NERD Game Scores: Jose Fernandez One-Man Show Event

Devised originally in response to a challenge issued by viscount of the internet Rob Neyer, and expanded at the request of nobody, NERD scores represent an attempt to summarize in one number (and on a scale of 0-10) the likely aesthetic appeal or watchability, for the learned fan, of a player or team or game. Read more about the components of and formulae for NERD scores here.

Most Highly Rated Game
Cincinnati at Miami | 19:10 ET
Undecided (N/A) vs. Fernandez (6.0 IP, 47 xFIP-)
For those among us who’ve studied the arts and/or spent time in the company of those who identify as artists, there’s little capable of inspiring more terror in the heart than an invitation to something called “a one-man show.” For those unfamiliar with the concept, a one-man show bears some resemblance to a stand-up comedy performance, except that it lasts longer and drinks are only served afterwards and also laughter is strictly forbidden.

One finds, however, that — despite its flaws — that the genre itself is probably less to blame for its shortcomings than those who practice it. Indeed, perhaps what’s required is merely to expand the sense of what is meant by the term “one-man show.” What one finds during a Jose Fernandez start, for example, might technically be regarded as a one-man show — owing to how Jose Fernandez is technically one man — and yet such events are the source of considerable pleasure.

This concludes the author’s brief but essential commentary on the nature of art.

Readers’ Preferred Broadcast: Miami Radio.

Two Brief Notes
An Announcement Regarding the Appeal of Zack Greinke
The reader might be surprised to find, owing to the latter’s excellence this season, that Zack Greinke possesses merely an average rating according to the methodology used here to determine aesthetic appeal. The reasons are manifold: Greinke’s fielding-independent numbers are strong but not elite; he throws only a league-average number of strikes; he’s among the league’s slowest-working pitchers. Despite all of that, it’s still possible — indeed, even likely — that Greinke is appealing for reasons that are unaccounted for by the dumb algorithm constructed by the author.

Today’s Free Game
Today’s free game features Toronto at Chicago AL, starts at 14:10 ET, and can be accessed by means of this hyperlinked text.

Complete Schedule
Here’s the complete and very sortable table for all of today’s games. Pitching probables and game times aggregated from MLB.com and also the rest of the internet. Note that the calculations both for team and game NERD scores have changed recently to better integrate playoff odds into same. Read more about those changes here, if you’re the sort of person accustomed to making poor life decisions.

Away		SP	Tm.	Gm.	Tm.	SP		Home	Time
Jesse Chavez	OAK	5	5	7	9	8	NYA	Masahiro Tanaka	13:05
Nate Karns	TB	5	4	6	6	8	KC	Yordano Ventura	14:10
R.A. Dickey	TOR	7	8	6	1	7	CHA	Jeff Samardzija	14:10
Carlos Martinez	STL	9	5	6	7	5	PIT	Jeff Locke	19:05
Undecided	CIN	5	4	7	5	14	MIA	Jose Fernandez*	19:10
Brett Oberholtzer	HOU	2	10	6	6	7	CLE	Cody Anderson	19:10
David Price	DET	6	5	4	4	2	MIN	Mike Pelfrey	20:10
Alex Wood	ATL	5	2	3	3	0	COL	Kyle Kendrick	20:40
Garrett Richards	LAA	6	9	7	4	7	SEA	Felix Hernandez	22:10
Sev. Gonzalez	PHI	8	2	5	5	5	LAN	Zack Greinke	22:10

* = Fewer than 10 IP, NERD at discretion of very handsome author.