Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 5/10/17
1:59 |
: Let’s get this party started!
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1:59 |
: NOTE: THIS IS NOT A PARTY
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2:00 |
: What are the Nats doing with Joe Ross?
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2:00 |
: They want him to get his confidence back. He got destroyed in his Syracuse start too.
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2:00 |
: How much are you buying new-look Yonder Alonso? Flukey 5 weeks or a guy who could end the season with 40 HR?
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2:00 |
: Talked about this on Twitter, but I’m buying significant improvement when it comes to Alonso. He’s not driving everything into the ground, his launch angle is actually getting him some power.
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2:01 |
: Now, there will always be some regression when you hit like that, but I think Alonso is a lot more real than someone like Avi or The March King.
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2:01 |
: Hey Dan, which should I trust more: Steven Souza’s actual wOBA which is .361 or his expected wOBA from baseball savant which is .289?
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2:01 |
: Speaking of!
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2:02 |
: I’m more skeptical of Souza.
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2:02 |
: Any chance the Reds move Joey Votto and could they get any kind of meaningful return?
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2:02 |
: No, yes.
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2:03 |
: The Reds look shockingly capable position player wise. Which breakouts are you buying between Cozart, Schebler, and Suarez?
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2:03 |
: Suarez easily the most, I think.
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2:03 |
: His power developed last couple years but he was always a better all-around hitter than he shoed in 2016.
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2:04 |
: Now, he’s obviously not *this* good – we’re talking degrees of regression, not whether he’ll regress at all.
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2:04 |
: Even with Syndergaard on the shelf, should I give up Schwarber to try to get Thor?
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2:04 |
: No, Too many years of control for Thor.
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2:04 |
: Matt Andriese got charged with a run on a balk because his legal double tap in the windup would be illegal from the stretch, and apparently you need to declare windup or stretch under certain scenarios now. When was this rule enacted? The only new balk rule I see for this season is the Capps one.
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2:04 |
: The balk rules essentially feel like codified Calvinball.
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2:05 |
: What do you make of TJ Rivera?
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2:06 |
: Skeptical still, but he has earned a chance to prove that he isn’t
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2:06 |
: Cotton or Gsellman for ROS?
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2:06 |
: Cotton higher on average, Gsellman higher ceiling.
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2:06 |
1) Judge in courtroom references 2) Judge Dredd references 3) Judge Reinhold/Arrested Development references |
2:06 |
: I like the courtroom ones.
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2:06 |
: I’m an advocate of him getting an oversized novelty gavel and hitting the field with it after home runs.
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2:07 |
: With the Giants going the way they are, do you think we see them giving young arms like Beede some real MLB experience this year?
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2:07 |
: They’ve laready hinted at him being an injury replacement at some point. I’d like to see him get settled at AAA before though.
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2:07 |
: Welcome to the 237th installment of Dan Szymborski Sets You Straight
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2:08 |
: Scared Straight, starring PRISON SZYM
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2:08 |
: What is Evan Longoria’s trade value like these days?
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2:08 |
: It’s not that high. Remember, he’s on year one of a 6/100.
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2:09 |
: Now, he has value in a trade, don’t get me wrong
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2:09 |
: But he’s not a young star anymore and he’s not in OMG THAT CONTRACT IS INSANE phase.
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2:09 |
: At this point, rather than insist their teams are actually better than projection systems suggest, should Orioles fans just embrace the perception of the team as lucky? It’s kinda more fun to root for a bad/mediocre team that keeps lucking into wins than a good team playing to its potential, right?
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2:09 |
: It’s not like the Bad News Bears were a super-talented team after all
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2:10 |
: I don’t think there’ necessarily anything wrong with being scrappy underdogs!
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2:10 |
: Is a hot dog a sandwich? Is a grilled cheese a sandwich? What’s the meaning of life? Thank you for answering these questions.
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2:10 |
: NO, yes.
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2:10 |
: Assume that the Cubs (or anyone really) currently have a 15% chance of winning the World Series per your projections (whatever the actual number is fine). Would they trade their current situation for being down in the 9th inning in game 7 of the World Series if their odds of winning that game were something like 12% (per win probability)?
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2:11 |
: I think probably not. What’s the point of a WS opportunity that you didn’t earn?
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2:11 |
: Now that the ball is (probably) juiced, should ballparks look at raising/pushing back some fences in order to put more balls into play?
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2:11 |
: I think you’ll need strike zone changes and possibly a slightly deader ball.
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2:11 |
: What should my owners do with me? I am really frustrating to own right now 🙁
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2:11 |
: Patience
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2:11 |
: What humorous item would you put in Carson Cistulli’s locker during a TV interview?
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2:11 |
: Baby monitor. Then the cops can finally shut down the corruption.
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2:12 |
: Hey Dan, you were pretty critical of the A’s decision to bring back Alonso this year. Has your opinion changed given how he’s played, or do you still think the A’s would’ve been better off trying someone with more control who might be a useful piece in the future?
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2:12 |
: I was. I do not regret my argument as I still feel that the argument was absolutely sound given the evidence at the time.
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2:13 |
: The A’s didn’t have the skeleton key to unlock Alonso’s potential last year after all. And it’s not like *they* saw this coming; if they had, they likely make a much stronger effort at some kind of upside long-term deal
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2:14 |
: Unlikely stuff happens in baseball. If someone can’t deal with that, they shouldn’t make predictions!
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2:14 |
: Kershaw: concerned? Obviously he’s still great even when his slider is flat, hard, and hittable, but he’s definitely lost something due to his slider blending into what seems to be a softer fastball
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2:14 |
: I’m not.
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2:15 |
: Is there anything encouraging in my batted ball profile? Seems like last year was a mirage.
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2:15 |
: I’m a bit more worried about approach, really. Been *really* reaching for stuff.
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2:16 |
: Now, Diaz is actually pretty solid at hitting bad stuff. But he’s not hitting bad stuff *well*
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2:16 |
: Heard a rumor that Darvish would like to stay in Texas. Couldn’t they flip him at the deadline and just say “hey we will re-sign you in the off-season”? Kinda like the Tankees did with Aroldis?
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2:16 |
: They could.
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2:17 |
: As long as they do it delicately
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2:17 |
: Trey Mancini – everyday player? and with him and Seth Smith playing well, what to do with Kim?
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2:17 |
: Orioles should trade Kim. Get something for him. I like Kim, but the O’s have always seemed to have casual disinterest in using him.
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2:17 |
: Worried about Arrieta? His babip is up, LOB is down, and GB% is down. What do you make of all that? Think he gets back to where he was last year?
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2:17 |
: I’m concernred, not worried yet.
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2:17 |
: Do they Mets have the worst PR team in sports? They have a remarkable ability to turn minor things into giant PR disasters. Players show up hungover all the time and we never hear about it, but the Mets are sending goons to Harveys apartment. They make him publicly apologize. Can the Mets seriously not keep anything a secret? It wasn’t even his day to pitch nobody would have even known he wasn’t there had they not decided to suspend him
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2:18 |
: I’m not sure a welfare check is goons.
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2:18 |
: But the Mets have absolutely handled it poorly.
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2:18 |
: See my tweet last night.
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2:18 |
: Could you ever vote for The Rock as president when the People’s Elbow is such a weak finishing move?
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2:19 |
: Here’s my problem with The People’s Elbow. When it was used as a *humiliation* move, one that he would do after destroying the other guy, it makes sens from a storyline perspective and from a character one. But when it was occasionally billed as a devestating move in its own right, that was absurd.
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2:19 |
: Dave Cameron seems to think Jeimer Candelario is all but assured to be traded by the Cubs. What teams are likely destinations?
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2:19 |
: I suspect Dave is right.
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2:20 |
: It really depends on who is selling.
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2:20 |
: Call me crazy, but I think he could end up in Toronto if the Blue Jays start selling
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2:22 |
: (I suspect vlad ends up in the OF)
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2:22 |
: Dan, by following you on twitter I soon became aware of your passion for adult wrestling. I’ve never had much interest for the “sport”, but what one youtube clip would you recommend to change my opinion for a lifetime.
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2:22 |
: Well, it’s a not a sport.
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2:23 |
: There is a lot of baseball nerd/wrestling nerd crossover
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2:24 |
: A youtube clip would depend on what aspect you would most be interested in. The camp? A solidly worked physical match that conforms to the physical “universe” rules of wrestling?
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2:25 |
: Giants look to be throwing in the towel on this season early. Would trading Samardzija to the Angels (for a bag of balls) make sense for both sides right now?
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2:25 |
: Do the Angels have a bag of balls?
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2:25 |
: Was offered AJ Pollock and Lester for my Thames and Gio Gonzalez. Finding it hard to pull the trigger given Thames’ production, but is this overwhelming enough that I *must* accept…
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2:25 |
: Thames is a good power hitter.
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2:25 |
: But I don’t like Gio enough that I’d strongly consider.
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2:25 |
: Arrieta a buy low?
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2:25 |
: I fyou can, probably, but I don’t think he’s going to match his best
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2:26 |
: on a recent podcast you put out a quintana to colorado for rodgers/hoffman/freeman. could tapia swap out for freeman? is that something both sides would be agreeable to?
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2:26 |
: Well, Rodgers/Hoffman/Something is as high as the Rockies would go probably.
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2:27 |
: Or did I say Freeland?
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2:28 |
: But I don’t think they do it with Tapia
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2:28 |
: Do you think Ben Gamel is for real? What do you expect from him going forward?
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2:28 |
: I think it’s too early to say that, for sure.
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2:29 |
: I don’t expect him to hit for much power and his very small sample size is very BA driven
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2:30 |
: Trade Rizzo for Carrasco, Cargo, Conforto? Conforto started off last year strong and fell off. Is this year different?
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2:30 |
: For all three? Sure
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2:30 |
: Is there something wrong with bregman? He is hitting more ground balls than last year but is this just a early season power outage or was last year a mirage?
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2:30 |
: I’m not worried yet.
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2:30 |
: I’ve shopped Dylan Bundy in my 12 team mixed lg but no takers. Any issue with dropping him over the likes of McCarthy, Nola, Matz or Pomeranz? Guys like Manaea, Walker, and Sonny Gray are available as well.
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2:31 |
: I’ll be honest, I’m not sure why you’re trying to drop Bundy in the first place.
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2:31 |
: Did he screw up his shoulder this morning or something?
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2:31 |
: Despite my hot start, do I miss the ASG again this year because of Ryan Zimmerman and Eric Thames?
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2:31 |
: YOUR THE WORST PLAYER EVER COUNT THE RBIs
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2:31 |
: Do you believe in Aaron Hicks as a fantasy asset and will the at bats ever be there?
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2:31 |
: No
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2:32 |
: what is the counter-punch by pitchers to this uppercut revolution (that really isn’t all that new)?
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2:32 |
: Work higher in the zone and force another swing on someone who is getting too used to uppercuts.
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2:33 |
: I know Aaron Judge is the next big thing, but I look at his road numbers, I look at what Yankee Stadium does for right-handed power, and I can’t shake the feeling that Judge is “merely” an above-average regular as opposed to a franchise cornerstone. Am I nitpicking?
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2:33 |
: I think you’re nitpicking a bit here
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2:34 |
: Actual home road splits do a very poor job predicting the future.
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2:34 |
: They’re extremely noisy – actual home/road splits don’t even predict future home/road splits as well as generic park factors applied do
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2:34 |
: Cameron is not sold on Severino as an ace. What say you?
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2:34 |
: As an ace? Maybe not. He gets gopherball prone sometimes.
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2:35 |
: But I was high on him last year and I’m not changing it
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2:36 |
: Since dahl is going to be out a while still? Assuming Reynolds continues to get playing time what are your thoughts ROS? Could he hit 25+ hrs due to the fact of playing in COL
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2:36 |
: The team is taking it cautious with him.
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2:36 |
: He’s only working out now and seeing if he can do it painlessly
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2:36 |
: A few weeks ago he couldn’t
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2:36 |
: 2 more hits for Ben “don’t call me Matt” Gamel. They gotta keep putting his name on the card, right?
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2:36 |
: So we can call him Mat?
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2:36 |
: When a traditionally “bad” hitter like Avi Garcia puts together a hot start like this, do you expect him to “cool off” to his pre-season projections, or to “cool off” to something worse to compensate for his previous hot streak. I know it’s called the gamblers fallacy just don’t remember what the fallacy is.
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2:37 |
: Well, cool off to the reshuffled projections.
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2:37 |
: I certainly don’t expect something worse, that would be stupid.
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2:37 |
: If I thought Yonder Alonso’s rest-of-season projection was WORSE than it was 6 weeks ago, one of you guys should beat me with a shovel.
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2:38 |
: Will Brandon Belt ever be more than “meh”?
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2:39 |
: You’re quite difficult to impress if a 126 career OPS+ and 3.7 bWAR/600, 3.5 fWAR/600 is meh.
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2:39 |
: Morales may be on the DL soon. What do the Jays do? Are they screwed for the season at this point?
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2:39 |
: They’re screwed anyway.
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2:40 |
: Morales could come back from the DL as a deity and the Jays would still have a real issue.
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2:40 |
: If you were to put the curse of Cistulli on a team, what would that do to the team?
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2:40 |
: scourged genitals
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2:40 |
: The Aaron Judge novelty gavel is kind of like the Paul O’Neill novelty pacifier, right?
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2:42 |
: Ronald Acuna: Andruw Jones?
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2:42 |
: Let’s not go too crazy!
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2:43 |
: AJ was a freak of a prospect
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2:43 |
: Not that Acuna’s not a really excellent prospec tor antyhing
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2:43 |
: Trevor Cahill…is the resurgence real?
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2:43 |
: I’m cautiously optimistic. Batters are chasing his knuckle curve thing
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2:44 |
: He’s tinkered with his curve a number of times. I thin khe changed up the grip last year, but I’m honestly not positive off-the-cuff.
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2:45 |
: With his recent demotion back to AAA is it getting close to the time to declare Matt Wisler a bust?
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2:45 |
: Certainly not looking great for Wisler. I don’t like to declare any 24 yo pitcher a definite bust, but the shine is way off
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2:45 |
: I’m not claling him a bust yet, though.
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2:45 |
: So with the breakout of Judge, the Yankees may very well not be in the market for a RF after 2018 and they won’t need Harper. Has Judge sealed Machado to the Yankees?
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2:45 |
: NOT THINKING OF THAT
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2:46 |
: In which SECOND universe does Ryan Goins have more home runs than Bautista?
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2:46 |
: The weird one that we got to somehow in 2016
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2:47 |
: Do you expect Bedrosian to take the job back from Norris? Scioscia wasn’t in any rush to give it to him in the first place at the start of the season.
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2:47 |
: You want me to get into the mind of Scioscia?
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2:48 |
: Which contender would be least hurt by the loss of their best player? Gotta be the Dodgers, right?
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2:48 |
: If you count the Cardinals, I think them.
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2:48 |
: No team relies on just having a bunch of above-average players and without superstars as the Cards do
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2:49 |
: (Though C-Mart can become a superstar)
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2:49 |
: That the Dodgers didn’t collapse when they lost Kershaw last year doens’t mean they weren’t super hurt by it or that they wouldn’t in the future
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2:49 |
: Do you still maintain that anabolic steroids are not a performance enhancer?
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2:49 |
: I’ve never said that, I’m very careful when I word things.
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2:50 |
: I maintain that at the professional *baseball* level, there is no evidence that a steroid suspension or documented steroid use has had any effect on future proejctions.
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2:50 |
: Players in that group have *no* tendency as a group to underperform after or overperform before. They have had *no* tendency to have unusual career curves as a group, either.
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2:50 |
: They have no tendency to develop unexpectedly as prospects or decline less.
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2:51 |
: In baseball at least, the direct impact of steroid use on performance is VERY scant.
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2:51 |
: Whether you look at major leaguers or all players busted.
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2:53 |
: Would you trade Rizzo for Conforto and Carrasco? Cant keep Rizzo but would keep Conforto late next two years.
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2:53 |
: I would
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2:53 |
: can you out drink matt harvey?
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2:53 |
: Probably 15 years ago.
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2:54 |
: Yankees fans standing for Judge’s ABs at home games should be a thing, no?
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2:54 |
: You’re supposed to stand when the judge enters the courtroom
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2:54 |
: If you had to tank a season, but couldn’t refuse to participate, which batter and which hitter would be your guys?
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2:54 |
: I’d just ask Dave Stewart for his sleeper picks
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2:55 |
: Bruce for J. Turner is a no-brainer?
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2:55 |
: I’d suspect the person/team trading Turner away here is legally brain-dead, so yes.
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2:55 |
: This greek salad from Panera just isn’t cutting it for me.
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2:55 |
: The Rock Bottom was by far the more devastating-looking finisher.
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2:55 |
: It’s been close to two decades since I watched, but didn’t the Rock have another (real) finishing move?
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2:55 |
: Yes ^^
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2:56 |
: Why do you answer only troll questions?
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2:56 |
: I answer lots of real questions.
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2:56 |
: I answer a question based on the probability it would yield an interesting or at least mildly entertaining answer.
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2:56 |
: Who would you think would come over to the Cubs in a Candelario trade with the Jays?
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2:56 |
: There are actually lots of possibilities, depending on what the Cubs need at the time.
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2:57 |
: If the Jays become seller, they have a lot of itneresting parts.
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2:57 |
: What do you make of Kevin Pillar’s power spike? What indicators can we look at to see whether or not it is at least somewhat real?
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2:58 |
: I think it’s improved. Though not “for real”. Real/not-real is a fake dichotomy.
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2:58 |
: If looking at simpler stats, hard hit % and GB/FB
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2:58 |
: If all your other job opportunities dried up, but you were offered a job by all 30 MLB teams to work as an analyst (and everything else about the jobs, e.g., pay, were the same), which team would you pick?
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2:59 |
: Well, O’s of course. Reds if this was a job I’d have to show up at an office for.
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2:59 |
: But again, that’s only for this theoretical.
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3:00 |
: I don’t work in media because I want a job in baseball. I could have one of those if I wanted. I work in media becuase I want to work in media.
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3:00 |
: I come here to discuss baseball yet you’re answering shitty troll questions dammit.
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3:00 |
: First six words are your issue
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3:00 |
: OK, say The Rock runs for president….who is his running mate?
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3:00 |
: Mick Foley. Duh
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3:00 |
: dan, you’re the best. that is all.
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3:00 |
: I LIKE THIS GUY BETTER
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3:00 |
: Am I a sandwich?
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3:01 |
: This is my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.
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3:01 |
: Oh, MARK Hamburger
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3:01 |
: Yes
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3:01 |
: If a MLB team moved to Delaware, what would its nickname be?
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3:01 |
: Dover Bens
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3:01 |
: How soon will Devers be in Boston starting at 3rd? Bogaerts got 250 PA in Pawtucket and Benintendi skipped AAA.
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3:02 |
: The Red Sox *claim* they don’t want to rush Devers.
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3:02 |
: But honestly, I’m not sure I believe htem.
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3:02 |
: I think it’s very possible, simply because there are lot of scenarios in which eh’s the best WIN NOW 3B in the organization
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3:03 |
: Once the BABIP returns to normal, is this the end of the line for Nick Markakis?
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3:03 |
: Markakis is one of those guys who will get jobs forever.
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3:03 |
: you did say freeland, i had freddie on my mind
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3:03 |
: OK, I thought maybe I said Marvin Freeman, which would’ve been weird because I wasn’t drunk
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3:03 |
: I fire all my bullets (questions) during Dave’s chat; he never answers them, then I’m spent by the time your chat rolls around.
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3:03 |
: Harvey didn’t show up hungover. He didn’t show up.
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3:03 |
: Do you play any baseball simulation games? If so which do you prefer for accuracy? (Diamond Mind is the one I am most familiar with.)
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3:04 |
: I play both DMB and OOTP
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3:04 |
: What basic statistic angers you the most when used in arguments about who is a better player?
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3:04 |
: RBI
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3:04 |
: Cluck-cluck-cluck-cluck
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3:04 |
: This guy is sending nonstop cluck questions. I’m not sure what the joke is.
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3:04 |
: Is it the word anymore?
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3:04 |
: Everybody knows. Duh
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3:04 |
: Yonder or Bird rest of the season?
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3:05 |
: Yonder
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3:05 |
: It’s weird that I’m saying that
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3:05 |
: Is Bolsinger due for a rebound year? Lot of walks last night but the Jays need the rotation help and Mat Latos should certainly not be on the shuttle up to Toronto anytime soon
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3:05 |
: I just don’t think Bolsinger’s that good
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3:05 |
: How do the Rays feel about the KK extension now that he is striking out a ton and has 3 errors on the year?
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3:05 |
: The same. Why would I panic over 5 weeks?
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3:06 |
: You expect this to continue with Bundy given his minuscule K%? He seems like a 3.80, 1.25 guy at best.
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3:07 |
: Yeah, but I expect him to strike out more guys
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3:07 |
: What is the best argument you’ve heard for people defending baseball vs. people who think its boring (claiming its slow, no physical contact, etc.)?
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3:07 |
: NUH UH
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3:07 |
: The Dahl question was about Reynolds. Expect big things from the 1B rest of season, or no?
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3:07 |
: Oops, me no read well?
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3:07 |
: I don’t expect big things, but I think tis’ a particularly good environment for Reynolds
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3:09 |
: purely eye test, but it does seem like avi garcia is at least hitting the ball harder this year (he has also legged out a few more infield singles than he would have in the past). when his babip regresses to its norm could it settle around .350 instead of ~.300
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3:10 |
: This is the part where I note that Garcia’s exit velocity is off from last year (90.3 to 88.8 this year)
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3:10 |
: Is Schebler Jay Bruce 2.0 or Jay Bruce Light?
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3:10 |
: 2.0. Bruce wasn’t really that great
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3:10 |
: Should we be assuming Quintana is battling an injury?
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3:10 |
: No.
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3:10 |
: Cat Update, please
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3:11 |
: Don’t know where Pandora is. Galileo’s sitting on my office couch cleaning his face (he’s getting over a cut Mercutio gave him on his nose). Mercutio ran away and hid when the UPS truck went up the street and I dont’ know where he is now
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3:11 |
: The Yankees are good again. This is bad.
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3:11 |
: Who do you like more ROS in H2H between Carlos Gonzalez or McCutchen?
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3:11 |
: God
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3:11 |
: Assuming fantasy, CarGo I guess.
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3:11 |
: Does moving Yoan Moncada to CF make any sense? It seems like a waste of his athletic talents to have him at 2B. We also have no CF depth in the entire organization.
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3:12 |
: I hate moving a player until you absolutely have to
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3:12 |
: Why can’t the Orioles keep Machado? They’re rich too. All the teams are rich. Why is Machado somehow worth more to the Yankees?
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3:12 |
: I just can’t see the O’s spending $300 million on a player.
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3:12 |
: The Mind of Scioscia . . . a new baseball comedy coming this fall to FOX
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3:12 |
: Who doesn’t have a job at the end of the year out of Bochy, Gibbons, and Bannister?
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3:13 |
: Gibbons has to be on teh hot seat
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3:13 |
: Greatest match you ever ever witnessed in person? Can it beat Macho Man vs Jake the Snake in a steel cage? (1992 Seattle)
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3:13 |
: I haven’t been lucky with the matches, honestly.
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3:13 |
: THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SAID.
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3:13 |
: “THE DIRECT IMPACT OF STEROID USE ON PERFORMANCE IS VERY SCANT”
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3:13 |
: “THE DIRECT IMPACT OF STEROID USE ON PERFORMANCE IS VERY SCANT”???????
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3:13 |
: We have unhinged!
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3:14 |
: Do miss being able to answer 70% of the questions with “April”?
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3:14 |
: I still could if I wanted to.
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3:14 |
: I find your chats to be the most entertaining. I look forward to your answers, even if it is not my question.
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3:14 |
: APRIL
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3:14 |
: See?
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3:14 |
: No, this was a binding offer, which you accepted. You start Monday. Report to Mr. Angelos’s office.
|
3:14 |
: If the Yankees go with Machado, as someone previously suggested, where does Harper end up?
|
3:15 |
: Rangers? Phillies?
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3:16 |
: I take a bite of pizza and the cheese and toppings fall off. I replace them on the dough, fold it in half, and take another bite. Do I have an isosceles triangle-shaped sandoozle?
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3:16 |
: Without parameters for sandoozles, I’ll say yes.
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3:16 |
: who do you like more going forward, corey dickerson or keon roxton?
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3:16 |
: Broxton
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3:16 |
: Matt Harvey was 13 15 years ago. I’m pretty confident you could’ve drank him under the table.
|
3:16 |
: Just to piss of Bartolo’s colon, what are your cats up too?
|
3:16 |
: Was Hulk Hogan joining the NWO the greatest thing to ever happen in Wrestling
|
3:16 |
: It was fun
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3:16 |
: Do you read the comments on your ESPN pieces?
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3:17 |
: Never read the comments! Anyone who is coherent can hit me up on Twitter
|
3:17 |
: What was the last fiction book you read? Non-fiction?
|
3:18 |
: The last fiction book I read was Herman Wouk’s The Lawgiver. The last non-fiction was Shattered.
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3:18 |
: Maybe Kiermeier is now hanging out with Matt Harvey?
|
3:18 |
: if one guy hits 60+ HR’s this year, who will it be? If you answer Harper, then pick a 2nd guy who does it.
|
3:18 |
: I think ZiPS actually has Judge with the highest chance.
|
3:18 |
: When is a good time to start panicking?
|
3:18 |
: When the second amublance appears.
|
3:18 |
: There’s nothing worse than when you sit on a toilet in a public restroom and it’s lukewarm
|
3:19 |
: Which fake medical condition would you rather have – A long tail that you can use to grab stuff with, or green tennis ball fur for pubes?
|
3:19 |
: I’ll take the fur.
|
3:20 |
: Seth Romero…yikes. How far does he fall in the draft?
|
3:20 |
: I think he’ll still go in the first round.
|
3:21 |
: Everyone likes pitching.
|
3:22 |
: If a pitcher blew up a bus full of war orphans and wasn’t going to serve a suspension, teams would still bid on the pitcher if he had a good ERA!
|
3:22 |
: Would you rather have pipe cleaners for hair or have extremely hairy butt cheeks?
|
3:22 |
: The latter. I can shave you know.
|
3:22 |
: Did you name that cat Mercutio before or after he started cutting everyone up?
|
3:22 |
: He’s not usually violent. He’s actually kind of a coward.
|
3:22 |
: If you took a modern, progressive front office and plopped them in the 1990s, would they a) compile a superpower team because they know everything nobody else does or b) all be fired because everyone in the industry would think they’re insane?
|
3:22 |
: They’d probably be fired.
|
3:23 |
: I think the clucks were marte calling you a chicken
|
3:23 |
: <iframe width=”560″ height=”315″ src=” frameborder=”0″ allowfullscreen></iframe>
|
3:23 |
: Just start answering May.
|
3:23 |
: April
|
3:23 |
: What was the name of that news reporter in the Ninja Turtles?
|
3:23 |
: O’Neill
|
3:24 |
: What was the name of the girl that Chris Pratt’s character marries in Parks and Recreation?
|
3:24 |
: Ludgate
|
3:24 |
: I’m a Red Sox fan and I think it would be awesome if instead of “now batting”, they said something along the lines of “All Rise” when Judge comes to the plate.
|
3:24 |
: If Pham ever got consistent at bats could he be a good player?
|
3:24 |
: I think he could be an average player.
|
3:24 |
: Hey, Dan. I changed my swing, I dunno if anyone told you.
|
3:24 |
: I’ve talked about his launch angle A MILLION TIMES now
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3:24 |
: The people complaining about the questions you answer must not be regulars to your chats.
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3:24 |
: The question said *fake* medical condition but did not take into account that “fluorescent felt scrotum” is a real condition.
|
3:25 |
: OK, on that note, I have to take off for the week!
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3:25 |
: Thanks for coming everyone. You can read my work at ESPN.com, chats and projections at FanGraphs, and various sundries at DSzymborski on Twitter.
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Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.