Nice Weather He’s Having: Doug Fister So Far

This past Saturday, the city of Portland, Oregon, USA, was treated to the most absolutely fantastic weather conditions that either God or resident billionaire/computer nerd Paul Allen — either one of them — could possibly produce. I mean, I can’t say for sure what it was like in the Garden before Eve partook of the fruit, but I’m guessing it couldn’t have been much nicer than the Rose City was on the most recent of Sabbaths.

Also, Portland has way more breweries than Eden seem to’ve had, so we’ve got that going for us, too.

Of course, as I write this on Monday evening, we in Portland and Vicinity are no longer basking in the sunshine. No, instead it’s showering lightly and about 15-20 degrees cooler. Nor should such weather come as a surprise: summer doesn’t truly descend upon the Pacific Northwest until after July Fourth. The change in weather isn’t ideal, but it has presented the raw material for a sweet analogy I’m about to make in re a kinda anonymous back-of-the-rotation starter.

Allow me to explain.

Last week, I was cordially invited to join the thoughtful gentlemen of Pitchers and Poets on their eponymous podcast. Among other sundry topics, we discussed Seattle Mariner Doug Fister and his season to date. Messrs Walker and Nusbaum — who, against all odds, are not the owners of a New York-style delicatessen — had a question about Fister’s place in the hearts and minds of Seattleites. They wondered, in concert, “Why is it that the more sabermetrically oriented of Mariner fans — why is it that rather than enjoying the run of success that Fister has experienced to date, that they must instead quickly remind any- and everyone who’ll listen that Fister is unlikely to continue such success.”

For those readers who aren’t hanging on every single one of Doug Fister’s sweet changepieces, here’s what you need to know about him: he doesn’t have overpowering stuff, but he’s got an excellent ERA (1.72), but he’s got a less excellent xFIP (4.25), but he’s also young enough (26) to be an interesting piece in Seattle’s rotation.

As to why certain Mariner fans might hasten to express reservations about Fister’s future, I think I might know why. And I think the recent brush with paradise here in Portland can help us understand.

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Under the influence of such meteorological perfection as we here in Portland experienced this past Saturday — and with full knowledge that such weather is unlikely to last more than a day or two — a man has two choices: he can either (a) just enjoy the sunshine for what it is, or (b) eye the nice weather suspiciously, fully aware that it’ll be gone just as quickly as it came.

The first reaction is one native to a sort of person whom, for the purposes of the present work, we’ll call a Good Times Charlie (GTC). The GTC is the kind of man, woman, and/or child who, as Thich Nhat Hanh might say, is fully present in the moment. The latter behavior is typical of another sort, one we’ll call a Nervous Ned (NN). The NN, for better or worse, is unable to enjoy present conditions unless he’s pretty sure they’ll continue into the future.

Neither type — the Charlie or the Ned — is inherently good/bad. But recognizing such types can help us understand why certain fans might have reservations about Fister, irrespective of his success to date.

My guess is that the majority of real-live sabermetricians are of the Nervous Ned variety. This isn’t to say that sabermetricians can’t have a good time, but inasmuch as sabermetrics is the scientific method applied to baseball, those who practice it have trained themselves to possess a healthy skepticism. On account of Fister possesses such a considerable split between his ERA and xFIP, on account of he’s got a 2.1% HR/FB, on account of he sports an 88 mph fastball, and on account of said fastball features a pretty bogus 2.2% whiff rate (= not so good) — well, there’re reasons for skepticism.

In his defense, a true Nervous Ned is also a friend of those players — your Jay Bruces, your Derek Hollands — who’ve been disastrously unlucky. While the Charlie might only see Bruce’s .223 batting average from last year or Holland’s 6.12 ERA, the Ned recognizes the role of (bad) luck in those numbers.

The only real problem type is the heretofore unmentioned Jerky Jed. The Jerky Jed is the sort of fan who’ll sing the praises neither of Fister nor Bruce/Holland. The Jerky Jed is — not for nothing — a jerk. Don’t hang out with that guy.





Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

12 Comments
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RonDom
16 years ago

I’m Jerky Jed.

CSJ
16 years ago

Freakin’ Jed. He stole my girl and ran over my dog.

JerkyJed
16 years ago
Reply to  CSJ

Sup.

Nusbaum
16 years ago

Cistulli, are sure you are familiar with my faux-relative’s Upper Westside eatery Nussbaum and Wu?

Taylor H
16 years ago

I can’t decide whether you’re insane, brilliant, or both.

Dr. Finkelstein
16 years ago

Reminds me of a friend I had years ago, Dickhead Dick.

Billy
16 years ago

I don’t think it is fair to classify fans that way. Fans aren’t so myopic as to only live in the here and now. That would be silly. The driving motivation behind all fans (both Ned and Charlie) is hope. That the Cincinnati Reds are in first place right now makes me happy, but the only thing of consequence is whether they will be in first place (or the playoffs, or with a winning record, etc.) when the season ends. Both Charlie and Ned base their hope on their expectations of what will happen going forward. Charlie tends to place more weight on prior results to form an expectation of future results. Ned tends to place more weight on past performance to form an expectation of future results. To say that Ned is apprehensive that the good times won’t continue isn’t fair because Ned is just as likely to be calm knowing that the good times are yet to come. Charlie, on the other hand, expects his luck to continue to be rotten. Ned doesn’t rain on Charlie’s parade in the good times any more than he talks Charlie down from the ledge when things go sour. The reason is both of them base their hope on their expectations, even though their expectation come from differing assumptions.

Patrick
16 years ago

Taylor,

I think the answer is CLEARLY “both”. It’s why I love Carson so much. He lets my inner super-nerd out to play.

Disturbed
16 years ago

I’m a Good Time Charlie to other fans, I try not to be a “Debbie Downer” even if I know a player is getting lucky. For example I’m a Tigers fan so most of my friends and fellow Tiger fans are loving Austin Jackson right now. Even though I know much of his success is due to a fluky BABIP and he is due to regress(he’s starting to the last week or so) I don’t preach that to them. I let them enjoy it.

I will point out to them if a player is getting unlucky though. Like last year with Verlander, when he got off to a rocky start the first month of the season alot of the people I know were calling for his head. That’s when I brought up some metrics to try to convince them he was going to turn it around.

payday0023
16 years ago

Soooo flowery. You can’t just slam a bunch of words together and call it good. “Heretofore?” I’m not buying it.
Criticism Carl out.

Dictionary David
16 years ago
Reply to  payday0023
Julio Wayman
15 years ago

anything sticky or stringy. spaghetti, pudding, jello, ramen, lasagna, etc. have fun!