to be no practical way to eat buffalo wings with a plastic knife and fork either. F-it, I’m going in…

Dan Szymborski: You’d look like a tool

Comment From Tom
Gonzalez or Rodriguez?

Dan Szymborski: Rodriguez’s have Alex historically, which is a pretty big deal

Comment From Pirates Hurdles
So how much should I really care if the WC game is in PIT or CHC (besides personal reasons since I have tix)? Is the odds swing big enough to lose sleep over?

Dan Szymborski: No.

Comment From JayKay
Pick one: John Cangelosi or Eric Yelding

Dan Szymborski: Cangelosi. He could get on base and Yelding wasn’t good enough defensively in the infield to really value that.

Comment From Pirates Hurdles
4 cheap years yeah, but Marte’s extension is very team friendly through 2022 or something silly

Dan Szymborski: But the 4 years affect their upsides remaining.

Comment From CAM
Do the Pirates hold on to the top WC slot? And how much will home field matter in that game?

Dan Szymborski: I think they hold onto the top WC slot and home field doesn’t matter much

Comment From Bob
Ervin Santana with a chance at 2 starts in a weekly points league where wins and IP are king or Wacha against MIL?

Dan Szymborski: Meh, I don’t want to count on Santana for anything

Comment From JayKay
Pick One: Barry Bonds or Jeff Francoeur

Dan Szymborski: While I”d like to think Bonds would still be a better hitter than Francoeur, it *has* been 8 years since he’s hit MLB pitching. I think Francoeur is better in 2015.

Comment From TKDC
Billy Hamilton is on track to be the first player ever (1871-present) to lead the Majors in stolen bases while not being a qualified hitter – what do you make of that?

Dan Szymborski: He is fast.

Comment From hscer
plastic knives and forks are tools!

Dan Szymborski: They are.

Comment From hscer
Harper 15: .343/.470/.674 | Bonds 93: .336/.458/.677

Comment From Q-Ball
Pick One: Szymborski or Cameron?

Dan Szymborski: Well, I’m going to pick myself because in any kind of vote, if someone has the opportunity to pick themself, they will.

Comment From RotoLando
I would love to find out that we have been pronouncing CC Sabathia wron gthis entire time, and that those are hard Cs.

Dan Szymborski: While he’s not C.C. Sabathia and that’s an issue, at least he’s not J.D. Drew who DOESNT KNOW HOW INITIALS WORK

Comment From James
If the Rockies eat some of the money does Reyes make sense for the M’s next year to fit within their Cruz, Cano, Felix and maybe Kuma window?

Dan Szymborski: It all depends on the money. I don’t see why the Mariners would really want Reyes though.

Dan Szymborski: At this point, I’m not sure Reyes is even in the top 3 SS options for Mariners in 2016

Comment From Tom
You’re mad at J.D. Drew? Do you realize that JA Happ doesn’t go by “J A” he goes by “jay”? WTF?!

Dan Szymborski: J.D. Drew’s name is David Jonathan.

Dan Szymborski: And I have complained about “Jay” Happ on Twitter frequently

Dan Szymborski: That’s like since I’m D.J. Szymborski, I start insisting that people start calling me “Dij Szymborski” (Kinda rhyming with bridge)

Dan Szymborski: Judd Drew. Fap Santangelo. Melvin Formerly Known as Booj Upton.

Comment From Neal
I can pronounce Dij easier than Szymborski so you’re Dij to me, Dij.

Comment From Tom
While we’re on the topic of initial-names… why would a man named Bossman Junior ever go by “BJ?” what a waste

Dan Szymborski: If my nickname was Bossman, I would not only use Bossman, I’d drop the last name and just be Bossman.

Dan Szymborski: Because Bossman Szymborski sounds stupid. Things don’t go well with Szymborski. I can never have a kid named Aristophanes. Now if I was Jones? Aristophanes Jones sounds like an awesome badass.

Comment From Pirates Hurdles
I always figured Happ was just going the J.Peterman route

Comment From SF Dave
You use Twitter to complain about stuff? Well, that’s refreshing.

Comment From James
Do you think Ketel Marte has some promise?

Dan Szymborski: Yes – he improved significantly in the minors this year too.

Comment From Guest
If Kang doesn’t get hurt, no one’s talking about that Coghlan slide, right? Watched Cards/Cubs last night, Molina started a slide at second base to slide into Russell standing well behind it, Heyward did same. We can have convo about whether these slides are appropriate, but when it starts at hemming/hawing re: that slide being “dirty,” I don’t think we’re beginning on a particularly clear-minded note.

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure it was dirty either, but I do think that MLB should at the very very least be discouraging physical plays – we want players to be healthy more than we want nostalgia of when Cobb spiked everybody

Comment From mtsw
Teams that are out of it down the stretch: better to play young, controlled guys to evaluate them or better to play impending free agents since benching them is awful for team morale and displeases agents? Buck Showalter, for example, seems to have gone hard on giving soon-to-depart Matt Wieters, Nolan Reimold, Darren O’Day and Steve Pearce a lot more playing time since the Orioles were (basically) eliminated from contention. Would they be smarter to be bench those guys in favor of team controlled assets that need additional evaluation (Urrutia, Alvarez, Jason Garcia etc)?

Dan Szymborski: Play for the future. If the team sucks and underperforms, their morale isn’t likely to be very good anyway. And if it is, who cares? You lose the moral authority to play Romper Room if you’re playign like crap.

Comment From Neal
Remember Kang’s slide earlier in the year that was about 6 feet off the bag?

Dan Szymborski: I think I actually missed that one

Comment From hscer
SB/(1B+2B+BB+HBP): SB leader Billy Hamilton .496, SB runner up Dee Gordon .265

Comment From Tommy Lasordid
Has Puig played his last game as a Dodger?

Dan Szymborski: No

Comment From Neal
I’m late have I missed anything important? Thanks Dan much appreciated Dan.

Dan Szymborski: It’s Szymborski chat. Nothing of importance transpired.

Comment From Druidiful
What do you think Greg Bird will start next season in the majors or minors?

Dan Szymborski: I think Bird’s shown enough that he’ll at least have a MLB spot heading into the spring but could still lsoe it

Comment From RotoLando
The rule should be you can slide into a player to break up a throw, but it has to be head first.

Comment From Reginald Denton III
Will Chris Sale pitch better at Detroit this week than he has lately?

Dan Szymborski: Yes.

Comment From Jon
In following Bryce Harper, I wanted to see what the highest single season OBP of all time was. Your site, i.e. Fangraphs, seems to claim that Barry Bonds had a .609 OBP in 2004. By my math, that means Bonds reached base on over 60% of his plate appearances that year. This is a typo, right?

Dan Szymborski: Bonds at that point could make you imagine typos

Comment From Guest
Knowing what we know about times-through-the-order penalties for pitchers, is it really such a benefit to have a starting pitcher leave early? In the long run, tires out bullpen, but in a given game I’d rather face Matt Harvey on his third time through than a fresh, new arm.

Dan Szymborski: Presumably a team that is more willing to pull starting pitchers earlier will also endeavor to create a bullpen that has more long men in the attempt to further that strategy

Dan Szymborski: Kinda like most people don’t make duxelle, but if you like making beef wellington, you’re more predisposed to knowing how to make duxelle, to further your beef wellington goals

Dan Szymborski: I don’t know why that was the first thing that popped into my head as an analogy

Comment From RotoLando
Also, the fielder should be able to drop a knee into your crotch.

Comment From Guest
Barry Bonds received 120 IBBs that year, more or less 3x as many as the next-highest single season number of all time. Tbh his 1992-93 seasons are much more impressive, Trout/Harper-like in their awesomeness.

Dan Szymborski: But it’s impressive in a manner that so many pitchers simply *refused* to face him.

Comment From Druidiful
Would you prefer to have your number 1 starter start game 1 or game 2 of the ALDS/NLDS?

Dan Szymborski: game 1. The sooner you used a guy, the sooner you can use a guy

Comment From Ryan
Why do people speak of Bonds’s stats with such reverence? It’s like admiring Bernie Madoff because he was so good at making money.

Dan Szymborski: Your opinion. Madoff being a crook isn’t an opinion.

Dan Szymborski: The OMG LOOK AT THE STATS doesn’t fly

Comment From Rick
Bonds being a cheater isn’t an opinion.

Dan Szymborski: Sure it is.

Dan Szymborski: How did he cheat prior to summer of 2004?

Dan Szymborski: What enforceable MLB policy was broken?

Dan Szymborski: Barry Bonds *did* cheat – he was caught using amphetamines in 2006.

Comment From Druidiful
Didn’t Bonds get unintentionally/intentionally walked once with the bases loaded during that 01-04 stretch?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Dan Szymborski: Bonds using steroids in 2002 is no more cheating than Willie Mays using and dealing amphetamines in the late 60s.

Comment From hscer
I see nobody is taking into account my usage of Bonds’ 1993 season when they complain about people enjoying his stats.

Comment From Rick
MLB’s ban on controlled substances, including steroids, went into effect in 1991

Dan Szymborski: BZZTR

Dan Szymborski: Fay Vincent did not have the authority to ban controlled substances.

Dan Szymborski: He even *admitted* he had no authority. Because he didn’t – it had already been ruled in arbitration he couldn’t singlehandedly decide drug policy.l

Dan Szymborski: He told Miklasz that in an interview some years back

Dan Szymborski: Vincent’s memo only applied to MLB personnel.

Dan Szymborski: So? He wrote a memorandum. Big fucking deal. It had no authority over players.

Dan Szymborski: Here, watch me write a law exactly as enforceable as Fay Vincent’s memo was in baseball.

Comment From Rick
http://sports.espn.go.com/e…

Dan Szymborski: As of January 1st, 2016.

Dan Szymborski: There will be a payroll tax of 1.4% on all incomes below $200,000.

Dan Szymborski: All this money will be given to Dan Szymborski.l

Dan Szymborski: Signed, Dan Szymborski.

Dan Szymborski: I have exactly the same authority to do that as Vincent did.

Comment From Rick
“Though steroids have been banned in MLB since 1991, the league did not implement leaguewide PED testing until 2003.” http://espn.go.com/mlb/topi…

Dan Szymborski: And again, that was untrue.

Dan Szymborski: Quote from Fay Vincent.

Dan Szymborski: “I sent it out because I believed it was important to take the position that steroids were dangerous, as were other illegal drugs,” Vincent said. “As you know, the union would not bargain with us, would not discuss, would not agree to any form of a coherent drug plan. So my memo really applied to all the people who were not players.”

Comment From Rick
Regardless of whether you’re willing to confront the evidence that MLB banned steroids beginning in 1991, Congress still listed them as a controlled substance. Bonds was therefore a crook just as much as Madoff.

Dan Szymborski: Again, stupid and irrelevant.

Dan Szymborski: Is a player cheating on his taxes or driving on an expired license also cheating at baseball?

Dan Szymborski: Was Lenny Dykstra cheating at baseball?

Comment From RotoLando
I think we can all agree that the power to write legally-binding memos is not a power we should leave in the hands of a man with multiple cats.

Comment From Rick
Is your argument seriously that tax evasion has the same effect on player performance as steroid use?

Dan Szymborski: Except you brought up a *legal* reason.

Dan Szymborski: Fact is, your argument is dumb and weak.

Comment From Guest
“Is a player cheating on his taxes or driving on an expired license also cheating at baseball?” That’s a bad argument and you know it. He was breaking the law in a manner that impacted hi performance at baseball. A guy who murdered his best opponents and then put up good numbers wouldn’t be “cheating at baseball” but he’d be breaking the law and helping his baseball performance.

Dan Szymborski: Again, this is preposterous. He was breaking a rule THAT DID NOT EXIST IN BASEBALL.

Comment From Ryan
Ad hominem attacks are convincing!

Dan Szymborski: When stupid people don’t like facts, it’s fair to call them stupid.

Comment From Jim
Guys stop, Dan won’t even admit that being bigger, stronger and faster helps one better at baseball. You’ll never win.

Dan Szymborski: That’s not remotely relevant.

Comment From Druidiful
I love that almost all the people so upset with steroid users turn a blind eye to amphetamine and cocaine usage in previous decades.

Dan Szymborski: but STEROIDS. I SAW A CARTOON OF EAST GERMAN SWIMMERS. BARRROIDS ROFLCOPTER

Comment From Guest
Your point is fine — it wasn’t against the rules, and it doesn’t invalidate the numbers in any way. But it makes the numbers less impressive, and any time someone says “WAU a 40-yo got IBBed more than 3x anyone else in history” it’s pretty reasonable to say “yes that happened, but it’s really not all that impressive compared to even things that very baseball player did 10+ years earlier.”

Dan Szymborski: Of course it makes it less impressive. So does doing other things that you have and others don’t.

Dan Szymborski: But it doesn’t make it cheating.

Comment From Ryan
How has anyone turned a blind eye towards the use of other drugs? They’re all prohibited, and players have been punished for using each of them.

Comment From Guest
I forget that you become petulant when your arguments are weak, this is almost as bad as when you start banging the Hayek drum.

Dan Szymborski: Point out a flaw then.

Dan Szymborski: VINCENT HIMSELF STATED HE HAD NO AUTHORITY OVER PLAYERS

Dan Szymborski: Typed in all caps just in case your illiteracy is very specific.

Comment From Tarik
Don’t let these jokers grind you down, Dan. You cant break a rule that doesn’t exist.

Comment From Guest
You realize multiple people are posting, right? You’re doing victory laps around someone else’s point that wasn’t right when they first made it.

Comment From Guest
Or should I have typed that in all caps in case your illiteracy is very specific?

Dan Szymborski: Can’t even make your own insult? Not surprising given that you can’t make your own argument.

Comment From Neal
STEROID USERS ARE TERRIBLE EXCEPT FOR THE ONES CAUGHT ON MY FAVORITE TEAM. THEY ARE CLEAN NOW OK CLEAN.

Comment From Guest
Don’t really care if it was against the rules or not, it’s just sort of a snooze compared to other feats in baseball history (including those by Bonds himself).

Comment From Cain Marko
Classic Szymborski PED chat spat

Dan Szymborski: The trolls are powerful today.

Comment From Guest
Right, this isn’t about whether it was “cheating” or not — it’s about whether the numbers are worthy of people saying “WAU CAN THOSE NUMBERS EVEN BE REAL.” Yes, they were real, and they’re kind of boring and not all that impressive tbh.

Dan Szymborski: Well yeah, IBB are kinda boring.

Comment From jg
Why is it such a no-no to use a backup catcher to pinch hit late in a close game? Seems like a pretty good risk to take, especially if it’s the usual starter like Posey or someone on his day off. You possibly get the benefit of having the guy you want at the plate in a key situation, versus the very small risk of having an injury and getting caught without a real catcher and having some infielder cost you the game and embarrass himself for a couple of innings.

Dan Szymborski: That constant fear of injury is really there, though I think it’s drastically overrated.

Dan Szymborski: And while I appreciate the submitted comments in support, I don’t need help mocking people making dishonest arguments. It’s cheating to help me out!

Comment From JayKay
Has there ever been a more disappointing name pronunciation error than Roy Oswalt? “The Wizard” makes for such a better nickname when his name is pronounced incorrectly.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, it was always disappointing.

Dan Szymborski: But most disappointing is Wily Mo Pena.

Comment From Joe
When looking at Bonds’ numbers in context of Harper or Trout, couldn’t steroids be used to adjust the numbers down just like when comparing a Rockies player to a Padre? Why does it matter if it was cheating or not?

Dan Szymborski: Because we’re already adjusting to the environment.

Dan Szymborski: Those numbers won actual games of baseball.

Dan Szymborski: We don’t subtract out every other training advantage.

Dan Szymborski: Bonds had a bigger advantage developing into a baseball player just by being related to Barry Bonds, we don’t subtract that out

Comment From mr mephistopheles

Comment From RotoLando
What’s the Hayek drum? Can I bang it?

Dan Szymborski: Well, she is quite attractive.

Comment From RotoLando
Baseball missed a real opportunity to have Cliff Lee, Matt Harvey, and Roy Oswalt as the 1-2-3 of a rotation.

Comment From Neal
Hey Dan important question much more than any PED talk. Where will Maicer Izturis end up next year that’s not the DL?

Dan Szymborski: I assume at home. It’s been what, 5 years since he’ll have contributed?

Comment From JayKay
Which would you rather have: A year of Kane v. Big Show championship matches or a year of Dusty Baker managing the NY Mets pitching staff?

Dan Szymborski: Well, Dusty Baker. I’m not a Mets fans, though it would be cruel to my Mets fan friends.

Comment From That Guy
If Harper had a 12-13 WAR year sometime in the next five seasons or so, would it even be shocking?

Dan Szymborski: It still would be as you have to have an *insane* underlying ability to make that happen for a year

Comment From RotoLando
How do you even begin to “take out” the possible effects of PEDs? Do you assign a “power enhancement factor” and remove 30 feet of batted ball distance? Then do you draw a line and retroactively say these are clean HRs, these are dirty HRs?

Dan Szymborski: And then you have the dirty pitchers and amphetamines. It’s really all very facile.

Comment From Neal
Can we have a Dan rant every week?

Dan Szymborski: Don’t we already get one?

Dan Szymborski: The advise I always get is “Just don’t post the idiot questions.” But the idiot questions are fun.

Dan Szymborski: advice

Comment From Lightning
Favorite baseball videogame?

Dan Szymborski: All time has to be baseball stars

Comment From Ryan
Thoughts on Blizzard’s coming Overwatch game?

Dan Szymborski: Looking forward to it.

Dan Szymborski: Team Fortress 2 has gotten very stale and it’ll be fun to have a new team FPS that is more fantasy than realistic

Dan Szymborski: I dont’ enjoy playing the realistic FPS games.

Comment From Lightning
What video games are you playing this week?

Dan Szymborski: Same as usual.

Dan Szymborski: Nothing new in the hopper.

Comment From Robert
Could you imagine how intense the MVP articles would be if Harper were having only a good season and people would be arguing for Joey Votto? I imagine the Votto vs Greinke vs Rizzo vs McCutchen stuff would drive us mad

Dan Szymborski: Probably.

Comment From guy
did you ever get into minecraft?

Dan Szymborski: I did not.

Comment From Phillies113
All this back and forth arguing seems very PED-y to me

Comment From idiot question from idiot
It’s a simple question. Would you eat the moon if it were made of ribs?

Dan Szymborski: Not the whole moon, but subsections of the moon.

Dan Szymborski: And that’s assuming that there’s a delivery method to get the ribs to the store.

Comment From TJH
I would like to see a measurable study between two players of similar statistics. Add steroids or another PED type to one of the players, then measure the performance of both players after

Dan Szymborski: I’ve spent *years* trying to find this. Everything I choose for caught players has turned out negative.

Dan Szymborski: No PCA I’ve run, from before or after suspensions, has assigned any value whatsoever to the dummy variable of drug suspension

Comment From JayKay
Not sure if I saw it asked, but what were your thoughts of Night of Champions?

Dan Szymborski: I enjoy Rollins. I’m disappointed that we’re once again going to seek Kane at the top of the card

Dan Szymborski: Kane was *barely* interesting at the top of the card feuding with the Undertaker 17-18 years ago.

Dan Szymborski: I didn’t really care at all about Sting at this point either.

Comment From TKDC
What law school did you graduate from?

Dan Szymborski: I am not a lawyer.

Comment From greg
are you a fan of Halloween costume parties?

Dan Szymborski: As long as *I* dont’ have to dress up, sure.

Comment From Jim
Doesn’t it matter that studies regarding caught players for PED’s are addressing a greater population actively avoiding detection? How can we draw any conclusion from that?

Dan Szymborski: But again, we ought to *know* that the percentage of players caught using banned drugs that *are* using drugs is significantly higher than the percentage of players no caught using banned drugs that *are* using drugs.

Dan Szymborski: Else drug testing would be absolutely meaningless.

Comment From Neal
If J&J security was still around there wouldn’t be as many people jumping the barriers and running into the ring.

Comment From Joe
If MLB let every team have 5 players with unlimited PED use, would they have trouble finding volunteers?

Dan Szymborski: No.

Comment From Julio Pepper
You just need to look at the stats of the multi-verse Bonds who never took steroids.

Comment From RotoLando
Is this the official lightning round?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, didn’t make an announcement.

Comment From STiVo
Please rank the four seasons of the year from best to worst.

Dan Szymborski: Fall, spring, winter, summer

Dan Szymborski: Summer has baseball, of course, but I really hate hot weather.

Comment From RotoLando
Pork rinds or beef jerky?

Dan Szymborski: Pork rinds

Comment From guy
can we have a cat update please?

Dan Szymborski: Same number of cats as before.

Comment From mapsamountainrange
While I’m still considering your arguments about the PED Era and am undecided, are there other controversial issues you’re a truth-er about?

Dan Szymborski: Well, I’m not 100% sure we actually exist and aren’t a part of a simulation of the universe.

Dan Szymborski: From a philosophical standpoint, if humans ever developed the technology to make a simulation of the universe, we’d more likely be in a simulation than the reality.

Comment From Phillies113
Spicy mustard or honey mustard

Dan Szymborski: Spicy mustard.

Comment From Mandatory High Socks
If Josh Reddick gets traded (a rumor which has been brought forth already) could Matt Olson win the RF job out of spring training for the A’s?

Dan Szymborski: He could. The A’s are usually open to this.

Comment From dan fan
Do you still drive a Mazda,, and if so what year and model? What would you consider for your next vehicle?

Dan Szymborski: I’ve driven a 2004 Mazda 6s since it came out. I’m not at 100,000 miles yet – it helps to not have a daily commute.

Dan Szymborski: So no pressing need to replace it. I’ve never had any serious problems.

Dan Szymborski: Only the routine maintenance.

Dan Szymborski: And the stuff that’s gone wrong is mostly piddly stuff that’s weird.

Dan Szymborski: Like the damn fuse box cover just won’t stay on.

Dan Szymborski: And weirdly, my antenna randomly snapped off while I was on I-68 near Morgantown, West Virginia

Dan Szymborski: Like for real, just driving along. Then I hear this clump and see my antenna on my back window. Then it’s gone.

Dan Szymborski: I was going 80 on the highway at the time so there was no real way to save it.

Comment From dan fan
LOL antenna

Dan Szymborski: I still haven’t replaced it since I listen to my ipod in the car.

Dan Szymborski: (Aftermarket MP3 dock, I’m not driving around with headphones on)

Comment From Cain Marko
Why are junior and senior only associated with mens names? Can a girl be a junior?

Dan Szymborski: It is kinda weird that we still dont’ see that

Dan Szymborski: But people can call themselves whatever they want.

Dan Szymborski: And people should be able to!

Dan Szymborski: I’m used to my name, but there’s no real reason I have to be Dan Szymborski and not say, T-Bone Habsburg XIV.

Comment From Neal
What do you want to call yourself, Dij?

Comment From RotoLando
If you were invited, would you accept a position on the Jamaican bobsled team?

Dan Szymborski: I would not as I’d have to lose the beer belly.

Dan Szymborski: You gotta hop in those tiny bobsleds pretty quickly

Dan Szymborski: And tight fitting bobsled uniforms are not flattering for me. Not that I’ve ever tried, but I can’t imagine they would be

Comment From Druidiful
Girls probably aren’t called junior/senior for the most part because of the normal convention of taking a different last name with marriage.

Dan Szymborski: Well I know why, but I don’t know why it hasn’t been adopted.

Comment From Cashmere Taco
i used to hate barry bonds cause of the PED stuff but then i realized it wasn’t illegal at the time he did it and also baseball is something i watch/follow for fun, not to be angry. thats what actual life stuff is for

Comment From Neal
If we were part of a Matrix like simulation would you support the humans or machines? I’d support the machines. Don’t unplug me to be a part of the shitty real life.

Dan Szymborski: Oh, machines.

Comment From Druidiful
Barbecue sauce or ketchup?

Dan Szymborski: barbecue sauce

Dan Szymborski: non-tomato based

Comment From Neal
So stupid question since there’s all the PED talk. Will pine tar and the use of pine tar ever be blown up? Apparently “all pitchers use it” but only the dumb ones are caught.

Comment From Neal
Me and my dog (chihuahua) are going to be a mariachi band for Halloween. My girlfriend refuses to be the 3rd member of the band. What can I do to convince her? If not do you want to be the 3rd member? Thanks Dij.

Dan Szymborski: In my experience, I am very bad at convincing women.

Comment From RotoLando
Update on the buffalo wings: I managed to finish them without getting any sauce on my white shirt, but then the high-pressure faucet in the break room splashed water on my crotch.

Comment From Neal
What about the Jamaican belly-table team? How much can you stack?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t even know what that is!

Comment From Phil
I love how surreal it gets when CIL starts jumbling the questions and answers. On my screen, you answered a Votto MVP question with “subsections of the moon.” The world will ponder that for years.

Comment From Cashmere Taco
mustard or mayonnaise

Dan Szymborski: Mustard unless it’s freshly made mayo.

Comment From Christian
How do you feel about the amount of RNG in Hearthstone currently? I originally liked Hearthstone because it avoided the mana screw problems of MTG. However with all the random creature cards in the game I now wonder if Hearthstone depends more on RNG than MTG does.

Dan Szymborski: I honestly don’t think it’s a problem.

Dan Szymborski: Anymore than BABIP is a problem for baseball.

Dan Szymborski: The cream does rise to the top.

Dan Szymborski: And while randomness can hurt good players, it also helps them in another way – good players can react better to unusual situations.

Comment From idiot question from idiot
dark city > matrix

Comment From idiot question from idiot
A1 sauce on everything

Dan Szymborski: Too sweet

Comment From Neal
This is now Neal chat apparently.

Comment From RotoLando
These “apples to apples” comparisons are too easy. Let’s try something harder: hazelnut coffee or glow-in-the-dark shoelaces?

Dan Szymborski: Hazelnut coffee. I don’t need to find my shoes in the dark

Comment From hscer
doesn’t barbecue sauce or ketchup depend?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t like ketchup

Comment From Luke
Jericho as the mystery partner was a letdown, no? Hopefully it was just a one off and they get someone better.

Dan Szymborski: Didn’t make a ton of sense to me. I like Jericho, but it’s hard to consistently book him these days

Dan Szymborski: There’s so much talent on the active WWE roster that they just couldn’t care less about

Comment From rustydude
diesel or unleaded?

Dan Szymborski: Unleaded. Diesel would break my car I assume

Comment From STiVo
I predict record-high TV ratings for this year’s NL Wild Card game. Do you think this prediction will come true?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Neal
Jon Stewart would of been a better mystery partner.

Comment From Phillies113
As this is now a Neal chat, this question is for Neal: breakfast sausage or bacon. Dan, you can answer too if you want.

Dan Szymborski: Bacon

Comment From L. Scott
Do you follow the NFL at all? Favorite team?

Comment From Neal
bacon

Dan Szymborski: Yes, Steelers.

Dan Szymborski: On that note, time to sign off for another week.

Comment From RotoLando
Name on person, fictional or non-fictional, throughout all of history that you wish you could high-five?

Dan Szymborski: Windmill high five Genghis Khan. He would be so confused and have me executed, but it would be hilarious to capture on my phone for historians

Comment From idiot question from idiot
you are leaving?? well, the jerk store called…

Dan Szymborski: The jerk store called: They’re finding trouble executing their business model and have burned through their original capital investment.

Comment From Bossman, Sr.
Melvin Upton’s dad’s nickname was Bossman, right? That’s why Melvin was Bossman junior

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Dan Szymborski: Kinda like the old joke. I went to a doctor and he told me I was fat. I said “hey doctor, how about a second opinion?” and he said that my weight would lead me more prone to heart disease, ischemic strokes, and adult-onset diabetes too.”

Dan Szymborski: ba dum dum