Eno or Paul? Paul or Eno?: Hi Eno…or Paul,

Eno Sarris: It’s Paul!!!

Eno Sarris: If you watch Broad City, you’ll recognize this fire af jam from last week’s premier. It’s great:

Eno Sarris: Let’s talk some baseball!

Ryan: Dynasty league — Michael Brantley or Justin Upton?

Eno Sarris: Going Upton here. Not only does Brantley have the shoulder this year, but the back from previous year makes him a little sketchy long-term, too.

Dave Cameron: It’s Wednesday, so let’s chat. I was only expecting to chat for 60 minutes or so, but Jose Bautista thinks 150 is more reasonable.

Dave Cameron: So we’ll see how long we go!

mtsw: [Orioles physical joke]

Dave Cameron: I wonder exactly what they think this all accomplishes? What’s the point of being known as the organization who will back out of deals?

Eddy: Should the Rangers opt to start Gallo in LF to open the season? Feel like they have viable in house options instead of signing a FA.

Dave Cameron: It seems like he should at least get a look, given that he’s blocked by Beltre at third. But if they are serious about contending, they can’t have their plan be Gallo with no backup.

Paul Swydan: OK let’s do this!

Paul Swydan: I am somewhat dismayed that you are all so rational about the Reyes thing. Is this not the Hot Take Zone?

Paul Swydan: (Kidding. It isn’t.)

Ceej : Both $1 players. Pollock or Schwarber as a final keeper? Due in a week.

Paul Swydan: I like both, but I have to lean Pollock. He has more well defined performance at the big league level, and a more clearly defined role moving forward. And he’s only 28.

Jeff Zimmerman: Pollock, I think. Tough call. It may come down to the makeup of the rest of your team.

Dan Szymborski: Hey guys! Sorry I’m late, Time-Warner was doing some work on the block and I was internetless for a few hours.

Dan Szymborski: Uh oh, it appears to be just me.

Testing: How many wins will the Twins have?

Dan Szymborski: I have him in mid 70s, but they could be higher.

hscer: What is “System and Compressed Memory” and why is it such a jerk to my RAM and disk drive?

Dan Szymborski: Can you send me the whole image of yoru RAM usage on Twitter or something?

Jeff Sullivan: Hello friends

Jeff Sullivan: Welcome to Friday baseball chat

The Ghost of Dayn Perry: soft pretzel or cornbread?

Jeff Sullivan: soft fucking pretzel

The Ghost of Dayn Perry: What’s your favorite pitch to watch? Either across the entire league, like 2 seamers, or a specific pitch, like Hamels’ changeup

Jeff Sullivan: For me it remains the Felix Hernandez changeup although I’m a total sucker for good pitches and pitchers in general. My strongest bias is I’m more interested in arms than bats

Eno Sarris: ooooops

Eno Sarris: was in the wrong chat room haha

Eno Sarris: WHERE IS EVERYONE

Eno Sarris: Well here you are.

Eno Sarris: Here’s the song I would have shared. My wedding song.

Brian: Rank these guys in a dynasty: Cole, Kluber, Jose Fernandez.

Paul Swydan: Hi everybody!

Paul Swydan: Surprisingly few of you voted that both polls and me are stupid.

Paul Swydan: Ok Jeff is ready. Let’s do this.

Birch Barlow: Paul Swydan, you are well known for your lenient stance on crime, but suppose for a second that your house was ransacked by thugs, your family was tied up in the basement with socks in their mouths, you try to open the door but there’s too much blood on the knob….My question is about the budget.

Jeff Zimmerman: BTW, here is the link to tonight’s LABR draft: http://www.rtsports.com/labr-mixed-draft

Jeff Zimmerman: What budget?

Jeff Sullivan: Hello friends

Jeff Sullivan: Welcome to the last Friday baseball chat before spring training?

BossMan: Mark Teixeira HOFer?

Jeff Sullivan: Can’t see it. He’d need to have an amazing back half of his 30s to even have a chance

Lee: Expectations for Blake Swihart?

Jeff Sullivan: Below-average offense overall, but not by too much, and the Red Sox in general will be satisfied with their catcher position

Eno Sarris: be here soon! in the meantime, this track is awesome

Chad: Is Danny Duffy gonna get a rotation spot?

Eno Sarris: I guess he can keep Chris Young at arms length, but I doubt he has much more than 100 IP.

Barney: When can we expect to see Zips projections added to player pages?

Eno Sarris: Once they all done!

Miketron: Could Raisel outperform Carlos Carrasco this year or am I going too far?

Paul Swydan: Hi everybody! I’m here, and Jeff will be along in a minute.

GG: Who does better in Japan? Jason Pridie or Jonny Gomes?

Paul Swydan: Jonny Gomes? He just seems to have a way about him.

Jeff Zimmerman: Ghomes

Dude99: If you had a 40 man roster of 0.0 WAR players and you played a simulated season, what would their avg record be? this would really help define WAR for us non math dudes.

Paul Swydan: I believe it is in the 40s? Jeff? We get this question all the time and I can never remember the exact number because I’m a moron.