One Night Only: All-Star Game, Duh

Actually, we’re not all special: that’s tonight’s important message.

Nationals at Americans | Tuesday, July 13 | 8:05pm ET
Starting Pitchers
Nationals: Ubaldo Jimenez (NERD: 8)
127.0 IP, 8.01 K/9, 3.26 BB/9, .248 BABIP, 51.9% GB, 5.4% HR/FB, 3.71 xFIP

Americans: David Price (NERD: 8)
115.1 IP, 7.80 K/9, 3.36 BB/9, .276 BABIP, 47.2% GB, 7.8% HR/FB, 3.95 xFIP

A Logic Problem
The All-Star Game, as the urban youth of our country would likely say, “is what it is.” “Is what it is,” as the academics in our country would likely say, represents an instance of tautology. Therefore, it can be said that the All-Star Game is itself tautological.

Discuss.

(Seriously. Do it. Now.)

Service, With or Without a Smile
I think I’m stating the obvious when I say that we at FanGraphs view ourselves — more than baseball fans or ruthless capitalists — we view ourselves as public servants. (Indeed, no other reasonable explanation exists for Jack Moore’s decision to tweet factoids about Joe Morgan’s career, with no prompting whatsoever, at approximately 3am local time.)

To further continue this commitment to our readership, I’ve included the complete rosters for each team at the end of this post — all with links to each respective All-Star’s FanGraphs player card.

An Obligatory Comment in re Colby Lewis
Paddy McMahon of Around the Majors and Knuckle Curve Semi-Drop tweeted the following almost-true truth:

PadmanJones colby lewis is tied with the AL’s ASG starter (price) in WAR. lewis is not on the team. @cistulli mad.

I say “almost true” for this reason: I’m not mad. Rather, it’s probably something more like melancholy that I’m feeling. Colby Lewis, as is widely known, has been responsible for a very many, very intense spiritual experiences. Yet, millions will be robbed tonight of Lewis’s extraordinary mound presence and his darting slutter.

“Fie, for shame,” is the only reasonable response to that.

If I Had My Druthers
• In the midst of a high-leverage situation, American League coach Joe Girardi would come to the mound and signal for a right-handed reliever.
• Simultaneously, Colby Lewis would enter Angel Stadium, from the sky, via parachute, and land on the mound part of the field.
• Also, Lewis would breathe fire. (Note: I recognize that fire-breathing isn’t entirely related to the rest of the fantasy, but if I had my druthers, that’s what would happen.)

Those Rosters I Was Talking About
Here are the rosters for both teams (courtesy of MLB.com):

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Starters

Pos	Player
RF	Ichiro Suzuki, SEA
SS	Derek Jeter, NYY
1B	Miguel Cabrera, DET$
CF	Josh Hamilton, TEX
DH	Vladimir Guerrero, TEX
3B	Evan Longoria, TB
C	Joe Mauer, MIN
2B	Robinson Cano, NYY
LF	Carl Crawford, TB

Pitchers

Pos	Player
P	Andrew Bailey, OAK@
P	Clay Buchholz, BOS*
P	Trevor Cahill, OAK
P	Fausto Carmona, CLE
P	Neftali Feliz, TEX
P	Phil Hughes, NYY
P	Cliff Lee, TEX
P	Jon Lester, BOS
P	Andy Pettitte, NYY@
P	Mariano Rivera, NYY*
P	CC Sabathia, NYY
P	Joakim Soria, KC
P	Rafael Soriano, TB@
P	Matt Thornton, CWS
P	Jose Valverde, DET
P	Justin Verlander, DET@
P	Jered Weaver, LAA@

Reserves

Pos	Player
C	John Buck, TOR@
C	Victor Martinez, BOS*
1B	Paul Konerko, CWS@
1B	Justin Morneau, MIN*
2B	Dustin Pedroia, BOS*
2B	Ian Kinsler, TEX@
2B	Ty Wigginton, BAL
SS	Elvis Andrus, TEX
3B	Adrian Beltre, BOS
3B	Alex Rodriguez, NYY
OF	Jose Bautista, TOR
OF	Torii Hunter, LAA
OF	Nick Swisher, NYY#
OF	Vernon Wells, TOR
DH	David Ortiz, BOS


NATIONAL LEAGUE

Starters

Pos	Player
SS	Hanley Ramirez, FLA
2B	Martin Prado, ATL$
1B	Albert Pujols, STL
DH	Ryan Howard, PHI
3B	David Wright, NYM
LF	Ryan Braun, MIL
CF	Andre Ethier, LAD
RF	Corey Hart, MIL$
C	Yadier Molina, STL


Pitchers

Pos	Player
P	Heath Bell, SD@
P	Jonathan Broxton, LAD
P	Matt Capps, WAS
P	Chris Carpenter, STL
P	Yovani Gallardo, MIL*
P	Roy Halladay, PHI
P	Tim Hudson, ATL
P	Josh Johnson, FLA
P	Hong-Chih Kuo, LAD@
P	Tim Lincecum, SF
P	Evan Meek, PIT
P	Arthur Rhodes, CIN
P	Adam Wainwright, STL
P	Brian Wilson, SF

Reserves

Pos	Player
C	Brian McCann, ATL
1B	Adrian Gonzalez, SD
1B	Joey Votto, CIN#
2B	Brandon Phillips, CIN
2B	Chase Utley, PHI+
SS	Rafael Furcal, LAD@
SS	Jose Reyes, NYM@
SS	Troy Tulowitzki, COL*
3B	Omar Infante, ATL
3B	Scott Rolen, CIN
OF	Michael Bourn, HOU
OF	Marlon Byrd, CHC
OF	Jason Heyward, ATL+
OF	Matt Holliday, STL
OF	Chris Young, ARI

Notes:
* Chosen on Player Ballot, on the DL
+ Chosen by fans, on the DL
@ Injury replacement
$ Named as reserve, will start as injury replacement
# Final Vote winner





Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

14 Comments
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Jack Moore
13 years ago

That was 2AM, dude. Learn your time zones.

Jack Moore
13 years ago
Reply to  Jack Moore

Actually it was 1:15. Jesus, Carson.

Piccamo
13 years ago
Reply to  Jack Moore

Carson is Jesus?