FanGraphs Audio: The Largely Incoherent Matt Klaassen
Episode 343
Matt Klaassen is a PhD candidate in philosophy and (relatively speaking) long-time contributor to the site. He’s also the guest on this edition of FanGraphs Audio.
Don’t hesitate to direct pod-related correspondence to @cistulli on Twitter.
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Audio after the jump. (Approximately 1 hr 17 min play time.)
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Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.
I cant imagine talking to Carson for 77 full minutes. (give or take for the dulcet tones of Herb Alpert & his Tijuana Brass)
jk Carson luv u see you on twitter dot com
What would Tatian say? Glad you asked
“What noble thing have you produced by your pursuit of philosophy? Who of your most eminent men has been free from vain boasting? Diogenes, who made such a parade of his independence with his tub, was seized with a bowel complaint through eating a raw polypus, and so lost his life by gluttony. Aristippus, walking about in a purple robe, led a profligate life, in accordance with his professed opinions.
What great and wonderful things have your philosophers effected? They leave uncovered one of their shoulders; they let their hair grow long; they cultivate their beards; their nails are like the claws of wild beasts. Though they say that they want nothing, yet, like Proteus, they need a currier for their wallet, and a weaver for their mantle, and a wood-cutter for their staff, and the rich, and a cook also for their gluttony. O man competing with the dog, you know not God, and so have turned to the imitation of an irrational animal. You cry out in public with an assumption of authority, and take upon you to avenge your own self; and if you receive nothing, you indulge in abuse, and philosophy is with you the art of getting money. You follow the doctrines of Plato, and a disciple of Epicurus lifts up his voice to oppose you. Again, you wish to be a disciple of Aristotle, and a follower of Democritus rails at you. Pythagoras says that he was Euphorbus, and he is the heir of the doctrine of Pherecydes; but Aristotle impugns the immortality of the soul. You who receive from your predecessors doctrines which clash with one another, you the inharmonious, are fighting against the harmonious. One of you asserts that God is body, but I assert that He is without body; that the world is indestructible, but I say that it is to be destroyed; that a conflagration will take place at various times, but I say that it will come to pass once for all; that Minos and Rhadamanthus are judges, but I say that God Himself is Judge; that the soul alone is endowed with immortality, but I say that the flesh also is endowed with it. What injury do we inflict upon you, O Greeks? Why do you hate those who follow the word of God, as if they were the vilest of mankind? It is not we who eat human flesh –they among you who assert such a thing have been suborned as false witnesses; it is among you that Pelops is made a supper for the gods, although beloved by Poseidon, and Kronos devours his children, and Zeus swallows Metis.”
Recollection of the discussion:
Arrested Development… indeed.
Cistulli defends persons of limited range. Natch. Cistulli uses hegemonic “we”, as in “we all enjoy….”. Also known as “straw we”.
Klassen dislikes many actors. Fails to quote Blake. Apologizes for concern about his everlasting soul.
Cistulli will not spend two hours with dick characters, thereby explaining the length of Dayn Perry Fangraphs Audio.
No baseball being discussed, just some Royals. Jeff Francouer doesn’t suck, but various other humans (each containing spark of divinity, possibly love of cats, dogs) do suck.
Fangraphing should never be used as a verb again.
Apparently neither disembodied voice has read Exit, Voice, Loyalty. [Chris Dickerson hits 3 run HR].
Cross talk. Klassen ruins show.
Irony. “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Obscure college programs…egress.
“I’m not going to apologize for being a Christian.” – Matt Klaassen
SO BRAVE