Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 8/13/18

2:40
Dan Szymborski: I think this is a chat!

2:41
CamdenWarehouse: no poops today?

2:41
Dan Szymborski: Carson set this one and doesn’t set up the poop and peanuts. I have a competing 2:45 one, we’ll see what happens at 2:45!

2:41
Matt: I think this is a late chat*

2:41
Dbo: You this is a chat, what if its just a bunch of robots trying to prove they aren’t robots

2:42
Dan Szymborski: EAT TURING, SCUM!

2:42
CamdenWarehouse: Ah, so Carson doesn’t trust with chatting now that you represent FG

2:42
Dan Szymborski: I have a trustworthy face.

2:43
Dan Szymborski: Wait, no I don’t

2:43
john cale: Do you currently use (or have any plans to use) statcast data like xwOBA and EV in ZiPS? seems like it would add an important layer for someone like Joey Gallo who has been bumping up against a 400 xwOBA all season and is finally seeing his results catch up at this point.

2:43
Dan Szymborski: Where possible, I try to model my own solutions.

2:43
Dan Szymborski: I do use the raw rather than the derived statcast data.

2:43
Dan Szymborski: Though not in-season.

2:45
Jim Leyland Palmer: Dan,

2:45
Dan Szymborski: Jimmy,

2:45
Dan Szymborski:

2:46
SadNatsFan: For all the talk about deGrom’s lack of support, the Nats have managed to lose seven Scherzer starts so far this year. In four of them he gave up 2 runs. In two he gave up 1. And last night he gave up none. ARGH

2:46
Dan Szymborski: Yeah, but we don’t feel as bad for a 15-5 guy that “should” be 18-2 or something!

2:46
CamdenWarehouse: With Mike Scioscia retiring, who will be the most old school manager in the majors next year?

2:46
Dan Szymborski: Gardenhire? Black? Bochy?

2:46
Windows Defender: Did “The Love” Bote just put the Anvil Flattener on the National’s Season? Tough to come back from that.                                                                                                      PS The Little Red X Button knows all and sees all Dan.. It is not happy with you.

2:47
Dbo: I just built myself a bunker to hide from Red Sox fans if they set the win record, how likely is it that I will need to use it?

2:47
Dan Szymborski: Was up around 10% at last check.

2:47
Future Cy Youngs: Excuse my ignorance but can ZiPS handle future season projections? Like 5 years into the future? Would be interesting to see your handicapping award races series but 5 years in the future and then see how you do

2:47
Dan Szymborski: Yup, ZiPS does careers. Didn’t personally think handicapping awards 5 years away was all that interesting – without the contours of a race and actual in-season stuff, it’s just a list of best players in 5 years, if that makes sense.

2:48
Dan Szymborski: But if people tell me they want to see me do pieces on something, I try to oblige.

2:48
Dan Szymborski: It *is* partly a customer-service job, partly a trolling job.

2:48
Donald: What is the future of data analytics in baseball? How far are we from reaching the ceiling of what technology allows us to examine?

2:49
Dan Szymborski: I suspect statcast or statcast-like data is a lot of the missing gap in performance information. For awhile, the challenge will be what the data mean rather than what they are.

2:49
Dan Szymborski: We’re still very early with this kind of data, we’re still separating out what’s cool from what’s predictive.

2:49
Jim Leyland Palmer: Dan, what’s your take on Yoan Moncada going forward? He has all the tools, but has someone with his K profile found sustained success in the MLB?

2:50
Dan Szymborski: I remain cautiously optimistic. I almost rather a guy struggle with too many strikeouts than struggle without striking out – at least the guy struggling is likely more active, all things else being similar

2:50
Keirmaier’s Xerostomia: If the Red Sox are the Double Stuff Oreos of baseball, are the Orioles a generic Fig Newton?

2:51
Dan Szymborski: I LIKE FIG NEWTON

2:51
Dan Szymborski: The O’s would be like some Newton that they think is still good because it has ingredients from the 70s

2:51
Dan Szymborski: Aspic Newton?

2:51
Dan Szymborski: The Royals are Fig Newtons with the figs hollowed out because the GM thinks it keeps down the urges.

2:52
here goes nothing: it’s a chat! thoughts on luke weaver? been cool that he’s held up to increased load, but he’s running a big era/fip gap and k’s are down.

2:53
Dan Szymborski: I’m optimistic – he *is* nearing his professional high in innings, isn’t he?

2:53
Dan Szymborski: Probably in pitches already

2:53
E-4: Has there been any analysis of the trend for official scorers to be reluctant to call an error an error? Last night Heyward hit a routine slow chopper to second base that the infielder completely mishandled and threw away … and it was scored a “hit.” I’ve noticed this trend for several years anecdotally, but wonder if it’s actually a thing

2:54
Dan Szymborski: I haven’t looked at this issue, nor am I aware of any research offhand! If someone has seen something on this, def speak up!

2:54
fbihop: Did Manny Machado trade bats with Brian Dozier?

2:54
Dan Szymborski: UNWRITTEN RULE YOU JUS TDON”T DO THAT

2:54
Dbo: What are your thoughts on pickled cucumbers having a stranglehold on the term ‘pickle.’ Shouldn’t all pickled objects be treated equally, if I ask for  ‘pickles’ then how does the person know that I’m not asking for pickled eggs or pickled onions

2:54
Dan Szymborski: Cucumbers got there first.

2:55
Dan Szymborski: You want to order a cake for dessert and have it turn out to be a salmon cake with frosting? Respect dibs.

2:55
LFC Mike: Your Twitter picture must have been taken as you were trying to get this chat started.

2:55
Dan Szymborski: It’s one of many dumbass pictures hanging around on my PC. Figured an avatar in which I’m both confused and pondering seems appropriate.

2:56
Andrew: How ’bout dem O’s ?

2:56
Dan Szymborski: I’m t he most positive I’ve felt about the O’s in like two years.

2:56
Dan Szymborski: They’ve embraced the voice.

2:56
Dan Szymborski: void

2:56
Dan Szymborski: voice?

2:56
Cord: Cole Hamels with a velo boost since joining the Cubs

2:57
JR: The throw by Laureano go me wondering who has the best OF arm?  Cespeddes, K Calhoun, Haniger, Cain, Hamilton Puig?  any metrics?

2:58
Dan Szymborski: Statcast occasionally shows us the data, but I believe that’s one they hoard for purposes, not one they hae a leaderboard for

2:58
Dan Szymborski: unless I’m wrong!

2:58
Dan Szymborski: I can’t complain too much, I hoard ZiPS stuff too.

2:59
Dan Szymborski: Aaron Hicks had the OF velocity record at some point

2:59
CamdenWarehouse: True or false: the Orioles would have gotten a better performance at first had they brought in Rafael Palmeiro

2:59
Dan Szymborski: Probably a stretch

2:59
Sam: Can Peter Alonso be Rhys Hoskins (ish)? give a mets fan some hope

2:59
Dan Szymborski: I think people have seen them play the same night.

3:00
Dan Szymborski: I’m optimistic about Alonso

3:00
Dan Szymborski: Weirdly, people found the 242/292/439 projection coming into th season too optimistic an that would feel a bit disappointing now

3:00
Matt: Wouldn’t the name Batball have been a more accurate description of the game? It names both the items used (bases aren’t really “used”, they’re stepped on) as well as working in the verb sense of the word “bat” as one bats the ball.

3:01
Dan Szymborski: But scoring is defined by the travels between bases

3:01
Dan Szymborski: The bigger question should it be plateball

3:01
Dan Szymborski: or do we could the plate as a base explicitly?

3:03
HappyFunBall: So the Nats season is finally dead, right? All over but the shouting?

3:03
Dan Szymborski: I think they’re near dead.  FG is more optimistic

3:03
LFC Mike: Vlad Jr went 0-4 yesterday lowering his AAA batting average to just .395…this after homering for 4 straight games.  Can you clarify the whole service time deal if a player comes up on Sept 1st. vs. earlier or does it matter? Does anything really matter?

3:03
Dan Szymborski: September matters for Rookie awards, but counts for service time.

3:04
Dan Szymborski: If you’re on optional assignment ofr less than 15 or 20 days in a season (I forget the exact number right now) it counts as a full seaosn

3:04
Dan Szymborski: It’s just sometimes easier as you don’t need to clear room on the 25-man roster.

3:05
B. Ryce Hammers Luscious Locks: Does Gallo finally ride a wave of exit velocity to a 15 homer month? Seriously, I’ve been waiting on the hot streak all year!

3:05
Dan Szymborski: He’s one of the few players that could have a crazy homer season like that.

3:05
Linus: Franmil Reyes had a big AAA season. Made a minor swing adjustment (less of a leg kick). I think ZIPS might be underrating him

3:05
Dan Szymborski: It’s very possible. We’ll see what happens in the year-to-year, which is more robust

3:05
Brian CashGod: whoa whoa whoa what’s wrong with fig newtons? they’re delicious

3:05
Dan Szymborski: I like ’em

3:05
Matt: Diamondbacks have to be the favorite to run away with the West now, right?

3:06
Dan Szymborski: No, I think the Dodgers still clearly have the better roster

3:06
Gretzky: In the offseason, I’d be interested in a history of WAR piece or series. Being fairly new, I want to know more about its development and reception as well as what were some of the key arguments.

3:06
Brian CashGod: what happened to the emojis? I feel an urge to add the laughing one to your comment about the Royals

3:06
Dan Szymborski: Carson set it up and he’s not down for those sneanigans

3:06
Dan Szymborski: shenanigans

3:06
Dan Szymborski: wow, that was a bad spelling of shenanigans

3:06
CamdenWarehouse: It’s probably weird for an Orioles fan to feel bad for another team’s fans, but I definitely feel bad for Mets fans right now.

3:06
Dan Szymborski: Me too

3:07
Dan Szymborski: I don’t like O’s ownership, but I feel that the Angeli are better *intentioned* than the Wilpons

3:07
Food Critic: Sugar free Fig Newtons are awful – go original, or go home

3:07
Adam: Dan/Carson – please remember to switch the chat to a transcript at the end.  Makes it much easier to access (and print) after the chat has ended.  Thanks!

3:07
Dan Szymborski: I like to think someone’s printing these in a big binder.

3:07
Dan Szymborski: “Fat Dumb Stathead: The Coffee Table Book”

3:07
B. Ryce Hammers Luscious Locks: Pssst… Zach Godley looks like a stud again. Do you answer fantasy baseball questions too? Questions like, Godley vs Wheeler for my last rotation spot?

3:08
Dan Szymborski: I think Godley is the safer one, Wheeler a bit riskier but I think a possibly better payoff.

3:08
jimmy: can andrew benintendi keep up this type of production going forward?

3:08
Dan Szymborski: I don’t see why not, though probably a bit of a dropoff. But he’s at what a 140 OPS+?  That’s not crazy territory

3:09
Dbo: I would like to see a team called the Crows because then you could also refer to the team as a murder, this would make for great headlines like “The Yankees can’t handle a murder” or “Josh Hansen closes a Murder”

3:09
Craig: Family wants me to fry steaks tonight. Never done it. What should I do? How do I prepare?

3:09
Dan Szymborski: FRY a steak?

3:10
Dan Szymborski: These are real steak right?

3:10
Dan Szymborski: Exile them to Steakcliff, Minnesota until they learn their lesson.

3:10
Dan Szymborski:

3:10
B. Ryce Hammers Luscious Locks: #freevlad

3:10
Kiermaier’s Xerostomia: Juice Newton?

3:11
Dan Szymborski: Nobody’s an Angels of the Morning if they put actual liquid in your fig newtons.

3:11
Dan Szymborski: What a frigging mess

3:11
Matt: Confondering? Ponderused?

3:11
HappyFunBall: If the BoSox are double stuffed Oreos, the Orioles are those gross Tea Biscuit things than no one under the age of 70 actually likes. And since you ate one once when you visited Grandma, now she mails you a box every year on your birthday, and make. it. stop!

3:11
Oyster Burns: is nathan eovaldi good now?

3:11
Dan Szymborski: On the verge at least

3:11
CamdenWarehouse: I’m going to start giving pickled pigs feet to all my friends you ask for pickles on their burgers

3:11
Oyster Burns: a pitcher has to throw just one of their pitches 100% of the time, which pitcher with which pitch would be most successful in a starters role?

3:12
Dan Szymborski: Tom Candiotti?

3:12
Paul Spider: Hi Paul

3:12
Ed McWilliams: Mad Max Scherzer or Jacob deGrominator?

3:12
Dan Szymborski: Dunno!

3:12
Ed McWilliams: are you on the “kill the error” bandwagon ?

3:12
Dan Szymborski: Yeah

3:12
Oyster Burns: just a bad month or is nimmo broken? seemed like he had just figured some stuff out!

3:13
Dan Szymborski: Everybody’s going to slump, plus the league adjusts. You can think he’s improved and still think some regression was likely

3:13
B. Ryce Hammers Luscious Locks: As a Yankees fan, I miss Manny, Pedro, and Youk. The Red Sox are far too friendly and likeable these days

3:13
Dan Szymborski: WHY DON’T YOU LIKE PEDRO

3:13
Matt: Has anyone figured out why Flock of Seagulls was singing about Iran and how far away it is?

3:13
Dan Szymborski: They behead you in Iran for those haircuts

3:13
LFC Mike: All kidding and ribbing aside about the Royals…the story on their prospect Carter Hope’s addiction and recovery on The Athletic website was amazing and inspirational. Kudos for the Royals bringing him back in the organization.

3:13
Dan Szymborski: It was a good story

3:13
Rusev Day!: I am strangely saddened by the imminent break up for Aiden English and Rusev/Lana. Do you think that WWE will do the right thing by moving English to Raw to team with Elias to create a WWE heel band?

3:13
Dan Szymborski: WWE do the right thing?

3:14
Alyosha: Are you excited for Roman vs. Brock part 35789?

3:14
Dan Szymborski: tally ho. <disappointed sarcastic finger twirl>

3:14
Morbo: Can we talk about Dave Martinez’s job security after last night?

3:14
Dan Szymborski: Not sure if Rizzo is out of free firings

3:14
Morbo: Because the optics of letting a pitcher remain in the game in a save situation after hitting two batters to load the bases are pretty bad…

3:14
Trixie: Should the Padres extend Freddy Galvis for another year, until Tatis is ready?  Would any other team seriously want him?

3:15
Dan Szymborski: No. Some teams can use a fill-in.

3:15
Dan Szymborski: Galvis woul dhave actually been moderately useful.

3:15
Dan Szymborski: To the Brewers

3:15
Travis: I know Juan Soto’s the big new thing, but the things Ronald Acuna is doing at 20 is pretty ridiculous, right?

3:15
Dan Szymborski: He’s amazing.

3:15
PD: Ohtani has the best OF arm.

3:15
Galileo: Feed me

3:15
NYTT: So Acuña is fun, right?

3:15
Brian CashGod: shaking my head at folks criticizing Bote for celebrating after hitting a grand slam in the bottom of the ninth, with his team down by 3 and with two outs and two strikes. I’d do cartwheels around the bases if that were me…and if I could do a cartwheel

3:15
Dan Szymborski: Even the NFL softened up on celebrations

3:17
Dan Szymborski: I think when there’s a walkoff homer, some time a team needs to celebrate with AN ENTIRE PLAY ON THE FIELD

3:17
Dan Szymborski: Bote gets around to the plate stops and starts speaking

3:17
Dan Szymborski: When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

3:17
Dan Szymborski: DO THE WHOLE PLAY

3:18
Dan Szymborski: Or like a whole musical.

3:18
Kiermaier’s Xerostomia: I said generic fig newtons..big difference…Then how about the Orioles are the Necco Wafers of baseball?

3:18
Dan Szymborski: What do they call generic fig newtons?

3:18
Dan Szymborski: I don’t think I’ve ever noticed.

3:18
Dan Szymborski: I’d name my generic fig newtons fig joules.

3:18
JD: With his strikeout problem becoming more pronounced is “faster Dan Uggla” a decent comp for Franklin Barreto going forward?

3:18
Dan Szymborski: It’s not the worst comp – Uggla was solid for awhile

3:19
Dbo: I’m sure this question has been asked but if teams were literally their name then who would win? My money is on the Dodgers,  since they would dodge any move against them. A great defense wins championships.

3:19
Dan Szymborski: Tigers?

3:19
Dan Szymborski: DODGE A TIGER, TROLLEY BOYS

3:19
Matt: Dan. Don’t make any sudden movements. Just act cool. I don’t want to alarm you, but there seems to be an imposter Matt in this chat. Just be cool. I’ll figure out what our next move is.

3:19
Matt: Why does your fun-having need to be so cis-gendered? I believe they’re xinanigans now.

3:19
Dan Szymborski: I shouldn’t laugh, but I did (I’m a believer in poking fun at everything – I hope when I die I go out making jokes about it)

3:19
Dbo: Anyone who wants to fry a steak should be banned from a kitcher for the safety of humanity

3:19
Dbo: I take that back, there is country fried steak which isn’t that bad

3:20
Dan Szymborski: Yeah, but they’re not chicken-frying fancy cuts of steak

3:20
Matt: Dan, the sink at my place of work has been clogged and backed up for a few days now, and I don’t think anyone knows who’s job it is to address the situation. I feel like maybe its your job.

3:20
Dan Szymborski: Have you tried a plunger or some drano?

3:20
Craig: I don’t know. The package says inside round steak fast fry. Why couldn’t my family just buy chicken?!?!

3:21
Dan Szymborski: Tell them you’re leaving to spend time with your more culinarily advanced family

3:21
Craig: I’ve bought four tickets to steakville minnesota. That’ll teach em

3:21
Matt: Just for your reference, if someone were to ask you how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, the only reasonable and moral answer is that said woodchuck would chuck as much wood and the woodchuck could chuck if the woodchuck wanted to chuck wood.

3:21
Dan Szymborski: There are limits to want, there’s also ability

3:22
Sam: What do you think of Touki Toussaint’s start today and what he can become in the Braves rotation?

3:22
Dan Szymborski: This is the first year Toussaint’s really been interesting production-wise, so I’m looking forward to his start

3:23
Ed McWilliams: Dansby Swanson a bust?

3:23
Dan Szymborski: He’s somehwere in the realm of averageish, which I’d never be able to call a bust

3:23
Dan Szymborski: I think an actual bust has to be gloriously awful

3:23
Dan Szymborski: like Dewon Brazelton

3:23
CamdenWarehouse: Galileo has his own PC?

3:23
Dan Szymborski: He thinks he does

3:25
Dan Szymborski: Sorry chrome crashed on me

3:26
Dan Szymborski:

3:26
Matt: What are your thoughts on lifetime bans as a way to stop this fun epidemic in baseball? Can we just ban all the fun havers so we’re left with Brian Dozier? Maybe Werth will unretire.

3:26
Dan Szymborski: Gotta stamp out fun

3:26
Sean Burrough’s Fan Club: How much credit should we give AJ Preller for putting together a top 3 farm system.  Spending $80+ Million on international talent and picking in the top 10 every year…seems hard to not get some good players

3:27
Dan Szymborski: He should get credit though – they’ve drafted pretty well.

3:27
Morbo: i’d name them fig not-tons

3:27
hscer: which team is most closely analogized as the Mint Oreo?

3:28
Dan Szymborski: The Blue Jays? They’re not really bad, but when you eat them, you wish you were eating one of those girl scout thin mints

3:28
LFC Mike: Touissant 6 IP 2H 1ER  2BB & 4K and he is out after 6. Nice drop in for him.

3:28
Dan Szymborski: Dammit, I thought that game was later

3:28
Abomb: Remember when Dan Uggla made like 100 errors in the All Star Game? Good times

3:28
Bryan in Boise: are the Brewers on to something with playing Shaw at 2B? between K’s being up and shifts becoming more a part of the game will infield positions become less important in the near future?

3:28
Dan Szymborski: I am a believer in trying things like this out

3:28
HappyFunBall: The only acceptable way to fry a steak, is if you’re applying a sear and are a heathen with a poor grasp of the language.

3:28
Marson Mistulli: i feel like no team is beating a team of angelic beings

3:29
Dan Szymborski: How much power do angels have when god isn’t giving orders?

3:29
Ed McWilliams: the best cheesesteak is Donkeys in Camden New Jersey. Philly Cheesesteaks are overrated

3:29
Dan Szymborski: I like dalessandro’s.

3:29
Look dude: Can YOU explain what’s happening with Matt Carpenter?  He can’t.  It’s the most insane turnaround in season that I can remember ever seeing.

3:29
Dan Szymborski: I CANNOT. He’s insane

3:29
Tyler: Athletics would have to be the favorites right?

3:29
Dan Szymborski: Over Astros? No.

3:29
Bryan in Boise: when people question the revolution of sabermetrics should I just point to Jon Lester’s last 6 weeks as proof that the baseball nerds know the game better than baseball people want to admit?

3:30
Dan Szymborski: If someone is questioning sabermetrics in 2018, you wouldn’t convince them if their deity came down and told them to do so.

3:30
Dbo: Could a lambchop also be referred to as a lamb steak? A Pork Chop as a pork steak?

3:30
Dan Szymborski: Seems weird

3:30
Bread Gardner: This is definitely the least topically baseball chat of all Dan Szymborski chats, which is saying something, because most Dan Szymborski chats are more about debating whether Riker was more of a man-whore than Kirk, or other such errata, than they are about baseball.

3:30
Devil Ray Jay Johnson: What should be the baseball equivalent of Crying Jordan?

3:30
Dan Szymborski: Crying Cora?

3:30
Dan Szymborski: or maybe just go opposite and do Smiling Bartolo?

3:31
Bryan in Boise: Fig Newton’s have feelings as well

3:31
Ed McWilliams: Does Scott Kingery have any sort of future? granted he is in his rookie season. But he is 24 with a very beautiful 57? Of course they will play since he is under contract for 6 years

3:31
Dan Szymborski: I’m still optimistic. Too easy to write someone off

3:31
Listen guy: Then, are the Cardinals like an Oreo that started out okay, then the aftertaste was awful.  Then, you suddenly crave another one?

3:31
Dan Szymborski: Birthday Cake Oreo?

3:31
Red Blazer: Does Bader have a chance at ROY? He may not be as sexy a pic as 19 yr old Soto but right behind him in fWAR.

3:31
Dan Szymborski: I don’t think he gets serious consideration

3:32
yerp: Please explain why Blake Snell is or is not in the running for the AL Cy Young.

3:32
Dan Szymborski: He’s going to have a serious IP deficiency

3:32
Dan Szymborski: Even Kershaw coudln’t completely override that

3:33
Dbo: Swordfish steak? I don’t know what to believe anymore, this chat has made me go through an existential crisis

3:33
Bread Gardner: Can we just agree that if teams *were* their team name, the Reds, Red Sox, and White Sox would all be trash tier, because they are literally socks?

3:33
Dan Szymborski: Reds could be communists.

3:33
hscer: dammit, now I wish I had Thin Mints

3:33
Jake: I live in an apartment where BBQ’s are banned. How am I supposed to cook steak if not frying it?

3:33
Dan Szymborski: You cant’ sear it in a cast iron pan?

3:34
Dan Szymborski: Frying literally means oil or fat is the cooking substance.

3:34
Dan Szymborski: Using a pan itself isn’t tfrying

3:34
Bread Gardner: DAN DAN DAN WHAT CANDY BAR SHOULD I GET

3:34
Dan Szymborski: Almond Joy

3:35
Bo: What does ZiPS think about the Nationals’ chances for postseason?

3:35
Dan Szymborski: Generally hovering aroudn 15

3:35
Heathcliff Slocumb: Another Braves update: Biddle just walked Riddle.  I have no question.

3:36
Rick Hahn: White Sox call up Eloy, Kopech, Stephens, Hamilton and Cordell?

3:36
Dan Szymborski: Eloy quicker

3:36
Devil Ray Jay Johnson: Why won’t you acknowledge that Dayton Moore invented the cookie?

3:36
Morbo: Riker was definitely the bigger man-whore. Also pork steaks are a separate and distinct entity from pork chops. Pork steaks are sliced pork butt(also referred to as pork shoulder by heathens).

3:36
Slew: Cleveland is funny to me. 3 of the top 7 in your Cy projections, the 2 most valuable position player assets in baseball, and they’re hovering at 10-15 games over .500. I don’t have a question.

3:36
Bread Gardner: The Reds *could* be communists, but they’d actually be socks, because their name is shortened from Red Stockings.  We must respect history!

3:36
Dan Szymborski: But Cardinals use the  bird when they were literally named as a color

3:36
Matt: Grilling =/= Barbequing

3:37
Dbo: isnt searing it in a pan technically a pan FRIED steak?

3:37
Dan Szymborski: No.,

3:37
Dan Szymborski: Sear the steak, finish in oven

3:37
Devil Ray Jay Johnson: Use the broiler Jake

3:37
Bread Gardner: Hold on pause the chat I have to pee

3:37
Felix Millan: Riker did have a steady relationship with Troi. Kirk had a kid. Hmmm…

3:37
Bread Gardner: Your candy bar choice of “Almond Joy” is not on sale at Duane Reade, so I have instead procured the cheaper, on-sale-ier, and generally superior “Milky Way”.

3:38
Dan Szymborski: You’re buying candy bars based on what’s on sale? They’re like 75 cents.

3:38
hscer: 15 what? tenths of a percent? – Nats fan whose pessimism increased a thousand fold last night

3:38
Dan Szymborski: Percent

3:38
Jake: I’ve always just used frying and searing interchangeably – I think it’s a Canadian thing. I thought you snobs were hating on pan-searing stake.

3:38
Dan Szymborski: CANADIANS EAT WOOD

3:38
Kiermaier’s Xerostomia: Target sells Fig Fruit Chewy Cookies  as its generic Fig Newton.

3:38
Dan Szymborski: That seems excessively descriptive.

3:39
Dan Szymborski: I’ve never seen a generic Dr. Pepper soda called Carbonated Beverage Tastes Like Grandma’s Unmarked Couhg Medicine

3:39
CamdenWarehouse: Cats – cats are the measure of playoff chances

3:39
Listen guy: Milky Way is just a snickers that quit giving a fuck

3:39
hscer: what’s the proper way to cook chicken in a pan? Because if I don’t cut it to check it ends up raw, and then it becomes too tough

3:40
Dan Szymborski: Wait, you’re sticking a whole chicken in a pan?

3:40
Dan Szymborski: I don’t undestand you people;

3:40
Bread Gardner: Candy bars are like $1.30 or higher here and I’m Jewish.

3:40
Morbo: yerp, Dan seems to be at a loss for words. That or his chrome crashed again

3:40
hscer: “chewy fig cookies” would suffice

3:40
Bo: Kroger’s generic brand of Life cereal is literally called “Living Well”. Nobody strained a muscle coming up with that one.

3:40
Matt: Dan, I think Jake is a fraud. He claims he’s Canadian, but I know for a fact that Candains aren’t real and they don’t exist. They’re pure myth, Dan.

3:40
Listen guy: You ever seen someone turn purple after eating a fig newton?  Come over to my house and bring some fig newtons for my son.

3:40
hscer: no, the chicken breast dammit

3:40
Dan Szymborski: Just don’t keep the temperature limited?

3:40
Dan Szymborski: Or it’ll get dry

3:40
Kiermaier’s Xerostomia: One other thing..they are now just called Newtons…they got the “Fig” out of the place.

3:40
hscer: I didn’t say “a chicken” I said “chicken” !

3:41
Dan Szymborski: We’ll end on that note.

3:41
Ed McWilliams: I rememeber listening to a podcast on here about the morality of Cloning Manny Machado. Does Cloned Manny have union rights little lone human rights?

3:41
Dan Szymborski: I think cloned Manny is a citizen and would have the same rights on 40-man roster

3:41
Dan Szymborski: Thanks for comign everyone!

3:41
Dan Szymborski: As a reminder, you can find me work HERE at FanGraphs

3:41
Dan Szymborski: Just occasionally ESPN.

3:42
Dan Szymborski: Because I’m not a part of Appelman Globalchem Industries now.

3:42
Bread Gardner: You should make ZiPS projections for number of alien babes Kirk and Riker will sleep with.

3:42
James: this looks like an AOL chat room right now

3:42
Matt: Chicken: Pan fry on medium heat for 1-2 minutes, flip over and cover. Turn heat down, and let cook on low for 10-13 minutes. Remove from heat, and leave covered for another 10-13 minutes. You’ll thank me later, when you’re eating the juiciest damn piece of chicken you’ve ever eaten.

3:42
Dbo: That outro is improvement but still needs some work

3:42
Dan Szymborski: This was weirder chat than most.

We hoped you liked reading Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 8/13/18 by Dan Szymborski!

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Dan Szymborski is a senior writer for FanGraphs and the developer of the ZiPS projection system. He was a writer for ESPN.com from 2010-2018, a regular guest on a number of radio shows and podcasts, and a voting BBWAA member. He also maintains a terrible Twitter account at @DSzymborski.

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