Daily Notes: A Brief Timeline of the Corey Kluber Society by Carson Cistulli September 12, 2013 Table of Contents Here’s the table of contents for today’s edition of the Daily Notes. 1. A Brief Timeline of the Corey Kluber Society 2. Today’s MLB.TV Free Game 3. Today’s Complete Schedule A Brief Timeline of the Corey Kluber Society The Purpose of This Post The purpose of this post is to announce a meeting — in this case, at 8:10pm ET today (Thursday) — of the Corey Kluber Society. About the Society The Corey Kluber Society (or, frequently just “the Society”) is composed of individuals all bound by their singular enthusiasm for the works and days of very effective and frequently transcendent Cleveland right-hander Corey Kluber. How to Attend a Meeting To attend a meeting of the Society, one needs merely to consume any of Kluber’s starts by means both of his heart and his head. A Brief Timeline of the Corey Kluber Society What a man wants — and what a woman would probably say she wanted, too, were she ever to return the author’s phone calls — is the sense that he’s part of something larger than himself. Compared to a child or even just a short man, a regular-sized man is quite big. Compared to the whole universe, however, a man is a lot more like a dust mote, or that dust mote’s toddling godson. Terribly insignificant, is the idea. Cause for great angst and hand-wringing. Among its many benefits, one such offered by the Corey Kluber Society to a member is the notion that he bears almost no resemblance to a dust mote — nor any other kind of mote that you’d care to name. Owing to its rich and storied past — one that reaches back to the infancy of the universe, science would certainly verify — the Society gives one the impression of being swaddled against the comforting bosoms of all the world’s divinities at once. Here, for the reader’s consideration, is a brief illustrative timeline of the Corey Kluber Society: Beginning of Time The Corey Kluber Society emerges spontaneously from the uncreated light. The created light was another consideration; however, due to its non-existence, was ultimately impossible. 7th Century BCE The core virtues of the Society are celebrated in verse for the first time by the poet Archilochus, who writes “I shall not cure anything by crying, / or make it worse by pursuing fun and games.” 1st Century CE Merciless Roman emperor attempts to feed members of Society to lions. Members, fortunately, rescued by Russell Crowe. 14th Century CE The Renaissance inspires renewed vigor for principles of the Society, probably. 19th Century CE Society members participate in alternative to Underground Railroad, the Underground Monorail. A grand gesture, everyone agrees, although ultimately less effective than Railroad itself. 1986 Actual Corey Kluber born. 2013 Actual Corey Kluber posts 74 xFIP- over first 127.0 innings of season. Today’s MLB.TV Free Game Oakland at Minnesota | 13:10 ET A.J. Griffin (182.0 IP, 108 xFIP-, 1.2 WAR) faces Scott Diamond (107.2 IP, 118 xFIP-, 0.1 WAR). Analysis: the A’s and Twins are in different places in their lives, like when a boyfriend and girlfriend break up because they’re in different places in their lives. Readers’ Preferred Broadcast: Oakland Radio. Today’s Complete Schedule Here’s the complete schedule for all of today’s games, with our very proprietary watchability (NERD) scores for each one. Pitching probables and game times aggregated from MLB.com and RotoWire. Note that these NERD scores are calculated using the methodology introduced recently and designed to account for the influence of playoff odds on the watchability of games. ***Unlike in recent iterations of this table, the author has adjusted the day’s NERD Game Scores such that, combined, they average 5.0.*** This allows said table to resemble more closely the Game Scores that have appeared here over the preceding four months. Away SP Tm. Gm. Tm. SP Home Time Freddy Garcia ATL 4 0 3 0 7 MIA Nathan Eovaldi 12:40 A.J. Griffin OAK 5 5 6 0 1 MIN Scott Diamond 13:10 Tanner Roark* WAS 7 0 3 0 4 NYN Aaron Harang 13:10 Chris Rusin CHN 3 0 6 6 3 PIT Jeff Locke 19:05 Phil Hughes NYA 5 5 7 1 3 BAL Wei-Yin Chen 19:05 Tyson Ross SD 7 0 3 0 3 PHI Roy Halladay 19:05 Garrett Richards LAA 7 0 2 0 0 TOR J.A. Happ 19:07 Jake Peavy BOS 5 0 9 9 4 TB Jere. Hellickson 19:10 Corey Kluber CLE 10 5 8 0 6 CHA John Danks 20:10 Tyler Thornburg MIL 2 0 7 7 4 STL Joe Kelly 20:15 Matt Cain SF 5 0 3 0 6 LAN Zack Greinke 20:10 To learn how Pitcher and Team NERD Scores are calculated, click here. To learn how Game NERD Scores are calculated, click here. * = Fewer than 20 IP, NERD at discretion of very handsome author.