Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 9/28/15

Dan Szymborski: I’m here! Sorry, Papelbon fighting on Twitter

Comment From RotoLando
If Dueling was an acceptable form of conflict resolution, would we have more or less idiots in the world?

Dan Szymborski: Oh, more I’m more I’m sure. You’d see all sorts of excessive lawsuits stemming

Comment From Zen
bigger choke job: nationals season or papelbon?

Dan Szymborski: I think the Nats. We all expected the Nats to be good. We never really expected Papelbon to not be an asshole.

Comment From Phillies113
If I were the Nationals manager and, as a Phillies fan, was actively trying to sabotage the team, would I still be a better manager than Matt Williams?

Dan Szymborski: Probably. At least they’d get a good draft pick

Comment From GSon
ah.. figured I’d mosey in about five minutes late.. don’t want to push the moderator..

Comment From RotoLando
Jonathon “Sprewell” Papelbon

Comment From Omar
Who would you rather hang out with ,John Rocker or Jonathan Papelbon?

Dan Szymborski: Rocker

Dan Szymborski: I’m a straight white male of above-average income, I’m sure Rocker wouldn’t have any issue of me.

Dan Szymborski: Maybe the polish last name?

Comment From Archie
Are you trusting Archer in his repeat start against Toronto this week?

Dan Szymborski: As always, depends on what the alternate is

Comment From Cashmere+Taco
so Matt Williams had no idea what was going on, but knew Harper was coming out of the game? Or took him out himself for a different reason?

Dan Szymborski: That’s cute, thinking that Matt Williams has underlying reasoning that guides his decision-making process.

Comment From Sirras
What do you forsee the Mets doing in the offseason? I’m not convinced they win the Cespedes bidding war (which I think is a good thing honestly). They seem set in the middle infield with Tejada/Flores/Herrera. Maybe get a few bullpen arms and a decent utility type (Kelly Johsnon again?)?

Dan Szymborski: I think they’ll make a better-than-token attempt to re-sign Cespedes and give him a legitimate offer, but someone will offer him more than the Mets will be willing to pay

Dan Szymborski: And the Mets escape a terrible contract by being cheap, not becuase they actually understood the underlying reason it was a bad contract

Comment From Neal
DIJ WHATS FOR LUNCH

Dan Szymborski: Merguez sausage.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t give a crap about organic food – I like as much science stuff as possible! But Whole Foods has a LOT of sausages.

Comment From mike
How the hell do you decide between price and keuchel for the AL Cy? They’re virtually identical in both ERA and FIP

Dan Szymborski: When you get to a tie you absolutely can not break using normal evaluative methods, only then will I use stuff like leverage as the tiebreaker.

Comment From Sirras
How surprised ar eyou with how David Wright has played since coming back from the DL?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not all that surprised. He actually got time to recover from injury instead of foolhardy showing how tough he is.

Comment From Bren
Players still think ignoring the rookie after they HR is funny too.

Comment From Sirras
Trea Turner has barely played since being called up. Problem?

Dan Szymborski: Yes. There’s no reason he shouldn’t be starting once the season was essentially over.

Comment From Neal
Am I crazy for wanting the Jays to offer a QO to Estrada? Odds are he turns it down, but worst case scenario they overpay for a career year, and best case it gives them leverage to re-sign him as well as a draft pick if he doesn’t.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t think it’s really that crazy. 1/16 is really nothing. There are awlays people that think 1/16 is the same as offering 2/32 or 3/48, but they’re just dumb.

Comment From Sirras
What do the Marlins need to do this offseason to compete? What do they actually do this offseason?

Dan Szymborski: Spend a lot of money? I dont’ think this team has the resources in-house to be good.

Comment From CDM
Jonathan Papelbon has -0.2 WAR with the Nationals

Comment From Archie
Archer vs TOR, Wacha @ PIT, Stoman at BAL or Hendricks @ MIL

Dan Szymborski: I think I’d take Stroman at Baltimore. The team’s sucked offensively for months.

Comment From Christian
Papelbon choked out any hope Williams had of keeping his manager job right?

Dan Szymborski: I believe so.

Comment From semperty
What chance do you give St. Louis of resigning Heyward with the emergence of Piscotty and Grichuk as usable players?

Dan Szymborski: I still think decent. I still don’t think Heyward will trigger a bidding war.

Comment From RotoLando
Whole Foods bacon is awesome. It’s a trick to get the non-organic people in there, but damn it it works

Comment From Gee
Oh boy its Szymborski, get ready for lots of *these*

Dan Szymborski: YOU GOT A BETTER PLURAL OF THIS?

Dan Szymborski: THISSES? THAT’S CRAZY.

Comment From Henry
Is there really an argument for Arrieta to win Cy Young other than “TEH 20 WINZ”. If you prefer run prevention, Greinke is better ,and if you prefer defense-independent numbers, Kershaw is better.

Dan Szymborski: Well, he *does* have more bWAR.

Comment From Bryce Harper
I should have punched Paps in the face shouldn’t I?

Dan Szymborski: In self-defense of course.

Comment From ray
Tigers bringing back Ausmus good or nah?

Dan Szymborski: Nah

Comment From Neal
How disappointed will Orioles fans be this off-season?

Dan Szymborski: Not at all. This season has already provided the necessary demoralization.

Comment From c
what do you make of ryan goins’ transformation from offensive black hole to his present level of league average middle infielder offense? sustainable?

Dan Szymborski: Not sold yet.

Comment From Matt
Remember when Papelbon thought that Mo should be setting up for him in the All Star game a few years back?

Dan Szymborski: I actually think I missed that fun at the time.

Comment From Ron
Speaking of QO , who becomes the first player to actually take one?

Dan Szymborski: I’m still shocked that Cuddyer wasn’t, but the Mets out-dumbed the Rockies, an impressive feat.

Dan Szymborski: I still think there’s a *chance* Smarch does.

Comment From Archie
What do you think the odds are of the Red Sox starting the season with a Betts, Bradley, Castillo OF? Or will Dombrowski deal someone?

Dan Szymborski: I believe that’s the smartest configuration unless a deal falls into their laps.

Comment From Izzy
What are the Mets chances of winning the NLDS against the Dodgers with and without home field advantage?

Dan Szymborski: I dont’ have the numbers in front of me, but probably 44/40 or somethin glike that.

Dan Szymborski: Playoff formats favor the Dodgers – kershaw/greinke pitch a greater proportion of games in playoffs than they would in regular seaosn.

Comment From Matt
Papelbon gets traded to Japan this offseason a-la Mr Baseball

Dan Szymborski: They should pay all of Papelbon’s salary and give him to the Rockies, with the proviso that if the Rockies release or trade Papelbon elsewhere, then the Rockies become responsible for the salary.

Comment From earls ghost
Now that the Orioles season has all but officially ended, which direction do you think the Orioles will go. Having saved lots of cash not re-signing Cruz and Markakis last year and with Wieters, Davis, Chen and O’Day all most likely leaving, there should be enough cash for the organization to pursue free agents. Do you think they will spend lavishly on a corner OF and perhaps on a SP? (Though their mantra has been: “Buy the Bats, Grow the Arms.”) Or will they continue to look for value, perhaps retaining Parra at a reasonable price?

Dan Szymborski: Here’s the problem – losing Wieters, Davis, Chen, and O’Day doesn’t really free up cash for anything.

Dan Szymborski: They’re paying what, $29 million for those players this year?

Dan Szymborski: They can’t likely even *replace* the lost 2015 performance of those players with $29 million a year in free agency.

Dan Szymborski: So it doesn’t really free up money for improvements as they have to spend more than that just to get back to the team quality they have right now.

Dan Szymborski: Kinda like how if you stop paying mortgage on your house and your monthly payments are a very good deal, the bank foreclosing you don’t free up money for you. You still have to live somewhere.

Comment From Henry
Greinke has a higher bWAR than Arrieta, so that wouldn’t really be a good case for him

Dan Szymborski: Bah, that’s what I get for not double-checking.

Comment From Nik
Jared Eickhoff has pitched just as well as Aaron Nola – especially once he started throwing the curveball. Think he’s a legit rotation mainstay going forward?

Dan Szymborski: I’m cautiously optimistic that he’ll be a mid rotation guy.

Comment From Neal
Shark takes the QO.

Comment From Vic
What do you make of the Brewers SP on Tuesday? And, if he pitches well on Tuesday, will he also go on Sunday?

Dan Szymborski: Jorge Lopez? He’s had a breakout season, but also remember that AA ain’t MLB.

Comment From Neal
A Jays radio broadcaster suggested moving Tulo to first so they can use Goins at short stop next year.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, I made fun of that. It was Howarth.

Comment From Matt
2008 – “If I was managing the team, I would close,” Papelbon said. “I’m not managing the team, so it don’t matter…We’ve both earned that right; us, by winning the World Series and having the opportunity of having our manager there and our team being represented, and Mariano by what he’s done for this role, we’re in Yankee Stadium and blah, blah, blah,” Papelbon said. “It’s not that easy. Everybody thinks it’s a cut and dry answer, but it’s not.”

Dan Szymborski: I gotta say, I dont’ find that particularly egregious.

Dan Szymborski: I won’t fault Papelbon for being overconfident in his abilities. I will fault him for acting like an ass and punching people and throwing baseballs at heads.

Dan Szymborski: And Rivera was great, but let’s be honest, Hall of Fame Yankees, there’s a lot of additional blah, blah, blah about.

Comment From Bryce Harper
Not for self defense, for the good of humanity Dan

Comment From Phillies113
What did the poor Rockies do to deserve that??

Dan Szymborski: I think it would be a win for Rockies fans, given the chance that a frustrated Papelbon pitching in Coors knocks out the Monforts.

Comment From groucho
do you think lackey will get a QO?

Dan Szymborski: Yes

Comment From Guest
Gut reaction: NL Cy Young winner?

Dan Szymborski: Greinke

Comment From baltic wolf
With my fantasy baseball season at an end, I have to give a big shout out to the ZIPs projection system. Amazing to me, at least, how well it performed. Some misses like Hughes and Moss obviously, but it really knocked it out of the park with some other players—Chris Davis in particular. I had been skeptical that he could raise his batting average that much this year. Great job with your inputs!

Dan Szymborski: Like all projections, ZiPS will miss some and hit some. It’s a whole lot of algorithms, not a time machine after all.

Dan Szymborski: The future is very uncertain!

Comment From Guest
Gut reaction: Who wins the NL Wild Card game?

Dan Szymborski: Pittsburgh

Comment From Gary
Do you think there’s something to the Orioles being bad at developing arms? Arrieta, Gausman, and Bundy all look bad, and I can’t think of any recent successes.

Dan Szymborski: It’s hard to call it a pattern yet, but it’ s not promising.

Comment From Mike
Back to Arrieta – recognizing what he’s going up against for Cy Young with the double headed Dodger monster, does he have any chance at making a stealth run at NL MVP with the absurd second half he’s spun?

Dan Szymborski: I think it’s much harder for a pitcher to get that MVP Rub in a year with such a dominating MVP candidate.

Comment From fivetoolmike
But Arrieta has the highest BP WARP!

Dan Szymborski: I have not verified this

Comment From The Famous Singer Rob Stewart
Even at 26, how risky is it signing Jason Heyward when a good chunk of his value is in his defense?

Dan Szymborski: There is a good deal of risk. It’s hard to be a +20 guy for all that long and defense peaks really early. Essentially, major league defense is just decline.

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
Harper might have hurt his hand hitting Paps. That would not be good. Plus, you know, violence is bad.

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
When does it make sense for the Phillies to start going after free agents?

Dan Szymborski: Depends how things develop. If you are a rebuilding team in September 2015 with the worst record on baseball and you’re deciding *which* year you’re going to start pushing, you’ve gone down a very wrong road

Comment From Eric Weinstein
With Carlos Martinez now out for the season, are the Cardinals the worst NL team in the playoffs?

Dan Szymborski: No, I think they’re still better than the Mets.

Comment From Cashmere+Taco
hey do you know if anyone has started a daily fantasy site? seems like a great idea, wonder if there’s one or two readily available

Dan Szymborski: Wait, what?

Comment From Mike
AL MVP: Donaldson or Trout?

Dan Szymborski: Donaldson by a hair right now

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
Cy Young could split Greinke/Kershaw to open for Arrieta?

Dan Szymborski: There actually doesn’t appear to be any real vote splitting on any larger level

Comment From Bad Bill
Any worries about Trevor Rosenthal’s meltdown last night? Or is that just something that occasionally happens to closers?

Dan Szymborski: Didn’t see anything that would lead to anything more than the observation “Sometimes good players suck.”

Comment From Neal
Is Cy Young as much about the story as MVP?

Dan Szymborski: Not really. The word “value” isn’t in there to trick people that think the word “value” is a noun meaning “the relative worth of whatever weird argument you pull from your colon.”

Dan Szymborski: “Yeah, Cy Young is for best pitcher and there should be one for best player overall. Wait, the word value is in there! HOLY CRAP, WE NEED TO ASSIGN THE AWARD BASED ON WHETHER THE PLAYER HAS JOE BLANTON AS A TEAMMATE~!”

Comment From ANB4
If the Tigers decision came down to 1 year of Ausmus vs. 3 of Gardenhire, they made the right call, right? Please tell me I’m right.

Dan Szymborski: Good point.

Dan Szymborski: Though there’s a risk Gardenhire will still be available.

Comment From Cory S.
A pattern would be Seattle’s inability to develop a decent hitter outside of Seager.

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
Hayward going anywhere other than the Bronx this winter?

Dan Szymborski: I think he stays in St. Louis

Comment From Cashmere+Taco
since Harper/Papelbon have seemingly made up (at least publicly) and if the Nationals don’t cut or suspend Papelbon themselves, does Manfred do so? I’m not saying he should, just wondering if you think MLB would discipline Papelbon to say violence won’t be tolerated

Dan Szymborski: MLB not tolerating violence is of course a silly thing to expect

Dan Szymborski: Carlos Quentin got 8 games for charging the mound and breaking a person’s collarbone. Chris Davis got 25 games for neglecting to fill out the paperwork to renew the therapeutic medicine he takes for an anxiety condition.

Comment From Pirates Hurdles
Its better than the people who think the word value means best. Valuable as an adjective = extremely useful or important.

Dan Szymborski: “Value” in the MVP ballot is defined. The strength of a player’s offense and defense.

Comment From GSon
you are the Indians and want to make a deal for a LHH 1B.. who would you target given their budget restraints?

Dan Szymborski: Hmm

Dan Szymborski: Well, not FA as there aren’t a lot of budget options

Dan Szymborski: Adam Lind maybe? The Brewers having a new GM increases the probability that they acknowledge reality.

Comment From Bad Bill
I like your … pithy … Rosenthal analysis. Specifically, though, I wondered about his loss of command/control. Still the same answer, or a portent of elbow doom?

Dan Szymborski: *Every* pitcher has an inning here and there where they lose the plot. It’s just that with a closer, they only throw 1.

Comment From Walt Jocketty
Do you have a 2016 ZiPS projection for Randy Wolf? Asking for a friend

Dan Szymborski: I’m not allowed to enable you or Cincy people will beat me up.

Comment From Andy
Who gets back to the playoffs first and in what year: Marlins, Phillies or Braves?

Dan Szymborski: Wont’ say what year, but I think the Braves will get their first.

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
Ceiling for Greg Bird?

Dan Szymborski: Ceiling probably a minor star.

Dan Szymborski: I think he’s gotten a bit overhyped.

Dan Szymborski: I like him better than I liked Shane Greene last year, but you have a similar query

Dan Szymborski: “If X’s MLB performance is reflective of his ability, why did he play worse against AA and AAA players?”

Comment From Henry
Shouldn’t Tigers fans be more concerned with the overall decisionmaking process that led to ASSISTANT VP DAVE LITTLEFIELD than with whether Ausmus or Gardenhire manages?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, but that’s already settled – they’re not losing that decision making process.

Comment From Cory S.
I think Harper should win the MVP, but isn’t having an MVP season on a a non-playoff team an anti-value? (judging the team, not finances)

Dan Szymborski: Let’s assume it is. Why would we consider that in an individual award?

Dan Szymborski: $20 isn’t less valuable just because it’s in the wallet of a drunk driver.

Comment From Bob
Who would win in a fistfight between Jonathan Robert Papelbon and John Quincy Adams?

Dan Szymborski: Probably Papelbon. JQ didn’t seem like the brawling type.

Dan Szymborski: Plus he’s dead and it’s easy to punch a skeletonj

Comment From Guest
excited about life on Mars?

Dan Szymborski: We already found non-human life in the Nats dugout.

Comment From The Gyorko Store Called
How much of an advantage is home field advantage?

Dan Szymborski: about 3 percentage points.

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
“If X’s MLB performance is reflective of his ability, why did he play worse against AA and AAA players?” sample size?

Dan Szymborski: Except it’s the MLB performance that is the smaller one.

Comment From The Gyorko Store Called
When is the last time you used the phase “Cat’s Pajamas”?

Dan Szymborski: Actually, a few weeks ago.

Dan Szymborski: I recorded a one minute, fast-talking weekly wrapup using only 1930s sign, with a filter to make it sound like old-timey radio

Dan Szymborski: but I didn’t think it was good enough to do anything with

Dan Szymborski: slang, not sign

Comment From Loogey
Was Al Avilas decision to bring back Ausmus just a big F U to the media for leaking that Ausmus was being let go at the end of the season a while back? I mostly just cant imagine any other reason.

Dan Szymborski: I doubt it. I think it’s just ham-handed decision making process

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
Mike Schmidt won an MVP when his team finished more than 10 games back of the Mets. Can’t Harper win won for having, you know, a ridiculously good season and not running into any walls?

Comment From Cory S.
Because the individual award is based on who is most valuable to their team….right?

Dan Szymborski: Well, according to the MVP ballot, “value” is based on a the strength of a player’s offense and defense.

Comment From Phillies113
Which playoff team this year does not return to the postseason next year?

Dan Szymborski: Royals.

Comment From The+Dude
When it comes to organic produce, I only eat vegetables that were fed with organic grass and celery.

Comment From The+Dude
Whoever is using the username “The Gyorko Store Called” I salute you!

Comment From Mike
How much do you enjoy Xavier Woods’s trombone playing during New Day matches?

Dan Szymborski: Very much.

Dan Szymborski: The best was when he did the Final Fantasy victory music

Comment From Phillies113
It’s easy to punch a skeleton?? Uh, Dan. Dan. First, you’d have to FIND a skeleton. Either you break into a research lab, a biology classroom, or you dig up an old grave. All of these things are illegal and, thus, VERY hard to pull off without getting caught. And then you have to punch it! Bones are super hard; punching the skeleton would hurt so bad! It isn’t easy at all to punch a skeleton!

Dan Szymborski: I didn’t say it was easy to do without getting caught, I said it’s simply easy to defeat a skeleton once you have it.

Dan Szymborski: I mean you can find JQ Adam’s grave unless he was cremated or something

Dan Szymborski: Adams’

Dan Szymborski: Now, punching out an 1800s blacksmith? Considerably difficult.

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
what’s the first thing you would change if you were the commissioner and had full fiat power?

Dan Szymborski: At least one day game every day.

Comment From daneyko
Justin Bour is on fire. What to expect for him next season ? (with Stanton in the lineup)

Dan Szymborski: I woudln’t get overly excited

Comment From Pirates Hurdles
Come on Dan the instructions themselves say “There is no clear-cut definition of what Most Valuable means.”. There is also stuff in their about “General character, disposition, loyalty and effort.” I guess Bryce is out after not hustling yesterday

Dan Szymborski: but the value part they do define

Dan Szymborski: And there ain’t nothing on team quality

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
It’s easier for you to punch a skeleton than for a skeleton to punch you.

Dan Szymborski: Yeah, that’s thet thing.

Dan Szymborski: OK, another slow week — this tends to happen in Septembers — so if you have anything off-topic, say it now or forever hold your peace

Comment From The+Dude
The Orioles have arguably the worst minor league system, and 7 players heading towards FA. Should they trade Machado and or Jones to basically get an entire minor league system in return?

Dan Szymborski: They should try to sign Machado first, but if they can’t do it soon, I think they should trade him and then Jones.

Comment From Sirras
Any new PC games I shoud be looking into?

Dan Szymborski: There’s a cities skyline addon if you’re into that

Dan Szymborski: people are talkingj about undertale, but I don’t have it yet

Comment From Mike
What AAA video game title are you most looking forward to for the next 3 months?

Dan Szymborski: Looking forward to Just Cause 3

Comment From Miggy Azalea
Best chance of being awesome (in MLB) in 2016 – Urias, Glasnow, Giolito?

Dan Szymborski: I think Urias

Comment From The+Dude
You said you thought Pittsburgh would win a WC game. Seeing how dominant Arrieta has been against the Pirates, doesn’t that give the Cubs a boost?

Dan Szymborski: Yeah but the Pirates have this guy named Edna Garrett or something that is pretty good

Comment From Tom
The Cardinals will sign Heyward despite Grichuk and Piscotty and find a way to play them all. They are HYDRA.

Comment From the brain
If I wanted to make a request to a large number of people, what is the best way?

Dan Szymborski: Threatening communiqué to the UN?

Comment From Eric
So Zach Britton at 78.3% is running the best GB% season of all measurable time, right? Kind of by a wide margin. Is this insane or is it just me?

Dan Szymborski: I think there’s at least one higher one

Comment From Phillies113
If you were the pope, what would you do

Dan Szymborski: Get some papal pants. Robes are really awkward

Comment From The+Dude
You like the Dodgers, Dave Cameron thinks the Mets can hold their own against just about any team. The two of you get into a fist fight. Who wins?

Dan Szymborski: Thinking one team is better than the Mets doesn’t mean I don’t think the Mets can’t hold their own.

Dan Szymborski: Hold your own doesn’t necessarily mean favored.

Dan Szymborski: The Cubs can hold their own against the Pirates, too.

Comment From The+Dude
Dan, that was a flimsy set up to ask who would win in a fist fight, you or Dave Cameron. So who would win?

Dan Szymborski: Hard to tell. David’s not a drinker but I am, so I may be more willing to be aggressive foolish, but then again, David’s composure by not being inebriated might give him some finesse moves.

Comment From The+Dude
An army of 500 Trouts fights an army of 500 Harpers. No weapons, just bare hands. Who wins?

Dan Szymborski: I think Harper actually.

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
fist fights are juvenile who can drink more, you or cameron?

Dan Szymborski: Oh, I’ll put myself into a drinking contest easily

Dan Szymborski: I’d lose to Chris Dial, but I would do well against most others

Comment From Neal
If you were to fight 100 mini you’s. Who would win?

Dan Szymborski: How small are the mini me’s? It’s not linear, but at half size, I dont’ think I could take more than 3 mes.

Dan Szymborski: But if the mini mes were like anti-sized, I can stomp a whole lot

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
JP Crawford going to make the Phils April roster?

Dan Szymborski: I believe so.

Comment From Bigglesworth
Dodgers in a bit of a tailspin. Giants sweep would make things interesting. Any chance ?

Dan Szymborski: No.

Comment From The+Dude
Does Fangraphs get along with Baseball Reference, or are you competing with each other?

Dan Szymborski: I can’t speak for either group.

Dan Szymborski: But I’ve known both Sean Forman and Dave Cameron for going on 20 years.

Dan Szymborski: And I get along absolutely fine with both of them, as far as I know

Dan Szymborski: Now, I guess one or both think “Dan Szymborski, what a schmuck,” but I’m unaware of that so cannot include it when forming an opinion

Dan Szymborski: Oh, and in related drinking games, I’ve actually made hundreds of dollars in my lifetime from Milk Challenge bets.

Comment From Northsider
Dan’s Gut – Go eat a snickers. You act like a doofus when you’re hungry.

Dan Szymborski: I’m not listening to my gut – it’s the main case of me having to buy new pants.

Comment From War2d2
Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized Dan Szymborskis or one horse-sized Dan Szymborski?

Dan Szymborski: 100 duck-sized Szymborskis and I’ll tell you why

Dan Szymborski: The duck sized Szymborskis would be too indecisive to swarm me and would attack black ninja style

Comment From JJJJShabado
Do you watch any British panel or game shows? (e.g. QI, Would I Lie to You?, Pointless, etc.)

Dan Szymborski: I’ve seen QI

Comment From Neal
“Dan Symborski, what a schmuck”, name of your sex tape.

Dan Szymborski: The title of my sex tape would be “Dan Szymborski: Do not watch this unless you want your face to melt like that Nazi dude in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Comment From Dr. Johnny Fever
What team needs to be blown up but doesn’t know it yet?

Dan Szymborski: Might actually be the Orioles. I think the Reds and Rockies have at least some awareness.

Comment From earls ghost
Dan: my Klipsch computer speakers have finally bitten the dust. Music is almost as important to me as it is to you (I’m not a musician). Do you have a recommendation(s) to replace them? I can’t afford more than $250.

Dan Szymborski: For computer speakers? I don’t really have a recommendation. I don’t even *have* computer speakers.

Dan Szymborski: The headphones at my desk are ATH-m50x and that’s in your price range, but I don’t have recommendation for speakers

Comment From Neal
More like face melting because of the sweet guitar riff’s you’d let off during it.

Dan Szymborski: I don’t even play guitar! I play piano though

Comment From The Joker
True or false. The Dodgers are Better off without Puig in the playoffs.

Dan Szymborski: False.

Comment From Grand Admiral Braun
Steve Carlton 1973: 20 losses and 4.5 WAR

Comment From Grand Admiral Braun
Steve Carlton 1970: 10-19 with a 3.6

Comment From Grand Admiral Braun
With Shelby Miller in mind (5-17 W-L record but a 3.3 fWAR), I was wondering what the highest WAR number was for a player with the worst W-L record).

Dan Szymborski: Turk Farrell went 10-20 with 7 bWAR

Dan Szymborski: Ryan went 8-16 leading the league in ERA+ and 5.4 bWAR

Comment From Rico
What are your feelings on Michael Conforto? Had he not lost rookie eligibility, where do you think we would see him on top prospect lists this offseason and how do you project him moving forward?

Dan Szymborski: I think he projects quite well going forward, though I don’t have it in front of me

Dan Szymborski: Jim Abbot 7-15, 5.8 bWAR.

Comment From Sam
Where does Ian Desmond end up next year? (Club, position too if you don’t think SS)

Dan Szymborski: I think Padres do something stupid

Comment From Mike
Out of Russell, Baez, Castro, and Coughlan, who would you start at SS/2B during the playoffs?

Dan Szymborski: Russell and Castro

Dan Szymborski: For all the complaining about Castro’s maturity, he took the benching like a champ and has bene a lot better since

Comment From RotoLando
Hmmm…..20 dollars MIGHT be more valuable in the wallet of a drunk driver. If he/she gets into a fiery crash, and the 20 dollar bill is burned up, then that decreases the total supply of money in the economy, thus making my 20 dollars slightly more valuable. Thanks, you lush!

Comment From CM52
You’ve known Dave Cameron for going on 20 years? I thought he was like 30? This sounds creepy.

Dan Szymborski: You know, he ages a year every year, dont’ you?

Dan Szymborski: I believe he’s 2 years younger than me. I’m 37 and I think he’s 35.

Dan Szymborski: We were the teenagers of rec.sport.baseball

Dan Szymborski: I actually stopped for a split second to verify in my brain that I’m still 37.

Comment From The+Dude
Thoughts on Severino? Is he a future ace, #2 starter, mid/end of the rotation or relief pitcher

Dan Szymborski: I think he has serious ace potential

Comment From GSon
== just put a new set of Best Buy speakers (powered woofer and two speakers) on my system.. great sounds..

Dan Szymborski: As I said, I have no help for computer speakers!

Dan Szymborski: OK, time to wrap it up.

Dan Szymborski: Thanks for coming everyone! I also appreciate the no terrible steroid arguments today.

Comment From The+Dude
It’s a little weird seeing an advertisement for a Makita 20-Inch Gas Chainsaw on Fangraphs.

Dan Szymborski: People on FanGraphs don’t need to clear small trees in their backyard?

Dan Szymborski: I chopped down a peach tree last year

Dan Szymborski: Now, the house’s previous owner had the peach tree

Dan Szymborski: BUT WHY ARE YOU PLANTING A PEACH TREE IN OHIO?

Dan Szymborski: I’m thinking of planting a hardy cherry tree though.

Comment From The+Dude
Was the tree grass fed?

Dan Szymborski: I think it was fed by water and sunshine.

Dan Szymborski: It’s not like I was doing anything.

Dan Szymborski: The other trees seem to be staying alive well.

Comment From The+Dude
Why is your chat written by Carson Cistulli?

Dan Szymborski: I would never allow my chat to be written by THE WORST PERSON IN HUMAN EXISTENCE

Comment From Roger
Are you talking to yourself?

Dan Szymborski: I’m not convinced you guys aren’t all multiple personaltiies asking questions on my laptop

Comment From The+Gyorko+Store+Called
Yesterday, I used a pruning chainsaw to cut a large branch of a fig tree

Dan Szymborski: Figs are such an udnerrated fruit

Dan Szymborski: OK, thanks for coming everybody

Dan Szymborski: Remember, you can find me at ESPN.com, chats and projections here at fangraphs, and DSzymborski on Twitter.

Comment From The+Dude
Apples are overrated

Dan Szymborski: No, I think apples are rated.