Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 12/9/13

Dan Szymborski: And we are live

Dan Szymborski: just transitioning over – I’ve been chatting at ESPN for last 2 hours

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
Dan, it’s 12:02, are you alive?

Dan Szymborski: I hope someday to live-tweet my death on Twitter or whatever the social network thing at the time is.

Comment From Anon21
Fitting that Halladay—seemingly a pretty classy athlete—retires away from the Phillies, whose fanbase is a subhuman pool of sentient slime.

Dan Szymborski: That’s too mean! I know lots of great Phillies fans. Every fanbase has a subsection of terrible fans.

Dan Szymborski: Even The Best Fans in Baeball

Comment From Matt
Roy Halladay HoF. Y/N?

Dan Szymborski: Should Easy yes. Will: Not with this group of brain donors

Comment From Steve
Dan!

Dan Szymborski: Steve!

Comment From Los
I’m confused…shouldn’t Corey Kluber’s top comp be a Randy Johnson/Pedro Martinez hybrid?

Comment From Doctor Met
35 oz bat. Bwahaha

Dan Szymborski: Francoeur should probably switch to a wiffle ball bat. He could swing and miss at sliders *twice* per pitch

Comment From Tom
Choo ends up with Detriot or Seattle?

Dan Szymborski: I think Detroit

Comment From Zach
The Orioles’ offseason is getting even more depressing. Failed to bring back McLouth and Feldman, and no obvious replacements. If I have dreams of Choo…can you give me a rough estimate of how his ZiPS would change if he played half his games in Camden Yards?

Dan Szymborski: The way the O’s are going, Choo Freeman would be too big signing for them

Dan Szymborski: Choo’s not really a giant HR guy. Someone like Nelson Cruz would probably get more out of it, though he’ll be horribly overpriced

Comment From Roy Halladay
Well, I’m retiring. All the questions.. Am I a Hall of Famer? Will my projection stay with PHI, or is my 1 day Toronto contract ZiPS bindind?

Dan Szymborski: I’ll probably keep it with the Phillies

Comment From Matthew E
Among Toronto’s 2014 starting pitchers, will Roy Halladay rank in the top 5?

Dan Szymborski: I’ve got Halladay at a 96 ERA+!

Comment From Interweb Troll
Hey Dan, remember when you tweeted that the Eagles should bench LeSean McCoy because he cannot run in the snow, 217 yards, 7.5 YPC later…

Dan Szymborski: Yup. Already tweeted about that.

Dan Szymborski: Seem he got the hang of running in the snow.

Comment From Bill
According to Dan Duquette the Orioles ‘don’t believe in’ the posting system. Is he delusional?

Dan Szymborski: The O’s and delusional go together like Oreos and milk!

Comment From Bill
Mariners have any chance at Choo? Seems like a nice compliment to the Cano signing & they are apparently still well under budget….

Dan Szymborski: They’re going to throw money and if they don’t make signing like that, Cano is pointless

Comment From Pedantic A**hole
Is it weird to employed by the same site that regularly features the writing of Jimmy Bowden?

Dan Szymborski: I lot of the chats are manned by Jim and I. If everyone agreed with me, there would be little reason to employ me.

Comment From Erich
Over/Under highest win total Seattle puts up while Robinson Cano is on their team: 86?

Dan Szymborski: I will say 93 simply because 10 years is a very long time

Dan Szymborski: But anyway, McCoy’s first few carries had some really awful cuts. It was better when the snow slowed down a bit.

Comment From Doctor Met
Would a NYM NYY Murphy for Gardner swap even make sense?

Dan Szymborski: It might, but I’m universally meh on Murphy

Comment From Jake
What do you think the Cardinals’ rotation looks like on Opening Day?

Dan Szymborski: Waino, Wacha, Miller, Garcia, Lynn

Comment From guest
Say the Yankees miss out on Tanaka due to the new posting rules. Who do they sign instead, and how screwed are they?

Dan Szymborski: Garza, at least.

Comment From zack
Dayton Moore gets a lot of flack, but the Aoki was pretty smart wasn’t it?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, and I admitted it on Twitter!

Dan Szymborski: I have nothing against giving Dayton Moore credit for good moves.

Comment From Cory
How different would the second prospect be from the Mariners if they were able to send Paxson instead of Walker? or is the point moot…Rays would only want Walker as centerpiece

Dan Szymborski: Well, would obviously be a better second prospect if it’s Paxton. I think the Rays want to go big with a Price return.

Comment From Mike Rizzo
How do you like my offseason so far?

Dan Szymborski: So far, so good! I like a possible O’Flaherty signing

Comment From Nate
Cano + Granderson >> Ellsbury+McCann+ Beltran ?

Dan Szymborski: Probably wouldn’t say that

Comment From AL
Are you surprised the Twins have actually signed 2 pitchers that can actually K people at a decent rate. Doesn’t seem like their M.O. Also do you think that Kyle Gibson will be in their rotation? o/u 100 ip?

Dan Szymborski: I’m sure it was an accident. I think Gibson’s in teh rotation

Comment From Florko
Why do they insist on bunting so much in college baseball?

Dan Szymborski: They *love* bunting in college. It helps that the fielders are worse, but they do bunt way too much I feel. College coaches *love* doing the Official Fancy Manager Shit.

Comment From Steve
The Angels are making me feel like Dayton Moore is our GM… should this be so?

Dan Szymborski: Angels don’t act much differently than I would expect Dayton Moore to if he had more money

Comment From BobbyS
Florida State or Auburn? Prediction?

Dan Szymborski: Haven’t decided yet! Time to think about it

Comment From neal h
please tell me i have a shot to sign both k morales and s drew, and that these contracts would be excuse to cancel rumored arroyo meeting?

Dan Szymborski: Well, definitely not Morales.

Comment From dbet
Kemp’s agent says he’s going to be traded. Think its possible for Kemp and Ethier to both be traded?

Dan Szymborski: possible, but the Dodgers would need to do some serious eating

Comment From Jon
What sort of a package would Pittsburgh need to offer to the White Sox to possibly pry away Chris Sale?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think it’s happening. And it would (and should) take a ton

Comment From Zach
Please take back what you just said about Nelson Cruz. Go outside, turn around three times and spit. Or curse. Or cross your fingers. Whatever you have to do so that idea doesn’t become karma.

Dan Szymborski: I’m sorry! I will flagellate myself with an iron whip

Comment From Jack
How much trade value does Brandon Belt have – Rays need a 1b and so do the Nats (sort of)..but it never seemed that the Giants liked him – and eventually Posey…why not trade him now for pitching and something else?

Dan Szymborski: He’d be a fun acquisition, but I think even teh Giants have gotten to like him more. The best time to acquire Belt was *last* year

Comment From kevinthecomic
I would like to congratulate Philadelphia fans for not throwing any snowballs at Santa Claus during yesterday’s Eagles – Lions game. Then again, maybe Santa was not in attendance.

Comment From Doctor Met
Cameron likes Ike for TB Rays but with Grandy signing we no longer need Joyce. Your thoughts on where Ike/Duda end up and for what?

Dan Szymborski: I think the Mets trade one during the season, nto the winter

Comment From LarryA
Any more FA signings coming up for the Mariners?

Dan Szymborski: If there aren’t, it’s been a Winter of Fail

Comment From Mike
Do you think the Nats could bring in both O’Flaherty and JP Howell? Who’s more likely to be signed?

Dan Szymborski: They could. The Nats have payroll flexibility.

Comment From Doctor Met
Remember when the Lions were tied / had the lead and they abandoned the run and asked Stafford to throw 25 times in a blizzard?

Dan Szymborski: For the Lions, that’s very light use of Stafford!

Dan Szymborski: Stafford usually has to make more throws than a Fregosi-managed starting pitcher.

Comment From Sean
Maybe Shady saw your tweet and it fueled him to that 200 yard performance?

Dan Szymborski: Hmm…

Dan Szymborski: You know who could not ever date me? Kate Upton.

Dan Szymborski: Not even *close* to the challenge.

Comment From Tom
Newbie to Zips question – why shouldn’t I add up the player projected WAR to get an idea of team WAR?

Dan Szymborski: Because adding up mean projection is kind of inaccurate. The PA haven’t been allocated to specific expected playing time and there are all mean projections.

Dan Szymborski: I use monte carlo simulations for better answers.

Comment From APODionysus
If Morris ends up in the Hall, but Halladay doesn’t, the only rational response is along the lines of “Kill it with fire”

Dan Szymborski: Well, first seize the memorabilia and *then* kill it with fire.

Dan Szymborski: Jack Morris in the Hall of Fame and Roy Halladay not is sufficient reason for the United Nations to institute sanctions on the United States.

Comment From Tom
How barren is the FA market next year?

Dan Szymborski: Very. If Kershaw and Lester sign during the season, I think Justin Masterson and Jed Lowrie are in top 5 free agents.

Comment From Zach
You’re meh on Murphy? Me too. So the Orioles will definitely be trading for him.

Dan Szymborski: SAD PANDA

Comment From zack
Do the Marlins have plan and do you know what it is?

Dan Szymborski: 1. $$$$ 2. $$$$$ 3. profit.

Comment From JTT
Has a team ever misunderstood their position on the win curve as badly as the Mariners? I can’t think of an example other than the pre-dombrowski tigers trying to sign Juan Gon

Dan Szymborski: Well, the Orioles every year.

Dan Szymborski: And I dont’ think the Rockies even see a win curve. They simply react to whatever’s going on.

Dan Szymborski: DO I LIKE DEXTER FOWLER MAGIC 8 BALL YES/NO. NO I DO NOT LIKE FOWLER. JUSTIN MORNEAU? ALL SIGNS POINT TO YES. WHERE IS CHEESE

Comment From Sean
Do you think the story about the M’s front office may be getting overblown? Is it possible that many front offices experience this kind of stuff, or do you think Seattle is just in really really bad shape?

Dan Szymborski: Usually you dont’ hear about things this bad. I’ve been hearing whispers all season, but nothing this specific

Comment From Nasty Nas
Shady McCoy belongs on the field at all times that he’s available. He’s a top 3 back.

Dan Szymborski: I didn’t actually say bench him. I just said use more Bryce Brown!

Comment From Mr. Jones
Can I get some Michael Choice 2014 ZIPS projections, please?

Dan Szymborski: You won’t like it.

Comment From Rick
Realistic package for Kemp?

Dan Szymborski: With his contract?

Dan Szymborski: Kemp and Seager for nothing.

Dan Szymborski: Seriously, that’s what I’d need for the willingness to simply take Kemp.

Comment From zack
Are you rooting for AROD at all to prevail against MLB?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah. It’s hard to make A-Rod sympathetic, but I hate tyrants.

Comment From Rick
The return on trades for big players is usually meh, at best, why do teams still do it?

Dan Szymborski: ECITEMENT!

Comment From Jon
In your opinion, who are the top 5 GMs in MLB?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not ranking within the 5

Dan Szymborski: Beane, Friedman, Daniels, Mozeliak, Rizzo

Comment From Jacquomini
What is a reasonable return for Andrus?

Dan Szymborski: I like Andrus, but the Ragners spent too much, I feel

Comment From Evan
Any thoughts on the Scott Feldman contract? I can’t decide if I should be slapping myself or not as an Astros fan

Dan Szymborski: Kind of ambivalent. Not my favorite idea, but not really a disaster.

Comment From zack
Do you think the Tigers could have gotten Joc Pederson from the Dodgers in a Fister trade?

Dan Szymborski: No

Comment From LarryA
Why did Brian Wilson get so much cheddar? Will he start the year as closer?

Dan Szymborski: No, he’s going to be a very highly paid setup man

Comment From AL
Does ZIPS think that Jonny Hellweg is capable of anything this upcoming season?

Dan Szymborski: I haven’t run Hellweg yet, but given his peripherals, I’m guessing ZiPS has its money on the Angry Itch.

Comment From Tom
The Cano deal will be bad long-term. Will we ever see a deal that is overpay for a shorter time? I.e. Cano $50 million for three years? 1 year for Trout at $75? Obviously a team would have to be a win-now mode but wouldn’t it make sense?

Dan Szymborski: I actually think it’s a fair evaluation for Cano, but the wrong team.

Comment From Billy from Queens
Any chance of the Yankees going after Choo?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t *think* they’ll be serious about Choo

Comment From Kris
give me a reason for us Pads fans to be excited about Burch Smith….

Dan Szymborski: Now *him* I’ve done. ZiPS only has him a little under league average, 91 ERA+ (96 tends to be average for a starter)

Comment From jjdouglas
With (what appears to be) a heavy stats background, I was wondering what your major in college was?

Dan Szymborski: math/econ, but from my grades, it was probably really drinking

Comment From PJB
any reason to be excited about the Rule 5 draft this week? or will it be ho-hum relievers on the block?

Dan Szymborski: It’s generally ho-hum.

Comment From Thanks
What are the Padres going to do with their outfielders? They have 5 or 6 desirable guys. I would take any of them on the M’s

Dan Szymborski: I would not be surprised to see a Venable trade.

Comment From connect
Given the $13.25 million owed Ryan Dempster in 2014, would a Red Sox package of the righthander and outfielder Daniel Nava net a decent prospect in a trade? How about Seattle pitching prospect Victor Sanchez?

Dan Szymborski: I doubt the Red Sox make a trade involving this.

Comment From LarryA
Im seriously unhappy with all the wasted Chat questions and answers about Stanton trades over the past 12 months, all for nothing

Dan Szymborski: I’m sorry.

Comment From Eastern NC
What is literally the last rumor that you heard?

Dan Szymborski: Hopefully, it will be a sordid tale of somebody involved in the presidential election of 2112.

Comment From Doctor Met
Schoop for Murphy!

Dan Szymborski: BOO

Comment From Buzzkill
I thought this was a baseball chat, knock it off Dan.

Dan Szymborski: The theme of this chat is Dan Szymborski.

Dan Szymborski: So if I want to talk about football or my cat or Olivier Messiaen, it’s all on-topic!

Dan Szymborski: Hell, I can legally just *sing* for an hour.

Dan Szymborski: Songs that you don’t want to hear me sing.

Dan Szymborski: LOVE ME LOVE ME SAY THAT YOU LOVE ME. FOOL ME FOOL ME GO ON AND FOOL ME!

Comment From Doctor Met
Why so down on Kemp? Hanley took a year and change to recover from shoulder surgery to regain his form, maybe Kemp also?

Dan Szymborski: The problem is the maybe.

Dan Szymborski: Kemp’s contract isn’t paid for maybe.

Comment From Tom
So what is the Mariners plan then?

Dan Szymborski: Plan A is free agents and Price trade. Plan B is divine intervention. Plan C is hoping that the Mariners are actually the protagonist in a movie and the director will step in to ensure the deus ex machina happy ending.

Comment From Zach
Could the Orioles make a move for Kemp that does NOT involve Bundy or Gausman?

Dan Szymborski: AAAAUGGHGH MY EYES

Dan Szymborski: Unless the Dodgers are eating some of the contract, I wouldn’t trade Bud Bundy or Ted Bundy for Kemp.

Comment From Eastern NC
But really, don’t teams like the Orioles, Mariners, Nationals (four years ago) about have to overpay to get premium guys? Look at the Orioles pitching! Look at the Mariners’ lineup? Look at the Nationals before Harper/Strasburg? Gotta do it sometime to get talent.

Dan Szymborski: You overpay for premium guys, but you do it at the right time.

Dan Szymborski: When the other guys are stronger than you, you wait for the right time to attack.

Dan Szymborski: Like Bertran du Guesclin or George Washington, you gotta pick the right time to get into a pitched battle.

Dan Szymborski: And then you commit *everything* wehn that time comes.

Dan Szymborski: Contrary to what the movie implied, Bannockburn was *17 years* after Stirling Bridge (among other thousands of errors)

Dan Szymborski: Bruce didn’t want to fight at Bannockburn even, but his incompetent brother forced the issue

Dan Szymborski: But once that battle happened, the Scots rolled *everything* on that battle.

Dan Szymborski: They didn’t follow up Falkirk by saying @#%#% THIS LETS JUST INVADE SORT OF

Comment From Eastern NC
Under what circumstances would you adopt a local team? I’m a Cub fan……good enough?

Dan Szymborski: I’m an O’s fan. Right now the Reds are closest, but I don’t need to adopt a team

Comment From Trey
No love for Ben Cherington?

Dan Szymborski: Said top 5.

Dan Szymborski: I have a high opinion of myself, but owuldn’t put me on a list of Top 5 baseball writers.

Comment From Mark
Roy Halladay is retiring; I have all the sads.

Dan Szymborski: I have some of them.

Comment From APODionysus
Not a fan of Cherington or simply too soon to judge?

Dan Szymborski: Too soon. He’s top 10 though it seems.

Comment From Tom
Do you think Tanaka will be posted or did MLB shoot themselves in the foot with the $20 limit on posting fees?

Dan Szymborski: I think Tanaka ends up playing in japan next year

Comment From Book_Worm
Does the timing of the Mariners article (right before Winter Meetings) hurt Jack Z’s ability to negotiate? Seems like he will have a hard time getting anything done now. (Not faulting the journo for the timing of the article, btw)

Dan Szymborski: Not so much. It’s bad from a Team Future standpoint, but it really shouldn’t affect trades/signings too much

Comment From Terdo
You mentioned Terdo in a tweet… any chance at a preview of his numbers?

Dan Szymborski: Braves are going live this week, so no

Comment From 2ndHS
Who do you think is the best reliever left on the free agent market?

Dan Szymborski: Benoit.

Comment From Bruce
Serious question: do you thing Wilson would have gotten less money if he didnt have the whole Beard gimmick going?

Dan Szymborski: Probably not.

Comment From Doctor Met
NSA spying on digital worlds.. they found you out Zymbo!

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure what the NSA expects to find.

Dan Szymborski: I already blab stuff about my private life anyway.

Dan Szymborski: My skeletons in the closet aren’t that impressive. Let’s see, I eat too much and exercise too little. I level slowly in MMORPGs. I’m kinda of a crappy spy in TF2. Uhh….I’m always the last one on block to rake leaves?

Comment From Redlegs!
What is a fair return for Brandon Phillips? It seems the Reds are overvaluing him (go figure).

Dan Szymborski: The Reds *are* in fact overvaluing him from what I hear. They thing he’s a very good trade chip and want a *real* prospect in return.

Comment From LarryA
I cant remember the specifics from last year, but with the 1-year deal last year and the new 2-year deal, did Napoli get back to even from the contract that was annuled after his physical? Do the Sox not care about his hip anymore?

Dan Szymborski: The voided contract was 3/39, so Napoli got more.

Dan Szymborski: Remember though, it’s a year *later* so the Red Sox have a year less of risk that they’re paying for

Comment From Saison
SO should I assume chisenhall is not going to improve or get more ABs than he did in past seasons?

Dan Szymborski: I think he is what he is at this point

Comment From Doctor Met
re: buzzkill you’ve never joined a Zymbo chat eh? wait for the dungeon comments!

Dan Szymborski: Ssssh

Comment From jjdouglas
I’m and actuary, who is working through exams currently. When you mentioned Monte Carlo simulations I had to ask.

Dan Szymborski: For actual math wizardry, you need to get the better educated guys, like Sean Forman or Chris Long

Comment From subtle
Who is your favorite buy-low candidate entering 2014?

Dan Szymborski: Double J Josh Johnson. @%#%# Padres already got im though.

Comment From Guest
Wouldn’t have signing Ellsbury been a much better move for the Mariners? Considering their entire OF is replacement level and I think Franklin can be a 2+ WAR player. Cano would have to be worth at least 2 WAR over Ellsbury.

Dan Szymborski: Actually would have been. But it’s not SUPER EXCITING AMAZING

Comment From Brett
Where does Brett Anderson end up? Who do the A’s get in return?

Dan Szymborski: I’d like to see the indians get him. Given his contract, not much

Comment From Lonny from Brooklyn
Could the Mariners put together a package for Giancarlo Stanton?

Dan Szymborski: They *could*. They just need to be willing to

Comment From Dans Handler
over/under 0.050 BA for Dan as the Astro’s DH?

Dan Szymborski: I think I could hit .050.

Dan Szymborski: Randy Johnson topped .100 BA for his career and batted like an ent having a seizure.

Comment From Tom
More likely: Ubaldo resigning with Cleveland or Dan Szymborski bring Poland to greatness in EUIV?

Dan Szymborski: The latter probably.

Comment From Timothy
Weren’t you going to release the Braves ZiPS next?

Dan Szymborski: Since the Braves were already scheduled to go this week, I gave the trivia winner the option for the Braves to go first next year, which he accepted.

Comment From BobbyS
Does ZiPS like Gausman for 2014, or does he have a little more to gain from AAA for a few months or so?

Dan Szymborski: ZiPS likes, depending on what you mean by like. It’s not a Wacha projection.

Comment From Gila Monster
Will Beltran DH in New York? Soriano is leaps and bounds of a better defender. A Garnder/Ellsbury/Soriano OF sounds good to me

Dan Szymborski: He should. Beltran isn’t the player he used to be defensively by a large margin

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
What’s the deal with Mark Trumbo? Who cares?

Dan Szymborski: 1. Mark Trumbo is a mammal. 2. Mark Trumbo swings ALL the time. 3. The purpose of Mark Trumbo is to flip out and hit homers.

Dan Szymborski: There was an early MacGyver episode called Trumbo’s World.

Dan Szymborski: Though it simply involved MacGyver squaring off against evil ants in South America.

Dan Szymborski: But since they couldn’t afford ants, they apparently used stock footage of ants from educational videos from teh 1960s. I AM NOT MAKING THIS PART UP

Comment From dbet
Our good friend Bowden said the Orioles are in on Ethier. Think he’d be worth it if he went down to 4 for 40? What level prospect would you give up?(hopefully this leads to more eye gouging)

Dan Szymborski: Meh.

Dan Szymborski: How many times do I gotta say Meh. Is double Meh good or worse?

Comment From Guest
What do you think LaRussa, Cox, and Torre getting voted in (by everyone) and no one else getting more than half the votes needed?

Dan Szymborski: Miller should be in.

Dan Szymborski: But they’re reasonable choices.

Dan Szymborski: Now the Hall just needs the COMMITTEE TO FIX DUMBASS BBWAA VOTING CRAP

Dan Szymborski: If Quantum Leap aired today, every single episode should be Scott Bakula jumping into a writer to prevent them from submitting HoF ballot that suggests a room temperature IQ.

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
Where is it illegal to sing? Other than the town in Footloose?

Dan Szymborski: Belarus, I think.

Comment From Sun Tzu
First Rule of War: If you can’t win, don’t fight. Please forward to Jack Zduriencik.

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
That was McClellan’s problem. All it took was Grant to decide he wasn

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
‘t afraid to lose and the war was over.

Comment From Gila Monster
Who makes the playoffs first : The Mariners or Baseball Prospectus Astros?

Dan Szymborski: The Mariners *may* be able to hotshot an appearance or two

Comment From dbet
“Wait so you’re telling me Fielder is on the Rangers now AND Cano signed with the Mariners?! “SIRI, HOW DO YOU THROW A SLIDER?”

— Sean Doolittle (@whatwouldDOOdo)”

Comment From Plump Frank
Thoughts on the relative trade cost of Sale and Price?

Dan Szymborski: Sale is better than Price and has a very nice contract that any GM should want to make sweet, sweet love to.

Dan Szymborski: Seriously, pick up all the options and Sale’s de facto contract is 6 years for something around *70* million.

Comment From Ian
Does Phillips start the year as a Red and if not what kind of return might he bring?

Dan Szymborski: I think he starts the year with the Reds.

Comment From Gold Glover
Would you agree that while hitting a baseball is a much harder skill to develop, that teams need to start spending some money on “developing” fielding….things like range and arm accuracy, and to some extent arm strength, seems like things you can actually spend time on and improve….or at the end of the day is it all “chicks dig the long ball”

Dan Szymborski: Generally speaking, it’s easier to develop a player’s fielding. There are lots of guys that would be amazing fielders but can’t hit enough to make the majors at any position

Comment From Ms guy
A lot of Seattle fans don’t like Geoff Baker because he is a professional troll who doesnt know a ton about baseball and won’t vote for Edgar for HOF. Fair reasons?

Dan Szymborski: If that’s your opinion,it’s a fair justification.

Dan Szymborski: Baker once referred to me as “some kind of grand wizard,” which I was a little annoyed by because it implies I’m a KKK leader.

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
Do you wait so long to rake leaves in the hopes that your neighbor’s get frustrated looking at your lawn and they just do it for you?

Dan Szymborski: No, it’s just that this one tree in the front yard is always the last tree on the block to lose its leaves and I’m sure as HELL not raking twice.

Comment From Malone
What would you expect Kemp to get if he were an FA today?

Dan Szymborski: 2/40

Comment From APODionysus
Non Baseball Question: Kicking tenants out of their rental in a subdivided house, so you can convert it to a single family residence and sell it with a mere 30 days warning in the middle of the Holiday season: Dick move, yes? I needed to vent.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, kind of a dick move.

Dan Szymborski: Especially since, if I recall our conversation, it’s preventing you from playing Bioshock Infinite!

Comment From John
Napoli also surprised with his 1B defense. He is worth more today.

Comment From Jared (FINALS WEEK!!!)
How terrified are you that Mussina falls off the ballot? I recently had to convince my roommate, a huge baseball fan, that he was even decent!

Dan Szymborski: Mildly concerned. I’m hoping the win total gives him enough to stay on.

Comment From Jim
YOUR NOT FUNNY. FIRST TIME AT THE CHAT, AND LAST TIME!

Dan Szymborski: What is my Not Funny? Is it something you eat? You’re implying, after all, that I’m in possession of one.

Comment From Mr. Wrestling IV
I would like to see Josh Johnson take the mound in Double J’s tights.

Comment From Jim
YOU NEVER ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS. WASTE OF TIME HERE

Dan Szymborski: Go ask Jeeves.

Dan Szymborski: Oh, that’s right, you CAN’T! FACE.

Comment From Aaron
Can this end soon so I can go back to studying for my Crim Law final? I don’t have the self-control to stop myself

Dan Szymborski: It’s going to end soon since I’ve been chatting non-stop since 10 AM and I really have to go to the bathroom.

Dan Szymborski: So, this is the time to get your last questions in, especially those of the crazy variety.

Comment From Beattie
This may be an odd question, but why do front offices make awful moves? For example, the Doug Fister or Dexter Fowler trades. How does anyone who thinks that is a good trade get a job in baseball? How does their support staff not murder them for it?

Dan Szymborski: Dombrowski really likes Robbie Ray. The Rockies trade of Fowler was horrific.

Dan Szymborski: The Peter Principle is strong.

Comment From Seattle native
Is the front office the reason people say Seattle has to pay more to attract a free agent? Because the implication that a player would prefer to live in Detroit instead of Seattle is laughable.

Comment From Eddie Gaedel
Who is the biggest bargain left in the starting pitching FA market?

Dan Szymborski: Probably Colon. Both literally and figuratively.

Comment From kevinthecomic
WOW — just read the op. ed. (at least I think it is op. ed.) from the Seattle Times — if even 10% of that is true, it is pretty damning — Jack Z’s rebuttal today is pretty weak and doesn’t address many of the accusations.

Dan Szymborski: I dont’ think it’s op-ed as it had straight up reporting

Comment From Semperty
With no one liking the BBWAA voting results (in anything) do you think someone will step up and replace them?

Dan Szymborski: HoF will have to reform sooner or later. Yes, the induction room is just a boring one with plaques, but the value of an award always depends on whether or not it’s being awarded in a non-crazy manner.

Comment From Steve
MLB franchises compared to Civil War generals: go!

Dan Szymborski: Let’s see, Mariners are Braxton Bragg because they futilely charge uphill and stupid people like them

Dan Szymborski: (well, like their moves)

Dan Szymborski: Cardinals are George Thomas. Not aggressive but don’t need to be.

Dan Szymborski: I guess the Rays would be Stonewall Jackson and the REd Sox Lee.

Dan Szymborski: Braves are Meade. Phillies are Burnside.

Comment From Guest of Guest
The wind + decomposition will rake those leaves eventually.

Dan Szymborski: That’s for the backyard!

Comment From Gila Monster
Chris Sale’s pitching mechanics also makes Dr. James Andrews aroused.

Comment From Tom
No it’s not a dick move…they could have timed their non-payments/douchebaggery because they felt they had immunity due to the holidays.

Comment From Gila Monster
APODionysus, Make the landlord evict you. Eviction processes take forever and will buy you time.

Dan Szymborski: But it might make things awkward with the next landlord?

Comment From Matt
Is there a schedule for when the zips forecasts come out somewhere?

Dan Szymborski: On my PC!

Comment From APODionysus
Im still finding time to play Infinite. As much as I really, really shouldnt. Maybe I should pack up my computer FIRST…

Dan Szymborski: Shouldn’t take long to pack up a PC.

Dan Szymborski: My PC is always the last thing to be packed and the first to be unpacked.

Dan Szymborski: In my last move, electricity was on, but no internet and furniture had not arrived.

Dan Szymborski: So I hung out with my sleeping bag and pillows and beat Destiny of an Emperor on NES emulator (and the sequel)

Comment From Guest
I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT!

Dan Szymborski: YOU GOTTA YELL THESE DAYS

Comment From Aarons Dad
Aaron get to work

Comment From Zach
Orioles fans need a reason to hope. Can you give me anything?

Dan Szymborski: Chap’s still has delicious pit beef. The light rail is very convenient.

Comment From dbet
Are you playing MMORPGs now/plan on playing some in the future?

Dan Szymborski: I’m currently playing FFXIV

Dan Szymborski: In fact, I have a spare FFXIV character with one of the nerdiest puns ever.

:

Comment From Gila Monster
Couldn’t the internet baseball writers pay a nominal fee to have a daily “newspaper” printed with a bunch of baseball stories in it, therefore granting them membership to the BBWAA?

Dan Szymborski: The newspaper would have to be given media access first.

Comment From Guest
Footloose town didn’t ban singing – they banned dancing. Thus the title of the movie, Footloose 🙂

Dan Szymborski: Throatloose sounds like a poorly attended sequel. Or possibly the porno version.

Comment From BobbyS
Telltale Games (Walking Dead) is doing Game of Thrones… interested?!

Dan Szymborski: We shall see.

Comment From Braves
General Lee…one little victory, loses the war every fucking time

Comment From Steve
Bragg also constantly fought with his subordinates, much like in Seattle (according to reports)

Comment From Brandon
Yankees have to be Grant, yes?

Comment From Geoff Baker
Not a big Mariners fan are you Dan?

Comment From Bob
The writers aren’t going to vote Pedro in on the first ballot, are they?

Dan Szymborski: Oh god, don’t get me mad about next year’s eventual voting. I’m already pissed about this year’s eventual voting.

Comment From Brick
I killed a guy with a trident.

Comment From Bob
The organist in church this weekend played Messiaen’s God Among Us. Great stuff. Woke up all the old people.

Dan Szymborski: OK, on that note, time to bugger off for another week. I remain Dan Szymborski, the Worst Person Ever, and you can find my writing (and various other things) at ESPN.com, chats and projections here, and DSzymborski on Twitter.

Comment From APODionysus
If Pedro doesnt get in on the first ballot, the entire human endeavor will be a failure.