It’s become a practice of the present author in recent years to purchase — before FanGraphs’ annual spring pilgrimage to the desert — to purchase a new ballcap in February, with a view towards cultivating within my colleagues a combination of jealously and respect that my actual “work” is incapable of producing.

Last year, an exhaustive search — painfully documented over a series of posts — resulted in the acquisition of a Winston-Salem Spirits cap from 1994 with a weird red sun and melancholy eagle on it.

This year’s edition of the search began last week and continues today.

To wit:

NOS 90s SEAGRAM’S GIN snapback hat rap hip hop (Link)
Style: Tasteful Snapback
Time Left: N/A
Cost: US $14.99 (Buy It Now)

There are many reasons for an octogenarian male to fall asleep whilst fishing for lake trout from the bow of a reasonably priced pontoon boat. To do so in the absence of this tastefully appointed cap, however, is poor form. Poor form all around.

***

SMITH COLLEGE THE GAME DEADSTOCK HAT CAP (Link)
Style: Adjustable Strapback
Time Left: N/A
Cost: US $11.90 (Buy It Now)

On an otherwise appropriately dressed middle-aged man, this hat indicates to the world that its wearer is both (a) gainfully employed and (b) the father of an intelligent and independent-minded young woman. On a 35-year-old weblogger with an unkempt mustache, however, the message is more troublesome — perhaps even illegal in certain jurisdictions.

***

SURF SKATE HIP LOT WHOLESALE BLANK 90s HAT (Link)
Style: Adjustable Snap- and Strapback
Time Left: N/A
Cost: US $148.90 (Buy It Now)

What one finds here is a collection of fifty (50!) “surf” and “skate”-type hats from the 1990s. Of great use, this particular item, to the high-school drama program that’s decided to adapt for the stage all 148 episodes of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

***

Vintage CHARLESTON CHARLIES New Era fitted cap (Link)
Style: Fitted (7 3/8)
Time Left: 2 days, 7 hours
Cost: US $49.99 (Current Bid)

While this cap features its own undoubted charms, what else is notable about it is how there are multiple other vintage Charleston Charlies caps also currently available on eBay but not all offered by the same vendor. With regard to who these Charlies actually were, some brief reconnaissance suggests that this was the name for a minor-league club based in Charleston, West Virginia, between 1971 and -83.

***

vtg SHASTA soda snapback hat cola pop beverage (Link)
Style: Mesh Snapback
Time Left: 5 days, 11 hours
Cost: US $5.00 (Starting Bid)

For those readers who, like the author, were raised less by their parents and more by 1980s sitcoms, Shasta cola — the preferred beverage of TV’s the Keaton family — will provoke warm associations. Unfortunately, the plastic, trucker-style mesh back might also provoke a rash or something like a rash.