Educational Film: Lucas Giolito’s Bowel-Locking Curveball

Right-handed Washington prospect Lucas Giolito recorded his spring debut this afternoon in Florida, producing a 3:0 strikeout-to-walk ratio in 2.0 innings while conceding no runs and just a single hit against the Miami ball club (box).

If certain, possibly British sources are to be trusted, the three strikeouts were facilitated, at least in some part, by means of Giolito’s breaking ball — a breaking ball described recently by former Mets GM Steve Phillips as “bowel-locking.”

Because Evil is both real and constantly among us, video footage of those particular curveballs isn’t available for public consumption. What is available, however, is the educational film above, excerpted from the right-hander’s August 14th start against Double-A Baltimore affiliate Bowie. Within that footage, one finds a specimen of Giolito’s curveball, both in real time and also provocative slow-motion.

The reader is advised to locate his or her keys before consuming said video, however, so that it might be easier to unlock his or her bowels after examining it.

Brian Reinhart is a stranger, even to himself. He’s also responsible for bringing this series of events to the author’s attention.





Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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Ebenezer
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Ebenezer

Lucas “Bowel-Locker” Giolito. Has a ring to it, of sorts.