Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 12/17/18

12:02
Epic Mike Francesa : Thoughts on Ramos signing?

12:02
Dan Szymborski: I think it’s decent. Just hope the Mets stay out of Castellanos nonsense.

12:03
Dan Szymborski: And hello!

12:03
Dan Szymborski: Keeping this week to a strict hour; came back from Winter Meetings from a nasty cold and I keep almost dozing off in my chair

12:03
Vladdito: Hi Dan, what do Kevin Pillar and Justin Smoak bring back to the Jays (esp if they go to the Giant and Rockies)? Thanks!

12:04
Dan Szymborski: You’ll get a couple of real prospects for the pair. There’s some value there.

12:04
Russell: What impact do the trades the Indians, have done so far, have on your 2019 projections for them? As it feels not much with a good amount of salary dropped.

12:05
Dan Szymborski: Not much so far. ZiPS doesn’t see a lot of space between Santana and Encarnacion at this point, Alonso’s projection wasn’t good, and otherwise, mostly just changes the expected positions of Ramirez and Kipnis

12:05
Dan Szymborski: It would have been a bigger deal if a pitcher had been traded.

12:05
Kiermaier’s Piercing Green Eyes: Why should the Rays believe they can tap into Yandy’s potential when Cleveland couldn’t?

12:06
Dan Szymborski: Not every team has every answer! The Rays are a little more interested in upside than Cleveland ought to be right now

12:07
MR: Who do you think plays 3B for the Padres this season?

12:07
Dan Szymborski: TBD. I think if they don’t acquire anyone, they continue to use Myers there

12:07
pelkey: I’m listening to alot of piano concertos right now. Any recs?

12:07
Dan Szymborski: Depends how deep you are into them.

12:08
Dan Szymborski: The Schumann A minor remains my favorite, but that could be old hat for you

12:08
Dan Szymborski: I’d flip it around – what concertos do you like?

12:08
Xolo: With the Mets signing Ramos and the Braves reportedly out, what do you think the Marlins are actually going to be able to trade Realmuto for?

12:08
Dan Szymborski: Less than they’ve been posturing

12:09
carrotjuice: Do you view Jose Quintana as more of a league average pitcher going forward, or something more?

12:09
Dan Szymborski: I think there’s still upside.

12:09
pelkey: Could dansby swanson headline a deal for an elite SP?

12:09
Dan Szymborski: It’s a little tougher in that he’s looking more like an average player. Which is good, of course, but it’s hard to get an elite SP as the main key of a package

12:10
Perry: Given his comments about “the American way” to play baseball, should the Padres be concerned about bringing Kinsler in to mentor Tatis, Urias and all of the other young Latin American players they have coming up?

12:10
Dan Szymborski: No, but if he’s obnoxious, they should put a radio in his tooth and send him to a house filling up with popcorn

12:10
The West is Wild: Dan, if you had to pick a guy or two from the D-backs who you think ZiPS is perhaps underrating a little, who would that be?

12:10
Dan Szymborski: Walker

12:10
Dan Szymborski: Lamb

12:11
Casual Fan: hear me out on this: Marlins price themselves out of all other players and fall into the Angels lap. Angels can offer a bunch of cheap 50 FV players that have a ton of team control. Fletcher, Barria are already in the bigs, Marsh and Sandoval and very close and someone like Soriano has very high upside. This gives Marlins capable players for the now and high upside for the future. No top 50’s, but at this point all the teams that would have been interested are basically off the board now

12:11
Dan Szymborski: I think the Marlins just may foolishly hang onto Realmuto if they don’t like the package

12:11
carrotjuice: Yesterday I learned that Phil Hartman and the Simpsons writers were starting to work on a live action Troy McClure movie before he was murdered, and now I’m sad that this movie will never come to pass and I want you to share in the sadness.

12:11
Dan Szymborski: I was unaware.

12:11
The West is Wild: What is the difference in the positional adjustment from third base to first? Which is to say, how much does a move from third to first potentially impact Jake Lamb’s WAR value?

12:11
Dan Szymborski: It depends.

12:11
Dan Szymborski: I know, that’s an awful answer, but let me go on.

12:13
Dan Szymborski: It’s usually about 15 runs of offense difference

12:13
Dan Szymborski: But the average 3B doesn’t gain 15 runs of defense relative to the position when moving to 1B

12:13
DJ Tanner: Are the Astros not including Kyle Tucker for Realmuto? Feel like thats the fit right now, but no one seems to be talking about them as the favorite.

12:13
Dan Szymborski: I think they *might* do that if it’s the bulk of the package.

12:13
Lou: The Dodgers are getting Bryce Harper, aren’t they?

12:13
Dan Szymborski: I think they’re the favorite

12:13
Matt: Yanks are roughly $7MM below the LT threshold. They still need quite a bit of help – a Didi replacement, and at least 2 more bullpen arms. They’re going to be forced over the LT and, in that case, they might as well blow past it, right? Machado coming to NY.

12:14
Dan Szymborski: They claim they don’t want to, but they will at the end

12:14
Purple Mays Haze: For or against managers needing to wear the uniform? Wouldn’t you prefer to see a manager wearing a suit a la Pat Riley?

12:14
Dan Szymborski: For. I like the nod to baseball’s player-manager roots

12:14
Billy Beane: Hey Dan, I’m thinking about building a minor league projection system somewhat similar to KATOH. Any advice?

12:14
Dan Szymborski: Get lots of data!

12:14
ryan: Hey Dan! given that it sounds like the Indians are way less motivated to move Kluber/Bauer now that they’ve dumped some salary, who do you see the Reds targeting? can’t imagine they’ll be content just grabbing Roark for their rotation.

12:15
Dan Szymborski: I think their pursuit of Keuchel is real

12:15
Rockie Dangerfield: At the Winter Meetings, three teams got together to trade four first basemen amongst themselves, and Jeff Bridich was nowhere to be found.  Did you facepalm as hard as the rest of the Rockies fans did after hearing that?  Thanks for the Rockies elegy, it was great!

12:15
Dan Szymborski: It would’ve been amusing in some way if the Rockes got Santana. It would mean that they didn’t go after him when his outlook is better and only went after him when his outlook was worse

12:15
Mike: Best Wishes to you Dan.  I agree with your definition of chili, but I just gotta know if there are also rules for tacos.  Is a fish taco a thing or is more of a tortilla wrapped piece of fish with random condiments/toppings?  San Diego needs to know!!!

12:15
Dan Szymborski: I’m not as strict about tacos

12:16
Ryno: Most overhyped free agent this year?

12:16
Dan Szymborski: I’d actually say Harper!

12:16
Sirras: Give us a big/exciting signing from last year to remind us to temper our expectations this offseason.

12:16
Dan Szymborski: Hosmer WAS exciting!

12:17
Kiner’s disembodied Hands: Do you feel like Neal Huntington has a better reputation within baseball circles than he does among the average Pirates fan?  It seems like he had the inside track on the Giant’s President of Baseball Operations position if he had so chosen.

12:17
Dan Szymborski: He generally does. The Pirates executives do still work under ownership constraints

12:17
The West is Wild: Will a move to St. Louis impact Goldschmidt’s ZiPS projections much?

12:17
Dan Szymborski: Not particularly

12:17
tb.25: Is “ZiPS” a knockoff version of ZiPS? If so, then I also do not care about “ZiPS”. Gimme the real thing.

12:17
James: How surprised are you that BVW has somehow improved the Mets while not doing anything fantastically stupid?

12:17
Dan Szymborski: I was more making fun of the Mets process for hiring a GM rather than the actual GM they hired

12:18
Dan Szymborski: I don’t think it was obvious that BVW was going to be a bust. I made fun of them looking at Littlefield mostly

12:19
Boots: Adrian Morejon or Michel Baez? Who would you bet on for having a better chance of panning out?

12:20
Dan Szymborski: I’d give the slight edge to Morejon personally – I feel his repetoire is more developed

12:20
Ozzie Ozzie Albies Free: If you’re sick, go rest up. Get one of your cats to finish the chat.  They’ll probably have less typos than you anyway.

12:20
Dan Szymborski: None of them are in the room

12:20
Dan Szymborski: And Galileo’s annoyed with me as I did not give him a blintz but instead shoved prenisolone into his mouth

12:20
Scott: Who is a better player over the next 5 years…Buxton or Margot?

12:20
Dan Szymborski: Buxton still.

12:20
JKim: Who is the real Austin Barnes? 2017 142 wRC+ Barnes or 2018’s 77 wRC+ ?

12:20
Dan Szymborski: Why not the middle?

12:20
Purple Mays Haze: Assuming the Rays found a market inefficiency that, say, right handed power hitters are fungible, hence they release C.J. Cron, is this really the right move? By doing so, the conclusion by the rest of the league is that they found a market inefficiency and, minimally, have teams explore the validity of it? Wouldn’t it be “smarter” to make it seem like there is a non-baseball reason for releasing him? e.g. let leak that there was a non-baseball reason – theoretically this helps Cron too – because right now everyone now thinks that “players like Cron” are less valuable – so he may even play along that it was really a ‘fit’ issue…

12:21
Dan Szymborski: I’m not sure there’s any leak type thing that other teams aren’t going to notice

12:21
The Man Who Wouldn’t Balk: Josh James or Touki Touissant this year?

12:21
Dan Szymborski: Touki by a nose?

12:21
Dan Szymborski: ZiPS says the opposite I believe

12:21
Christian: How much does new park impact 32-year-old Andrew McCutchen’s 2019 outlook?

12:21
Dan Szymborski: Not to much – he’ll be an upgrade over what they have but a fairly forgettable corner outfielder

12:21
DJ Tanner: If the Rays are more interested in upside, do you think Yandy > Bauers in terms of upside?

12:21
Dan Szymborski: Yandy certainly LOOKS like he shoudl hit for more power

12:21
Hello: What do you do with Plawecki/d’Arnaud if you’re the Mets?  Trade Plaw for a decent LOOGY?  See if d’Arnaud can hack it as corner IF/OF guy?

12:22
Dan Szymborski: Depends on the offers really

12:22
The Ghost of Dan’s Grandma: Daniel, Daniel, Daniel.  Am I forever doomed to cast this incorporeal husk across the meaningless plane of the inbetween?  I am naught, ambling towards business unfinished when still burdened with bone and blood and the dead-weight of worldly thought.  The unfinished business of a kiss bestowed unasked by the lips of my grandson.

12:23
Dan Szymborski: My grandmother was German and a Lutheran-turned-atheist. She would never be this sentimental

12:23
Dan Szymborski: And I wans’t super close with my other grandmother because my dad wasn’t that close with his family and he died when I was 19

12:24
Kervin: Is argyle plaid?

12:24
Dan Szymborski: Yes?

12:25
Purple Mays Haze: Ever thought to use ZIPS to come up with a top 100 prospects list (based purely on expected projections)? Or maybe you’ve already done this…

12:25
Dan Szymborski: I did them every year at ESPN!

12:25
Dan Szymborski: Presumably now at FG

12:25
cheese: Think there’s a realistic chance LAD are considering Machado, with Seager sliding to 2B?  If rumors are true that they have interest in Harper, at that amount wouldn’t a RH hitter fit the lineup better?

12:25
Dan Szymborski: I think that’s less likely

12:25
Ryan: Is Pujols’ career over?

12:26
Dan Szymborski: Unless something new happened during this chat, no.

12:26
Dan Szymborski: It probably SHOUDL be

12:26
pelkey: I’m a total newbie and listen on spotify, so most of the time I don’t even know what I’m listening to. I’m super into Dustin o’halloran, but that stuff may not even be considered concerto.

12:29
Dan Szymborski: Well, if you’re a newbie, Schumann A minor, Mozart 20, Liszt Totentanz (not strictly a concerto), Beethoven 5, Hummel A minor, either Chopin, Rachmaninoff 2/3, Saint-Saëns 2/4, Grieg

12:29
Matt W: That last thing the Mets truly need is a competent Center Fielder. Should they be pushing hard for Pillar? Or is he not enough of an upgrade over Lagares?

12:29
Dan Szymborski: I’m confused about their whole OF scenario

12:29
Dan Szymborski: I’m wondering if Nimmo is in another uniform in 2019

12:29
Mr. Glass: What can the Padres realistically trade Wil Myers for?

12:29
Dan Szymborski: Not much. He’s not enticing enough to pay for the privilege of payign

12:29
James: Will Harper get $300 million? Doesn’t really feel like any teams will want to give out that kind of money.

12:30
Dan Szymborski: I think he will

12:30
@RationalMLBFan: I understand how ZIPS can project individual performance like BB%, K%, ISO. But I’m a little confused about how ZIPS projects context-dependent stats like R, RBI, W, SV–especially for several years ahead, when a player’s teammates aren’t even known. What inputs are used for context-dependent stats?

12:30
Dan Szymborski: For team-specific things, ZiPS will regress towards average, simply because that tends to work as a predictor. Great teams don’t generally flip

12:30
Compton: In the ARI ZiPS, you mentioned “there’s literally no one in this group I would take as a great candidate to have a breakout season.” Super soaker to your head: If you had to pick someone of that group for a “breakout” who would you take?

12:30
Dan Szymborski: K-Tel Records

12:31
Sam: Are there any longterm aging curve WAR projections available anywhere? Thought I remember hearing something about them here?

12:31
Dan Szymborski: I mostly hoard them. We ought to have three years in the spring

12:31
Sandy Kazmir: Is it somewhat easier to be a team like Baltimore that obviously needs so much compared to someone like Texas that refuses to acknowledge they’re in the same boat with slightly more present talent?

12:31
Dan Szymborski: Each approach has challenges. I’m not sure Texas is ncessarily wrong – they’re a wealthy team and they have some young talent

12:31
carrotjuice: Franz Xaver Mozart’s 2 piano concertos were surprisingly good, even though they sounded like two completely different composers wrote them.

12:31
The West is Wild: Dan, thanks for answering my dumb questions. One last one: what park factor did ZiPS use for D-backs pitchers and hitters?

12:32
Dan Szymborski: A three year weighted towards present. The problem is that it’s hard to see signal in one-year park effects even though we have an obvious reason for them

12:32
CamdenWarehouse: Galileo would have typos. I saw his Google searches.

12:32
PieTraynee: Tulowitzki seems like he should be a relatively low risk target for the Pirates, no?

12:32
Dan Szymborski: Yes

12:32
Matt W: Argyle is the best character in Die Hard, yes or yes?

12:33
Dan Szymborski: It’s unsung hero Theo, who had more technical expertise than everyone and didn’t hurt anyone!

12:33
Dan Szymborski: Plus, he was in Top Gun

12:33
CoopDeVille: Which pitcher is closer to becoming an ace in 2019…. German Marquez or Jack Flaherty?

12:33
Dan Szymborski: German, he arguably was one!

12:33
Matt: Bring me chili, Dan.

12:33
Dan Szymborski: Ut;s bit gard ti naje!’

12:33
Dan Szymborski: Err It’s not hard to make!

12:34
Dan Szymborski: Hmm is Swedish just English if your hand isn’t in the right place when talking?

12:34
Dan Szymborski: Well typing?

12:34
Purple Mays Haze: If you were a team that could privately set up an NFL combine-type deal for baseball, what would you measure ( other than obvious ones like sprint speed or velocity of a throw)? Agility? Throw accuracy? Ability to scoop up short hops? What would you be interested in?

12:34
Dan Szymborski: I want to see players do the American Ninja course stuff

12:35
Ozzie Ozzie Albies Free: What’s your usual defense against 1. d4? Do you accept or decline the queens gambit if tried, or do you go for the Indian defense?

12:35
Dan Szymborski: 1…f5

12:35
Matt: Don’t you think it’s about time you start crediting the creator of ZiPS?

12:35
Dan Szymborski: It’s not like he’s getting out of the oubliette

12:36
OddBall Herrera: How about Ryan McMahon to the Padres for Myers + some salary relief?  Makes non-zero amounts of sense…

12:36
Dan Szymborski: It woudlnt’ be crazy. The Rockies would at least give Myers the job on a silver platter

12:36
JimTheCarpetLintGuy: Who is your personal favorite band?

12:36
Dan Szymborski: decemberists

12:36
Paul: Where can I put my gum?

12:37
Dan Szymborski: Under your table. I mean it’s not my table, so I don’t care what you do with your table or desk

12:37
Mike: Is vegetarian chili, chili?

12:37
Dan Szymborski: No

12:37
Dan Szymborski: Why can’t vegetarians just eat vegetables?

12:37
Dan Szymborski: You don’t see hamburger eaters trying to make broccoli that’s made of hamburger meat and call it carnivorous broccoli

12:39
Dan Szymborski: Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a vegetarian and I have a hard time sometimes because I think it’s more consistent with my ethical worldview, but I don’t get why vegetarians want to cosplay as meat eaters

12:39
Dan Szymborski: “I think it’s wrong to kill pigs, but I still want my teeth and stomach to get the idea that’s what I’m doing!” sounds a little serial killery to me

12:39
Fred Rogers: Does Tulo have anything left in the tank?

12:39
Dan Szymborski: I think he does.

12:40
Dan Szymborski: The injuries are a problem and a contending team can’t risk it I don’t think

12:40
JimTheCarpetLintGuy: Did you ever watch Jack Flaherty pitch?  He had some of the nastiest stuff you ever did see. He’s going to win the Cy Young in 2021

12:40
Dan Szymborski: Well, the slider is pornographic

12:40
JimTheCarpetLintGuy: How did you get your job at Fangraphs?

12:41
Dan Szymborski: I agreed with FanGraphs to start working here.

12:41
Mandy is 92% Fresh: There was an NFL punter on American Ninja once.  It did not end well.

12:41
Dan Szymborski: That’s becuase ninja isn’t a field position game

12:41
CDial: How about putting the totals on the ZiPS team graphic?

12:41
Dan Szymborski: I like rewarding adding.

12:41
Compton: New Decemberists EP came out on Friday! H/t to Dan for the recommendation a few years back

12:41
George: What do you think the odds are of a Sonny Gray bounce back in 2019?

12:42
Dan Szymborski: I’m not overly optimistic, but ZiPS think there’s a real chance

12:42
Matt: Wouldn’t “carnivorous brocolli” be brocolli that eats meat?

12:42
Dan Szymborski: It happens on Rand McNally

12:42
Dan Szymborski: If I’m ever on Rand McNally, I’ll get along with broccoli as I never committed war crimes against hte species

12:42
Adam Guttridge: Who would have a better MLB batting line in 2019, Tim Tebow or Barry Bonds?

12:42
Dan Szymborski: At this point, Tebow

12:43
mike : have the decembrists ever written a happy song? ever? I mean, I am a fan, but I worry about them….

12:43
Dan Szymborski: Philomena?

12:43
Mandy is 92% Fresh: Do you strict rules for meatloaf like you do for chili?

12:43
Dan Szymborski: No, because a loaf can be a lot of things.

12:43
Ozzie Ozzie Albies Free: As a vegetarian, the reason why we want faux meat isn’t because we want the idea of meat. It’s so you meat eaters have a better alternative that is enticing enough to eat that instead of actual dead rotting animal flesh.

12:43
Dan Szymborski: SOMEONE’s buying it though and it’s not us!

12:44
Fan Braffs: Seriously, who is Brandon Hyde?

12:44
Dan Szymborski: O’s manager!

12:45
Mandy is 92% Fresh: Is the Royals’ rebuild plan really going to be cling dearly to Perez and Merrifield, sign a random fast player, take a couple of Rule 5 pitchers, and then wait for draft picks to develop?

12:45
Dan Szymborski: It seems to be

12:45
Mandy is 92% Fresh: What if the meatloaf is baked in a doughnut pan?

12:45
Dan Szymborski: It’s a doughnut shaped meatloaf

12:45
Matt: This offseason sucks. Why hasn’t my favorite team signed my free agent of choice?

12:45
Dan Szymborski: Becaue you touch yourself

12:45
A question: i only know the decemberists ’cause they were on parks and rec once

12:45
pelkey: We vegans are attempting to persuade meat eaters away from the stuff 🙂 it’s for you, more than us!

12:45
OddBall Herrera: In mother Russia, the carnivorous broccoli eats YOU!

12:46
Ray Man: How many ABs would you see Brandon Lowe getting in Tampa this year?  Can he play 1b at all?

12:46
Dan Szymborski: 200 maybe? Don’t see him at 1B. If you have two arms, you can play 1B to some degree

12:47
DJ Tanner: Of the Rays starters next year, who will be allowed to start and who gets the opener treatment?

12:47
Dan Szymborski: I think Snell, Morton, Glasnow get normal starts. Honeywell eventually will

12:47
GSon: Danny Salazar or Cody Anderson? Who has the better chance to be making starts for the Cleveland Indians this coming summer?

12:47
Dan Szymborski: Salazar because I’m a hopeless optimist

12:48
Mandy is 92% Fresh: Aside from one-year deals for Pomeranz or other broken pitchers with upside, are there any particular free agents that would make sense for the Royals?

12:48
Dan Szymborski: Are tehre any free agents that want to eat Ned Yost?

12:48
Dan Szymborski: Maybe Cody Allen with flippable ideas?

12:49
Robbie: With the Cardinals presumably out on Harper, what’s the next logical move for them?

12:49
Dan Szymborski: One of the top relievers. They could use an extra arm at the front

12:50
Dan Szymborski: Robertson maybe?

12:50
Cold in MN: The Twins have to do something else this off season, right? I know they won’t get Harper/Machado or come near last year’s payroll but they still have to get a starter/bullpen arm?! Also, Donaldson would have been a nice 3B/DH option

12:50
Dan Szymborski: I think they’ll close the deal with *one* of the next tier down from Machado/Harper

12:50
Dan Szymborski: They *really* wanted Darvish

12:50
Dan Szymborski: which turned out badly so far, but I still think it was good at the time

12:50
chet: are the astros needlessly looking for another 1b/DH bat? why not give the job to tyler white?

12:51
Dan Szymborski: Astros are fairly risk-averse in the position theyr’e in

12:51
tbone steak: when is the realmuto drama ending? What do the Dodgers offer to get it done?

12:51
Dan Szymborski: Drama can last a long time. How many years was Quintana and Dozier in trade rumors?

12:51
Matt W: Probably tough to do without further stunting his offensive development, but should Amed Rosario become a CF? Mets have a similar talent in Gimenez on the way and nobody in the minors who profiles as an above average CF.

12:52
Dan Szymborski: No, leave him at SS

12:52
George: If you were in the O’s front office, how would you tackle the rebuild? Seems like tanking may be the only option bc the farm is bad and there isn’t enough mlb talent to get big returns.

12:53
Dan Szymborski: The O’s are like buying a house and all the copper pipes are stripped but then you realize they weren’t stripped, it’s just that nobody thought to install running water or electricity in the first place

12:54
Dan Szymborski: And you realize that grampappy mcgillicuddy’ was using his own poop to grow sorghum

12:54
Ozzie Ozzie Albies Free: I recommend you do try it, Dan. Go to Whole Foods, get a second mortgage first, then get the beyond burger, chao cheese, arugula, an avocado, smart “bacon”, and some pretzel buns.  Put those all together and enjoy it while being in alignment with your worldview.

12:54
Bubba: Meat eaters don’t eat “rotting flesh” anymore than vegetarians eat “rotting vegetables”.  Refrigerators and freezers exist!

12:54
Dan Szymborski: Well, those century eggs

12:54
Matt W: Why would you bake meatloaf in a doughnut pan when you can so easily use a bundt pan?

12:55
Dan Szymborski: If you want to make mashed potato icing and fool someone into believing it was an iced doughnut

12:55
Dan Szymborski: It’s fun to mess with people

12:55
Dan Szymborski: My mom once came over and I was eating hummus and she got really nosy about it, so I told her it was sweet almond cream and to try some and she almost go sick from the surprise – she likes hummus but it was just so much against expectations

12:55
Not mean but regressing: Most annoying food that people eat at baseball games?

12:56
Dan Szymborski: funnel cake

12:56
Dan Szymborski: I’ve never been next to someone with a funnel cake and not had powdered sugar get on me

12:56
Dan Szymborski: Though it’s not so bad at press boxes. I just wander off and grab a bite then come back

12:57
Not mean but regressing: In your opinion, which franchise achieves a good or acceptable results with the most flawed process?

12:57
Dan Szymborski: Rockies?

12:57
Matt: Do you think that legally changing my orientation to pineapple would be a good idea? I have to imagine that pineapples wouldn’t be expected to work.

12:57
Dan Szymborski: You have to sharpen your outsides so that ruffians don’t get your sweet juices

12:57
Mike: You and my mother-in-law have similar opinions about vegetarian chili. However, I must say, the vegetarian chili I made for my wife last night was quite delicious…

12:57
Dan Szymborski: It’s fine to do that and everything, it’s just not chili!

12:58
Dan Szymborski: I’m not going to die hamburger and stew meat green, throw it in a bowl with croutons, and call it salad!

12:58
Non-Vegan: Why would I want not meat to look like meat? When I can just eat the real thing that tastes and looks… Like meat (or dead rotting flesh as the attempts to guilt us put it).

12:58
Dan Szymborski: Now, the food thing that bothers me

12:58
Dan Szymborski: Is honey packaging

12:59
Dan Szymborski: There is a lot of honey that gives you a bear.

12:59
Dan Szymborski: A bear shaped bottle.

12:59
Dan Szymborski: BEARS DO NOT *MAKE* HONEY

12:59
Dan Szymborski: If you’re squeezing syrup from Mrs. Butterworth or Aunt Jemima you can at least believe it’s representing them bringing you syrup

1:00
Dan Szymborski: but a bear does not make honey and does not bring you or give you honey

1:00
Phil Diggety: As a vegan, I eat fake meats and cheeses because I think think they’re delicious (the good ones)

1:00
Matt: Isn’t meatloaf just compressed chili?

1:00
Dan Szymborski: I’m calling the cops

1:00
Matt: There was a place in Chicago called the Meatloaf Bakery. They made cupcake-sizes meat loafs, frosted with mashed potatoes, and sprinkled with chives. I shed a tear because I just love this country so damn much.

1:01
Dan Szymborski:

1:01
Matt: I totally read “hummus” as “humans”.

1:01
OddBall Herrera: Most annoying food at a baseball game: the unshelled peanuts,when they are eaten by someone who seems intent on ending the game seated on a throne of discarded peanut shells

1:01
Matt: Bears don’t make honey? What are you going to tell us next – that storks don’t make babies?

1:02
pelkey: As if the Orioles have an option other than being the worst team in the league. Tanking isn’t a strategy, here.

1:02
CDial: Why wouldn’t do the same with the bear? A bear could be bringing you honey

1:02
Dan Szymborski: Why would a bear bring you honey? Bears don’t bring you t hings

1:03
hoser: re:packaging how about the corn syrup container that looks like a beehive, terribly misleading for a young hoser

1:03
Dan Szymborski: Why can’t the honey come in beehive bottles?

1:03
Dan Szymborski: And the corn syrup from a corncob bottle?

1:03
Brian CashGod: also, just curious because I was debating this with mom yesterday – Skyline vs Gold Star chili?

1:03
Dan Szymborski: Uggh

1:03
Matt: My bear brings me things, Dan.

1:03
Dan Szymborski: I will end the chat with these lies.

1:03
Dan Szymborski: Thanks for coming everyone! Hope to see you next week! Hopefully I won’t be hacking up a lung.

We hoped you liked reading Dan Szymborski FanGraphs Chat – 12/17/18 by Dan Szymborski!

Please support FanGraphs by becoming a member. We publish thousands of articles a year, host multiple podcasts, and have an ever growing database of baseball stats.

FanGraphs does not have a paywall. With your membership, we can continue to offer the content you've come to rely on and add to our unique baseball coverage.

Support FanGraphs




Dan Szymborski is a senior writer for FanGraphs and the developer of the ZiPS projection system. He was a writer for ESPN.com from 2010-2018, a regular guest on a number of radio shows and podcasts, and a voting BBWAA member. He also maintains a terrible Twitter account at @DSzymborski.

newest oldest most voted
OddBall Herrera
Member
OddBall Herrera

Clearly the message behind the bear shaped bottle is “F#&@ Pooh Bear, the honey is ours”