Dan Szymborski Fangraphs Chat – 9/17/18

Dan Szymborski: It is time.

stever20: do you think MLB should do something for pitchers like they do for batters who don’t get to the PA threshold?   Say Sale gets 159 innings, for ERA counting purposes give him 3 more innings, but like 3 runs as well?

Dan Szymborski: I think what makes it awkward is that it’s zero for batters, but the inverse for pitchers is infinity!

Dan Szymborski: So the solution isn’t as elegant.

Pio: Margot is now two years into his big league career and still hasn’t shown much. Does he deserve the starting CF spot next year or should the Padres open it up to competition?

Dan Szymborski: I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration of his struggles

Dan Szymborski: He was a solidly league-average player in 2017.

Dan Szymborski: And how you feel about his 2018 is based on whether UZR or DRS is closer

Dan Szymborski: And his OPS since May 15th is better than his rookie year at .726)

Dan Szymborski: So has not shown much is essentially six weeks.

Dan Szymborski: He’s their best upside candidate out there rightnow, the job should be his.

Gila Mpnster: What is the deal with Marcus Semien’s defense? He’s gone from bad defender to elite shortstop? I known it is one year of defensive statistics, but this is a radical swing in value

Dan Szymborski: It’s happened long-term.

Dan Szymborski: Marco Scutaro was thought of as a sorta prospect for his bat, not his glove, but the opposite kinda happened in his good years.

Pio: Are you buying Hosmer’s newfound interest in launch angle?

Dan Szymborski: I’m hopeful

Devil Ray Jay Johnson: Would you name a cat “Markakis”?

Dan Szymborski: I tend to prefer history and literature for names

Ronnie: Let’s say we get NYY/OAK & LAD/MKE for the wild cards. Would it be more or less fun if NYY & LAD were only able to roster players up to the payroll of their opponent? So like 80 million for the Yanks & 110 million for the Dodgers.

Dan Szymborski: Amusing, but kind of weird.

Dan Szymborski: The Yankees do end up with most of their contributors.

Dan Szymborski: They don’t have to use Tanaka in that wild card game under these rules and could skip Chapman

O’s Nos: If you had to take one Baltimore position player for next year, who would you take?

Dan Szymborski: Oh god

Dan Szymborski: Yusniel Diaz?

Dbo: The Cubs only have a 2.5 game lead with 13 games left, should I hit the panic button and tell everyone I’ve always been a die hard Red Sox fan?

Dan Szymborski: No, because disappointment is also part of the background construction of a Cubs fan

Kevin Kiermiaer’s Ankyloglossia: What kind of  freshly delivered warm pancakes would you be eating at 2 A.M. as you pondered the future status of Pluto, Dan? Buckwheat, Blueberry, Strawberry, Apple w/ cinnamon? Heavy butter? What syrup? Mrs. Butterworth, Log Cabin, Hungry Jack, Karo, the clear and sweet liquid, or a fine organic Vermont syrup from a craft syrup compnay? What you put on your pancakes says a lot about you as a human being. Think about your answer.                             P.S.  Chocolate Chip pancakes are an insult to humanity.

Dan Szymborski: I prefer plain pancakes, as thin as possible, with just the tiniest little bit of maple syrup.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t like things too sweet.

O’s Nos: Would Chuck Finley be the O’s third starter next year?

Dan Szymborski: #2

Dbo: Here are my meal rankings: 1) Lunch 2) Late night food after drinking 3) Dinner 4) Breakfast

Tayler: Who are your top 10 prospects heading into next year after Vlad Jr and Eloy?

Dan Szymborski: Ask me in Feburary!

brad lipton: Ryan Yarbrough pitches often in the second inning…goes a few frames…the team wins…he gets a win.  He has done this a lot.  Clearly this has enhanced his win total artificially.   If I were the Red Sox, I’d do this with Chris Sale for his next three games to bolster his win total.   Then, maybe, we can have a real discussion on how to quantify pitcher wins (and if it should even be a category at all).

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure it woudl really do all that much except being a little too cute at a time they should just be holding the boat steady

jake: Does Reynaldo Lopez recent string of hot starts provide legit optimism he can be a decent middle of the rotation guy? 28% K rate and 2.32 FIP over his last 33 innings with increased use of a better looking changeup.

Dan Szymborski: I’m increasingly optimistic about Rlo.

Dbo: Do you prefer your hot dogs steamed, grilled, or fried? I hope its not microwaved (shudders)

Dan Szymborski: Grilled

LFC Mike: You can’t go wrong with a stack of warm blueberry pancakes with real butter and a heavy dose of pure maple syrup. #Heaven. #Chocolatechippancakessuck

Dan Szymborski: Sounds too heavy!

The Yankee Way: I like that ss Rosario on the Mets, but that beard of his is the most ghastly thing I have ever seen. Any chance he shaves it off before next season?

Dan Szymborski: It kinda strikes me as something that was velcroed on, like a fifth grader playing Abraham Lincoln in a school play

Ronnie: Is Cleveland the biggest disappointment this year? Garbage division, some of the biggest stars in the league & they can barely win more games than the Mariners & Rays.

Dan Szymborski: The bullpen was garbage, but it’s hard to call a team winning a division the biggest disappointment.

Dan Szymborski: Especially when you can head on over to Washington.

Pluto’s Utter Disgust: Nobody said a $%#&*^%$#@(word to me about being declassified as a planet. Did they ask Pluto from Walt Disney either?

Johnny Baseball: If the Giants go under .500 next year, will management finally clean house and embrace the rebuild?

Dan Szymborski: If it happens another year, I think they finally do.

tb.25: Did Fangraphs give you a lifetime contract?

Dan Szymborski: In the sense that my stint could end with the murder of me by Carson, yes?

The Yankee Way: Is Greg Bird going to be one of those players who succeeds as soon as he gets the heck out of NYC?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure. He’s not a well-rounded hitter and he’s missed a lot of development time.

Jake: Who gets the second NL WC?

Dan Szymborski: The team with the second-best record out of all of the teams that do not win their division, after necessary tiebreakers/play-ins.

jake: Do you think the White Sox should be more encouraged that Carlos Rodon has been healthy and able to shoulder a heavy workload with a low ERA, or more concerned that his strikeout/walk numbers look really mediocre and his peripherals scream heavy regression? Realistically is his ceiling a decent number 3 starter?

Dan Szymborski: At this point, they should just be happy he’s healthy and pitching. I’d worry more about results next season.

Ronnie: Chase Anderson has been a FIP beater his whole career & even more extremely so since he got to the Brewers. What’s the deal with that?

Dan Szymborski: A lot seems to be due to his huge on-base/bases empty splits. It’s like 100 points of OPS IIRC

Erik Neander and Chaim Bloom : Raise your hand if you had the Rays winning percentage over .500 for the season.

Dan Szymborski: Not me as a mean, but I did have them 1-in-3 to do so.

Silly Season: A Szymborski is never late, nor is he early.  He arrives exactly when he means to.

Dan Szymborski: It’s hard to login unintentionally.

Ronnie: Do you prefer answering chat questions you know the answer to already, ones which intrigue you & require a little research or more meta questions about the chat itself?

Dan Szymborski: I like deeper questions outside of chats when I can actually think of things and research.

Dan Szymborski: I can’t really go away for 45 minutes and then come back with an answer.

Dan Szymborski: I like to keep chats lively, light, and moving.

Dan Szymborski: Now *weird* questions always intrigue m e.

Dan Szymborski: And I stay away from fantasy questions that are reader team-specific, since those are only applicable to the person asking the question.

Dan Szymborski: “Name 7 of this list of 11 to keep” is only really interesting to the person asking.

Dan Szymborski: And we have fantasy specific chats!

Kyler: I know you can’t give away all the fun ZiPS info, but Acuna and Soto have to have two of the most promising future projections, right?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

takez: If the Rockies win the division, does that mean you have to shut fangraphs down? proving the nerds wrong that instead of a launch angle shmuck at first all you need is grit and determination

Dan Szymborski: It’s not like we projected them to win 75 games!

Dan Szymborski: The pitching is very good.

Dan Szymborski: They have two MVP candidates again.

Dan Szymborski: They should be a better team than they are, but they made zero effort at some of those lineup holes.

Dan Szymborski: Ian Desmond and Gerardo Parra are bad players, full stop. Even CarGo’s “bounceback” is decidedly mediocrte.

Fonzie says “Aaaa-Go Giants”: How Edwin Jackson?  How?

Dan Szymborski: If I could find Edwin Jackson’s I’d be living on a magic sugar plantation.

Dan Szymborski: (I don’t mean cocaine, I mean sugar that’s like magical or something)

Adam: Im not a big fan of relief pitcher ERA, it seems that with their low innings totals on the year, it’s not that accurate. what kind of stats should fans use to really see how good a relief pitcher is? like stranded inherited runners, K%?

Dan Szymborski: If you’re looking at normalish numbers, OOPS works.

Cartoons Plural : If the Rays win 90 games, does that count as a victory for #TheOpener idea?

Dan Szymborski: It’s at least the right move for a team like the Rays.

Fonzie says “Aaaa-Go Giants”: Japanese-style cheering sections would be awesome, right?  Well maybe not in late season meaningless Royals-White Sox games, but otherwise awesome, right?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Dan Szymborski: Add in KBO bat flips.

Dan Szymborski: Park Suk-Min’s was an 80.

Dan Szymborski: https://twitter.com/twitter/statuses/1038785092443951107

EL: Odds Bryce Harper signs in SF?

Dan Szymborski: Fairly low.

Bork: Which player could you see retiring mid game? Also you should retire mid chat

Dan Szymborski: I could see Johnny Cueto doing it someday.

Dan Szymborski: It would also be fun to live chat my death someday.

Dan Szymborski: As for retirement, baseball players can retire at 40, baseball writers probably shouldn’t!

Sharp: I know Dansby Swanson settling in as a glove-first, league average-ish SS is a little disappointing and not what people dreamed of but that’s not a bad outcome, right?

Dan Szymborski: Note I don’t mean some creepy suicide stream, but me being like 92 and on my deathbed

Dan Szymborski: and slowly answering questions

Dan Szymborski: and then I die in the middle of one and hope one of my family members by my side hits enter. and end chat.

Dan Szymborski: and THATS IT

Jedidiah: Dexter Fowler: DOA for 2019 or is there still a pulse there?

Dan Szymborski: I wouldn’t calll him done yet

vivalajeter: What did your minor league Zips formula think about Peter Alonso’s defense?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t do the defensive stats midseason as it requires a lot of play-by-play mining!

HappyFunBall: Markcatkis?  Markkakat?  Catkakis?   There’s potential here …

DJ Tanner: Who makes the playoffs first, the Rays or the Padres?

Dan Szymborski: Rays

Tom: Who are you most intrigued with their 2H performance to set them up for a breakout and/or bounceback 2019

Dan Szymborski: I’m curious if Zobrist is too old, he’s been insane in 2h

Dan Szymborski: Harper’s back I think

Dan Szymborski: Yelich is good of course, but he’s been batshit insane second half

Mister Puppy : This chat is lacking in klaxons

Cartoons Plural : What happened to Corey Dickerson this year? I thought that he had turned into a good player. Baseball’s version of Cinderella at midnight?

Dan Szymborski: He’s having more or less the same year he usually does!

Dan Szymborski: He’s a 114 wRC+ career guy having a 109 wRC+ year. That’s not crazy alarming

Dan Szymborski: It’s like Cinderella having to rush out at midnight because some drunk courtier is urinating on her pumpkin carriage or something.

Dan Szymborski: It’s not THAT bad. Urine’s sterile.

Pancake Hell: I hate everything about waffles. They look disfigured.

Lance Biggerstaff : This man just abbreviated Milwaukee as “MKE”

Dan Szymborski: groce

Dan Szymborski: Wait

Dan Szymborski: Did I just right that?

Dan Szymborski: DAMMIT

Dan Szymborski: I must not have gotten enough sleep.

Dan Szymborski: Gross.

Dan Szymborski: write

Dan Szymborski: MIL

vivalajeter: In your David Wright article, you started your Zips forecast a year early.  He was outstanding in 2013, and didn’t have shoulder/back problems until the following year.  What is his alternate career WAR if you push things out a year?

Dan Szymborski: I’ll check, I don’t think it makes a difference – he did lose significant time that season with a hamstring issue

why i’m against robot umpires: 1) Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people’s medicine for fuel. 2) Robots may strike at any time.  3) And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can’t break free… because they’re made of metal, and robots are strong.

Dan Szymborski: Like I wouldn’t not know where to find that in 5 seconds.

Dan Szymborski: https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/old-glory-insurance/n107…

Dusty: Thoughts on Twins superstar SS prospect, Wander Javier? Whats his upside?

Dan Szymborski: I think it’s a little premature for me, that’s more of a McDongenhagen question.

Cartoons Plural : CJ Cron doesn’t always suck, can we agree on this?

Dan Szymborski: Yes, he’s useful when he can smash 30

Hello: Is Jeff McNeil the real deal?

Dan Szymborski: I think he’s very likely at least an average player.

Bork: Would a robot ump try to power trip during a walk off celebration?

Dan Szymborski: If programmed to.

Chuncey Wiggins: A routine flyball is called can of corn. What would your routine flyball be called?

Dan Szymborski: can of wadded beef

Dan Szymborski: Now, you should already know the reference, but just in case.

Dan Szymborski:

Dbo: Chocolate Chip Pancakes are just bad bakers excuse for why their chocolate chip cookies dont look right

Devil Ray Jay Johnson: How good would a TV show called “The Life and Times of Mike Trout” be?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t know, he may be too awesomely vanilla for a show?

Bo: Seems Teheran and Newcomb are competing for who least wants a spot in the playoff rotation. What do you do if you’re the Braves?

Dan Szymborski: Personally, I’m still more comfortable with Nuke La-Loose than The Juliotollah.

Dylan: How much should Kimbrel’s decline in velocity and slightly worse peripherals affect his free agency?

Dan Szymborski: Some, but it won’t destroy his value.

Captain Obvious: My gosh, I did NOT see that coming!!!!  lololol

Dan Szymborski: My chat? IT POSTED ON TIME!

Chuncey Wiggins: Do you have a broadcast team that you prefer?

Dan Szymborski: Jon Miller-anyone

Dan Szymborski: And Orsillo-Grant are fun

Dan Szymborski: I’ll always be most inclined to Miller-Angel because of the ’89 Orioles

Dan Szymborski: On the flip side, I’d rather listen to the audio track of a septugenerian swinger-themed porn than Hawk Harrelson.

Captain Obvious: Please assist me — I am working on a deadline and I need an answer.  Will the sun rise tomorrow?

Dan Szymborski: NO THE EARTH WILL ROTATE

Jkim: The Dodgers-Rockies 3 game series should basically be the decider right?

Dan Szymborski: Could very well be.

hscer: who was best at their respective sports: Aaron Brooks, Aaron Brooks, or Aaron Brooks?

Dan Szymborski: The second one, the third one, then the first one

James: Does ZiPS have Bregman’s season as a blip or his new normal? Tough to beat his approach at the plate.

Dan Szymborski: I think he’s a legitimate star

Derek in Little Rock: Let me preemptively congratulate you on the Atlanta Braves and for dominating the NL East this season, Dan.

Dan Szymborski: I shouldn’t get *that* much congratulations.

Dan Szymborski: My preseason projections were 79 and then 80 on opening day

Dan Szymborski: Though I *did* write a piece about the Braves and Phillies being dangerous last winter

Dan Szymborski: (The phillies part not looking quite as good lately)

HappyFunBall: Speaking of fun ZIPS info … Now that you’re a proper employee, are we getting multi-year projections added to player pages this off-season?

Dan Szymborski: Still deciding what we do!

Devil Ray Jay Johnson: Didn’t Ken Griffey Jr retire mid-game?

Dan Szymborski: He dozed off and retired *before* a game.

Dan Szymborski: And Kruk was pre-arranged.

Dan Szymborski: Vontae Davis is like if a pitcher allows a run

Dan Szymborski: and then walks back to the clubhouse

Dan Szymborski: and when they come back from the commercial, t hey announce that “The Reds are replacing Homer Bailey for the fourth inning because he retired during that Home Depot commercial.”

Dbo: I think baseball extra innings  should be changed so that after 15 the players are given foam bats and sword fight. If you are hit in any appendage then you must pretend like you have lost it in the fight like you did when you were 10

Dan Szymborski: We once had a melee with inflatable swords and shields in a Wal-Mart parking lot in a blizzard in like 1998 or so.

Dan Szymborski: My friend Alan and I were wailing on each other with foam swords while kayaking last year. The very patient woman who was with us had one too, but did not want to participate.

Dan Szymborski: (this wasn’t the time I half-drowned myself, that was th is year)

James: Could Philly really sign both Harper and Machado?

Dan Szymborski: They have the money to do it

Ben: Braves just don’t seem to have the SP for a deep playoff run. Outside of Folty, Braves starters aren’t very reliable. And my lord that bullpen can’t throw strikes to save their lives. Do you predict an early first round exit for Braves?

Dan Szymborski: There are concerns about the pitching, but anything can happen in the palyoffs.

Dan Szymborski: Things aren’t quite that predictable.

Matt: Are you at all troubled by the fact that your name rhymes with “man” and supports the patriarchy?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not a good member of any patriarchy since I want to move if I see a scary spider.

Davey Jones’ Lockerroom: Dan, I know you have your job and Jerry Dipoto has his, but if you were to imagine a way to bolster the Mariners in the offseason such that they contend for a wildcard what would it be?  If it helps, would you trade a strong piece like Paxton, would you explore free agency, or stand pat and just tack on middle relievers?

Dan Szymborski: I’d seriously go all-in and try to land one of the BIG free agents.

Buck Schowalter: The Astros are a better team than the Red Sox: True or False?

Dan Szymborski: I think it’s close enough to be unknowable.

Vslyke: Julio Teheran is done as a Brave after this year, right?

Dan Szymborski: I suspect he’s in another uniform.

Matt: What you prefer seems to be crepes, Dan.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, I like them crepelike

Cartoons Plural : Is Tony Clark doing anything right as the head of the MLBPA?

Dan Szymborski: Well, they haven’t outright given away free agency or anything like that.  Which is something

Ozzie Ozzie Albies Free: Do you know if FG is going the playoff game chats? Those are always super fun even though I’m sure moderating it for 3 hours isn’t.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t believe we’ve talked specifically about those yet, but I owuld be surprised if we didn’t

Al: Amed Rosario: Top prospect finally figured it out or just a hot streak?

Dan Szymborski: I’ve always liked Rosario and think he’s legitimabely improving

Dan Szymborski: legitimabely?

hscer: the Padres already made the playoffs first, although it helps they existed well before the Rays did

Dan Szymborski: Legitimabely?

Dan Szymborski: I’m like 23% more illiterate than usual.

The Yankee Way: Alonso’s 1B defense can’t possibly be worse than Bruce.

Dan Szymborski: DO NOT SMEAR BRUCE VALUED LEADER AND CORE TALENT OF THE METS

The Ghost of Dan’s Grandma: I’m still waiting for that kiss, young man!

Dan Szymborski: I’m not kissing something I don’t believe in.

Mountie Votto: Fix the Reds, Dan. Please, I beg of you. Fix the Reds.

Dan Szymborski: I have zero desire to work full-time for a team (or I would be). But if a team did convince me, the Reds would have a better shot at that since I don’t need to overhaul my life to do so.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t want to say never. As Dave Cameron noted, never isn’t 100%.

John: What should the Padres do this offseason – mostly hold steady and chase 1 year vet deals?

Dan Szymborski: Just don’t sign a Hosmer or trade for a Galvis.

Dan Szymborski: I’m not unreasonable.

Dan Szymborski: Just don’t do stupid, pointless things. I don’t think that’s crazy stuff.

Dan Szymborski: I’m not saying OK, TRADE AUSTIN HEDGES FOR MOOKIE BETTS AND THEN WIL MYERS FOR CHRIS SALE AND THEN BUYOUT HOSMER FOR $1 MILLION SO HE CAN TRY FREE AGENCY AND THEN SIGN BRYCE HARPER AND MANNY MACHADO AND OFFER THE ANGELS ANY THREE PROSPECTS FOR THAT FISH GUY

Dan Szymborski: Just don’t be stupid and pointless.

Dave: How terrifying is it that the Cubs’ season may come down to the arms of Jesse Chavez and Jorge De La Rosa?

Dan Szymborski: Quite.

hscer: I like the appearance of a Dansby Swanson question leading you to further contemplate your own death

Dan Szymborski: I th ink it’s thinking about the O’s

Captain Obvious: Do you have to fill out status reports where you work?  MAN those things are the WORST!  Gosh ?

Bryce Harper: During my next contract, would you say I’m more likely to be a 6~8 WAR/year or a 3~5 WAR/year type of player?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure, which is the problem with your next contract.

Davey Jones’ Lockerroom: Thoughts on relocating Tampa to Portland?  Chalk up one vote from Portland…

Dan Szymborski: Portland’s more useful as a stalking horse I think.

LFC Mike: After Blake Snell player you are most optimistic about on the Rays?

Dan Szymborski: I’m still in love with Brent Honeywell even with the injury!

Dbo: Waffles > Pancakes. I also used to like eating frozen eggos when I was younger, I had issues

Matt: If it’s true that Hitler was a vegetarian, then does it follow that vegetarians are Hitler?

Dan Szymborski: Of course.

Captain Obvious: So says the guy named “Pancake Hell”

Mountie Votto: Elegy for the Reds coming soon?

Dan Szymborski: Yup. I have to figure out if the Padres or Reds were eliminated first

PD: Didn’t Griffey retire mid game? Or was that just taking a nap?

Dan Szymborski: That was dozing off

Mountie Votto: Most valuable Cincinnati SPs next season, in order: 1) Castillo, 2) New guy from trade/FA, 3) DeSclafani, 4) Tyler Mahle, 5) ???

Dan Szymborski: Not unreasonable

Davey Jones’ Lockerroom: What do you do with Cano and Gordon next year?  Do you use Gordon as an everyday CF again, or do you ask him to play a utility role?

Dan Szymborski: Frankly, I want Cano back at 2B and I’d try multiple positions for Gordon.

Dan Szymborski: It would be cool if he could be a super utility guy like Phillips

Dan Szymborski: TONY

Dan Szymborski: Crap now I remember Tony Phillips died a few years ago 🙁

The Old Buccaneer: How much does Polanco’s shoulder injury affect his value for next season? 7-9 month window is tough.

Dan Szymborski: It does, it means he’ll be limited early

LFC Mike: MKE is the abbreviation for Mitchell Airport in MIlwaukee. ….you weren’t tht far off Daniel…

Cartoons Plural : Favorite Dragon Ball Z character?

Dan Szymborski: I never really got into that.

Dan Szymborski: Seemed like too much yelling and weirdly paused action shots with moving backgrounds

Captain Obvious: “Newcomb in Tehran” blazing up the Hot 100.3 charts

Dan Szymborski: The top 40 hit by The Dead Ian Kennedys

The Yankee Way: What’s with that weird pose Kimbrel always takes as he’s waiting for the sign? Is he just nearsighted, or does he think it intimidates batters?

Dan Szymborski: He’s trying to make baserunners worried about fats.

Dan Szymborski: farts

Matt: Ken Singleton is the Dr Hibbert of broadcasters.

Cartoons Plural : Current generation’s player most like Chone Figgins?

Dan Szymborski: COULD be the aforementioend Dee Gordon!

O’s Nos: Did ESPN ever consider having you make a guest appearance on a game broadcast to help explain those new-fangled stats?

Dan Szymborski: I don’t know if they considered it. I imagine that if they did, they’d have considered it too much of a risk.

Dan Szymborski: I’m a little loose and silly and undisciplined.

Dan Szymborski: It may turn out fun, but it might turn out a disaster.

Jose Bautista: If I tried to do Park Suk-Min’s bat flip I would get lynched

Davey Jones’ Lockerroom: Does Oakland let Jed Lowrie walk?

Dan Szymborski: He’s already walked 70 times, so I don’t think they’re that upset

Davey Jones’ Lockerroom: Matt Chapman for Kyle Seager and James Paxton.  Never, right?

Dan Szymborski: I sure as sugar wouldn’t do that if I’m hte A’s

Dick Eaton: Have you had Swedish pancakes? They are super thin. Usually with fruit or a little bit of jam (but a small amount of maple syrup would be great too if I could get that here).

Dan Szymborski: Only the IHOP ones

Dan Szymborski: I don’t know if those count

Dan Szymborski: since i haven’t been in sweden

Cartoons Plural : Didn’t Tony Saunders basically retire from baseball mid-game?

Dan Szymborski: Wasn’t it his arm shattering mid-game?

Dan Szymborski: and it broke again in rehab?

Dan Szymborski: Like J.R. Richard idn’t actually *retire* midgame.

Jkim: The ST. Louis Cardinals outscored the Arizona Cardinals. That is all.

hscer: what state are you employed in?

Dan Szymborski: Ohio

Captain Obvious: Would you rather ride a Llama or a Mountain Lion to work?

Dan Szymborski: Llama. A llama won’t eat me.

O’s Nos: You know, if either Alan or you fell in, she was not going to help you.

Dan Szymborski: Actually, when I half-drowned myself *this* year, she didn’t notice I was having issues and went to fetch my beer that was floating downstream

Captain Obvious: Kayaking with “foam swords”??  Don’t you mean Oars??

Dan Szymborski: No, actual foam swords we had in our kayaks with us

O’s Nos: Tony Clark finally hired a real labor negotiator, so that’s something.

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Cartoons Plural : Chris Sale and David Price have really bad playoff numbers,  should this worry Sox fans?

Dan Szymborski: No

Matt: Which Tony would be a better head of the MLBPA: Clark, or the Tiger?

Dan Szymborski: Tiger. Hawk. Danza. Fat D’Amico who doesn’t exist.

hscer: why is Putin spelled Poutine in French when there’s already the fries-and-gravy thing too?

LFC Mike: Finish this Dan…This week would be great if I could have ______________ for dinner?

Dan Szymborski: a steak that comes with a complimentary check for one billion dollars.

Matt: What do you not believe in – ghosts, or grandmas?

Dan Szymborski: Ghosts

O’s Nos: If the Padres traded Hosmer now, how much of the contract would they have to eat?

Dan Szymborski: Most of it. Nobody wanted to give him that contract.

Dan Szymborski: Well, except for the Padres.

Dan Szymborski: And probably the Royals, though I don’t think their real offer was near the rumored one

CamdenWarehouse: By fixing the Reds, do you mean making it so they can’t produce little Reds anymore?

Dan Szymborski: At the very least,  Homer Bailey needs to go behind the barn.

Rockie Dangerfield: Rumor has it that if a relief pitcher retires mid-game they just take him back into the bullpen and put him down Old Yeller-style

Ar0d: No only did I put beans in my chili, I put three different kinds.

Dan Szymborski: Well, once it’s not chili, you might as well go full-court-press into your meaty bean salad.

O’s Nos: Maybe Mike Trout could do a TV show where every week he teaches you how to make a different type of pancake — “Hey kids, this week I’m making blueberry pancakes!”

APODionysus: Random comment: I had a dream last night where I traveled – Sliders style – to a parallel reality where Firefly was never cancelled. I immediately bought all the DVDs, brought them back… and found that they were the inter dimensional equivilant of region locked. Couldn’t watch em. It was awful

Dan Szymborski: My dream last night was that I was playing a baseball game with some minor league team against Gandhi and a bunch of guys that looked like Gandhi and we were taunting them that they were going to lose, but then Gandhi said they had a secret weapon: They were all BEST FRIENDS.

Dan Szymborski: And my team got really quiet and worried. Never found out what happened.

Captain Obvious: Loose, silly, and undisciplined … But are you potty trained? We need to know.

Dan Szymborski: I have a 100% record at reaching the toilet since about the age of 4

hscer: Dravecky was the name who broke his arm, at least the story I know

Dan Szymborski: Saunders definitely broke his arm too

yerp: Would you ask Sheryl to do a piece on what it would mean for team ownership (think Mets, Rays, etc.) to spend more on payroll. It’s one thing if ownership is taking home a ton of team profit as salary and needs to reduce that so the team can invest more internally. But owners and teams are separate financially institutes, so I’m pretty sure the former can’t tell the latter, “Sure, here’s my personal credit card—go get whatever will make you happy!” Separation of finances has to exist for a reason, right?

Dan Szymborski: You could direclty ask Sheryl!

Cartoons Plural : No, his arm broke again in his 1st MLB start back from recovery, iirc

Dbo: Poutine is French Canadian, its not french

hscer: If the Padres traded Hosmer now, how much of the contract would they have to literally eat, a la Always Sunny?

Dan Szymborski: If Brian Unger made copies, so did Scott Boras

APODionysus: Facebook only broadcasts: just… awful, right? Like I pay good money for Mlb.tv and have to deal with enough blackouts as is. Now because I don’t like social media much I may miss my team clinching the division?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not a fan of them.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t hang out on facebook

Dan Szymborski: and I always forget the game is happening.

Dan Szymborski: OK, we’re past 1 PM. Go home.

Dan Szymborski: And if you’re at work or school, you can tell them you have my permission to leave.