One Night Only!

This edition of One Night Only can protect you from everything but your own self

(NERD scores in parentheses.)

Colorado (6) at Arizona (8) | 9:40pm ET
Starting Pitchers
Rockies: Jeff Francis (7)
95.2 IP, 5.74 K/9, 1.88 BB/9, .313 BABIP, 47.2% GB, 8.2% HR/FB, 3.91 xFIP, 2.1 WAR

Diamondbacks: Ian Kennedy (5)
185.0 IP, 7.83 K/9, 3.21 BB/9, .265 BABIP, 36.5% GB, 10.8% HR/FB, 4.29 xFIP, 2.4 WAR

Some True Facts
In the event that you didn’t notice, reader, allow me to point out now that one of tonight’s starters — specifically, Ian Kennedy — has the last name Kennedy. The intelligent person you are, you’re assuredly aware that, since Massachusetts joined the Union, almost every last senator from that state has shared this surname (i.e. Kennedy). Amazingly, a few haven’t. “Who are they?” you’re definitely wondering. It’s this question that I intend to address in what follows.

Though it actually wouldn’t take long to catalog all non-Kennedy senators in Bay State history, in the interest of brevity, I’ve chosen the five with the awesomest-sounding names. For each former senator, I’ve also included his dates and some shockingly brief — but super essential — notes on his respective accomplishments. (All facts stolen directly, shamelessly from Wikipedia.)

Name: Tristram Dalton, 1738 – 1817
Notes: First-ever senator from state. Elected to Continental Congress, in 1783 and 1784, before creation of Senate. Elected Whitest Living Person three times running during mid-80s.

Name: Prentiss Mellen, 1764 – 1840
Notes: Lived most of life in giant, northern part of state lost in poker game (i.e. Maine). “Studied” “law” at “Harvard” — which, I think we all know what that means, amirite?

Name: Rufus Choate, 1799 – 1859
Notes: As senator, opposed annexation of Texas. As lawyer, once successfully defended client on grounds that accused was sleepwalking when he murdered his wife. Was told, at young age, that he had a “face made for radio” before said technology was even imagined.

Name: George Frisbie Hoar, 1826 – 1904
Notes: Argued in the Senate in favor of Women’s suffrage as early as 1886 and opposed the Chinese Exclusion Act, too. Basically, crusaded on behalf of marginalized populations for entire life. Also, gave new meaning to the term “Frisbee Whore,” if you know what I mean.

Name: Leverett A. Saltonstall, 1892 – 1979
Notes: So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so rich. I mean, sooooooo rich. Like, rich enough that it’s surprising he ever died.

Actual Baseball Notes
• On a per-inning basis, Jeff Francis is currently in the midst of his best major league season. He’s been on the DL for about 2.5 months, so you won’t see it in gaudy totals, but he’s currently allowing fewer walks per nine and inducing more ground balls per ball-in-play than ever before.
• The Rocky starters, as a whole, have been excellent. Per our leaderboards, Colorado has the third-lowest xFIP among starting pitchers, with a 3.94 mark. Moreover, their rotation is remarkably solid: Jorge de la Rosa, Ubaldo Jimenez, Jason Hammel, Jhoulys Chacin, and Francis all feature xFIPs between 3.49 and 3.91.
• Colorado’s postseason odds, per Cool Standings, as of yesterday afternoon: 6.5% (Division), 3.5% (Wild Card), 10.0% (Overall).

Rufus Choate is disappointed in you.

Other Notes
Florida (7) at Milwaukee (9), 8:10pm ET
• It’s one of your last chances to see Mike Stanton, who’s done this so far in his rookie campaign: 348 PA, .243/.316/.505 (.299 BABIP). .349 wOBA, 119 wOBA+, 1.8 WAR.

Seattle (1) at Toronto (7), 12:37pm ET
Felix Hernandez will likely only make a couple more appearances this season en route to making a legitimate case for Cy Young honors despite currently standing at only 12-11.
• There isn’t, but there should be, an award for Awesomest Pitch of the Year. Lookout Landing documents what would likely be a contender for said fictional award.

Also Playing
These games are very likely playing at some kind of sporty channel near you.

Note: Reader Scott K. points out that Mat Latos (and not Kevin Correia) is pitching for San Diego tonight. Latos has a NERD of 10, which pushes the game as a whole up one point, to 7. (And pro

Other Note: As reader ewc points out, Cliff Lee does not, in fact, pitch for the Cleveland Indians anymore. The Rangers currently sport a tNERD of 7, making the game a 7 overall.

pNERD = Pitcher NERD
Game = Time and Average NERD for Game
* = Estimated NERD

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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Scott K.
12 years ago

Latos is pitching for the Padres tonite.